Miss Pendleton rested her chin on her hand for a moment, looking down at the letter, lost in thought. Then, after a while, she stood up and headed to the second floor.
When Miss Pendleton opened her grandmother’s door, the dim room’s scene came into view at once. Grandmother was lying in bed, stroking the cat Annie while listening to a sonnet read by the maid. Recently, Mrs. Abigail’s health had deteriorated significantly, and she spent all her time like this, unable to even sit up properly.
Miss Pendleton first sent the maid out and then briefly explained the contents of the letter from her uncle.
“So, Mr. Price is Gerald’s friend?”
“Yes.”
“And Gerald is coming to London with Charles? Visiting this townhouse?”
Miss Pendleton nodded.
Grandmother was silent for a moment. Miss Pendleton stood there, her heart pounding, afraid that her grandmother might burst into anger at any moment. However, Mrs. Abigail said something Miss Pendleton had never imagined.
“Prepare the best guest room. And instruct the servants to treat them with utmost respect.”
Miss Pendleton’s eyes widened in surprise. The words that continued to come from her grandmother’s mouth were a series of shocks.
“And for now, we must treat Mr. Price with great hospitality. Send a dinner invitation and tell Mr. Germain to show off his skills. A friend of the head of the family deserves to be welcomed properly in this house.”
Mrs. Abigail noticed her granddaughter’s bewilderment. She extended her hand to Miss Pendleton. It was a gesture to come closer. Miss Pendleton went to sit beside her grandmother. And she took her grandmother’s hand. Grandmother caressed her granddaughter’s hand.
“Are my words perplexing?”
“…Yes.”
“And you must hate it? Being told to treat Gerald, who tormented you so much, with such hospitality.”
Miss Pendleton shook her head.
“I don’t hate it. He is the head of the Pendleton family after all.”
“Then you’re not bothered at all?”
“It’s just… I’m a little nervous, Grandmother.”
“Laura, may I ask you for one thing?”
“What is it?”
“Could you endure it for just a few days? For my sake.”
If she had to do it, she would do it no matter what. She was not one to shy away from what she had to do. Especially if it was what her grandmother wanted.
But Miss Pendleton couldn’t answer easily. She couldn’t understand her grandmother’s intentions. Honestly, Miss Pendleton wasn’t even sure if her grandmother had made this decision in her right mind.
Mrs. Abigail sensed the meaning behind her granddaughter’s hesitation. Grandmother spoke softly.
“…I don’t have much time left. Dr. Webster babbles on about how I’ll live to be a hundred, but I’m not a fool. I won’t make it past this year. I’m certain. Before that, I want to reconcile with your uncle. I want to see my only son… and my grandson too.”
She was surprised but calmly asked again.
“Do you really want to reconcile with Uncle, Grandmother?”
“Yes.”
Miss Pendleton was surprised. Grandmother says she wants to reconcile with her son. She says she wants to see her grandson’s face to her heart’s content.
Miss Pendleton looked at her grandmother’s face for a moment. Due to the darkness, the wrinkles covering her face seemed infinitely deep and dark. When she first saw her, only her hair was sparsely white, and she was a young and dignified lady incomparable to now.
Yes. So much time had passed. Now grandmother had drifted far from the middle-aged lady who had first taken her in. Now grandmother was weak. She was ill. And… she was dying.
“What do I need to do?”
“Just do as you have been doing. What you’ve been doing as the lady of the house. Not just for the Pendleton father and son, but also for Miss Jensen and Mr. Price. It seems those two are important people to Gerald.”
Miss Pendleton nodded.
“Yes. I understand. I’ll prepare everything without fail.”
Mrs. Abigail took Miss Pendleton’s hand.
“I’m sorry for asking this of you, Laura.”
Miss Pendleton shook her head.
“Don’t be sorry. You have every right to ask this of me, Grandmother. You became a mother to me when I was practically an orphan. I’ll show them how well you’ve raised me. I’ll treat them more courteously than anyone.”
Miss Pendleton kissed her grandmother’s forehead, properly arranged her bedding, and then went outside.
For the rest of that afternoon, Miss Pendleton spent her time planning how to receive her uncle and cousin Charles when they came to the house.
The guest rooms for them and the servants who would attend to their needs. The cuisine and carriages to suit their tastes. She planned to take care of all the house repairs that had been postponed until now so as not to offend their eyes.
The plan was immediately put into action. Soon, Miss Pendleton became busy to the point of being overwhelmed.
With the major cleaning of the mansion, repairs to the stairs and roof, and new furniture arrangements in the guest rooms, Miss Pendleton spent her days rushed and busy.
Not a single plan could be properly executed without her attention and direction. Numerous servants and workers sought her out, and she had to move without a moment’s rest to complete everything within the deadline.
