“Mother won’t be able to forgive, right?”

A long-standing smile spread across Jane’s lips.

“But you know… Mom… will receive the punishment alongside you. And she will beg.”

Her clear eyes shone beautifully even in the sunlight.

“To let her receive that punishment instead of you.”

According to a verse in some scripture, the karma of all those who commit dirty acts will return, so I will probably receive the price of my black heart.

My heart sinks.

For fear that mother might pay the price I should pay.

For fear that that clear smile might fade away.

But I couldn’t bring myself to voice those feelings.

For fear that I might appear like a thief with numb feet in mother’s eyes.

Mother quietly observed my appearance.

“But why are you asking such things? It’s not like that will happen.”

Right. It shouldn’t.

Such things shouldn’t happen.

“Just because.”

Mother smiled, saying it was trivial talk, and began talking about the trip while knitting.

She was visibly excited about their first trip together.

Upon hearing the destination, mother said it reminded her of old times and shared various stories.

Just as that doctor said, if it’s really effective, mother’s stories included tales about father that I had never heard before.

As I repeated the phrase ‘Just like today, which is like magic’, time flowed as usual.

After warming our stomachs with a modest but warm meal, I dozed off and woke to find mother sitting beside me.

It had been a long time since I saw mother sleeping with a smile.

Today too, after moving the pile of blankets covering me to cover mother, I moved to the table.

There were several steps to take for the trip.

After writing the necessary permit for the vacation and finishing various preparations, I closed the documents, and underneath was the envelope Lady Fiocele had given me.

The still rough texture of the envelope pains my heart.

After moving it to a cabinet that I rarely open in daily life, I locked it right away.

Of course, I know that even if I don’t use this, there’s no way to return it.

Lady Fiocele would never take this money back.

Nevertheless, leaving it there was like a last act of defiance.

My face was reflected in the mirror above it.

The smile had disappeared, replaced by a faded light like burnt-out ashes.

My supervisor, who often habitually asked why I didn’t take vacations, took away the submitted documents for the vacation and didn’t return them.

Saying he would take care of it and not to even think about coming back early.

That wasn’t just a simple statement.

The vacation certificate issued to me as I left the Imperial Palace for the last time had a period of up to a week written on it.

What I had applied for was only two days.

While administrative officers using holidays is not generally criticized in principle, supervisors didn’t like their subordinates using all their holidays at once.

The reason was that if they got into bad habits, they would want more and more in the future.

Well, there were actually new recruits who abused this and submitted vacation requests during the busiest times like opportunists, so it wasn’t a problem to blame anyone.

I thought about taking the documents back and asking what this was about, but knowing what my supervisor would say, I just turned and left.

In fact, I also wanted to see mother’s excited appearance from the morning for longer.

The tracking device project was in its final stages, and the data had already been passed on to my supervisor and the deputy head of the Magic Tower, so there wouldn’t be much to do until the approval came through.

Having made all the calculations and brought up the holiday talk, everything was going according to plan.

On the way to the lodgings, Hael was standing at the entrance, perhaps because of what I said about being away for a few days.

“Is it okay for you to stand here today?”

Hael had been like this ever since what I said before.

Knowing he would follow me anyway even if I told him not to, I just smiled.

Thinking vaguely that someday Hael too would distance himself from me.

Until Hael’s emotions draw a downward curve and then turn into quiet foam, what I have to do is to stay by his side like a friend, pretending not to know.

Fortunately, since that day, Hael doesn’t seem to have any other expectations of me, so those shining emotions will someday reach someone who matches him, not me.

Thinking that way made me feel more at ease.

When I smiled slightly, Hael went on and on about having a good trip.

As if I were going to a battlefield, not a trip.

“I’m not going to a battlefield.”

I smiled, and Hael smiled back.

“I know. But you know…”

The way he trailed off at the end was quite suspicious.

“What?”

“Nothing’s wrong, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah. Just wondering if something might be wrong.”

At the mention of something being wrong, yesterday’s events flashed through my mind like a panorama.

