He ignored me until the end as I pleaded that it was difficult. He didn’t accept my first attempt at acting spoiled.

The Duchess Belaste, who sighed deeply, suddenly grabbed my hand.

“I’m sorry, Larien.”

“…Why are you apologizing, Duchess?”

The one who should apologize was not the Duchess Belaste.

Although trying to drive Larien away deserved criticism, they hadn’t openly harassed or abused her.

“I heard about what happened in Rachel’s room.”

She was regretting giving me the key.

“I just wanted you to see Rachel’s diary once. Rachel asked to give it to you when you came of age…”

She pressed her lips together, truly distressed.

“You’ve never properly seen your mother’s face, have you? Rachel’s portrait is only in that place, so I gave you the key, but it only ended up hurting your father unnecessarily.”

I disliked the Duchess Belaste’s shallow sympathy.

‘She knows everything I said to Duke Belaste…?’

It was shameful.

This situation where others knew that I had begged for love from Duke Belaste.

“I’m sorry, Larien.”

Whether she was truly sorry or not didn’t matter.

“What’s the use of saying you’re sorry now when it’s already happened?”

“Larien…”

I didn’t want to talk to the Duchess Belaste anymore.

“As the Duke said, the past doesn’t come back. And I don’t get a chance to change that past. So don’t worry about it anymore.”

Just like it was from the beginning.

Like the moment they wanted to get rid of Larien.

Just keep that much distance.

“Don’t feel sorry for me.”

I didn’t want to be hurt anymore, and I didn’t have the luxury to endure it.

‘I should leave tonight.’

I wanted to get away from here, from Duke Belaste, as soon as possible.

When I returned to the annex, Mary handed me a small box filled with macarons.

“Mary. What is this?”

“Marquis Rowe came and left this for you.”

It was macarons from Lumon Bakery, which I liked.

“He said to tell you he’s sorry.”

“…Jade?”

Macarons were what Jade used to give me whenever we fought.

‘When was the first time Jade gave me macarons?’

At 15, the day I grabbed the collar of a nobleman Jade had confessed to me about.

When I told Jade to apologize, he stubbornly insisted he had done nothing wrong.

Frustrated that he was even hiding the reason why he lost his temper and rushed at the nobleman, I said we shouldn’t see each other for a while.

Then Jade sent macarons like today. Along with a note saying he was sorry and wouldn’t do it again.

Macarons were Jade’s reconciliation gift.

‘Don’t soften your heart. You decided to leave, remember?’

I took my eyes off the macaron box and pulled out a potion with rippling pink waves.

“…Mary. Uncle gave me a boat ticket to Lekahr. I’m leaving at night. If I drink this, it’ll turn me into the last person I touched.”

“If you drink that potion and leave as me, it’ll be fine even if someone else sees you.”

“Yes. You go ahead and rent a carriage first. We might get caught if we use the Belaste family’s carriage.”

“Alright, I’ll wait by the back gate then. Be careful coming out.”

Mary left the annex first to rent a carriage.

I fiddled with the macaron box I had put in the drawer.

‘I should at least leave a letter to ease Jade’s mind.’

I wrote down everything I wanted to say to Jade on the stationery. Knowing we’d never meet again, I poured out all my emotions.

This is the first time I’m writing you a letter. You asked me to write you a letter before, didn’t you?

I refused then because it was bothersome and embarrassing, but I didn’t know this letter would be my first and last.

By the time you receive this, you’ll have already heard about me. I received the macarons well. I forgive you.

I won’t be able to see you or be by your side anymore, but I’ll never forget the time we spent together.

Live happily, smiling. That’s all I wish for you. You’ll grant my request, won’t you?

Jade. Thank you for being my friend.

−Larien. ]

By the time I put the final period, the moon of the dim dawn was visible. The moon shone with a pure white light in its noble figure.

‘I should go now.’

After packing the letter, I drank the potion and the effect was immediate.

My hair turned dark gray, my eyes reflected green, and the freckles prominent on both cheeks told me I had turned into Mary.

‘When they realize I’m gone, the Duke will track me.’

To completely escape his grasp, it would be better to fake my death.

“…Fire?”

The sound of firewood burning quickly seeped in.

If I set fire to the annex to make it look like I died…

‘When I turn into a sparrow, they’ll think I burned because of my small size.’

Swallowing hard, I approached the fireplace. I picked up some unburned firewood and threw it into the room.

Locking the door with the blazing flames in my sight, I left the annex.

