Please Break Up with Me, I Beg! - Chapter 68

Litania lifted her gaze, blurred by tears.

The night corridor was darkly tinged under a soft glow.

She moved her steps, engulfed in complex emotions. The castle was coldly quiet.

As if it could offer her no comfort.

‘My shoulders feel… heavy…’

The robe Snow had put on her, though thick, was made of light fabric sewn together, and normally wouldn’t have felt heavy.

Yet her slumped shoulders wouldn’t straighten. An undisguisable melancholy was weighing her down.

‘Ah, the divorce papers. I left them in the dressing room.’

The dressing room was for the exclusive use of the dragon castle’s mistress, so Orbis wouldn’t find them. The servants wouldn’t open an envelope sealed with the emperor’s stamp either, so she’d have to deliver it to Orbis herself later.

‘If I reveal that I’m a fake… what will Orbis do?’

Will he be disappointed? Angry? Try to kill her for deceiving his love?

Litania trudged along, imagining all sorts of unhappy futures she could think of.

‘No. It might not be. Orbis might not have turned back time…’

Despite finding clues to explain his suspicious behavior so far, fear and anxiety kept searching endlessly for ways to avoid reality.

Maybe Orbis loved her as she was now. Even if she was fake, maybe he could say it was okay because he loved her now.

‘…Would a man who loved like that come to love only me after spending just 1 year with me?’

In the night’s stillness, Litania quietly returned to her room. Those few steps to the bed felt a thousand miles long.

‘Orbis, the one you love.’

Her heart pounded loudly as worries repeated.

‘Is it really me?’

Tears welled up in her eyes.

The pitch-black night seemed just like her future.

She felt her heavily sunken consciousness slowly floating up. Someone was caressing her face.

“Mmm…”

Litania lifted her heavy eyelids. Her blurry vision gradually cleared, and a beautiful man’s face came into view.

“…Orbis.”

“I’m sorry, Litania. I tried not to wake you, but I wanted to give this to you today.”

“Hm…?”

What did he want to give?

As Litania tried to sit up, Orbis supported her by holding her shoulders. She raised her upper body and leaned her head against his chest.

His clothes felt cool, as if he had been waiting a long time for her to wake up.

“Litania. Do you know? Today marks exactly one year since you and I got married.”

“One year… oh.”

Wedding anniversary.

Remembering that, Litania’s eyes sparkled as she straightened up.

“I’m sorry. I should have prepared a gift.”

To forget a gift because of preparing for the banquet, there’s a limit to putting the cart before the horse.

“It’s alright. I wanted to give this to you.”

Orbis held out a small box to Litania.

“What’s this?”

“Open it, Litania.”

Seeing how small the box was, Litania thought it might be an accessory like earrings or a ring. As she untied the ribbon and opened the lid, she let out a small “Ah.”

“It’s a music box.”

“Yes.”

This was unexpected. Litania took out the silver music box and carefully opened its lid.

The melody they heard at their wedding ceremony rang out beautifully.

If that was all, it would be an ordinary music box.

“Orbis, this…”

“It was quite a challenge to make it small.”

As the music box’s spring wound up, images of the two of them drawn under an arched window passed by like a video.

“I tried to capture our year together.”

Their figures at the wedding ceremony, strolling in the garden and having tea, riding horses together, even teaching swimming in the lake.

The record of their time together was drawn in tiny pictures rotating inside the music box.

“Orbis. This…”

“Do you like it?”

Gently stroking Litania’s cheek, Orbis continued.

“I originally wanted to give you a pink diamond that resembles your eyes, but I’ve given you that before.”

“…”

“On a special day, I wanted to give you a gift with special memories.”

A record of one year.

Her heart ached as she recalled the precious moments captured in the small pictures.

Sometimes pictures are easier than words to record memories. She understood why Orbis had said such things.

“Orbis, I have something to tell you.”

“Please speak, Litania.”