Lady Fiocele in her elegant dress.

The thick envelope now stored in the cabinet.

The words telling me to leave that man…

Everything that came to mind was the worst.

But why was Hael suddenly asking about this?

I wondered if Hael might have seen something, but that was clearly an unfounded worry.

At that time, Hael would have been busy working at the Magic Tower.

I looked up at Hael.

My haggard appearance was reflected in his blue eyes.

Well, I had been in a daze since Lady Fiocele’s visit, so I probably didn’t look normal even now.

“What do you mean? You know how well my supervisor treats me. He even gave me such a long vacation.”

I tapped the permit, and Hael looked at me with an incomprehensible expression.

Then he sighed faintly and said.

“I’m sure he does. But I meant besides that…”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. Just tell me if anything’s wrong.”

His forced smile looked strange somehow, but I nodded.

Hael had always been the worrying type.

“There’s nothing like that. I’m really going.”

I patted his shoulder and hurried away.

I felt Hael’s gaze sticking to my back, but I didn’t have time to check.

When I entered the lodgings, mother was already there with her modest luggage packed.

Her face, full of smiles, had a different glow than before.

Taking mother out and heading towards the back door of the square, her excited side profile filled my vision.

Today, mother’s gait, which seemed to retain her memories, was full of excitement.

My eyes involuntarily reddened with guilt for not having properly taken her out like this when she enjoyed it so much.

‘I should do this more often from now on.’

Although I couldn’t buy medicine, the money I had just bundled up in the safe was enough to go on occasional trips, albeit modest ones.

The money I had been saving as future funds was also enough for mother and I to live alone for some time.

From the moment I came to the capital and became subordinate to that man, there wasn’t a single day I didn’t think about escaping.

I dreamed and planned where to go, how to go, and what kind of house to live in.

In between, I add one more dream of traveling with mother.

Everything fits perfectly.

If I escape safely, I’ll be able to keep seeing mother’s expression like that afterwards.

Somehow my heart was swelling.

The warm breeze engraved on the fresh spring greenery makes my chest flutter.

At the same time, anxiety that crept in like the cold snap in spring lowered the temperature of beautiful hopes.

Lady Fiocele’s sharp words occasionally revealed their sharp form on my heart like glass shards.

But I try to ignore such things.

Because today is the day I decided to run away from everything.

So I waited for the carriage with mother at the back of the square we had reached.

The back of the square, where there were no people, displayed a familiar scenery.

The large pillars that hadn’t changed much from that day, the fountain rising high like a palace, and also…

The carriage I used to ride with that man, the tingling heat of the fingertips I briefly touched inside it, comes rushing in with the warm spring breeze.

Just like the flow of seasons that can’t be pushed away even if you try.

Half-resigned, I boarded the carriage that approached while waiting with mother, and the vehicle moved forward with a clatter.

New scenery spread over the steadily shaking window one after another.

Beyond the window, leaving behind the splendid buildings that filled the capital, fresh nature was blooming to greet the warm season.

From green leaves that pierced through winter’s harshness to pink and purple flower buds.

Large trees and flower petals blooming and scattering from them…

As always, unfamiliar things stir my heart, feeling strange and alien.

Mother was smiling so beautifully amidst it all.

So much so that it made me feel guilty for wishing those beautiful flowers would wither quickly.

During the long journey, mother managed to stay conscious for quite a while, taking in the new scenery with her eyes before finally dozing off.

No matter how much her physical strength had improved, mother was still clearly a patient.

As I covered her thin body with a blanket, her soft breathing mixed with the peaceful air.

The excessively beautiful peace rather created an unstable stirring inside me.

The fact that this peace carries a crack that could break at any time makes my heart jump wildly every time I realize it.

It was fortunate in that sense that the destination was opposite to Alphonse.

Even now, having intentionally cleared away everything related to that man, it would have been nothing short of an ordeal if I had to see familiar roads throughout the journey.

At the same time, such a thought crosses my mind.

If this were a year later and we could stay there forever.

How nice it would be if this were the last escape.