I felt something was off from the moment I entered the room.
It was hard to even guess why the man I’d been meeting mostly outside lately called me to this hotel today.
I was afraid. Wondering if there had been some change in his feelings.
But one statement from the man seemed to explain everything.
‘Engagement. An engagement……’
The man’s expression was so indifferent that it was even harder to believe.
My stunned mind, as if hit by a hammer, stopped the flow of thought.
As if time had stopped.
I didn’t know how I had endured until coming here after Lady Fiochel’s visit.
Whenever I saw my supervisor’s empty seat, Lady Fiochel’s words came to mind.
My supervisor, who had searched for that person for so long, staking her life, lost her destination right before the finish line.
Lady Baorbin lost her fortune, her daughter, and her purpose in life.
And all of it happened because of me.
Whenever I tried to think, my stomach twisted on its own and nausea surged.
If I could undo everything by giving up, would I have done so?
I asked myself this question countless times.
But then, when I returned to the lodgings and saw my mother, a new resolve would form above that.
That I could never give up anything.
That’s how I lived each day. No, I survived.
But the topic I tried so hard to avoid always comes back like a boomerang to strike my head.
Does his direct mention of getting engaged mean I’m being cast aside now?
Could it be that he’s trying to abandon me, as Lady Fiochel said?
I believed her words couldn’t be true.
But him saying such things in front of me……
Even in this situation, his expressionless face, just like on any night he held me, is only laughable.
Well, I suppose he can be like that since I was nothing to him.
Is he going to say he’s going to end things?
When there’s so little time left.
Please, just don’t abandon me for that period. That’s all I can hope for now.
Ridiculous.
“When… are you doing it?”
[This is the timeline separator]The woman’s question is only laughable.
How do you never deviate from expectations even a little?
More important than the fact of the engagement, your eyes are filled not with sadness, but only fear wavering in them.
I knew it, but this makes me sick.
Pandora’s box, which would have been better left unchecked, always leads to tragedy and ruin as usual.
“In a month.”
Bewilderment colors the woman’s emerald eyes as they waver.
“But in the news it’s not yet……”
“You think all the private affairs of noble families are reported?”
“……”
“My, it seems you underestimate the power of Blanchet.”
I mock the woman with a smirk.
With a vile and pitch-black heart.
But so what. That’s the same for both me and this woman.
“Ah, of course, you’ll have time to prepare for the farewell.”
At my words pronouncing our parting, the woman’s already pale face turns even more ashen.
I really feel like I’ve become a bastard.
Such a bastard act, as much as you want. I who am already a bastard in your eyes can do this much.
“We were too intense to not take some time, weren’t we?”
Yes, too intense indeed.
For a relationship that shouldn’t mix, like oil and water.
“The wedding will be in four months. You’ll have until then.”
Four months. The time until the woman’s birth mother is declared fully recovered.
In other words, this woman will receive all the medicine from me.
Whether I get married or do whatever else.
The woman’s pale face changes ambiguously.
“What should I do then?”
“Will you do exactly as I say?”
The woman’s resolute face without crying irritates me.
You should cry when I say I’m getting engaged.
Saying you love me.
You should have told me not to do it.
When the person you love gets engaged to another woman, you shouldn’t have that kind of relieved expression.
Even if it’s after you’ve received all the medicine from me.
Even if it’s that day when you no longer need any medicine I give.
You shouldn’t have had that kind of relieved expression.
Like a thorn stuck under a fingernail, this woman always gnaws at me inside.
“Try to hold on.”
“…Pardon?”
“If you hold on, will I be caught?”
“……”
“They say even God grants earnest wishes.”
The woman’s eyes waver aimlessly. Like someone who heard something completely unexpected.
Yes. You, whose heart was already parting from the beginning, would find it unexpected to be told to hold on.
The woman hesitates, her lips moving silently.
But then her eyes are calm again. As if she’s sorted out her thoughts.
I can’t help but laugh at whether this is a matter that can be resolved by thinking.
“What will you do if I try to hold on?”
The woman who should be begging me to hold on speaks as if relieved.
“Will you run away with me?”
“If I do.”
The woman’s eyes waver deeply, stirring.
This too is a reaction to something unexpected. Then, written on her smiling face is:
Don’t say such nonsense.
Yes, that kind of imagination wouldn’t dare exist in that small head of yours.
Soon, a calm tone that fills the space evenly wets my ears.