After exerting herself all day like that and returning to her room, she would be exhausted. To the point where she wanted to collapse straight into bed. But Miss Pendleton couldn’t easily go to bed.
After receiving her hair care from Anne, she would pace in front of the window alone in her nightgown. Her chest tightened. Due to the presence of her uncle, who was getting closer and closer to her.
It was a contradiction. To be busy all day preparing to welcome her uncle, yet to feel fear as he drew nearer.
But Miss Pendleton felt not a shred of irony. She knew the truth that lay in her heart. The truth that was becoming clear as her grandmother’s death approached.
If she had to name the person she loved most in the world, it would be her grandmother, Mrs. Abigail Pendleton.
Another mother who raised her in place of her own mother who died before she could even start babbling. A warrior who fought against her uncle for her sake. And a reliable patron who allowed her to live as a lady. Miss Pendleton sincerely loved her grandmother who had given her everything.
However, whether the life her grandmother provided was happy was another matter. There was a secret she would never tell anyone. A truth she only whispered to herself in her heart.
Miss Pendleton was much happier before the life her grandmother took her in to live.
In her memories, there was life with her father. Life with her father who was a wandering painter. The wanderer’s path she walked hand in hand with her father throughout her childhood.
The long train journeys spent leaning against her father, playing cat’s cradle and blowing the harmonica. The large and small galleries they frequented to sell paintings. The mansions they visited to paint portraits for money. Country roads. Worn pavements in the city. Strangers. Unfamiliar villages.
The numerous paths she had walked side by side with her father were still vivid in her mind.
Miss Pendleton had never resented her father for entrusting her to the Pendleton family. It was a life that inevitably had many constraints for raising a young daughter. For a daughter to grow into a proper adult, she needed a home and caring hands. She knew that her father’s choice to send her to the Pendleton family was the best option.
Nevertheless, she often thought about it. What if her father hadn’t entrusted her to the Pendleton family then? She wouldn’t have learned as much or lived in such a comfortable environment, but wouldn’t she have been a little happier?
Miss Pendleton often, no, honestly, every time she faced difficulties, she would fall into such thoughts. Imagining herself living a completely different life.
Quietly reading a book beside her father as he painted, sitting across from him in the train dining car drinking coffee, and freely making friends in the village while her father painted portraits in noblemen’s mansions. She would have become part of the scenery, walking wherever her feet took her, as she pleased.
A free life. What would that feel like?
Lost in such thoughts, she would snap back to reality at the sound of a servant calling for her. When she came to her senses, the first thing she always felt was guilt.
She felt sorry for her grandmother. Her grandmother had given up most of what she had to give her this current life. She had given up most of her fortune, chosen to part ways with her own son, and abandoned her glorious life in the Pendleton mansion.
And now she was living in a townhouse not even half the size, looking only to her granddaughter. Because she loved her so much. And yet she…
Miss Pendleton tried harder to hide her true feelings. To be a better granddaughter, she attended balls as her grandmother wished, and hosted dinner parties, concerts, and tea parties to entertain people.
She tried to recreate the image of a lady that her mother would have shown if she hadn’t met her father. And she performed that role quite well. She became her grandmother’s pride and comfort.
Nevertheless, the undeniable truth kept pricking her like a thumbtack in her pocket.
She was not happy living the life called Miss Pendleton. A life where she had to hear gossip in a society that didn’t accept her, be treated as a half-person, always be careful with her actions, and maintain a smile even in front of people who despised her.
‘What would it feel like to live as just ‘Laura’, nothing more?’
Miss Pendleton sometimes thought, and thoughts led to imagination. Imagination led to wishes, and they soon became dreams.
And before she knew it, that dream was about to come true. Sadly, through the death of her grandmother whom she loved the most.
When her grandmother passed away, she could never remain with the Pendleton family. Her uncle would never take her in. That wasn’t what Miss Pendleton herself wanted either. She had already enjoyed far too much, for far too long, of what was never truly hers to begin with.
She would have to leave the Pendleton household with just a few of her belongings. It would be a miserable downfall in anyone’s eyes. A noble young lady thrust out onto the streets without a penny. But to her, it was the beginning of a life as ‘Laura’, not ‘Miss Pendleton’.
Miss Pendleton had made many preparations for that day. She reviewed what she had learned to make a living and even looked into employment agencies where she could ask for work.
The current preparations to welcome Uncle Gerald were part of the preparations for her new life. No matter how unhappy she had been, she recognized her grandmother’s grace.
She wanted to help her grandmother, who had loved her like a mother, depart with peace of mind. To reconcile with her son and pass away peacefully surrounded by the faces of her loved ones. Only then did she feel she could shake off even the slightest guilt and start a new life.
All day long, while being chased by work, she prepared in her heart for her farewell to the Pendleton family. Calmly and composedly.
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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