Lily, I Wish I Was Your Lover - Chapter 36

“You’re very late.”

Lily startled and turned her head when she heard a man’s voice in the dark room with no lights on. Then she saw Fredrick Benjamin sitting on the bed. He was dressed perfectly as if ready to go out. The buttons done up to his neck looked a bit stuffy.

Naturally thinking no one would be there, her initial surprise at the sudden voice faded and was replaced by irritation and a sigh. Lily frowned and asked somewhat nervously:

“What are you doing in someone else’s room without even turning on the lights?”

Fredrick stood up with a chuckle and lit the candle on the nightstand. The soft candlelight mingled with the light coming through the still open door, pushing back some of the darkness in the bedroom.

“Is this better now?”

“No, it’s not. Please leave my room immediately.”

Lily pointed at the door with her finger, demanding bluntly. Of course, she didn’t think Fredrick would listen to her. The fact that he had been waiting in an empty bedroom for her uncertain return meant he had something important to say.

So hoping he would say what he needed to say and disappear quickly, she said that, but Fredrick approached the door without saying anything.

Thinking he must have had something important to say to wait, but now wasn’t? Watching Fredrick’s movements in bewilderment, Lily’s eyes widened as he closed the door.

“What are you doing now…”

Click, the sound of the door locking echoed widely in the bedroom engulfed again in darkness. There was a candle lit on the nightstand, but it was small and only illuminated the immediate area. It was so dark around Lily and Fredrick that they could barely see each other’s faces a few steps away.

Meanwhile, clearly feeling Fredrick’s piercing gaze on her, Lily reached out to open the door again, suddenly frightened. But Fredrick intercepted and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from achieving what she wanted.

Fredrick pulled on Lily’s wrist and embraced her. Lily’s expression hardened as she was suddenly held in his arms. While Herald’s embrace had been warm and cozy, her husband’s embrace felt terrible, like sinking into a muddy swamp.

“Let go!”

Lily cried out in horror and tried to escape, but couldn’t due to the two arms tightly gripping her waist. Still, she didn’t give up and struggled wildly to get away somehow. As a result, her bonnet came off and her neatly braided hair became disheveled.

“Let, let go I said!”

As Lily resisted so violently that even his glasses nearly came off, Fredrick grabbed both her arms and pushed her against the wall.

Thump, Lily swallowed a groan of pain as her back hit the wall hard and glared at Fredrick. Though the bedroom was still dark, they were close enough to clearly see each other’s faces.

“What are you doing now?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t want to know.”

“My, I didn’t realize my wife was this innocent.”

Fredrick burst out laughing as if he found the current situation amusing and leaned his face in even closer. Lily’s cheeks flushed bright red at the excessively close distance. It was due to shame, not shyness or anything like that. Lily shouted even more sharply:

“Stop this crazy nonsense and get away from me right now!”

“Crazy nonsense?”

Fredrick’s lips curved up crookedly on one side.

“Why is this crazy nonsense? It’s something perfectly natural between a married couple.”

Who was it that first abandoned that relationship, and now he’s spouting this nonsense? Lily glared at Fredrick with an incredulous expression and spat out:

“Maybe for a normal married couple, but not for you and me. You’re the one who drew that line first. So why are you trying to do this now?”

“It’s not just now. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“You’ve been… thinking about it?”

“Yes. Even if we’re an abnormal couple, we’re still married… and above all, I thought it would be good to start having a child soon.”

At one time, Lily loved children so much that her dream was to have several kids and build a harmonious, close-knit family, living peacefully with her husband.

But not Fredrick’s child. More precisely, she hated the process required to make a child. Just the thought of having to do that while pressing bare skin against this man made her nauseous and disgusted. Lily twisted her wrist in Fredrick’s grip and shouted:

“Not me. I have no intention of making a child with you!”

“Then who will you pass on the Viscount Benjamin title to?”

Fredrick inserted his knee between Lily’s legs to prevent her from resisting and pressed his body even closer.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning to pass on the family name to a child descended from that man you had dinner with tonight?”

“…!”

Lily looked at Fredrick in shock that he knew facts she hadn’t even mentioned, then immediately scrunched up all her facial muscles in a frown.

