My Insolent Shadow (22 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 5
An heir of Blanchet and a commoner girl are not even permitted to share the same space, let alone breathe the same air.
It was something my mother in the capital always said—Elise de Blanchet.
She who had abandoned the Esteban name to become Lady Blanchet presented a dignified face to the world.
But beneath that surface, there was always a dark side.
Whenever the topic of common women came up, she would burst out as if having a fit.
She called them women who didn’t know their place.
She especially despised their Cinderella stories, reacting with even greater fervor.
Her reasoning was simple: from the beginning of time, the only reason lowly things stuck to noble people was one and only one.
Well, she wasn’t entirely wrong.
After all, young beauties who clung to old men decades their senior were mostly of low birth, and their motives were clear.
Thus, I shouldn’t even be allowed to exchange words with that girl.
But since I’m no longer the heir—just a dying patient with little time left—it’s acceptable.
Here in Alphonse, far from the capital, I can cast off the Blanchet name.
I’ll soon discard that troublesome armor called “Blanchet” along with my life anyway.
Isn’t that reason enough to indulge in a trinket to adorn my final days?
Would my remaining life become slightly more amusing if I seized that girl’s desperation in one hand and toyed with her?
Such vulgar, absurd thoughts even cross my mind.
That girl boldly declared she came here for money.
I find myself wishing someone would weep for me at my death.
And if that someone were her, it wouldn’t be half bad.
If she wailed before my death with that burning desire to save her own mother, wouldn’t that make a rather pleasing picture?
If she remembers me for the rest of her life with that same trembling—shaking even her hands—it wouldn’t be half bad, either.
I know it’s terribly selfish and self-centered, but so what?
I’m a patient, and she’s a commoner who committed the crime of offending a patient’s mood.
She’s a common-born girl who was born guilty from the very start.
For the first time since receiving my death sentence, a smile bloomed on my lips.
While planning for the next day—the day I wished would disappear.
[This is the timeline separator]Before sunrise, in the hushed dawn as pitch-black darkness slowly settled.
After checking once on my sleeping mother, I quietly smoothed the blankets and stepped outside.
Yesterday, as always, Mother had prepared kabocha squash soup—mine noticeably richer, hers on the other side watery.
Her heart always leaned this way—wanting to give even the slightest bit better to her only daughter.
It was invisible, yet completely obvious.
A quick stir blended it into a decent-looking consistency.
I’d even swapped the bowls once.
But Mother, Jane—who was otherwise oblivious to everything—somehow always noticed this with uncanny precision.
After gazing at the adequately thickened soup, I carefully covered it, pushed open the worn-out door, and tried to slip out.
Careful to minimize the clatter of metal, I stepped outside—only to be caught by Mother again.
How she noticed despite my caution, I’ll never know.
As I sighed, she approached and handed me the kabocha soup.
“Eat this before you go.”
I almost snapped at her to just go back to sleep instead of wasting time like this, but held back.
Her hoarse voice softened my heart.
“I told you not to come out.”
“How can I, when my only daughter suffers because of me? You’ve had it hard just because you got the wrong mother.”
“There’s no such thing.”
When I erupted in frustration, she gently smiled, saying she’d spoken nonsense.
Her expression pressed on my heart again, and I tried to apologize—but the words wouldn’t come.
While I hesitated, she wrapped a scarf around my neck, her face as clear and calm as ever, as if nothing mattered.
It was a scarf I’d never seen before—woven from lamb’s wool. Lamb’s wool was expensive, a luxury item.
“You’re not going somewhere again while I’m away, are you?”
“No, not at all.”
Her startled reaction confirmed I was right.
Mother always trembled slightly at the corners of her eyes whenever she lied.
Watching this helpless woman struggle through a lie she couldn’t even tell properly weighed on me with guilt—I was the one who made her this way.
“The last doctor said you absolutely mustn’t go out in the cold.”
“I’m not doing anything like that.”
I knew she’d never listen, no matter what I said.
She’d always been this way—a woman who’d do anything for me.
A fragile giant—endowed with a strong will but denied the strong body to match.
Knowing more words would only hurt my throat, I resigned myself and pretended to believe her lie.
Of course, I wasn’t entirely resigned.
After all, this town was small enough.
That meant I knew exactly where Mother worked—as clearly as my own palm.
Most likely at Laclivet Auntie’s fish shop or Uncle Thomson’s dessert shop.
Those were the only places where someone in her condition could still work.
I’d have to go to them and beg them to let her go.
But seeing Mother’s proud face made me wonder if that was truly right—leaving me feeling distant and lost.
In the midst of this, Mother let out a hacking cough.
Knowing she wouldn’t leave until I finished eating, I had no choice but to push her back inside and gulp down the soup in big swallows.
I didn’t even forget to quickly rinse the plate, fearing she might touch it again.
As I stepped outside, Mother’s figure shimmered faintly in the distance.
Even as I gestured for her to go back in, she kept waving—her arms fluttering like a paper doll.
What a foolish woman.
With nothing else I could do but hurry, I quickened my pace.
Until Mother shrank to a dot in the distance and vanished from sight.
Only then did I exhale heavily and head toward the long, straight avenue lined with noble estates.
In the tranquil hour when crimson light—like twilight—slowly stained the earth.
