People Aren't Meant to Be Fixed! - Chapter 63

If it were the mischievous Sasha, he would have teased that the princess who said such things was still a child, but Carlyle was relieved that he hadn’t made a mistake to upset my mood.

“Then are you tired these days from fulfilling your duties as the heir to the throne?”

Seeing him sincerely worry about me first, I inwardly muttered that he was indeed worthy of being a general, then shrugged my shoulders.

“Something like that.”

Compared to the hardships during the previous emperor’s reign, it was only a fraction, but back then, even when I was a small child like a noble lady with no connections, I was superior to now as the imperial princess in every aspect.

At that time, my body wasn’t weak, and with the experience of my previous life, I absorbed anything I learned quickly, so much so that Ulrika once praised me, saying I learned and mastered things as easily as drinking water from a cup in one gulp.

“But it’s not deathly difficult. Besides, would it be proper for a monarch to lack composure in front of future subjects?”

So I put my hands on my waist and squared my shoulders, telling him to just pretend not to notice, and Carlyle gazed at me with sparkling eyes, as if in awe, before gradually coloring his face with worry.

“It’s truly a great honor to serve such an excellent princess. But…”

“What is it?”

Thinking he might sink into the ground again, I looked closely at Carlyle’s face, but it wasn’t like that.

“Have you ever felt like it’s a wall when you have to move forward on one path while in an unavoidable situation?”

“Not really.”

During the previous emperor’s time, I might have thought about wanting to run away because there was too much work and it was overwhelming, but I never truly wanted to throw everything away and disappear.

Whether in the life of a desperately poor beggar or a wealthy life, trials always followed, and I always broke through and moved forward.

“I see. I like that you’re always strong and confident, Your Highness.”

Carlyle smiled gently and said to make sure to confide in him if there ever came a moment of anguish or hesitation that was troubling.

“Thank you for your concern.”

I have an old soul of hundreds of years inside me, so I’m well-endured or numb to many things and often don’t feel much, but if I were an ordinary princess, it might have been difficult to handle everything at the age of 10.

“By the way, Carlyle, what you said earlier made me think about my future in various ways.”

As I crossed my arms and slightly changed the subject, Carlyle innocently lent his ear, not knowing my intention.

“What if I had an older sibling born before me and didn’t need to inherit the throne, what would happen to me? I suppose when the time came, I’d be married off to strengthen ties with foreign royalty or the most influential family in the empire?”

It’s boring yet dislikeable. Since I don’t have good memories related to this, I suddenly felt unpleasant as I recalled the ministers clinging to me and pressuring me to bear an heir during the previous emperor’s time.

‘Why doesn’t Lady Varia have a proper lover, not get married, and not even get engaged? There were rumors that she was preparing to become the head of the family, is that true?’

Moreover, fragments of memories from my life as a noble lady slowly surfaced.

That era was decades before the current time when I was born as an imperial princess, so it was a time when it was unthinkable for women to become heads of families like Marchioness Fleur or for women to become knights and be active.

Even though there were various things women could do if they were of noble status, decisive positions of power like family heads or knights were always reserved for men.

So my behavior of keeping those who approached me as collaborators while searching for answers to divine questions was bound to be seen as abnormal by other social circles, and whenever I attended parties, I invariably received such questions.

There wasn’t even a single person who asked purely out of curiosity, so considering the times, I, who showed such groundbreaking behavior, lived quite a hard life. It was stressful enough to make me think it might have been better to be born a man.

“Your Highness, there’s no need for the destination to be like that.”

Had my expression become too dark? Carlyle hastily added.

“There’s also the path of becoming a great general like the Empress.”

“Even so, as a member of the imperial family, marriage is unavoidable. Even if I become an outstanding knight in the future, that remains the same.”

As the previous emperor, I barely avoided it by dodging here and there until I grew old and died, abdicating to Jeff, but since I have to see how this life will turn out, I gave a neutral answer.

“That’s…”

Carlyle’s voice gradually lost strength, and he became gloomy.

“That’s what it means to become a noble or royalty. The more you reign over others and enjoy better things, the more rules and responsibilities are imposed according to that abundance. Marriage is just one of those procedures, as books indirectly express.”

I couldn’t say it was what I experienced in this body, so I skirted around it appropriately, glanced briefly towards Frayley and Sasha, then blurted out.

“Anyway, you worry too much.”

Considering the level of kids that age, it’s quite a profound thought, but I just hope Carlyle will build up his skills as I advised before, create his own people, lay the foundation for his power, and successfully raise up the Bergamot ducal family.

“Oh, by the way, speaking of that. Previously…”

Afterwards, I shifted the topic of conversation to the business of the Fleur family and exchanged various opinions with Carlyle. Seeing his expression sadden again at the mention of marriage made my head throb.

It kept bothering me unnecessarily and I couldn’t ignore it, so I thought I might have to comfort him after all, which was a big reason why I wanted to change the atmosphere.

