Marriage with the Younger Brother of the Man Who Betrayed Me - Chapter 38

The commander nodded lightly in response to my question.

“Yes.”

“Even if I was helplessly dragged along by his orders?”

“You must have had no choice. I don’t intend to blame you for that anymore.”

After saying that, the commander added:

“And you didn’t look particularly happy then. The dance was impressive, of course… but aside from that, you looked depressed.”

“…”

“So I regretted it. I felt like I had blamed you without properly considering your position. It finally occurred to me that you might be following him helplessly because of the imperial order.”

Somehow, my eyes started to sting a little.

Perhaps in the commander’s eyes, I had looked like a fool who willingly became his lackey, enchanted by Ernant’s face.

But not anymore.

He finally recognized that I was following Ernant against my will.

Feeling relieved, I opened up to the commander.

“If I didn’t look happy… you saw correctly. My time with His Majesty isn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. There was a time when I followed him loyally, but now I’m not so sure.”

“May I ask why your feelings changed so suddenly?”

“…”

The most decisive reason was because I had regressed after being betrayed by Ernant, but I couldn’t say that, so I evaded the question.

“Because it was painful.”

“Painful, you say?”

“Yes. The unrequited loyalty, love, everything was painful. Commander, have you ever experienced unrequited love?”

After pondering for a moment, he answered.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Then it might be difficult for you to understand my feelings exactly, but unrequited love is quite painful. Even if you shout from a mountaintop, you’ll hear an echo, but unrequited love doesn’t even give you that. You just keep giving love and devotion that will never be returned.”

“…”

“So I… I decided to stop now. That painful self-torment.”

I didn’t know that honestly sharing the wounds of my heart with someone else could be such a great comfort.

It felt like the sadness that had been weighing on me like a huge block of ice was melting away.

But separately, I was also worried that I might have shared too much personal information with the commander.

“Come to think of it, I seem to have shared excessively personal stories. I hope you can forget what I just said.”

“No, not at all. I want you to feel comfortable sharing everything with me without burden. Painful stories tend to become illnesses when piled up inside.”

“Thank you. I feel much better after talking to you.”

It was sincere, without a hint of deception.

My heart felt so light that I regretted not opening up earlier.

So when I gave the commander a grateful smile, he also smiled back at me.

“I hope I can continue to comfort you in the future. Should we dance together again like last time?”

“Ah, you mean when we danced together in the square on the day of the event? It was definitely fun.”

I vividly recalled the joy of dancing together to the lively tune.

“I enjoyed dancing with you in the square much more than dancing with His Majesty in a dress at the ball.”

“…”

“I mean it.”

I thought he would say he enjoyed it too, but the commander remained silent for a long while.

He just kept staring at me quietly.

Just as I was starting to feel embarrassed, wondering if I was the only one who had enjoyed it that day.

“Oh my.”

“…?”

“When you speak like that, it makes me think improper thoughts. Was that your intention?”

“…? What do you mean?”

What kind of improper thoughts could he be having?

While I was puzzled, he ran a hand through his hair.

Thanks to that, his elegant profile, which had been slightly hidden by his fallen hair, was revealed.

As I was thinking that his face was indeed sculpture-like, that sculpture-like face turned towards me.

“…”

“…”

Even though he had merely turned his head towards me, somehow the distance between us felt incredibly close.

It might be a bit of an odd thought, but it felt so close that it wouldn’t be strange at all if our lips collided right now.

My calm heart started beating faster bit by bit.

My senses became heightened, and all those heightened senses focused on him.

Golden eyes as clear as a lion’s.

The bridge of his nose extending at a beautifully perfect angle.

Perfectly shaped lips.

I engraved every detail of his face into my eyes without missing anything.

As we were taking in each other’s appearance like that, his firmly closed lips finally moved.

“That statement about enjoying your time with me more than with the Emperor… it makes me think improper thoughts.”

“By improper thoughts, you mean…”

I swallowed dryly as I asked.

By this point, I could guess what kind of answer he would give, but I still wanted to hear it directly from his lips.

After a long moment of waiting, the commander finally asked me.

“Are you curious about what improper thoughts I had?”

“…Yes, I’d like to hear.”

“The thought I had was, for example, that you might—”

“Commander! Deputy Commander! So this is where you both were!”

Just as the commander was about to speak about his improper thoughts, Karl suddenly appeared from behind a nearby bush.

Calling out to us loudly as he appeared, Karl then began to walk towards us with heavy steps.

“I came looking for you since you didn’t return for a long time even after I waited.”

The commander, who had been close to me, hurriedly got up from his seat.

“We left our posts vacant for too long. Sorry for worrying you. Let’s go back now. Come, Yulia.”

The commander called out to me and held out his hand.

I gladly grasped that hand and stood up.

For a moment, Karl’s gaze fell on our overlapping hands, but it quickly moved away.

As always, he pointed towards the cave where the other companions would be, wearing a bright smile.

“Shall we go then? Everyone is waiting.”

Afterwards, we walked together towards the cave.

As I followed behind Karl and the commander, I suddenly felt puzzled.

Earlier, I hadn’t even noticed Karl approaching. Had I been that focused on the commander?

I tend to have keen senses, so I can quickly detect anything approaching.

Be it monsters or humans.

But while talking with the commander, I couldn’t sense Karl’s presence at all even though he had come very close to us.

I had been so absorbed in looking into the commander’s eyes.

What was the commander trying to say before Karl arrived?

I glanced at the commander while inwardly pondering that question.

He was just walking silently, looking straight ahead.

With his usual firm gait, as if nothing had happened.

I suddenly thought that it might take quite some time for him to open up again and bring up what he was trying to say earlier.

After spending a night in the cave, we stood by the riverside.

We needed to cross this river to get to where Queen was, but fortunately, crossing it wasn’t difficult.

It was thanks to Elma’s spatial movement ability.

Elma extended her hand and said to the group:

“Now, please hold hands with each other.”

Following Elma’s words, we all joined hands.

When everyone was connected by holding hands, Elma finally activated her ability.

I quietly blinked and waited, and after a while, Elma’s voice was heard.

“We’ve arrived.”

Looking around, I saw that our entire group had already moved to the other side of the river.

Unlike my ability which was noisy when used, Elma’s ability was this quiet.

Silently moving people or objects in contact with her to another location.

That was Elma’s ability.

As I looked around at the scenery that had changed in the blink of an eye, I thought:

Although it’s not an ability that can be used indefinitely, it’s still the best ability for avoiding monsters.

Elma, who had no idea that I was doubting her like this, asked me with a bright face:

“Now that we’ve crossed the river, we just need to go a little further, right?”

“Yes, but we need to be careful. It will be more dangerous than before crossing the river. There are many powerful monsters on this side.”

After saying that, I also warned the commander.

“There are lots of powerful monsters living in this area. I don’t think I’ll be able to detect all of them. We need to be extra vigilant of our surroundings.”

The reason I knew about the monsters’ habitats and the island’s topography so well was purely because I was a regressor.

I told the others that I sensed these things with my almost supernatural intuition, but it was all a lie. I didn’t have such an ability.

I had to warn them in advance because I didn’t have the skill to detect and inform them about all the monsters that might suddenly appear.

At that moment, Karoline, who heard my words, muttered in a small voice:

“Weren’t you able to detect everything?”

“…”

“I thought that’s how it was.”