As always, treading through that time led me to familiar alleyways, and at their end, the docks.
The path to Liordeen Fish Shop had grown so familiar my feet moved on their own.
The moment Mother disappeared from view, yesterday’s memories—which I’d tried so hard to avoid—flooded back like a tide.
The terminally ill Young Master, whispering like a demon with an angel’s pure, pale face.
Me, standing humiliated before him.
His indifferent gaze and clear dismissal.
The icy air in that room and the scorching heat spreading over my lips.
The shame searing into my skin……
When I said I’d come just to scavenge something, he probably never considered how I felt.
I thought I was fine—but I wasn’t.
Not when the scene replayed like a nightmare throughout my dreams all of yesterday.
Each time, he sneered, called me unconvincing, and coldly ignored me.
Was it because he was around my age? Or because facing someone so extraordinary for the first time crushed my pitch-black pride?
Ordinary scenes I’d normally brush off kept replaying in my mind.
Now that I’d been chased away like that, would Aunt Mary scold me?
Just as I was about to step into the fish shop, tangled in such damp thoughts—
An adult wearing Alphonse’s ornate crest caught my eye—blocking the entrance so thoroughly I couldn’t avoid seeing him.
Dressed in noble silk utterly out of place in this alley, I looked up and recognized the face immediately.
‘The butler?’
He was unmistakably the same butler who’d brought me to Cassian Di Blanchet yesterday.
‘Why is he here?’
It was unthinkable that the Young Master—who’d made me stand for hours—would send for me again.
Had I made some mistake yesterday?
Was he here to interrogate me?
The more I mulled it over, the paler my mind grew. I stopped thinking and looked up at him.
“What brings you here…?”
Despite trying to sound composed, my voice trembled like a goat’s bleat.
The butler’s ambiguous glance made me swallow hard.
But then—
“I’ve been ordered to bring you.”
His utterly unexpected words left me momentarily dazed—as if a thick fog had settled over my brain.
“Me?”
“Yes. You are to continue serving as the Young Master’s attendant.”
I looked at him, wondering if he was joking—but his expression was entirely serious.
In fact, his face was filled with clear discomfort, as if he deeply resented having to do this.
Indeed, only a madman would come all the way to this mismatched, insignificant alley just to fetch me.
It must be true—the detestable Young Master truly ordered me brought back.
After sending me away so harshly yesterday—why?
I couldn’t fathom his intentions, but either way, my answer was the same.
“I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible.”
I’d assumed I’d been dismissed, and on my way back yesterday, I’d already found new work.
“I’ve agreed to work here.”
Though the wages at Alphonse Manor were tempting, I couldn’t risk my reputation in this village or go somewhere I might be dismissed again at any moment.
Honestly, even without that, I had no intention whatsoever of returning to where that man was.
Now that I thought about it, there were other places to work besides that house, and this winter could still be survived.
No—truth be told, that was all excuse. I simply didn’t want to go back there.
Not to that suffocating, sweltering place where even cold seasons burned.
And yet—
“That won’t be an issue.”
“What?”
“We’ve already arranged to take you.”
His utterly preposterous statement left me speechless.
No matter that they were servants of the Lord’s household—this was going too far.
To announce it as a done deal without even considering my will!
The fishmonger, who’d just appeared, immediately sealed the matter.
“I’m sorry, El.”
“Uncle…”
“You’ll be better off at Alphonse Manor than here, won’t you?”
Though he sounded genuinely apologetic, he clearly thought I’d landed a better position.
Shouts from inside called urgently for him.
Since he’d abruptly decided to hand me over, he’d likely have to do double his usual work today.
The fact that he accepted this burden confirmed Alphonse had paid him handsomely.
Clenching my fists, I heard the butler speak once more.
“Then let’s go.”
His assumption that I’d naturally comply irritated me.
Money usually didn’t bother me—but when it involved that Young Master, everything somehow twisted into something unrecognizable. It felt unlike me.
Again, I reacted emotionally.
“Is it always like this?”
The butler hesitated briefly, then scanned me silently.
And then he said—
“We’ll double your wages.”
He still carried himself with the same certainty that I’d accept.
Though more formal than before, his hostility was evident—and even that formality felt oddly forced, unnatural.
That confirmed it—all of this was that damn Young Master’s order.
He paid my share of wages to the uncle, doubled my salary, and demanded I be brought back?
It was unbelievable—such a stark contrast to those cold, crimson eyes from yesterday.
What on earth was that Young Master thinking?
‘Does he think he’s found an amusing toy?’
Recalling the intrigued curl of his lips, it seemed likely.
To him, spending this much on a toy was nothing—though to me, it was a costly price.
I had no choice but to accept this deceptively sweet offer.
The doubled sum the butler mentioned held me by the ankle.
That money wouldn’t just cover Mother’s medicine—it would leave some left over.
It might even let me buy Reberu herbs—something I’d never dared attempt before.
Though how long it would last, I couldn’t say.
Of course, that was only if I managed to endure successfully.
Still, as always, my shame was instantly drowned by desperation.
“I’ll go.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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Damnnnnn why is this so interesting am I a masochist for liking this haha
I feel like the young master is probably going to get her back one way
I feel bad for Hael, he likes her so much but I feel like it’s hard for the FL to return that type of love