My Insolent Shadow - Chapter 10
I felt guilty, as if I had committed a crime, even though I had done nothing wrong.
With just one expression, that young master makes me feel so suffocated.
I tried to escape from the red gaze slowly observing me, but even that wasn’t easy.
It would be foolish to try avoiding a gaze I had already met.
The longer we faced each other, the more my chest felt pricked.
As if someone was stabbing around my heart with an awl.
I felt like a child caught talking to another during class, or someone caught by their employer doing something else during work hours.
Kassian was still mocking me with his lips curled up crookedly.
It was similar to when he had made that somewhat overbearing and absurd statement about bringing back the author to rewrite the book.
A long sigh escapes me.
I had a feeling that Kassian wouldn’t let this go easily tomorrow.
For some reason, it was clear that my conversation with Hael had upset him.
But why?
If I were to argue, it would be ridiculous and unfair.
It’s infuriating that I even have to think about this.
Honestly, the strictly defined employer-employee relationship between the young master and myself ended when I left that room.
Of course, that relationship will resume when dawn breaks tomorrow, but at least not right now.
Kassian’s red eyes pierce through me, as if reading my appearance and thoughts.
His gaze lingers as if seeing right through me.
As I bite my lips in frustration, Kassian slides his gaze away and closes the window.
The sharp sound of it closing seemed to echo even here.
As Kassian disappeared from view, I finally noticed Hael’s palm.
“Why do you look so dazed?”
A large hand was waving in front of me.
The owner of that hand came into focus a beat later.
He was smiling brightly at a height where I had to look up to properly see his face.
I thought to myself that he had grown a lot since before.
Hael, not taking his eyes off me, nodded towards the window where Kassian had just disappeared.
“Do you know him?”
His hand gently shielding my face from the sunlight felt quite affectionate.
“Yes.”
“How?”
I didn’t particularly want to bring up that young master in front of Hael, but the situation ended up like this.
Was this what Kassian wanted?
“Because he’s the one who hired me.”
Hael’s eyes gradually widened as he processed this.
“He hired you? That young master?”
Young master? Ah, Hael must know Kassian.
Having been in the capital for a long time, and being selected as a scholarship student by Blanchet, he must have seen the young lord at least once while coming and going there.
Anyway, I could understand Hael’s surprise.
It would be quite strange for Blanchet to keep a commoner like me by his side.
Of course, Hael is also a commoner, but he’s different from me.
Even Hael, who was useful enough to be selected as a scholarship student, only takes care of horses here, not even considered a person.
Of course, in this mansion where horses are highly valued, it might be inappropriate to say “only” horses, but at least that’s how it seems to me.
However, the point of Hael’s surprise was quite different from what I thought.
“What’s going on with that picky young master? Keeping someone by his side.”
Picky?
“Was he picky in the capital too?”
“Yes. That’s why I couldn’t even feed hay to that young master’s horse among all of Blanchet’s horses. He said he didn’t like it when other people’s hands touched it.”
Ah… that was truly Kassian-like behavior.
That fussy young master must have looked down on the world haughtily in the capital as well, with his head held high.
“His unpleasantness seems consistent.”
Hael chuckled and continued talking about the young master he knew.
As if he had forgotten that he was once the most prominent young master in this village, he spoke with a voice that seemed to admire Kassian.
“But I heard he was highly praised? Everyone in Alphonse was talking about nothing but the young master.”
The time when Kassian called me out flashed through my mind.
And that alley where I walked behind butler Alphonse, drawing attention.
By now, the price he paid for me would have spread as rumors throughout the neighborhood and beyond.
Hael looked a bit disappointed that the villagers, who had always talked only about him, had changed their topic of conversation.
“You too. I can’t believe you’re talking about another man in front of me after we’ve met for the first time in years.”
“No, that’s not what I…”
My face flushed at the unexpected words.
It was as if I had been conscious of the young master.
Finding my flustered expression amusing, Hael burst into laughter.
“Why are you so surprised?”
