I found the answer, but I still couldn’t understand. Unable to speak, Herald kept his mouth tightly shut.

“Why… are you silent?”

Lily asked worriedly. Urged to answer quickly, Herald looked at her for a moment and then asked back.

“Why do you think I did that?”

“That’s……”

It seemed she had a reason in mind, since she was about to say something instead of answering ‘I don’t know.’

“What comes after ‘that’s’? I’d like you to continue what you were going to say.”

As Herald persistently pressed on, curious about what thoughts led her to send him a letter, Lily bit her lips nervously and replied with a sulky voice.

“…I think I asked the question first.”

“Do you want to hear my answer?”

“I do.”

As Lily answered as if she really wanted him to speak, Herald shrugged his shoulders and replied nonchalantly.

“I did it because I wanted to see you.”

Though the words he uttered were not like that at all. Despite being the reason she so desperately wanted to hear, upon actually hearing it, her green eyes trembled like aspen leaves in shock. Lily opened her even more trembling lips slowly and asked.

“You wanted to see me… even though you knew I was married?”

“Is that not allowed?”

When Herald asked back as if he truly didn’t understand what was wrong, Lily squeezed her eyes shut. It was behavior that went against common sense, but strangely, she didn’t dislike it. Rather, she envied how he freely expressed his emotions without being bound by such things.

“…No, it’s not.”

But nothing changed. Her resolve to end this unforgivable relationship remained unchanged, so Lily opened her eyes again and looked straight at Herald as she continued speaking.

“As you already know, I’m married. Meeting like this… it’s not right. It’s an inappropriate relationship. So let’s stop here.

Her small hands, neatly placed on her knees, tensed up. Lily suppressed the emotions welling up inside her and spoke as calmly as possible.

“The reason I responded to your letter and am sitting here is to settle our misguided relationship. I was going to write it all out in the letter… but after all the help I’ve received from you, that didn’t seem courteous, so I came out. So…”

Lily, who had been trying to convey only her thoughts plainly without emotion, paused when Herald suddenly held out a handkerchief.

“Wipe them.”

Wipe what?

“Ah!”

The question mark turned into an exclamation mark in an instant. Only then realizing she had been crying, Lily hurriedly took the handkerchief and wiped her tears. She felt extremely embarrassed and ashamed for having said such things while shedding tears.

What made her even more flustered was that the tears wouldn’t stop. Rather, now that she was aware of them, they poured out even more, quickly soaking the handkerchief.

“I didn’t mean to cry. But why I’m crying, I don’t know. Why, why am I crying?”

Feeling like she had to say something, Lily opened her mouth, but such poor excuses came out that she thought it might have been better not to speak at all. Meanwhile, the tears continued to fall without stopping, making her feel like she was going crazy.

As she buried her face in the wet handkerchief and cried endlessly, a low voice was heard.

“Do you dislike meeting with me?”

She should have answered yes. Knowing that she needed to reply that meeting with him was uncomfortable in order to end this inappropriate relationship, Lily still shook her head.

The reason was simple. This was her true feelings. The desire to be with him kept clouding her reason.

“Then perhaps you’re worried about your reputation? Are you trying to end it because you’re afraid people will point fingers and gossip if rumors spread about our inappropriate relationship?”

“…It’s not that.”

Because her reputation was already at rock bottom. I had no further to fall, but this man was different.

“What I’m worried about is you. Because nothing good can come from associating with a woman like me, it will surely only have a negative impact on your reputation…”

Herald, who had somehow moved closer, took her hand that was tightly gripping the handkerchief, startling Lily and making her look up.

“There’s no need to worry about my reputation. I’ll take care of it myself.”

Herald wiped away the tears gathered in Lily’s eyes and continued in a gentle tone.

“You just need to think about whether you want to be with me.”

Though his tone was gentle, the golden eyes looking at Lily were frighteningly serious and deep.

“Lily, if you wish, I’ll gladly become your lover.”

“You’re saying my wife is seeing another man.”

Fredrick let out a bitter laugh upon hearing unexpected news from the informant he had placed on Lily, just in case. He never dreamed that of all people, Liliana Benjamin would have an affair.

She was foolishly innocent and old-fashioned. Even though it was a loveless political marriage, she couldn’t understand meeting someone of the opposite sex other than her spouse.

