My Discarded Fiancé Returned - Chapter 51

Lucas’s voice still echoed low and languidly.

“That night happened to be a full moon. And for some reason… seeing the bright full moon reminded me of you.”

“Why… me…”

“In my life, no one has ever treated me so coldly and insulted me like that.”

Serena had nothing to say about that. When they held the engagement ceremony, she had not been in this world for long and did not know what she was doing.

When they safely arrived at the Astel estate, Anna had tearfully said that she thought she would die that day, but Serena had been skeptical.

“Of course, that’s not all. Suddenly, I wanted to see your face that came to mind again. And I realized why I was so mean to you.”

Serena waited for his next words without asking.

“I was angry at myself, not you. Without realizing it, I disliked my small and lacking self compared to the woman I fell in love with at first sight.”

It was a mistake that a 14-year-old boy who grew up as a noble crown prince could make. However, it was not something that anyone could realize and admit.

“I… maybe I also disliked myself.”

Hearing Lucas’s courageous words, Serena unwittingly poured out her heart.

“As a woman, I was much taller than most men and unnecessarily strong… But even with that strength, I couldn’t amount to anything.”

Even before entering this story and becoming Serena, it had always been upsetting to be bigger and stronger than others. No matter how much she wanted to accept and affirm herself as she was, the eyes and mouths of others did not give her a chance.

“In the end, I had to accept that I was just a big woman.”

There were many particularly terrible memories from her past life.

From a young age, she showed talent in physical activities and wanted to become a gymnast, but her arms and legs grew wickedly tall, and she ended up wandering from one event to another, remaining an ambiguous existence that ate away at her self-esteem.

“That’s not true. You are slender and beautiful. You stand out more than anyone.”

The happiest thing after becoming Serena was the gaze of Anna and the people of Astel estate who looked at her lovingly and affirmed her.

Although, it seemed that before she entered this world, Serena had also tried to force herself into clothes through excessive dieting, but in the midst of kind gazes, Serena barely found a way to love herself.

“In my memory, you were always only confident. Perhaps we were similar.”

“Maybe so.”

When she first realized that she had entered an unfamiliar story, she thought she would become a fragile and beautiful young lady like a single flower, as in common novels.

However, the Serena in this story happened to carry similar wounds to her past self.

“But now, I don’t dislike all those facts.”

At the time, the disappointment was deep. Having already entered this world on her own and having to live as a non-protagonist, she couldn’t even become a pure and pitiful woman. Wasn’t it too cruel?

“I realized how foolish it is to live being swayed by the judgments and evaluations of others.”

Now, she was grateful to be able to become Serena. Becoming Serena, who carried the same pain, and learning to love herself while being with good people, unlike in her past life, made her feel like she had driven away all the heavy burdens and darkness in her heart.

“Indeed, we are a match made in heaven.”

Lucas also constantly asked and questioned himself about who he was while forcibly holding out on the cold battlefield.

“I wanted to become not just the crown prince of the empire, but Lucas as a person. And I dreamed of getting you as my wife like this.”

It was ridiculous to treat his fiancée as a rival, but at that time, just having a goal allowed Lucas to endure the cold nights.

“So… what about when you tried to run away in three days?”

“I was secretly packing my bags and sneaking out when I saw the moon and thought of you. Then I realized. If I ran away from here, I would never be able to have you.”

To a 14-year-old boy with sensitive emotions, the woman he fell in love with at first sight felt the most precious in the world. And day and night, he began to envision himself standing proudly by her side.

“The next day, I brushed off Cedric’s dissuasion and went to the knight commander, asking to be treated the same as an ordinary soldier.”

“And then?”

“He said it was not possible. There were no boy soldiers on that battlefield.”

Serena nodded her head in the darkness. The empire already boasted an overwhelming presence on the continent, so there was no need to force young boys onto the battlefield.

“However, that knight commander was very special and made a different suggestion to me. He told me to receive training that would allow me to survive in real combat, not the elegant swordsmanship I had honed in the palace.”

From then on, Lucas and Cedric shared the same barracks as the new recruits and followed the orders of a single knight, crawling on the ground, gulping dirty water, and swinging swords to the point where their hands were never unscathed.

“The knight commander was amazing. No matter how much you asked, it must have been difficult to treat the crown prince like that.”

“Yes, he was just like your father.”

At the unexpected words, Serena quickly turned her body to face his direction.

