The heir of Blanchet and a commoner girl are not originally allowed to even breathe in the same space.
That’s what my mother, who was in the capital, used to say. In other words, Élise de Blanchet.
She, who abandoned the name of Esteban and became the mistress of Blanchet, was a person who maintained an outwardly noble appearance.
But beneath that facade, there was always a dark side.
Whenever the topic of commoner women came up, she would speak as if having a fit.
Saying they were girls who didn’t know their place.
She was especially heated about their Cinderella stories.
The reason those worthless ones cling to the noble from the beginning was only one, she said.
Well, it wasn’t entirely wrong.
After all, the young beauties who hovered around men decades older than themselves were usually of low status, and their reasons were clear.
So I shouldn’t even be allowed to mix conversation with that girl.
But I, who am not the heir but a patient with little time left, can do so.
Here in Alphonse, far from the capital, I can cast off Blanchet.
I’ll soon abandon the cumbersome armor called Blanchet along with my life anyway.
Isn’t there enough reason to desire a toy to decorate the end of my life?
I wonder if it would be a bit more fun to grasp her desperation in one hand and toy with it for the rest of my life.
Such obscene and ridiculous thoughts come to mind.
That girl boldly said she came for money, didn’t she?
I’d like at least one person to cry in front of my death.
It might be quite nice if it were her.
I think it would be a good picture if she wailed in front of my death with that desperate desire to save her mother.
It would be fine if she longed for me for the rest of her life with that trembling that even made her hands shake.
I know it’s terribly selfish and self-centered, but who cares.
I’m a patient, and she’s a commoner who committed the sin of offending a patient’s mood.
She’s a commoner girl born with sin from the beginning.
For the first time since being diagnosed as terminal, a smile bloomed.
As I planned for the next day I had been wishing would disappear.
[This is the timeline separator]Before the sun rises, in the quiet dawn when pitch-black darkness slowly settles.
After checking on my sleeping mother once, I quietly folded the blanket and went outside.
Yesterday too, the butternut squash soup my mother had boiled in abundance was, as expected, thick for mine and thin on the opposite side.
This was always the case with my mother’s heart wanting to do something good for her only daughter, even if just a little.
Invisible, but all visible.
Stirring it roughly after mixing, it takes on a fairly plausible appearance.
I’ve even switched them before.
But my mother, Jane, who is insensitive to everything else, would uncannily notice just this.
Looking at the moderately thickened soup, I carefully covered the lid and opened the worn-out door.
Clang, after carefully moving to minimize the metallic sound, as I was about to step outside, I was caught by my mother again this time.
How did she notice when I was moving so carefully?
As I sighed, my mother approached and handed me the butternut squash soup.
“At least eat this before you go.”
I was about to get angry and tell her to sleep more at this time, but I gave up.
It was because my heart softened at her cracked voice.
“I told you not to come out.”
“How can I when my only daughter is doing this because of me? You must have a hard time because you met the wrong mother.”
“How can you say such a thing?”
When I burst out angrily, my mother smiled gently, saying she shouldn’t have said that.
That sight treads on my heart again, and as I try to apologize, the words don’t come out of my mouth well.
While I hesitate, my mother wraps a scarf around my neck with a clear face as if it’s nothing, like always.
It’s a scarf I’ve never seen before, and it’s made of wool. Wool is expensive and costs quite a bit.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been going somewhere again while I was gone?”
“No, it’s not like that.”
Seeing her startled look, it’s clear that I’m right.
My mother’s eyes always flutter like this when she lies.
The sight of a person who can’t even lie well struggling to tell a lie adds to my guilt that I made her this way.
“The doctor who came last time said so. You absolutely shouldn’t be in cold places.”
“I’m telling you it’s not like that.”
I know my mother will never listen no matter what I say.
She has always been that kind of person. Someone who would do anything for me.
A fragile giant who has a strong heart but wasn’t given a strong body to match by God.
Knowing that talking more would only hurt my mouth, I resigned myself to believing my mother’s lie.
Of course, I hadn’t completely given up.
This neighborhood is transparent anyway.
That means I can know where my mother works as clearly as the palm of my hand.
It’s probably either Mrs. Lacbit’s fish shop or Mr. Thompson’s dessert shop.
Those are the only places where she can work with that body anyway.
I should go to them and ask them to fire my mother.
But looking at my mother’s satisfied face, I’m not sure if this is right, and I feel distant.
Meanwhile, my mother coughed out a cough.
Knowing that she won’t leave until I finish eating, I reluctantly pushed my mother inside and slurped down the soup.
I didn’t forget to rinse the plate quickly, worried that my mother might touch it again.
As I stepped outside, I could see my mother’s figure in the distance.
Even though I gestured for her to go inside, she kept waving her hand, fluttering like a paper doll.
Foolish person.
Since there was nothing I could do but move quickly, I hurried my steps.
Until my mother became a dot in the distance and eventually disappeared from sight.
Only then did I exhale heavily and head towards the main road where the merchants gathered.
A quiet time when a reddish glow like the sunset slowly colors the earth as it rises.
If I walk through that time as always, a familiar alleyway appears, and at the end of it is the dock.
