My Insolent Shadow - Chapter 55

As I picked up the transparent bottle in the envelope, the medicine rolled around inside.

The man’s dry voice overlaid on top of it.

“I was told to write letters once a month.”

“…Pardon?”

The man rolled his eyes, looked me over once, and continued speaking.

“If you want to receive the medicine, it would be better to do so.”

The statement, closer to a speculation than a precise order, added to the confusion.

There was much I wanted to ask… but seeing Blanchet’s person, I couldn’t say anything, as if a thorn was stuck in my throat.

Does saying it would be better to write letters mean I should continue sending them like this?

If that’s really all…

The man who carried out the order quickly disappeared from sight, as if he had finished his task.

Because of that, Yuriel couldn’t ask anything.

The glass bottle and medicine were visible on her outstretched palm.

In a moment, the whole situation became clear.

One thing was certain.

That there was a response to the letter she had written. That it was positive.

However, it wasn’t a perfect positive.

A single pill was gleaming and emitting light inside.

The attendant’s words to write letters now made sense.

That advice was like a warning that medicine would only be given if letters were written.

Of course, it’s not a difficult task.

It means that if I just write and send a few lines of deceptive, false words, I can obtain medicine like this.

If I can live like that from now on, if only mother can be cured, it’s more than I deserve.

Nevertheless, somehow it felt suffocating.

Detestably, it seems I’ve come to want more.

My heart constricted and I couldn’t breathe properly.

In the end, is this how I must live a life without promise, subordinate to him with my breath held?

When did I start thinking this way, when I should be grateful to be able to live even like this?

But even so, I detestably worried about what comes after.

He was someone who could abandon me at any time.

What if he becomes capricious?

This time I managed to pique his interest with a letter and it might work for a while, but…

When he stands proudly as the head of the Blanchet family and finds a new home, will he still provide medicine for me then?

I baked bread, and after losing track of time, the smell of burning filled the shop as the owner’s words echoed in the space.

Even for something that would normally have gotten me kicked out, Yuriel didn’t notice anything strange about the owner’s calm reaction.

Her mind was already completely filled with thoughts of the young master.

Yuriel headed towards the mansion in a daze, as if entranced by something.

Every time she entered the mansion, which was always too grand for her mother and her to be in, she felt like a criminal.

It was like that when the young master was here too, but at least then she had the pretext of being his attendant, whereas now she felt like a parasite living off others without any reason.

Above all, what was suffocating was occasionally encountering the lord.

Today too, Yuriel faced the lord who had taken up position in the corridor leading to her mother’s room.

This was neither the passage to the lord’s office, nor connected to his room.

Why. Why did they often encounter each other here?

Was it coincidence?

“Ahem. Is there anything uncomfortable about your stay?”

His eyes examining the direction of her mother’s room somehow seemed suspicious.

Was it because she had heard too many rumors about the lord?

“…No. Thanks to your consideration, there isn’t.”

Only then did the lord clear his throat and leave his spot.

The desire to leave for anywhere else rose even more desperately in Yuriel’s heart today.

Though she couldn’t escape from the young master she was subordinate to, she wanted to at least get away from this Alfonse.

But for now… it’s impossible.

Yuriel pressed her lips together as she passed through the corridor and entered the room.

As always, her mother, Jane, who was doing her needlework prettily on the bed, smiled when she saw her.

Yuriel too, upon seeing her mother like that, immediately regained her breath and put on a bright smile.

It was a natural smile that had completely erased the darkness from just moments ago.

“Mom, eat this.”

Jane, discovering the medicine, wiped the smile from her face.

Her face soon filled with a worried light.

“Yuriel, I don’t want you to suffer. If by any chance…”

“Mom, don’t say useless things. What suffering have I gone through?”

Jane, catching her breath, stared blankly at the empty bottle in her hand.

“Where did this medicine come from?”

“Where else? You know I earn money from Lubrua translations. I must be quite talented. Today, the uncle at Litor bookstore…”

Yuriel chattered on while constantly checking her mother’s worried face.