“You… don’t tell me you’ve been following me?”

“That’s not what’s important right now, dear.”

As Fredrick leaned his face in close and his breath spread over her lips, Lily’s green eyes filled with shame and fear.

“What’s important is that you’re trying to pass on the Viscount Benjamin title to a child you have with another man. While your husband is right here.”

“I have… no such intentions.”

“I wonder. If only I could believe a woman’s words.”

Due to the extremely close distance, Lily could feel even the breath Fredrick exhaled as he laughed. Her body trembled uncontrollably as fear of what might be done to her swallowed even her sense of shame.

But Lily didn’t cry or beg him to let her go. That would be too pathetic. Not wanting to beg this man who had trampled on her dreams and heart and was now trying to trample her body, she bit her lip hard and glared at Fredrick with all her might.

“…”

Ironically, Lily’s actions stimulated the man’s desire to conquer. Fredrick’s eyes darkened as he stared at her swollen lips from biting them so hard. He wanted to possess her. He wanted to ruthlessly trample those impudent eyes and fill them with pleading and despair.

If you want to do it, just do it. What reason is there not to between a married couple? Fredrick lowered his lips that had curved up smoothly.

“…!”

Realizing Fredrick was trying to kiss her, Lily turned her head sharply in horror. She wanted to express her refusal more roughly and clearly, but with her hands and feet completely restrained, this was all she could do to resist right now.

But even this method was useless. No matter how much Lily turned her head to avoid it, Fredrick persistently pursued, and just as their lips were about to meet, there was a knock at the door.

“…”

At this, Fredrick hesitated and the strength in his hands gripping her wrists weakened slightly. Lily didn’t miss this opportunity and quickly pulled her hands free. Then she pushed Fredrick’s chest away with all her might using her newly freed hands. She worried it wouldn’t work, but fortunately Fredrick was pushed back.

This was the only chance to escape, but sadly her weakened legs wouldn’t move as she willed. Even if they did move, it was impossible to flee outside. Because Fredrick had been pushed right in front of the door.

But she couldn’t just sit still like this, so Lily crawled on her hands instead of her legs. Fredrick smirked, amused by her desperately trying to get away from him with all her strength.

Knock knock―

“Sir.”

When Fredrick didn’t answer, the other person knocked again and called out. It was Robert, his secretary and assistant.

“What is it?”

Fredrick asked in a calm tone as if nothing had happened, and picked up his glasses that had fallen on the floor. One arm of the glasses was missing, perhaps broken when Lily had resisted. Though he didn’t wear them because his eyesight was bad and it didn’t matter if he couldn’t wear them right away, he felt a bit upset that his favorite glasses were broken.

“Lady Lambert is urgently looking for you, sir.”

At the subsequent report, Fredrick’s hand stopped as he was fiddling with the broken glasses frame. Lady Lambert was a noblewoman Fredrick had been working on recently due to export issues.

But she had been reluctant to give in, giving him a headache, so her seeking him out first was a good sign. Even if it wasn’t a good sign, it was right to rush over immediately.

Yes. That was certainly the right thing to do, but why did he not want to go?

As he was staring at the broken glasses with narrowed eyes, feeling an incomprehensible emotion, Fredrick suddenly heard rough breathing and turned his head.

Lily, who had by now crawled under the dressing table, was tightly gripping a paper knife in her trembling hand. Fredrick laughed at her sharp demeanor, as if she would stab him if he approached.

The paper knife was sharp enough to cut paper, but not enough to stab a person. At most it could slightly cut the skin.

Of course, if applied with great force it could inflict a fatal wound, but those thin arms couldn’t possibly have such strength. Her hands were shaking too much. It was laughable that she was trying to threaten him by brandishing a paper knife.

Fredrick thought Lily’s situation was just like that paper knife. Only having enough power to slightly cut the skin, yet acting up as if it could stab. The resemblance was uncanny. Not threatening, but just as irritating and annoying as when skin gets cut.

“A maid sent by Lady Lambert is waiting for your answer in the hall, sir.”

“Tell her I’ll be there shortly. Ask her to relay the same message to Lady Lambert.”

“Yes, sir.”

As the conversation with Robert concluded, Fredrick approached Lily.