“…”
“Disliking your boss is common to all citizens of the empire, what’s the big deal?”
Hael’s expression softened as he gently narrowed his eyes.
Finally, a chuckle escaped me.
Of course, how could I be conscious of the young master?
I was just venting about an unpleasant boss.
I just couldn’t understand why he was acting this way only towards me, while being wrapped in everyone else’s praise.
After that, Hael told me stories about the capital.
The advanced civilization there, completely different from this isolated island-like place, seemed like another world I had only read about in books.
Occasionally, stories about the young master in the capital were mixed in.
Once, a gardener almost got fired for mismanaging Blanchet’s prized wisteria, but he cut down the wisteria entirely.
He didn’t reveal the truth even when severely scolded by the duke.
On the day his nanny’s daughter died, he sent her away on a vacation.
.
.
.
Until just three years ago, before he was diagnosed with a terminal illness, he swept victories in every swordsmanship competition as befitting an heir of a military family. The young lords envied him, and the young ladies adored him.
There was even the spectacle of courtship pouring in for him, who hadn’t even come of age yet.
Everyone’s dream was to take him out as their cavalier at their future debutante.
Whenever that happened, the young master would just smirk with an expression that showed he had no interest in women whatsoever.
In all these stories, the spiteful young master who treated me poorly didn’t exist.
Only the gentlemanly and perfect heir of Blanchet was contained in those stories.
Is the young master only bad and frightening to me then?
Making me stand in a humiliating way and testing me by making me read a book in Louvre…
Even the young master who glared at me as if I was annoying him and slammed the window shut with a bang was nowhere to be found.
I feel like I’m the strange one for thinking of him as odd.
I can’t even tell anymore if I’m really twisting my perception of him, or if he’s only acting this way towards me.
Suddenly, once again, the empty eyes that looked lonely flashed through my mind.
‘Did he become such a cold-hearted person after being diagnosed with a terminal illness?’
Thinking that way made me feel like I was truly a bad person.
The young master is still too young to die, so maybe I twisted my perception of him thinking he could throw that much of a tantrum.
In reality, I’m the one committing fraud by disguising myself with a false identity, so I have no right to say anything.
Hael stopped talking about the young master for a moment and met my gaze.
“But how did you end up working here?”
“Just… somehow.”
I tried to brush it off, but under Hael’s persistent gaze, I eventually told the truth.
“Aunt Mary recommended me. I guess I was the only one who could last long by that young master’s side.”
“You do seem like you’d be the best at it.”
Well, it was more that there weren’t many people who could handle that young master, but I didn’t feel like arguing about it.
“Thanks. For saying that.”
“Is the work manageable? How’s the young master?”
Young master. Just remembering him made me feel suffocated, contrary to my earlier thoughts that I might have misjudged him.
It felt like those red eyes were still glaring at me from thin air.
Only after checking that the window was closed did I let out a long breath from deep in my lungs.
“Just… as unpleasant as those haughty young masters, that’s all.”
Did he hear me sigh? Hael’s words stopped.
When I turned my head, blue eyes reminiscent of a cloudless sky slid over me, as if examining me.
“You’ve changed.”
“Huh? What has?”
Hael turned his face away with a sulky expression.
“You used to tell me before. That you’d never seen anyone as unpleasant as me. That you thought noble young masters were supposed to be sweet.”
Ah. I did say something like that to Hael.
In that distant past when he was once the biggest person in my world.
“Wasn’t I the only young master like that for you?”
“…”
To be jealous of being called unpleasant… Hael has some incorrigible aspects.
“I’d be disappointed if that’s not the case, my lady.”
The voice calling me ‘my lady’ brings back memories of a past that has now grown distant.
In reality, if some elderly grandmother in Alphonse saw this, she’d say it’s ridiculous for a kid whose blood hasn’t even dried behind their ears to talk about the distant past.
But it truly felt that far away.
Those times when I conversed and exchanged words with Hael.
In the meantime, I had been through so many things and was too busy to dwell on such past memories.
