Yuriel passed by the administrative officers complaining about their work sickness and took her seat as usual, neatly tying up her hair.
This was a kind of rebellion in its own way.
A small act of defiance against that man who told her to let her hair down.
A great act of defiance to erase herself standing before him with her hair down.
Gathering each of these moments, she tries to forget that man.
She tries to forget that night when she writhed at his feet like a prostitute.
No, she tries to forget.
At least in her daily life.
Although the prayer of oblivion will shatter in just a few days when she sees his face again, still.
As the project progressed with the scratching of the quill pen, that man was gradually forgotten.
Whether she was working to forget that man, or whether that man was forgotten because she was working, papers piled up one by one in a time she could not discern.
When she put down the stack of papers that exceeded a hundred pages, her senior clicked his tongue as he approached.
“It’s done. Do you think the main office will approve this?”
Her senior’s eyes were briefly surprised, then immediately shifted to the documents.
His hand turning the pages one by one was quite serious.
Only after checking the exact percentage of benefits to be gained from the tracking device and the arithmetic part did her senior raise his head.
His lingering gaze was unusual.
‘Why?’
‘There can’t be any mistakes… Is there something he doesn’t understand?’
It was unlikely, but she began to feel anxious.
“This case states that tracking is possible with 99 percent accuracy, and its usefulness starts with finding missing persons in the empire…”
Throughout her explanation while holding the documents, her senior stood with an incomprehensible expression.
As the explanation came to an end, her senior let out a hollow laugh.
Then, as their eyes met, he turned his head unnecessarily and spoke with his back turned.
“How foolish, tsk.”
His awkward coughing seemed strange somehow.
Soon after, her senior’s face turned towards her with an embarrassed smile. It was a rare smile.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Are you… even sleeping at all?”
Her senior’s eyes etched her appearance, no, her haggard look.
Having stayed up for the past few nights, she probably didn’t look normal.
“Usually people say ‘good job’ at times like this.”
When she smiled broadly, her senior exhaled a ‘huh―’ as if he had heard something ridiculous, then stopped in front of her face and clicked his tongue once more.
The thought ‘What’s wrong with my appearance…’ quickly crumbled.
Her reflection in the nearby mirror.
Her reddened face looked as if she had been dunked in alcohol.
That appearance was both amusing and quite satisfying.
Because it meant she had focused so much on herself.
Because this face made her forget herself turning pale beneath that man.
The reflection in the mirror even evoked a feeling of pride after a long time.
However, that was just her thought, her senior looked very displeased.
“Words of praise are only for people who rarely do well when they occasionally do something right.”
“…”
“You need to take care of your health first. Don’t collapse.”
He worried when she was pale, and now he’s worried about her reddened face.
“So you won’t praise me?”
Her senior, with an incredulous expression, added.
“Someone like you who does well naturally needs rest, not encouragement.”
“Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for.”
“For the fruit basket before, and that medicine… Thank you for everything. Thanks to you, my mother has gotten much better.”
Her senior, who had been staring blankly at her for a moment, cleared his throat out of habit again.
His gaze, which had turned away as usual, was not facing her. His ears seemed to have reddened in embarrassment.
“Tell him I enjoyed the wine he sent.”
“Don’t you only drink hard liquor?”
His face slowly turned towards her, as if wondering how she knew that.
“I just thought you might.”
In fact, it was common knowledge among all the administrative officers that he had been choosing high-proof whiskey every night since losing that person, but…
She decided not to mention that.
Her senior murmured bitterly, as if it were a newly realized fact.
“That’s how it’s been since that person disappeared.”
“Ah…”
“Don’t look at me with such pitying eyes. It’s unpleasant.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Apologies are even more unpleasant.”
In the solemn atmosphere, a smile oddly started to creep up.
I shouldn’t laugh, one sheep. Two sheep. Three sheep…
“When I drink hard liquor, sometimes that person doesn’t appear.”
“…”
“I drink to try to forget, even if only in dreams.”
His calm voice was deeply imbued with long-held sorrow.
Soon, a bitter smile hung on his lips.
“Wine… I drink when I miss her.”
She suddenly wondered if searching for someone for so long was resentment or longing.
“Do you still miss her after all this time?”
Vincent let out a hollow laugh.
“Of course.”
He had never forgotten that woman for even a moment.
It was the only thing that couldn’t be done no matter how hard he tried.
His eyes, now moist, sparkled as they met the light coming through the window.
It was clearly reflected in Yuriel’s eyes standing on the opposite side.
A phrase she had read somewhere flashed through Yuriel’s mind.
That even love has an expiration date.
It seemed that formula didn’t apply to her senior.
Seeing how even such statistics crumbled before him.
Is such love a curse or a blessing?
The look in her senior’s eyes as he stared into space held a completely different bitterness than the joy when looking at the tracking statistics earlier.
What kind of person was she?
What kind of love did they have, that she became an unforgettable future waiting for him after such a long time?
“Do you think she’s waiting for you too?”
“Who knows. She left without a word even when she departed.”
“And yet…”
Do you want to find her?
She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.
It was a tactless remark, she belatedly realized.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
Her senior’s words that apologies were even more unpleasant belatedly crossed her mind.
“No, I mean…”
As she just moved her lips, her senior burst into laughter and kept wiping away tears.
She didn’t think she had said anything that funny…
“That’s just how love is.”
“Pardon?”
“Your heart goes to that person regardless of their feelings. That’s why unrequited love is so dangerous.”
Her senior’s voice was calm and his eyes were quiet, without a single ripple.
As if he had resigned himself to everything.
To that extent, her senior longed for that person. Staking his entire life on it.
According to rumors, he had given up his title and everything else.
How could he wait for that person without even regretting it? If love is like that, she thinks she should never do it even more.