Yet hearing that Lily was meeting another man made him feel perplexed and ominous, because of Lily’s appearance he had seen in the morning. Her attire, which anyone could see was carefully put together, was as fresh and lovely as a young girl who had just awakened to love.

‘Could it be that she’s in love with that man?’

That would be troublesome. Fredrick’s brows furrowed. He could understand having an affair simply for a change of mood, but love was different. Having often seen foolish people throw everything away for love, he felt a bit displeased.

Of course, given Lily’s personality, she wouldn’t abandon her mother and choose love, but one could never be too sure. Just as he thought she would never have an affair, yet she was meeting another man, she might make an insane choice blinded by love.

For instance, asking for a divorce.

As his thoughts reached that point, Fredrick’s eyes darkened.

“Divorce is absolutely not an option.”

Even if it were to be mentioned, he should be the one to say it, not her demanding it first. That was absolutely unacceptable.

It was even more unacceptable if divorcing wouldn’t benefit him.

“I’ll have to check.”

Feeling the need to confirm whether it was love or simply entertainment, Fredrick stopped what he was doing and left the trading company.

On the way back to the Benjamin Viscount’s residence in a public carriage.

Lily leaned her head against the shaking carriage wall, looking down at the floor with unfocused eyes. She had declined his offer to escort her to the mansion and boarded the carriage alone, but his voice kept ringing in her ears as if he were beside her.

Especially the words that he would gladly become her lover if she wished, echoing in her mind like a refrain.

Lover. A word she had despised terribly, yet when Herald said it, it sounded more beautiful and sweet than any other word in the world. Like sailors bewitched by a siren’s beautiful voice about to throw themselves into the sea, Lily almost did the same, but barely managed to hold back.

But she hadn’t refused either. While reason screamed to reject immediately, her true feelings clamored to accept quickly, so Lily couldn’t say anything and remained still. Herald didn’t urge her, even though she must have seemed frustrating. He just looked at her with a generous face, as if he could wait forever.

“…I need time to think.”

After pondering for a long while, Lily finally gave an ambiguous answer. This time too, Herald didn’t say anything, just nodded with a smile as if he understood everything.

“I’ll wait until your thoughts are sorted out.”

On the surface it seemed like kind consideration, but to Lily’s eyes, it looked as if he was confident that she would surely choose him.

In other words, it meant he knew her heart, so Lily couldn’t look him straight in the face until she boarded the public carriage. Because of this, she couldn’t even say a proper goodbye.

In the meantime, she had said she would wash the handkerchief clean and return it.

Lily took out the handkerchief she had carefully tucked into her inner sleeve pocket. The handkerchief, which looked as if someone had painstakingly embroidered it, was miserably wet from the tears she had shed.

Was telling that man to stop meeting, to end the relationship, such a sad thing?

“I don’t know.”

It was frustrating that she couldn’t get a grasp on her own heart. Lily sighed deeply as she fiddled with the wet handkerchief. When returning this handkerchief, she would have to give the answer she couldn’t give today, but she wondered if she could actually do it. She didn’t even know how to answer.

In fact, the answer was already set. It was just that the wicked heart that had grown in size was covering her mouth, preventing her from speaking.

Is it really a wicked heart?

At the sudden doubt, Lily squeezed her eyes shut and covered her ears with both hands. But the question ringing in her head didn’t disappear.

Others, even Fredrick, have lovers, so why can’t you? What’s wrong? Why is it a wicked heart?

No, this wasn’t a question but the devil’s whisper. Lily shook her head vigorously, trying to shake off the devil’s whisper tempting her with sweet words.

Meanwhile, the carriage had diligently traveled and arrived at the Benjamin Viscount’s residence. Wanting to wash in warm water and rest on a soft bed, Lily hurried towards her bedroom.

As she was climbing the stairs, Lily felt the pouring gazes and stopped on the landing. Grasping the railing and looking around, she saw servants whispering while looking at her.

She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but judging by their expressions, it didn’t seem to be anything good. Not that they would have anything good to say about her anyway.

It was a common occurrence for servants to speak ill of Lily. It should have been like an ordinary, unremarkable daily event, but today it felt particularly unsettling, so Lily stared down at them. The servants then cleared their throats and scattered in all directions.

Is there really something going on? Or is it just my imagination? Her curiosity was resolved after arriving at her bedroom.