As they said, such stories actually circulated in the daily newspapers.

It was bad enough that even such a thesis came out.

Many people say this.

That physical mating before marriage is sacrilegious and only for pleasure.

I scoffed at such words.

Saying that the god who bestowed such adversity and hardship on me has no right to say such things.

However… the end of love made only of eros was often not good.

I too have seen countless such cases while working as an administrative officer, so it was an undeniable fact.

Of course, it doesn’t matter if the end is not good.

But the fact that its effective period is also so short constantly torments me.

If the expiration date is not even a year.

If it’s discarded before that, I feel overwhelmed by the bleak feeling.

But I was not in a position to go out and play pretty love games with him.

How could I, who gets breathless every time I enter this hotel for fear of being caught by someone’s eyes, roam the capital in broad daylight with this man?

Yes. This man and I are in exactly that kind of relationship.

The kind of relationship that must be kept secret, that must not be revealed to the front of the world.

So all I could say were the deceptions and lies I uttered on the bed every time.

I like you.

I love you.

I missed you.

These insincere lies pile up with each passing day.

As this man uses me, I too blush at the thought of using him, struggling to somehow make him mine.

Since I’ve never not done so since I first said I liked him, there’s nothing strange or hesitant about it.

Nevertheless, when the man turned away silently like this, numerous worries would snowball together and block my sight.

The man’s body slowly turned towards me.

He will probably grab his coat and disappear outside without a word of goodbye, as always.

I took my gaze off him as I stared blankly and moved towards the dress scattered like my tattered heart.

Just as I was about to pick it up, the man grabbed it faster.

The hand holding it out to me was casual.

As I stared at it awkwardly, he asked in a whisper.

“Do you want me to put it on you?”

“No.”

Put it on me?

Could there be anything more chilling than that?

Submitting myself to his hands was enough until just now.

I turned my body, put my legs through, pulled up the dress, and reached out my hand, but the uncomfortably lowered zipper barely escaped my grasp.

Finding that sight amusing, the man smiled, removed my hand, and turned my body himself to zip it up.

It was quite an affectionate movement, but it was shameful.

Just having this man catch anything about me evokes such emotions from beginning to end.

He was clearly born to torture people.

The man, who had been staring intently at me, put something down on the table.

“A gift.”

A familiar shape gleamed under the man’s fingertips as he tapped it.

‘A changer?’

Why is that thing I’ve seen a few times in the shop here…

The man tapped it again while looking at me.

On top of the case following his fingertips was a red pendant resembling his eyes.

“It seemed like you needed this.”

My head turned white at the man’s words.

Could he know even that I frequent the shop?

Well, it’s not strange.

For such a great family, assigning someone to me would be nothing.

“It’s good now too, but this is more my taste.”

Of course, I did put in effort to be noticed.

I poured on perfume and painted my face to seduce him so openly.

But I didn’t expect him to say it like this… my face flushed bright red.

My heart trembled at the fact that my miserably flushed appearance, up to the tips of my ears, would be captured in this man’s eyes.

“Ah, stop spraying that perfume now.”

Stop spraying perfume, and a new changer on top of that.

Did he not like my appearance today?

If his dissatisfaction continues, he will stop seeking me out.

There are plenty of substitutes for me in this empire.

Indeed, it was rather strange that he still let me in, if anything.

Perhaps this man was warning me today.

To try harder.

That there won’t be a next time if I don’t.

My heart sank at the dizzying feeling.

He slowly turned his body towards me, neatly dressed in uniform.

His pristine appearance, in contrast to my disheveled state, made me feel even more miserable.

Of course, there was only one thing for me to do.

Nod like a doll.

“I’ll do that.”

Pleased with my answer, he put a faint smile on his lips without saying anything.

While feeling relieved, I felt disgusted with myself for feeling relief in this situation.

As if I’m getting used to this whole situation.

While I was eating away at myself with self-mockery, he gently placed the medicine bottle on the table.

It was a much gentler movement compared to before when he would throw the medicine onto the bed.