Mistakes and failures are only allowed for those who have room to spare, and she… is not and should not be such a person.
“Don’t you have someone like that? At your prime age.”
Love is just a game for leisurely young masters and ladies.
“I’m fine just like this for now.”
Yes. This was enough.
When she turned her head, a pitying gaze collided with her.
“That clear-faced boy is quite pitiful.”
Clear-faced boy. Ah… Is he talking about Hael?
“…Do you think Hael likes me?”
“Even a passing dog would know that.”
Indeed, Hael had visited this administrative building without fail for the past few days.
As if nothing had happened, even knowing that she was receiving that medicine from the young master.
Even if he didn’t know exactly about her relationship with the young master, he would roughly guess… Yet still.
Despite having a face full of questions, he didn’t ask her anything.
He just tried his best to be her friend.
With his ever-pale face.
“Well, anyway, the choice is yours. Whatever happens with that boy is not my business.”
At these words typical of her senior, her stiff face relaxed and a smile spread.
Seeing her like this, her senior shook his head and added.
“No. On second thought, don’t ever fall in love. For your entire life.”
“Wow, that’s quite a curse.”
Unlike someone who had just cursed her, her senior wore a kind smile.
“I’m saying this because I’m afraid you’ll end up drowning in alcohol like me.”
“Thank you for the advice that will be food for thought.”
“You’re quite good at expressing gratitude.”
Her senior chuckled and carefully reached out towards her.
His hand ruffling her hair was clumsy.
“Anyway, good job. I’ll proceed with the approval process.”
[This is the timeline separator]Vincent brought back the results the next day.
The main office approved the tracking project earlier than expected and provided some funding.
However, as with any project, without sponsors it would be impossible to proceed due to the enormous cost of the tracking devices.
Following procedure, a project presentation was held and invited nobles filled the seats exactly as expected.
The presentation was quite successful, and as expected, one noble stopped her as she was leaving the hall.
“I’ll support that project.”
Baroness Baorbin.
She still hadn’t found her daughter who went missing 10 years ago, even though her blonde hair had turned completely white.
It’s been several years since she mobilized the entire guild to search for her daughter.
It would be a lie to say we didn’t target her circumstances while circulating the invitation list.
“I will do my best to ensure we don’t fall short of expectations.”
The Baroness’s eyes welled up with tears, saying she was grateful for giving her hope.
“I’ll only trust you.”
The hand grasping mine was quite affectionate.
Hope overflowed above her gently spreading smile.
Like the people making wishes towards the ice waterfall.
“If she’s alive, she’d be about your age now.”
Wrinkles were deep above her eyes as she raised her head to look at my face.
Her eyes were dry, without a hint of moisture.
“You’ll definitely… be able to find her.”
Even at words that might seem like lip service to a sponsor, she nodded and walked away.
Walking along the Baroness’s footprints in the snow, emotions became intricately tangled.
Is this what all parents searching for their children feel like?
What would my biological father, who has never once looked for me, say if I found him?
Now I’m a little afraid. Despicably so.
I thought I wouldn’t care at all, but what about that person who has never been in my life?
Well, I’m not looking for him out of any great longing either, so it would be foolish to resent him.
In the end, I’m just weighing whether that biological father will be helpful to me or not.
Harboring a faint hope that he might provide medicine for mother, looking for him with such a petty expectation, it would be despicable to resent him given my motives.
A long sigh escaped, followed by a breath of mist.
Walking along the Baroness’s footprints, my own footprints were imprinted over them one by one.
Ridiculous worries are laid upon them.
Asking my biological father for medicine or receiving medicine from that man.
Which would be less shameful?
Which would be more bearable?
The Male lead Always Seduces Her with His Beauty (Matriarchy)
Xin Jiao Zhou is the leader of the world’s premier sect. She has just experienced betrayal from all sides, was poisoned in an assassination attempt, and faced death squad attacks while the poison was taking effect. After finally clearing out the scum from her sect, she was drugged again while trying to detoxify.
After waking up from a night of unconsciousness, she gained a “beautiful and kind-hearted” husband.
Xin Jiao Zhou: “???”
He fell ill.
She came to see him, bringing breakfast.
As she put down the breakfast and was about to leave, his hand slipped while holding the spoon. “Clank!”
She turned around upon hearing the noise.
He looked up at her, his eyebrows drooping: “My hand… has no strength.”
“Shall I… feed you?” she asked tentatively.
He opened his mouth cheerfully: “Ah—”
Thinking she was drowning, he jumped in without hesitation to save her, but nearly drowned himself. In the end, it was she who swam over to rescue him, giving him air underwater.
After emerging from the water, his ear tips turned red. He lightly brushed his cheek, tucking his sideburns behind his ear, revealing delicate, pink-tinged ear tips. He lowered his gaze, too embarrassed to look at her.
Xin Jiao Zhou: He’s truly beautiful, kind-hearted, and adorable.
A certain someone when disciplining subordinates behind the scenes: “If they don’t obey, just kill them.”
What’s that? She might already have someone she cares about in her heart? A certain someone: Find out who it is, kill them, and then there won’t be anyone.
What? She met a man by the riverside? What? That man even hurt her? A certain someone: Whichever hand hurt her, chop off his entire arm.
Love at first sight without realizing it, gradually falling in love, slowly getting closer…
Family and national grudges, schemes and desires, good and evil, crime and punishment, she and he face the future together, seeking justice with passion!
A naturally dark female lead who could accidentally destroy the world but is actually an honest person VS a weak, pitiful, and helpless but skilled fighter, beautiful white-cut black male lead
My heart is not of stone, how steadfast is your love? — Tao Yuanming “Imitating the Ancients (No. 3)”
— Reading Guide —
Cold female lead & dramatic black lotus with hidden yandere traits male lead
