My own appearance, becoming confused now after chanting mantras to like him, is quite loathsome.

Isn’t it ridiculous to even have these thoughts in a relationship that will end with using and being used anyway?

Right now, I’m just relieved that his heart hasn’t left me.

I should smile and be happy that he has come deep into my heart.

As always.

What I should worry about now is just where we’ll go for our next meeting, and how I can hold onto that man.

Before that, I have to get through today.

Yuriel returned to the lodgings with a composed expression and handed the medicine to her mother.

Her sleeping mother rose in a half-asleep state, swallowed the medicine, and looked at her.

Her blinking eyes seemed unable to recognize her.

Her mother, who occasionally floundered in lost memories, now frequently failed to remember her.

Her mother’s hand trembled as it touched her face.

“I missed you so much.”

Her mother now seemed to be seeing her as a vision of her father.

As the doctor advised, at times like this, she quietly listened to her mother’s words and remained still, matching the role.

Then her mother grasped her hand and continued the play.

“You don’t know how much I wanted to show our El to you.”

“…”

“She’s so pretty and smart, just like you.”

Her mother’s touch trembled as it reached her face.

As she grasped that hand in return, her mother looked at her with moist eyes and murmured softly.

“I missed you every day, but you don’t need to know that. Just forget about someone like me and live well.”

“…”

“It’s okay if you resent me.”

“Mom…”

Even after calling softly, her mother still didn’t recognize her and called out to the father she had never seen.

“But please don’t resent our baby.”

Unable to bear hearing more, she called out to her mother several times until she seemed to come to her senses before falling asleep.

Don’t resent? What does that mean?

Isn’t it us who should be resentful?

What is there for my mother, who has raised me alone all this time, to be resented for?

Though I still don’t understand my mother who longs for my father, my heart ached.

The forehead of my sleeping mother, breathing softly, was quite hot.

After placing a wrung-out wet towel on it, I picked up the calendar.

As I marked an X over the date, the remaining time came into view.

Eight times.

Just eight more times to get my mother’s medicine, and then everything will be over.

After that, my mother will regain her memories, and I will be able to break free from that man.

[This is the timeline separator]

Time passed as usual.

While wrapping up administrative work and staying busy, a week was erased in an instant.

The weekend that came again brought tension.

Having to meet him in broad daylight, I felt my face burning already.

It may seem somewhat pathological, but that was truly how I felt.

Where on earth is he planning to go?

Why did he insist on meeting outside, of all places?

I sighed and took out the changer from the cabinet.

The elaborate changer, which still seemed unsuited to me upon second glance, looked the most noble among my possessions. Just as much, it highlighted my own meanness in contrast.

That’s why I had buried it in the cabinet all this time, trying not to dwell on it deliberately.

Of course, I hadn’t even tested what kind of changes this changer would bring.

With trembling hands, I pressed the button, heard a sound indicating face recognition, and soon makeup covered my face.

Yuriel checked her reflection in the mirror over and over again.

‘What is this…’

My appearance in the mirror hadn’t changed.

To be precise, it would be correct to say that much less change had occurred compared to before.

The look of being made up without looking made up gave off a natural and pure impression if put kindly, but if put unkindly, it made one question whether this was an item worth paying such an expensive price for.

Of course, I wasn’t doubting the quality of the item.

After all, probably only a changer from Kalips Shop could harmonize such clear skin texture and soft lip color so naturally without heavy makeup.

It’s just… if I’m going to use such an expensive item anyway, wouldn’t it be better if the change was more apparent? That was just my own thought.

Inside the case was something like an instruction manual.

This changer containing transparent makeup gives an image as clear as dew and as delicate as a willow branch.

Does that man like this type?

At first, I thought he gave me this item to mock me for going to the shop…

Seeing as he told me not to even wear perfume, maybe this is his preference.

In fact, it doesn’t matter what his intentions are.

I cast away such thoughts to the distant deep sea.

I just need to move as he tells me to, that’s all.

[This is the timeline separator]

I hurriedly made my way to the back of the small square, in time for our meeting.

This was the result of him deliberately writing a letter to set the location here.

The attention of the administrative officers that had briefly been focused on me had shifted elsewhere quite some time ago.

If we had met at the dormitory, rumors about that man would have spread far and wide again.

At that time, it was fortunate that none of those who saw him knew his face, so it passed without incident…

The more spectators there are, the higher the risk inevitably becomes.

Moreover, if it’s not just once, but a second meeting, rumors will instantly take on flesh and create bizarre stories.