“We’ve finally arrived. This is the entrance to the imperial archive.”

“Wow~”

Ronowe and Berith, Sasha and Frayley, who had gone far ahead, couldn’t help but marvel at the magnificent doors of the archive, adorned with gilded patterns and engravings.

‘Compared to the imperial library doors, this is overwhelmingly impressive.’

It’s also a collection of ancient books, and since it’s a place where books have been collected since the king’s generation before Ulrika, I remember that when it became an empire, a lot of budget was allocated for construction here. The interior only underwent repair work, but the entrance had its doors completely replaced, I recalled as I blinked my eyes.

“I want to go in right away!”

Ronowe, who loves reading very much, showed the most enthusiasm by bouncing on the spot, while Frayley, still escorted by Sasha, had eyes brimming with anticipation, giving the impression of several stars clustered and twinkling.

Miranda and Hayley, of course, opened the heavy doors wide with warm smiles, and seeing their surprisingly good strength, I thought they might have been good as knights if they had grown up that way from childhood.

“It’s like a world made of books.”

And finally, upon entering the imperial archive, although its interior was similar to the imperial library and I felt no particular emotion, Frayley especially, among those visiting for the first time, loved it very much.

It was worth seeing her surprised face with wide eyes, covering her mouth with both hands as if she had come to a place made of mirages never to be seen again in this world.

“Are you that excited?”

I gestured to Carlyle beside me to go to the group, then approached Frayley.

“Isn’t the archive in your ducal residence about this big too?”

“Our family’s archive is much smaller, Your Highness.”

How modest. I nodded at Frayley’s answer.

Honestly, since the imperial archive is a place I visit less often than the library, I looked around here and there, thinking of checking if anything had changed from my previous life as it had been too long since my last visit.

“Fray, sit down for now.”

Meanwhile, Sasha, who seemed worried about his sister, approached and took Frayley away.

“I’ll bring you the books you want to see.”

“Thank you, Sasha.”

Can siblings be this close? I was turning my head indifferently when I suddenly realized that Ronowe and Berith were nowhere to be seen, so I walked over to Carlyle.

“Where did they go?”

I pointed to the spot where the group had been standing just moments ago.

“They said opportunities to view ancient books are rare, so they went ahead to find books.”

I hope they don’t cause trouble and damage the ancient books. After quietly praying in my heart, I picked up Poppy, who was yawning big as if bored beside me, and held him in my arms.

“Is that so? Since we’re here, I should read a book too. You’re going to read as well, right?”

“Yes, Your Highness. Let’s go together.”

Seeing Carlyle naturally following me, I suddenly thought that Ronowe and Berith had grown a lot. Seven years ago, those two were so small and young that Carlyle followed behind them, and I always had at least one lady-in-waiting accompanying me.

“Now you don’t have to follow behind Ronowe and Berith anymore.”

“That’s because so much time has passed. Just in case, I strictly warned them not to damage the ancient books. I told them even money enough to buy cake for a lifetime wouldn’t be enough compensation.”

“Well done.”

I blurted out, thinking he had done well to prevent any troublesome incidents, but Carlyle was pleased, so I let it pass, thinking that’s just how he is.

“Let’s split up from here. I’ll go over there to find a book I like.”

I declared that I would go alone while putting Poppy, whom I had been holding until now, back on the floor.

“Understood, Your Highness. Please find me right away if you need any help.”

“Alright.”

I responded casually and immediately turned around, looking here and there. Knowing that the rarest ancient books in the empire are steadily being collected here, I saw that some of the lower shelves contained ancient books that I had acquired during my time as a noble lady.

‘The fact that this is here means that descendants must have sold or donated it after death.’

For a moment I thought they were ungrateful, but since there’s nothing I could do after death, I passed by indifferently.

“Oh, that book…”

I had gone around once and was about to just pull out any book as I couldn’t find one that appealed to me.

‘That cover looks so familiar.’

It reminded me of a book that a scholar had presented to me when I was the previous emperor, so I felt I needed to check it, but I hesitated as it was shelved quite high.

Swish-.

I thought I might be able to manage if I raised my heels, but even though I had escaped being a shortie, my still small stature made my outstretched arm tremble without even my fingertips reaching it.

‘This won’t do. I’ll have to step on Poppy to reach it.’

Since Poppy’s small mouth or short arms couldn’t take out the book, I was about to tell him to bear with it for a moment, though I felt sorry.

“Guk?”

‘I hope he won’t burst.’

I trust you, alchemy.

Poppy, not knowing what I was thinking, just tilted his head when our eyes met, and I lowered my increasingly numb arm and ordered him to stay still with a serious face.

“Your Highness, let me help you.”

That’s when it happened.

‘What?’

Suddenly, a dark shadow loomed over my head, and Carlyle’s voice was heard from behind.