So while that time might have made me more vivid in Hael’s memory, for me it was a time that made me forget Hael.
Just as the same amount of time can be interpreted differently depending on the person.
Still, acknowledging that my changes are different from his while having Hael right in front of me would probably hurt him.
“People naturally change.”
“I haven’t changed.”
“You have. Your voice has changed, you’ve grown much taller, and also…”
As I searched for other changes, Hael brought his face close to mine.
“I’ve become more handsome.”
His grinning form is definitely charming. After seeing only the crooked smile of that young master, this smile makes me feel purified.
If good and evil exist, this kid would be good and that sickly young master would be evil.
Ah, it would be disrespectful to think of that young master while looking at Hael. I’m glad there’s no magical tool for reading others’ thoughts.
For a moment, Hael’s face suddenly closed the distance once again.
“But my heart hasn’t changed. That’s what’s important, right?”
As he suddenly came close like this, a gentle warmth spread quietly in my heart.
Like long ago.
It’s a dangerous change. It was also a feeling I never wanted to have again.
Ex-husband Wants Reconciliation
One-line summary: Chasing the wife to the crematorium (making an effort to attract someone who has become indifferent), the female lead doesn’t look back, the second male lead takes the position.
Intro:
To repay the kindness of the older generation, Su Mu crossed into a female-dominated world and became a live-in daughter-in-law of the Yan family, single-handedly saving the Yan family from fire and water.
But her husband, Yan Jiyue, the eldest son of the Yan family, treated her with sarcasm and never showed her a good face.
It wasn’t until after Su Mu’s death that this pampered and arrogant young master shed a few fake tears and pretended to want to die for love.
This life’s kindness was enough. If there was a next life, she would definitely kick Yan Jiyue away.
Who knew that the heavens would be so kind as to allow her to be reborn, returning to the time when she had just married into the Yan family.
Su Mu glanced at the Yan eldest son, who still spoke coldly to her, and threw a divorce letter in front of him.
“Let’s divorce!”
***
Yan Jiyue never imagined that he would be reborn. He happily went to find Su Mu, wanting to make up for the mistakes he had made in his ignorant youth.
Wasn’t the reason the heavens allowed him to be reborn to let him reconcile with Su Mu?
But when he pushed open the door to Su Mu’s room, the person lying on the bed was another man.
Su Mu’s personal attendant, Xie Yi.
Yan Jiyue hated him so much that his teeth itched. In front of Su Mu, Xie Yi was a gentle and considerate whisperer of sweet nothings, but in reality, he was vicious-hearted and deliberately sabotaged their husband and wife relationship.
In the previous life, it was he who secretly hid in Su Mu’s coffin and committed suicide, stealing a step ahead of him to be buried with Su Mu.
Yan Jiyue’s eyes were filled with hatred as he cursed, “What kind of thing are you? Your background is lowly, what right do you have to occupy Su Mu?”
Xie Yi looked at the sleeping Su Mu and no longer pretended to be a whisperer of sweet nothings.
He proudly stuck out his belly, “I have the right because my belly is capable of giving the Wife-master a daughter.”
***
Yan Jiyue was consumed with jealousy. He spread rumors that Xie Yi had once been branded with the mark of a “harlot” on his chest.
But on the night Xie Yi cut off the flesh bearing that mark, Su Mu suddenly realized something was amiss.
“How did you know the exact moment I was poisoned? And why did you show up a month early?”
Xie Yi remained silent, blood from his wound soaking through his robes. His sapphire eyes brimmed with anguish – or was it just a flawless act?
Between a once-arrogant husband now seeking redemption, and a gentle soul willing to die for her – who truly held the darkest secrets? And could it be that Su Mu and Yan Jiyue weren’t the only ones given a second chance at life…?
[Reading Guide]
1. True divorce, chasing the wife to the crematorium, the female lead doesn’t look back, the male lead is Xie Yi.
2. The ex-husband did not cheat, he just realized too late and didn’t realize that he liked the female lead.
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