“My father?”

“At that time, the knight commander of the battlefield I was on was Duke Astel. Originally, he was only going to accompany me until the departure ceremony, but it seems the former emperor entrusted me to him.”

“Father…”

“You didn’t know?”

Rather, Lucas asked as if he was puzzled. Even on the battlefield, the empire’s military power was overwhelmingly strong, and it was common for even mediocre knights to send letters to their families.

“No. I had no idea at all.”

“Not at all? How?”

“Well… because no one knew where he was or what he was doing.”

Roger readily accepted Serena’s request to live in the Astel estate and gave her the position of acting duke. At the time, she thought he was a father who trusted his daughter, but in hindsight, he was just bothered.

“What… he left his daughter and trained Your Highness?”

However, Duke Astel was an even more absurd fellow than Serena had thought. He had never even mentioned training the crown prince when they met afterward.

“I thought you knew too.”

“Father never sent a single letter while I was in the Astel estate.”

She knew their father-daughter relationship was not close, but at this point, even Lucas was somewhat dumbfounded.

“But he firmly told me to hold a wedding ceremony with Your Highness.”

“Perhaps he trained me, your prospective husband, in advance.”

Even if the two put their heads together, they would not be able to understand Roger’s true intentions.

“Duke Astel stayed on that battlefield for 2 years. By the time he left, I had also become capable of doing my part on the battlefield.”

Literally, there was not a single day in those 2 years when his body was unscathed. Lucas voluntarily shared the same barracks as the new recruits and sometimes even took on errands like feeding the horses.

Nevertheless, he devoted himself to training more than anyone else, and by the time 2 years had passed, he had the most calluses on his hands among those who trained with him.

Perhaps thanks to his naturally superior royal bloodline, his skills also improved remarkably during that time.

“Then, Your Highness and my father must be close.”

“Not really. He truly treated me the same as a new recruit, as I had requested.”

“Well… that’s also like my father.”

Since becoming Serena, she had never spent time with her father or had a proper conversation with him. However, given his flighty behavior despite his position as a duke, it would not be surprising no matter what he did.

“No wonder your reaction was so cold when I went to the Astel estate.”

Lucas had no doubt that Duke Astel would have told his only daughter how much effort and hard work her fiancé had put in.

“Did the duke really never mention me at all?”

“No. Instead, when Your Highness brought up the engagement again, he did say that I had to go through with this marriage.”

It was ambiguous whether that could be considered taking sides.

“I argued for staying single, but my father, who had abandoned me, said that I couldn’t do that.”

“Single? Was that your true intention?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Lucas had never even heard of a woman who became single by her own will.

In this world, it was natural to pair up and start a family, and even more so for those of noble status unless there was considerable misfortune.

“You are truly a remarkable woman.”

Lucas himself was puzzled as to why he didn’t dislike Serena at all, even though she constantly shattered his common sense.

“Your Highness is not ordinary either.”

The virtues of a crown princess were to obey her husband and devote herself to assisting him, as was the case with most noble ladies.

“You promised me freedom.”

Originally, such a promise could not exist. Nevertheless, Lucas staked his name, honor, and even his life to give Serena proof of that promise.

“I had no intention of caging you. What I wanted was the lively and radiant Serena I saw in Astel.”

In the darkness, Serena fiddled with the ring on her ring finger. Lucas’s reappearance was an unexpected hindrance, but she didn’t entirely dislike him either.

“For the time being, it would be good to maintain this alliance.”

“Yes, now that the crown prince is married, there is much to do as husband and wife.”

However, Lucas still couldn’t swallow his regret.

“In that sense… would it be okay to just hold hands?”

Lucas’s large hand was placed on the pillow between them.

“I really can’t sleep. Also, I will keep my promise. If you want to be strict, isn’t this an opportunity to test my credibility?”

He was really good with words. Normally, Serena would have ignored him, but suddenly remembering his 14-year-old self, she felt too bad to completely push him away.

“Alright.”

At Serena’s answer, the corners of Lucas’s mouth rose.

“But don’t forget. Even if I’m not as strong as Your Highness, I’m absolutely not weak.”

“I can’t forget. My shin is still bruised.”

“Then that’s good.”

Serena, who gave a refreshing answer, placed her hand on top of his on the pillow. Thump thump, their hearts raced as their hands held each other’s warm temperature.