The path to Riorden’s fish shop is now familiar, so my steps moved automatically.
As soon as my mother disappeared from view, the memories of yesterday that I had been trying to avoid seeped in like a flood.
The terminally ill young master who whispered like a devil with a white, clear angel’s face.
Me standing in a humiliating posture in front of him.
The young master’s observing gaze and obvious disregard.
The cold air in the room and the hot heat spreading over my lips.
The shame touching my skin…
When I said I came to eat something, that man probably didn’t even think about how I felt.
I thought I was okay, but I actually wasn’t.
Enough for that scene to repeat like a nightmare in my dreams all day yesterday.
Each time, he would laugh and say I wasn’t desperate enough, and then coldly ignore me.
Is it because he’s around my age, or is it because I’ve never seen such an incredible person before that my pitch-black self-esteem was trampled?
Even scenes that I would have just passed by normally keep being ruminated.
Having been chased out like that, I wonder if I’ll get an earful from Mrs. Mary.
With these musty thoughts, just as I was about to enter the fish shop.
An adult wearing the fancy Alphonse insignia uniform caught my eye. Since he was blocking the entrance, I couldn’t help but see him even if I didn’t want to.
As I raised my head to the noble silk clothes that didn’t fit this alley at all, a familiar face appeared.
‘The butler?’
The man is clearly the butler who took me to Cassian de Blanchet yesterday.
‘Why is this person here?’
It’s impossible that the young master who kept me standing for hours would look for me again.
Did I make some mistake yesterday?
He’s not here to interrogate me about something, is he?
The more I think about it, the more my head feels blank. I stopped thinking and looked up at him.
“What brings you here…?”
Even though I tried to refine it as much as possible, my voice came out trembling like a goat.
I swallowed hard as the butler’s expression became ambiguous as he glanced at me.
But.
“I have orders to bring you.”
For a moment, my mind went blank at the completely unexpected words. It feels like my brain is covered in a thick fog, as if I’m entranced by something.
“Do you mean me?”
“Yes. You need to continue as the young master’s attendant.”
I looked at the butler wondering if he was joking, but his expression wasn’t like that at all.
Rather, his face was full of the feeling that doing this kind of thing was very awkward and he didn’t want to do it.
Well, unless he’s crazy, he wouldn’t come to this unsuitable, insignificant alley to take me away.
It must be that the nasty young master really ordered to bring me.
After chasing me away like that yesterday, why?
I can’t even guess his intentions, but either way, the conclusion was the same.
“I’m sorry, but that won’t work.”
I already thought I was chased out and found a new job on my way back yesterday.
“I’m supposed to work here.”
Although the daily wage at Alphonse mansion is tempting, I can’t go to a place where I might be chased out at any time, losing my credibility in this village.
Honestly, even if that wasn’t the case, I had no intention of returning to where that man is.
Come to think of it, it’s not like that house is the only place to work, and I can get through this winter sufficiently.
No, actually, it’s all excuses, and I didn’t want to go back there.
To that suffocating and hot place that makes even the cold season burn.
But.
“That won’t be a problem.”
“What?”
“We’ve already talked to them about taking you away.”
I could hardly speak at these absurd words.
Even if they’re underlings working for the lord’s household, isn’t this too much?
Announcing it like it’s already decided without any consideration for my intentions.
The fish shop owner who appeared momentarily put an end to this situation right away.
“I’m sorry, El.”
“Mister.”
“Wouldn’t Alphonse mansion be better than here after all?”
While saying he was really sorry, he seemed to think that I would be able to work in a better place.
From inside, there was an urgent voice calling for the shop owner.
Since he suddenly decided to hand me over, the shop owner probably has to do twice as much work today.
Seeing that he sent me away despite having to endure that, it was clear that Alphonse had paid a price.
As I clenched my fist, the butler added one more thing.
“Then shall we go?”
I felt upset at his attitude of believing that I would go as if it were natural.
They say there’s no room for hurt feelings in front of money, but somehow everything involving that young master turns out like this. It means I become unlike myself.
This time too, I quite emotionally argued.
“Is this how it always is?”
The butler hesitated for a moment and looked me up and down.
Then he said.
“We’ll double your daily wage.”
The butler’s posture of assuming I would do it remained the same as before.
Unlike before, he was maintaining formality, but hostility was clearly evident. Even that formality seemed somewhat artificial and unnatural.
That means all of this must be on the orders of that damn young master.
He paid the shop owner my share of the monthly salary, and on top of that, he said to bring me in while doubling my daily wage?
I can’t believe it. It’s too contrasting with those cold red eyes from yesterday.
What on earth is that young master thinking?
‘Does he think he’s found an interesting toy?’
Recalling the corners of his mouth that looked interested, it seems like it might be so.
Paying this much for a toy would be nothing to that young master, though it’s an expensive price for me.
I had no choice but to accept this seemingly sweet offer.
The doubled amount mentioned by the butler held my ankle.
With that money, I could not only pay for my mother’s medicine but also…
Not only that, I could buy the Leveru herb that I had never even dared to try.
Although I don’t know for how long.
Of course, that’s only if I manage to endure successfully.
Nevertheless, shame is instantly covered by desperation, as always.
“I’ll go.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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