But.

“Stop right there.”

On my way to the back gate, Uriel stopped me and strode towards me.

“…I see you, Young Master.”

“Aren’t you Larien’s personal maid? Where are you going in the middle of the night?”

I pressed my lips together, trying not to show my surprise.

I had drunk the potion on purpose to prepare for this kind of situation. Thinking that being nervous would look more suspicious, I straightened my shoulders that had hunched.

“I was just going out for a moment on an errand for the young lady.”

“What kind of errand requires going out at such a late hour?”

Uriel was full of suspicion and wouldn’t let me go.

I needed an excuse that was urgent enough to send an errand at this late hour, but not too suspicious.

‘If I say Earl Boston is sick, he won’t ask further.’

I made up a worried expression, looking for a reason he would accept.

“The young lady’s uncle, Earl Boston, is not well. She was worried and asked me to go see him.”

“…Earl Boston?”

As expected, Uriel’s hardened face softened.

“She must be very worried.”

It was an answer that understood why ‘Mary’ was going out at this hour.

“…I have something to say to her for a moment. I should go to the annex briefly.”

I hurriedly grabbed Uriel as he turned towards the annex.

“Ah, the young lady is sleeping now. If you tell me, I’ll relay the message to her.”

“Then, tell her not to worry too much about the Crown Princess selection, as I’m persuading father.”

Uriel’s concern for me felt unfamiliar.

‘Why has he been trying to stop the Duke lately?’

It would have been better for Uriel, who would succeed Duke Belaste, to have a sister who was the Crown Princess.

I watched Uriel’s back as he entered the private training ground.

“Young lady! Over here!”

Hearing Mary’s voice, I snapped out of my thoughts and headed towards the back gate, holding my breath.

The back gate in the annex was impassable due to thorny vines, so there were no guards. Nearby, a hole hidden by bushes was convenient for sneaking out.

Going through the hole, a carriage without any markings and Mary were waiting.

“Young lady. You took longer than expected, I thought something had happened.”

“I ran into Uriel on my way out. He seemed suspicious, so I had to make up an excuse.”

I let out a breath I had been holding in tension as I got into the carriage.

As we gradually entered the downtown area, I saw a post office and stopped the carriage briefly.

“Mary. Put this letter in the mailbox.”

“It’s for Marquis Rowe, right?”

“Yes.”

Mary got off the carriage and put the letter in the mailbox.

‘Jade. If you receive that letter…’

I wondered if Jade would be sad when he heard the news that I had burned to death.

Even when the horse he had been with for a long time since childhood died, Jade was indifferent.

When he learned of the horse’s death, his whispered words that it had lasted longer than expected were the end.

Perhaps it was because I saw his emotionless eyes, as if it had been just a creature he had liked for a moment.

I remember being introduced to it as a horse he cherished, a gift from his father, so I was surprised by Jade’s monotonous response.

At that time, Jade’s gaze contained no emotion, not suppressing sadness.

Somehow, it felt like Jade would forget about me quickly, just like that horse, and I felt inexplicably disappointed.

‘I’ll just not forget.’

With a sorrowful heart, I tried to remember all the time I had spent with him so as not to forget.

The spring waltz I danced with Jade at the debutante ball was clumsy but enjoyable throughout.

Jade’s hand, escorting me to the center of the hall, was so warm.

Thinking about the baby who would never feel his warmth forever made my eyes sting.

‘Jade. I’ll raise the baby well. I’ll give lots of love, including your share.’

Dong, dong, dong.

The clear bell of the clock tower announcing the hour rang out around.

‘I should go now to catch the boat.’

With a heart hoping Jade would live well, I put the letter in the mailbox and hurried to the Venice port.

“Young lady, I should turn into a mouse before we board the ship.”

“Sit on my shoulder. I’ll hide you with my hair.”

I picked up Mary, who had turned into a mouse, hid her, and got off the carriage.

Looking around the dock, I noticed a ship with the lily of the valley, the symbol of Boston, painted on it.

I handed the boat ticket to the sailor standing at the entrance of the ship.

“Welcome, Viscountess Diane Boston. I’ll escort you to the special room.”

The sailor who saw the ticket bowed deeply and politely guided me.

As I boarded the ship, the sound of crashing waves filled my ears. A cool breeze blew.

The salty smell of seawater was mixed with the scent of winter.

I felt a cold sensation on my cheeks. Looking up at the sky, white snow began to fall.