People Aren't Meant to Be Fixed! - Chapter 38

“That’s a difficult question.”

Jeff hesitated, perhaps because my question had far exceeded the level of a three-year-old. He soon crossed his arms and sank into serious thought with a grave expression, while I fiddled with the teddy bear in my arms out of boredom as I waited for his answer.

“Do you know what ‘connection’ means when you’re asking this?”

But the response that came back was not the answer I wanted.

“No. I just got curious while ambitiously reading a difficult book.”

Phew. I sighed inwardly. Jeff’s expression of praise and admiration appeared, making me think he would just treat me like a child and be done with it. He could have simply regarded me as admirable and brushed it off as something the still young princess wouldn’t understand.

So disappointment hit me first, and I anticipated a bad outcome.

“Besides, I’m only 3 years old, and there’s a lot I lack to find the answer to the problem on my own.”

However, not wanting to let this question go unresolved, I added a plausible statement. Poppy immediately reacted to my clumsy acting.

“Quack…”

Perhaps thinking I was sad, it gripped the edge of my blanket tightly with its small hand, looking like it was about to cry.

“Even when I tried to look into it first, it only made my head more complicated. So I asked the question while it was on my mind.”

I glanced at Poppy, then turned my head to look straight at Jeff.

If I said this much, unless he was stupid, he should reconsider my initial question and give a proper answer.

‘Honestly, if it were the old me, I would have ignored it. I hate complicated things.’

I don’t know why. It’s just that the words I heard when I first and last met Yongyong kept muddling my thoughts.

‘It’s a different kind of shock from the treasure hunt. I want to resolve it quickly and stop worrying about it.’

I dislike being tired, regardless of the cause. It was bad enough trying to find God’s answer, I didn’t want this to bother me too.

“Darjeeling…”

And after waiting for who knows how long.

“Daddy thinks it’s really admirable and cool that you always have the enthusiasm to learn about various things.”

Jeff erased the playfulness he usually exuded whenever he saw me, and became solemn.

“But I’m worried that you seem too intelligent and precocious compared to your peers.”

“Why?”

What the hell, just tell me straight, what’s the harm! I barely suppressed my rising irritation and managed my expression.

“That’s because what you see changes depending on how much you know.”

Meanwhile, Jeff added a look of regret to his still solemn face.

“Moreover, Daddy hoped that Darjeeling would live without worries or concerns in the innocent world of a child.”

To think I’d have these words I once said to Carlyle thrown back at me like this.

‘Oh my, such concern is only possible because you don’t know I’m the former emperor.’

Having already been through thick and thin and tainted by the secular world, my mind couldn’t possibly be a field of flowers.

“Darjeeling, did Daddy say something too difficult earlier?”

Unaware of my thoughts, Jeff brightened his slightly dejected expression and changed the subject in a cheerful tone.

“Forget what I just said. And before I answer your question, let me first explain what a connection is.”

Jeff then laughed out loud and winked one eye.

“A connection refers to relationships like those between parents and children, like mommy and daddy with our Darjeeling, and friendships with companions.”

After finishing speaking, Jeff reached out and tucked my disheveled hair behind my ear.

“And a connection is like a strong rope.”

“Why a rope? It can break at any time, and it’s not even that strong.”

Strange. I immediately tilted my head at Jeff’s analogy.

‘I know from personal experience that cases like Ulrika or Yongyong are rare.’

Moreover, connections are like sandcastles – easy to build, but crumbling in an instant.

“That’s why you need to manage them diligently. To prevent them from breaking, you need to meet often and spend time together regularly.”

“Is that how you cherish connections?”

It still doesn’t quite sink in. I thought it would be something profound, but I couldn’t believe that simply repeating such simple actions could cherish connections.

“Yes. It’s also important to share even small things, know how to be grateful, and know how to apologize.”

Jeff smiled faintly and tapped his chest with his index finger.

“And everything you experience with your connections becomes memories that pile up here, bit by bit.”

“Memories…”

I think I understand, but then again, maybe not. In a theoretical sense, it was easy to accept what it meant to maintain connections and bonds, but it was difficult to grasp the true feeling of the relationship between hearts hidden within.

Even though I understood it intellectually, my heart felt empty, as if someone had deliberately cut out only the part that receives emotions with scissors.

‘Still, as I keep mulling over what Jeff said, I guess I do have some memories worth calling that with the little ones.’

Watching Fleur’s siblings play with toy swords in the playroom with indifference, playing hide-and-seek together in the garden, Jeff and Hecate pretending to be fairy kings and playing with balloons – none of the time spent together was entirely meaningless.

The only flaw was that I often got annoyed and felt tired, as if I was babysitting.

“It’s difficult. I’d rather read letters.”

My head’s going to explode. I grumbled, tossing aside the teddy bear in my arms, and Jeff handed me several letters with an understanding smile.

“Don’t peek from the side.”

“Daddy would never do such a bad thing!”

Making such an eager face while pretending not to – I muttered inwardly that he was just feigning innocence.

‘Hmm, Sasha and Carlyle’s handwriting is generally neat.’

Both wrote well for their age. The content was predictable, all wishing for my recovery, with Sasha’s handwriting being a bit more mature.