No, actually, if it were just rumors, it would be fine.

I’m someone who spends the night with him once a week, could that be dismissed as a mere rumor?

People will soon figure out the relationship between him and me.

I shook my head to shake off the conclusion I didn’t even want to think about.

Fortunately, the path leading to the back of the small square wasn’t very crowded, as expected.

Nevertheless, it was impossible not to lower my head like a criminal.

After constantly checking my surroundings, I entered the secluded back area and saw a carriage in the distance.

Even from afar, the carriage looked antique and beautiful.

I’ve seen beautiful carriages a few times in my life.

Like the carriage of some wealthy tourists I saw in Alphonse long ago, or those of important people I occasionally lined up to see off while working as an administrative officer.

It had a noble appearance that stood out even compared to those, with a different air about it.

It truly would have been a big deal if we had agreed to meet in the center of the square or at the dormitory.

Only after checking my surroundings once again and confirming that there was no one around did my unstable heartbeat finally settle down calmly.

Taking a deep breath, I approached, and a man I remembered seeing a few times opened the carriage door.

With a strangely smiling face.

[This is the timeline separator]

Cassian let out a hollow laugh as he looked at the cramped carriage.

He had ordered the carriage, but it was Tiobe who had managed it.

When asked why the carriage looked like this, Tiobe answered:

[I felt like I had to do something.] [What?] [It’s your first date, isn’t it, my lord? I simply couldn’t bear to see my lord’s first love end in unrequited love.] [You crazy bastard.] [It is… your first love, isn’t it?] [So?] […] [Are you saying I should get along well with that woman?] [Yes.] [Shouldn’t you be trying to stop me?] [I’m not the Duke Blanchet or the Madam, I’m your knight.] [Your loyalty seems to be lacking quite a bit. While eating the salary your father gave you.] [The one who allowed me to receive that salary is you, my lord, so well, you are my young master.] [If your lord is going down the wrong path, shouldn’t you correct him?] [That’s not my role. A knight’s moral code is determined by the lord’s orders and instructions.] [So you brought this carriage according to my orders and instructions?] [You instructed me to prepare a carriage, but you didn’t specify what kind. I can think this much at least.] […] [I sincerely hope you succeed today.] [Hah…] [I have the right to say this much. You even ordered that custom changer from a place crawling with young ladies.] [You’re really crazy.] [Since I’ve gone truly mad, let me add one more thing. That day, when she left the room, her expression was quite different from usual.] […] [How should I put it, she looked displeased.]

The woman who had been as dry as a twig before showed emotion that day, he said.

And the first emotion she showed was displeasure, he said.

The woman who received the gift had a puzzled expression in front of me.

To think that such a woman had that kind of expression when leaving the room, it’s not even funny.

I’m quite curious in the midst of all this.

What kind of face did this woman in front of me have that day?

What expression did she wear outside, not in front of my eyes?

It’s not impossible to imagine her from Alphonse, not the capital.

Back then, this woman often showed her emotions in front of me.

Unlike now, when she suppresses and holds everything in, that girl who expressed everything was bold to the point of being insolent.

With her wrinkled nose and furrowed brows, she probably left the room like that day.

She must have looked like a withered tree every time she left the bedroom.

She must have frowned after receiving the gift.

It’s laughable, such a clear signal.

As Tiobe said, what am I doing if I’m not actually in love with this woman?

It’s ridiculous.

How can something like this make me so heated?

Like some teenager suffering from puppy love.

The woman’s face slowly turns towards me.

Unlike long ago in Alphonse, the woman’s face, which has become clear while rotting away in the administrative office, is quite different from then.

Yet, the fact that she’s pretty remains unchanged.

Unlike the face I’ve seen under the flickering red lanterns every night, her face in the bright daylight of the afternoon gives off a different atmosphere.

No, to be precise, maybe it’s the changer I gave her that creates such an atmosphere.

The woman’s face, which was covered in color, now stands before me in its clear form.

The volumed forehead line, the small nostrils below it, the long shadows of eyelashes that fall with every blink.

Below that, the slender body I had inflated and burst all night.

That body, which was suffocatingly seductive at night, now covers the midday sun and contains an unwholesome purity.

The woman, who followed my words exactly and didn’t wear perfume, left a scent of flesh lingering in the narrow space.

Yes. Come to think of it, I hadn’t done anything wrong.

From beginning to end, it was this woman who clung to me and seduced me.

It was you who whispered that you liked me, with perfume all over your body and makeup on your face.

So you should rightfully bear that responsibility, not me.