Seo Hee, who came to the hospital funeral home, found the mourning room by checking the text message from her senior colleague.

The mourning room, where no mourners had yet arrived due to the late hour, had an eerie atmosphere. In the empty corner, a woman in black mourning clothes sat hunched over.

Seo Hee quietly sat down next to her and gently stroked her back.

“I’m here, elder sister.”

Looking at Jae Eun’s pale face, which was lifted weakly, Seo Hee wondered if this was the same person she had met just a few hours ago. She was worried that Jae Eun’s blank, dazed expression meant she had not yet accepted reality.

“Are you okay, elder sister?”

“…Seo Hee.”

Jae Eun’s voice trembled, and tears welled up in her reddened eyes. It would have been better if she could cry her heart out, but it was pitiful to see her trying to swallow her sadness by biting her lips.

“Elder sister, don’t hold back. It’s okay to cry. No matter how much you anticipated this, how can anyone remain indifferent to such a farewell?”

“Seo Hee. Sob.”

As if she had been holding back, a painful sob escaped from Jae Eun. No matter how long one has been ill, no matter how much the hospital tells you to prepare your heart, when the moment finally comes, it is the hardest thing to accept the permanent departure of a family member.

The fact that you can no longer see the face of the person you have lived with, bumped into, and naturally comes to mind like breathing in every corner of your memories, is too great a sorrow and an unparalleled pain.

Even though Seo Hee had already experienced this pain herself, words of comfort did not come easily.

Saying things like “It’s something everyone goes through eventually,” “Just think that they passed away a little early,” or “Time heals all wounds” provided no consolation.

Even after more than a decade since her father’s passing, Seo Hee still tears up at the mere thought of him. Unable to console Jae Eun rashly, all she could do was empathize with her pain, stay by her side, and cry together with her.

Seo Hee gently stroked Jae Eun’s back and spoke quietly.

“Stay strong, elder sister. The chief mourner needs to stay strong. That way, you can send off your father well. Right?”

Jae Eun nodded, wiping the tears from her face.

“I don’t know what to do or how to do anything. Jae Hoon says he’ll take care of everything, but I don’t know what I should do. It’s my dad, but there’s nothing I can do.”

The overwhelming feeling of having to prepare for an unfamiliar farewell was palpable. The sadness of parting was already difficult, and there was no time to compose oneself. This kind of farewell had procedures that were both unfamiliar and complicated, leaving no room to grieve or properly feel the pain of parting.

Drawing from her past experiences, Seo Hee quietly offered the advice she could.

“Elder sister, you just need to stay strong and hold your ground like this. Sunbae will take good care of everything. Let him fulfill his duties as a son-in-law. All you need to do is compose yourself well and greet the mourners who come to pay their respects to your father on his final journey. Just being the chief mourner is overwhelming enough.”

Jae Eun gave a pained smile at Seo Hee’s calm advice, which was unlike a younger sister.

“Even as an adult, I find this so painful and difficult. How did you handle all this at such a young age?”

Seo Hee let out a self-deprecating sigh and gave a pained smile.

“It’s not like I had a choice. I just had to accept it.”

Resignation followed grief. It was a realm beyond my control.

Perhaps because Seo Hee had witnessed the blurred boundaries between life and death from a young age and experienced sudden farewells regardless of age several times, her attitude towards accepting death was slightly different from her peers.

Death was generally unkind to everyone. Without warning or notice, it would abruptly approach, tearing at the heart and bringing despair.

Along with the scent of incense burning somewhere, past memories silently approached the space filled with Jae Eun’s sorrowful sobs.

Before losing her grandparents at a young age and later her middle school homeroom teacher, the word “death” was just a distant story to Seo Hee, a somewhat vague and unfamiliar term.

However, after closely encountering the reality of death, her perspective on death began to change little by little.

When was it? The moment she realized that death might not be an unfamiliar term to her either…

It was probably after experiencing the death of a peer during the summer of her third year in middle school.

On a day when they were taking school exams while battling the scorching heat, a friend from the neighboring class who had disappeared during the exam was found in the school garden, and the school was turned upside down.

Is life so futile? Can it be abandoned in an instant like this? It seemed like the first time she had intensely contemplated the words “life” and “death” together.

In her first year of high school, she had to say goodbye to her father. Although it was a somewhat expected farewell due to his long-term illness, the pain was not lessened in the slightest.