‘Ronowe and Berith have drawn pictures all over the stationery.’

In contrast, the riffraff’s writing was a mess. How well could a 3-year-old write anyway, but drawing green grass with potatoes and some unidentifiable yellow-skinned creature was bizarre.

‘I’d like to teach them how to write, but it’s impossible with a body not even 4 years old.’

Honestly, there’s nothing I couldn’t do, but I was trying to avoid appearing too mature as much as possible. Being seen as smarter than peers could be brushed off as simply being a prodigy to some extent, but constantly excelling at everything would be suspicious.

Moreover, Ronowe and Berith were children of the Fleur family, so their education should be handled by them. It would be laughable for me to directly intervene just because I found it frustrating.

“Darjeeling, how about resting until this week and seeing your companions next week?”

“Yes, let’s do that.”

Anyway, perhaps because this body was born weak, I was already tired from just a bit of thinking, and Jeff told me to rest well, saying he’d see me again later.

‘Being grateful was also one of the ways Jeff mentioned to cherish connections.’

A little while later. Miranda and Hayley re-arranged my bedding, and I thought as I leaned back against a fluffy new pillow.

‘Should I try it with these two?’

It was impulsive, but doing it with just anyone felt awkward, and someone close by was a good experimental subject. In a way, the relationship with maids was also a kind of connection.

‘As royalty, I can’t lower my head too much, so I’ll just close my eyes and try it once.’

I swallowed once and opened my mouth, looking at Hayley, the brown-haired maid nearby.

“I have something to say.”

“Yes, Your Highness. What would you like to talk about?”

The maid approached with a bright smile, and I hesitated, suddenly finding it hard to speak.

“Well, you see…”

Damn it, this is frustrating! I quickly retreated in embarrassment.

“I suddenly can’t remember. I’ll let you know later.”

Why is saying one word so difficult!

I clenched my fists and trembled, inwardly feeling frustrated and wanting to hide in a mouse hole.

The maid, not understanding, tilted her head, and soon after smiled kindly, saying to let her know when I remembered. Poppy just looked up at me, staying quiet this time instead of crying loudly.

Anyway, after trying a few more times whenever I had the chance, I somewhat resolved the first question. Although I didn’t understand perfectly, I managed to accept to some degree what it means to ‘cherish connections’.

“Your Highness, you mustn’t overexert yourself!”

“It’s fine. I won’t die.”

Jeff, Hecate, and the maids were worried about me poking around here and there while still recovering. But I disliked just lying down, so I made sure to take walks every morning and afternoon.

‘Hmm, I still haven’t solved the second question.’

What on earth is a life of giving? It doesn’t seem like the answer is simply giving money to the poor. Since that Yongyong fellow urged me about this even while borrowing a squirrel’s body to meet me again, I felt it must be something different.

So I decided to listen to what others wanted from me.

Certainly, except for a few lives as a hunter or beggar, I had only received worship and praise from others since my primordial life, so I was pushed by the expectation that acting oppositely would bring enlightenment.

“Is there anything you’d like to ask of me?”

“Just grow up healthy without getting sick.”

But everyone unanimously wished for easy things, even when I slightly bruised my pride and asked them to make some requests, to the point where I wondered if I was doing it right.

“Daddy, is there anything you want from me?”

“Don’t be a picky eater.”

For example, Jeff said he’d like it if I didn’t hate potato dishes.

“Asian, is there anything you want from me?”

“What I always wish for is Your Highness’s health and safety.”

Jeff’s assistant Asian hoped I would stay safe without getting hurt, and Carlyle asked me to watch his sword practice, which I immediately agreed to that day.

“A request for Your Highness? Then please give us a smile~”

“Seeing our lovely Your Highness smile makes all our fatigue disappear!”

The last people I asked were Miranda and Hayley, and they just asked me to smile. Surprisingly, this was the most difficult.

In any case, after diligently granting requests like this for a while, I felt a sense of achievement after a long time, but decided to stop soon.

There was nothing particularly realized or learned, and I thought there was nothing good about doing it for too long. Moreover, I was losing interest, and doing something that didn’t suit my personality for a long time was torture.

“Your Highness, Lord Lilith has come to see you.”

“Alright.”

Then one day, while I was resting and eating chocolate cake, someone came to visit.

‘What an interruption.’

I want to be alone. I grumbled inwardly and told them to come in.

“Your Highness, although there’s no lesson today, I’ve come specially.”

Lilith walked in with heavy steps, looked closely at my face, and then smirked.

“My, I didn’t know you could draw a mustache with chocolate too.”

“If you came to mock me, leave quickly.”

That’s real! I quickly wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, embarrassed, and made a sullen expression.

“Hehe, how could I just pass by when I heard there’s a fairy in the palace who grants any wish?”

“I don’t particularly want to help you though.”

“Listen first before judging, Your Highness.”

When I showed my anger by hissing, Lilith pulled something out from under her cloak with her signature sly smile and placed it on the table.

Thunk-.

The object was some kind of pouch.

High-quality sky-blue fabric with white floral embroidery – it looked expensive at a glance, as if something valuable was inside.