It took quite a while for the ashen color to disappear from Jane’s face.

Only after confirming that a bright light had entered her face did Yuriel get up from her seat, smile sweetly, and leave the room.

Click.

After closing the door and passing through the quiet corridor on the way back to her room, ash-colored hues spread across Yuriel’s face once again.

As Yuriel moved her steps, a familiar room brushed past her sight.

The room where the young master had stayed was now empty.

Unlike the past days when she had to hold her breath every time she passed by this room, now she could walk proudly in front of it.

How good that is.

Yes. Everything has turned out well.

That the young master eventually headed to the capital, and that she can now receive medicine like this.

After organizing her thoughts, Yuriel returned to her room and, as usual, opened a book and repeated her transcription.

The transcription was work done with its own dream.

A dream of independence.

She couldn’t cling to this place forever.

Her resolve grew stronger every time she saw the lord’s sleek face.

Today was no exception.

Over time, the dream had become more concrete.

From what she had learned, if she could just get a job in the imperial administration, she could obtain lodging.

There would also be a high salary that someone in her position couldn’t even dream of.

Of course, as a commoner and a woman, she couldn’t become an administrator, but even becoming an assistant or secretary would change the quality of life from now.

The problem is that she needs to rank first in the administrative exam.

To reach that position as a common woman, she needs to prove with her grades that she’s twice as excellent as others.

But if desperation reaches its peak, won’t God lend a hand?

The dream of her mother and herself being able to eat and live normally was gradually becoming more concrete inside Yuriel.

If it could just happen, there would be no more reason to be indebted to this place like a freeloader.

The transcription continued for a long time like that.

However, with each period she wrote, the young master spread over her new dream.

A letter once a month.

If she writes next month, it will be too obvious.

It seemed she should write a letter first, just for today.

Yuriel moved her hand that wouldn’t budge easily and wrote down a letter.

The letter arrived faster than expected.

I thought I’d have to wait a month, but this child always exceeds expectations.

However, it might have been better to wait a month.

Not a single tremor was visible in the letter’s neat handwriting.

Of course. It’s not a desperate cry of love, but a letter containing only formal words of gratitude.

The sentences that completely draw the line with words of gratitude and repayment are quite orderly.

It’s also evident how much thought was put into making it as businesslike as possible.

That irked me to no end.

Saying she’ll repay the kindness for a lifetime.

What does she think I want?

Tap, tap―

Cassian’s fingers drummed on the table.

Each time, that child’s shadow seeps into his mind.

That child in Alfonse who said she’d do anything, who trembled entering my room, who fluttered freely like a butterfly in her greenhouse as if it had never happened.

I wonder if the fool complained about why only one pill of medicine was sent this time.

Or did she truly think she was grateful, unable to even do that, just as the letter says?

Whatever she thought, the conclusion will be the same.

That her letters will consistently arrive on time from now on.

Just as the speed of his thoughts was gradually slowing, a knock broke the silence.

“Come in.”

Bayman, who entered opening the door, quickly bowed his head and said.

“The master has arrived.”

The master. It meant that the head of this Blanchet family, Deviron di Blanchet, had returned.

It was an earlier return than expected, breaking his mother’s prediction that he would return next month.

“This is the medicine the madam sent.”

A single transparent pill was placed in Cassian’s hand.

This medicine, called a strong painkiller, was often used in emergency situations.

The reason is simple. Because although it temporarily stops the pain, after that time passes, one will feel pain doubled in intensity.

Cassian looked at the medicine in his hand and smiled wryly.

This house has never not been a battlefield.

Perhaps behind his father returning from this journey will be a swarm of vassals.

A medicine that will preserve for only two hours.

Will God favor his mother’s hand in that time, or his uncle’s hand?

It was a moment when he had to be put to the test again.

Cassian, lightly nodding his head, swallowed the medicine without a single drop of water despite seeing the water glass.

Bayman, who was watching that scene immersed in fear, hurriedly retreated.

Following behind him, Cassian rose leisurely and moved his steps, descending down the floor.