Miss Pendleton (Update to C.222 END) - Chapter 179

“No, Doctor. Since I first started it in March at age eleven, I haven’t missed a single time. Even when I was struck with fever or felt like I was dying of sorrow, it came faithfully every three days of the month. Besides, there’s no reason for it to stop. I’ve gained four pounds since my last visit with you.”

“Mrs. Dalton, I advise against holding onto hope because it’s safer to approach this with skepticism. I’m sorry to say this, but how devastating would the disappointment be if your expectations were shattered? The moment you become trapped in the prison of obsession, a living hell unfolds. Remember that every time hope is crushed, women struggling with infertility step closer to that prison. You’re a wise woman, Mrs. Dalton, so I trust you understand my meaning.”

“…Yes. You’re right, Doctor. I’ll try to let go of my expectations.”

Laura responded calmly, as if agreeing with the doctor’s words. Yet her fingertips, still tightly clutching her gloves, were pale with tension.

Doctor McKenzie grew uneasy.

‘This is the classic image of a woman wasting away due to infertility. Another pitiable woman in Yorkshire, it seems.’

He considered offering further consultation but shook his head and ended the visit. Having been a doctor for over thirty years, he knew well that just as he lacked the ability to see through organs, he also couldn’t extinguish the desperate longing for a child.

No matter how many thousands or tens of thousands of comforting words he offered, they were futile. A doctor diagnoses and heals the body, but whether to cling to or release hope was entirely up to the patient. The heart was a sacred domain no physician could invade.

As if to prove Doctor McKenzie’s insight, Laura continued to wring her gloves even after climbing into the carriage. Her eyes gleamed with a feverish intensity. If she were as immature as Olivia or as lively as Mrs. Starr, she might have leaned out the window and burst into song.

‘There might be a child in my womb. A child born of Ian and me!’

Laura’s eyes grew misty, and she dabbed at them with a handkerchief.

‘Oh, Doctor McKenzie told me not to hope… but this is the baby I’ve anxiously awaited for so long!’

Since last spring, following Doctor McKenzie’s advice, Laura had tried to set aside thoughts of a child and focus on her life with Ian. As a result, their marriage had grown more passionate. Their love deepened, and their happiness expanded. Doctor McKenzie’s advice had been sound.

Yet the happiness of daily life couldn’t always shield her from occasional waves of anxiety.

Last summer, Mrs. Starr had given birth to a healthy daughter, the child she had so desperately wanted. Laura and her husband visited the parsonage with an armful of flowers to offer congratulations and attended the christening. Laura felt relieved that Mrs. Starr had safely delivered and rejoiced in her long-desired daughter. Her blessings for the Starr family were entirely sincere.

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