“I have no desire to become an impurity between the two of you.”
The woman’s eyes waver with me reflected in them.
“You and I are not a match that can go together.”
There isn’t a single emotion in those low-saturation dark green eyes.
“I was prepared for everything. So… when that time comes, I’ll disappear for you. As if I never existed from the beginning.”
The woman’s eyelids… were calm without even the slightest tremor.
Yes. Now I know for certain.
This woman never loved me even once from the beginning.
[This is the timeline separator]After that day, the frequency with which the man sought me out increased.
Those nights were hotter and more painful than previous nights.
For some reason, why it was like that, I couldn’t even think to ask the reason.
Because I knew he wouldn’t tell me the reason anyway.
I could only guess that he, like other nobles enjoying their last indulgence in the most vicious way before marriage, was doing the same.
Occasionally, when the man’s inscrutable gaze lingered on me for a long time, some indescribable emotion would stir, but…
That was all.
The relationship between me and that man would only go that far.
He would use me for as long as he needed, and I would simply move as he wished.
Though it may not appear so on the surface, it was a relationship where both our insides were filled with ash.
It had been that way from the beginning, and that fact would remain unchanged afterwards.
No, it had to remain unchanged.
At least until this contract ended.
Until that man’s wedding was over.
The marks etched like imprints all over my body occasionally evoked memories, but soon it became a natural part of daily life.
The busy daily routine and swirling whirlwind took away just that much thought of that man.
The project lost its sponsorship, and my supervisor who always came to the administrative office early in the morning no longer showed her face.
The occasional news of Lady Baorbin’s situation was only bleak.
Thanks to organizing her documents and moving busily over the past several days, we were able to safely complete Lady Baorbin’s application for rehabilitation.
Based on the perfectly submitted documents, the imperial judge recognized that there was no intentionality in her fraudulent acts, and the lady avoided the worst.
However, even so, it didn’t mean Lady Baorbin could regain her former reputation and prestige.
She only avoided the worst; she lost much of her fortune because of me.
When she came to me, unaware of this fact, took my hand and shed hot tears, and said thank you, an indescribable sense of guilt arose.
When everything happened because of me.
My inability to say anything in front of her was only abhorrent.
Whether fortunate or unfortunate, there was a mountain of work to do, and I couldn’t dwell long on my guilt towards her.
The research team lost the project due to the suspended research, and the deputy director raised the level of pressure day by day, telling me to find a sponsor.
It was natural for him to say so, as it was an important matter for promotion.
My supervisor was now haggard and pale, unable to handle any work.
Apologizing and running here and there to find a new sponsor became routine.
However, it was difficult to find another sponsor at a point when the only sponsor from long ago had disappeared.
Still, someday all this would be alright too.
Someday… I would find a sponsor to replace Lady Baorbin and resolve everything that way.
Holding onto such hope, I flip through the list again and again.
Pushing aside complicated thoughts as best I can.
Then my feet, moving out of habit, reached the administrative office as usual.
I stopped abruptly at the end when I heard my supervisor’s voice.
“What are you trying to say now?”
It felt somewhat awkward to see her conversing here, as she was usually cautious about letting others into the administrative office.
Moreover, her voice was cracked as usual, but strangely sounded different.
‘Who could she be with…’
For a moment, another person’s voice leaked out from behind the door.
“Since you don’t seem to understand, let me say it simply.”
“……”
“Yuriel, if you drive that woman out, I’ll sponsor that project you’ve been preparing for so long.”
“…!”
Male lead reborn without memories — but he still falls for her.
The person he finds displeasing in this life turns out to be his cherished wife-master in previous life…
Xie Zhi and Fang Xianxing who had known each other for less than three days through a blind date sat in the same car in front of the civil affairs bureau. They had a disagreement and failed to get married.
Xie Zhi immediately took out his phone, slid through his contacts, and randomly selected the next marriage candidate.
The woman snatched his phone and hung up. Looking at his phone wallpaper, she awkwardly changed the subject: “An ancient painting, eh? It looks pretty good, it’s just that the person in the painting looks a bit like me.”
When he heard this, he sarcastically mocked her for being so delusional, completely unaware that, the person in front of him was the reincarnation of Wen Ru, the famous prime minister of Yuan Shun whom he most admired…
The female CEO who doesn’t want to get married with a divorce agreement in hand × The male archaeological researcher who will only get married if he’s sure he can get divorced