For the chaotic first few days, she remained in a daze without a sense of reality. It was only when she returned home after the three-day funeral that she truly felt the absence of her father and had to endure the excruciating sense of loss.

Not long after her father passed away, her maternal grandmother also passed away due to a chronic illness. The sense of loss at that time was beyond words. Not only for herself but also for her mother, who had to say goodbye to her husband and her own mother in succession.

Death, which took away a person’s sky and light all at once, was so inconsiderate and even cruel.

On a clear autumn afternoon in her second year of high school, when the colorful autumn leaves were beautifully tinted outside the school grounds, she received another piece of sad news. It was about her homeroom teacher from her first year of high school.

The teacher, a healthy middle-aged man in his late 40s, never failed to nag affectionately during class, emphasizing that health comes before studying. The news of the teacher’s traffic accident was a shocking and unbelievable tragedy, especially considering that he was healthy without any underlying diseases.

Moreover, the fact that the teacher had married late and had a young child who had not even started elementary school added to the sorrow.

Death was so ruthless. It could take away the healthy head of a household with a young child overnight.

And the most painful memory of all, the spring of her third year in high school. As Seo Hee recalled the memory of that day, when the spring atmosphere was in full bloom, she hurriedly shook her head to stop her thoughts.

‘No. Stop it. Don’t think about it anymore.’

Despite trying to calm her mind, her eyes inevitably welled up with hot tears.

The series of experiences she had gone through at a young age were enough to change Seo Hee’s common definition of death.

She had thought that once born, one would live a long life, accumulating wisdom over the years, passing through one’s 60th birthday, then 70th, 80th, and even 90th if health permitted, before finally entering eternal rest. But she realized at too young an age how difficult and unrealistic that wish was.

Year after year, witnessing unexpected forks in the road between life and death, Seo Hee’s attitude gradually changed from simply wishing to live an ordinary life.

Don’t take the time given to you for granted. Live each moment with gratitude. Live each day to the fullest as if it were your last, but don’t frantically struggle or agonize over things that don’t work out.

Within the limits of your abilities, acquire the things you want and do the things you desire to your heart’s content. Rather than trying to be well-regarded by others, strive to be someone who can love yourself a little more, someone who harmonizes altruism and self-interest, preparing for the inevitability of death that could come at any time.

Because of that, during her school days, she would sometimes immerse herself in studying like crazy, and when it was time to play, she would have fun with all her might.

When she needed a break, she would boldly go on a trip, and when there was something she wanted to buy, she would be prudent but not hesitate for too long.

In society, rather than seeking recognition from others, she did her best in everything for her own satisfaction. Instead of trying to impress people who disliked or rejected her, she fully enjoyed her time with those who loved and wanted her.

So, even if the unwelcome farewell of death unexpectedly approached one day, living well in a way that minimized regrets as much as possible. That was Seo Hee’s greatest wish.

But now, she wonders if she is actually living up to that wish.

Until now, she had prided herself on making the best efforts and choices at every moment, largely in line with what she had hoped for. But now…

It seems like she is going through the biggest hurdle in her life, which had been relatively uncomplicated.

Han Tae Oh and Lee Kang Mo.

Han Tae Oh, who is still a stranger on paper but is tied to her in the form of family, is someone she wants to get along with for her mother’s sake. However, he is an endlessly uncomfortable and anxious person who keeps trying to cross the line.

If he were a complete stranger, she could coldly cut ties with him and be done with it, but he makes it impossible for her to do either. He is a very difficult person for Seo Hee to deal with.

And Lee Kang Mo, who was her friend’s younger brother. He is Seo Hee’s unavoidable weakness, evoking complex and diverse emotions such as heavy guilt, compassion, and affection whenever she sees him.

It seems that her own boundaries with Kang Mo have already crumbled helplessly, yet she still feels as if something keeps holding her back. Is this really okay? Can we really continue like this? A deep sigh escaped her lips.

These two people remained as Seo Hee’s most challenging homework, as she typically had clear relationships and breakups.

“Jae Eun, Seo Hee.”

The call from her senior colleague, who had finished the funeral preparations and returned, interrupted Seo Hee’s long contemplation.

Quickly wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, Seo Hee stood up, seeing her senior colleague looking at his wife with a pitiful gaze. It seemed like the couple needed some time alone.

“You’ve worked hard, Sunbae. I’ll go to the convenience store for a moment.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Seo Hee.”

Seo Hee lightly bade farewell to her senior with her eyes and quietly left the room.