“Actually…”

Litania tried to continue, but her throat tightened and she closed her mouth. Though it wasn’t sadness, tears welled up.

Orbis, is this your second life? Did you regress because you regretted the past?

But I’m not the Litania you loved before the regression.

Herna has the memories of the pre-regression Litania.

Perhaps the one you loved was actually Herna, and you’re now mistakenly pouring your love on the wrong person?

Unorganized questions filled her mind. Litania couldn’t come to her senses amidst the storm of thoughts rushing in.

She was receiving undeserved love. His heart wasn’t hers. The thought of stealing love meant for someone else made her chest tight and her stomach churn.

“What if… I’m someone unworthy of your love?”

Knowing it was a cowardly question, she could only ask so defensively.

No. I should ask properly. I’m actually not the pre-regression Litania you loved. I’m a different person from modern times who just looks the same.

I need to say it.

“Litania. I don’t know why you’re thinking this way, but.”

Orbis gently took her hand.

“You are my only person.”

“…”

Her eyes grew hot and her vision blurred with tears.

Orbis, who had been gently caressing Litania’s hand as she didn’t know what to do, slowly bent down and kissed her forehead.

He wiped her tear-stained eyes with his lips, passed over her flushed cheeks, and embraced her whimpering lips as if to soothe them.

Though she knew it was clearly an act of comfort, Litania cried even more sorrowfully.

‘Do you really like me? Or are you just failing to recognize that I’m a different person?’

Unable to utter the words that had risen to the tip of her tongue, she hung her head. Orbis gently embraced Litania’s shoulders and slowly stroked her back.

“Litania, my friend. And my bride. Don’t hold onto memories that trouble you.”

“Hic, ugh…”

“It’s okay to forget. Send all the painful memories away to somewhere else. That’s enough.”

Is that really okay?

Is it okay to forget?

Is it okay to receive your love while pretending not to know?

If so, will I be able to endure it when you later realize your mistake and turn away in disappointment?

Frightened by just imagining it, Litania clutched Orbis’s clothes.

“Orbis, I’m so scared.”

“Did I frighten you again?”

“…Yes. I’m so scared of you.”

Scared that you might abandon me and turn away.

Scared that you might regret the time spent pouring love on the wrong person and leave me.

That’s so frightening.

“Oh my.”

Orbis patted Litania’s back and whispered in her ear.

“What should I do to make you not afraid?”

“…”

“Tell me, my love.”

My love.

As if intoxicated by the sweetness of those words, Litania closed her eyes.

Even if it wasn’t the truth, even if it was a lie.

She didn’t want to miss this moment’s burning desire.

If this was greed, she could understand why humans so stubbornly pursue only greed even knowing they will fall into the abyss.

“You said husband and wife are one body.”

Litania let out a wet sigh and lifted her head to look at Orbis. Their faces were so close their lips almost touched.

“Become one with me.”

As if responding to that plea, their lips met.

The crumpled robe parted, and as they stumbled backward, it fell beneath the bed sheets.

“Litania.”

Litania instinctively grasped the back of Orbis’s head. His smooth golden hair wrapped around her fingers, and when she gripped tightly, it tangled messily.

It was the first time she had seen his hair tangled like this. It was also the first time she had seen such an expression on his face.

Though everything was a first, strangely, it felt familiar.

As if she had known him in this form for a very long time.

For a very long time…

‘It feels like I’ve been loved by this man.’

Is it a misunderstanding, a delusion? Maybe I just want to believe it.

“Orbis, do you love me?”

“I love you.”

At first, insecurity that seemed out of place took root, then conceit grew over it, and now selfishness covered it all.

‘I’m the one Orbis loves.’

Even if I’m not the ‘real Litania’.

Even if I’m not the one Orbis loved enough to turn back time for.

At this moment, he clearly loves her.

“You know, Orbis. I also…”

I love you.

“So… become mine.”