As gentle as his touch when he caressed me.

That fact causes confusion once again.

As complicated thoughts stained and took over my mind, I felt the man’s gaze.

I don’t know how long it had been there, but that gaze was sticky, strangely so.

Only after our eyes met did his lips open slowly.

“Next time, let’s meet outside.”

“…Pardon?”

Outside? Does he mean we’ll be roaming the capital together?

The mere thought makes my head turn white.

This man may not care about being the subject of people’s gossip, but I’m different.

If someone were to see…

In an instant, I would become the talk of the town.

All the burdens derived from that would fall entirely on me.

I desperately wanted to avoid that.

I’ve never liked mixing with him in bed and this Marriott Hotel, but…

At least this secretive place was much better than the bustling downtown under the blazing sun.

Because this man and I are not in a relationship that can roam under such a bright sun.

“Outside…”

He stared intently at me as I swallowed hard.

“Why? Don’t you like it?”

His face lowered abruptly and stared straight at me.

His breath tickled down my cheek.

“Do you prefer rolling around in bed rather than meeting outside?”

“…”

“Then say so. I’ll do it that way.”

A cool scent wafted from him as he came closer.

The scent emanating from his body was completely overlaid with Blanchet’s ambiance.

That fragrance oppressively weighed me down, awakening a sense of reality.

The answer I should give now is set.

Just say I’ll do it. Like always.

But the rebellious spirit born of fear eventually leaked out of my mouth.

“Don’t you… like my body?”

The man stared blankly at me for a moment as if he’d heard something unimaginable, then burst into laughter.

Only then, a beat late, did the meaning of what I said sink in, and shame washed over me.

I must have been momentarily insane.

Of all things to ask, that.

After a long while, his face turned back to me, still with traces of laughter.

My nails dug into my palms inside my clenched fists at his expression tinged with mockery.

His face lowered and pressed close to my ear.

His touch gently stroked my hair. The careful movement, as if handling a baby, contrasted with his insensitive gaze, making my body flinch.

His red gaze, filled with my reflection, rippled as our eyes met.

“I thought so.”

His long, white fingers slowly traced down my cheek to my lips.

His caressing touch sent shivers through my body.

“Seems that’s not the case.”

He laughed luxuriantly after saying those incomprehensible words.

His devilishly, terribly beautiful appearance resembled a black rose.

Because of that, his words hit me a half-beat late.

He thought he liked my body, but it seems that’s not the case.

Does that mean I’ve become useless, or could it mean he really… has come to like me?

My reflection rippled in his gaze as I looked up at him.

Could he really like someone?

And that someone being me.

It’s nonsense.

But if not, how to explain that ripple…

Numerous thoughts intersected, and my mind went blank.

My heart pounded violently. Towards me in such a state, he whispered softly as if pronouncing a sentence.

“I’ll send a carriage.”

Even after fleeing the Marriott, I couldn’t breathe properly.

That man’s words wouldn’t leave my mind, crudely jumbled together.

The conclusion keeps reaching the same point.

That that man likes me.

Those ridiculous words, indistinguishable as truth or lie, briefly linger in my head before fading hazily.

It must be another of his pranks.

He’s become addicted to putting people in the palm of his hand and observing their reactions, so this must be just another instance of that.

Whether his intention was successful or not, that man circled in my head like a curse.

That gaze staring intently at me. Those words saying it seems that’s not the case now.

Those red eyes filled with me, the thrill spreading to the corners of his lips.

The red rippling that was in turmoil…

It was ridiculous to be sitting here recalling such things.

What would change because of it?

Ah, there is one thing.

If he really does like me.

If the volume of that feeling is quite large, I could easily grasp what I want.

But I can’t believe in the shell of what he calls love.

If that were the case, he should have given everything today, not just one pill.

A love confessed with just this one pill is nothing more than a cumbersome accessory to me.

Yes. What he’s doing must be just playing around.

What he feels for me must be closer to desire as usual, not feelings.

I just need to use that desire.

That’s the conclusion I decide to reach.