Lord Preston's Secret Tutor - Chapter 52

“I understand. If that is Miss Somerset’s wish, then it can’t be helped. I will see you next time. Goodbye.”

Evan walked straight towards the carriage. At the same time, Jacqueline turned her back towards the mansion.

She crossed the hallway, listening to the sound of the departing carriage. Suddenly, she stopped walking. Without realizing it, she bit her lip.

Her testimony would be of help to Windsor. Nevertheless, she could not bring herself to nod in agreement.

Jacqueline could not abandon her mother. No matter how heavy a burden she was, she was Jacqueline’s mother.

Even so, she did not go to Parker O’Brien for her mother’s sake.

“……Coward.”

As she berated herself, she raised her head again and strode forward. As she was climbing the stairs, she sensed a presence above. Jacqueline slowly looked up.

“……”

Her eyes met Windsor’s as he was coming down the stairs. In an instant, her expression hardened.

Someday, he would find out. That she had refused the request to be a witness for Windsor’s side.

What would Windsor think then? Would he feel betrayed by her? Or would he understand her situation? Or perhaps, he hadn’t expected anything from her in the first place?

Her chest felt as heavy as if it had a lead weight attached. She couldn’t breathe. She took a deep breath, throwing her shoulders back, but her shrunken lungs didn’t inflate at all.

Jacqueline’s eyes sank endlessly.

At that sight, Windsor let out an icy cold sneer. Jacqueline slightly bowed her head and brushed past him.

At that moment, a chilling voice escaped through Windsor’s teeth.

“What conversation did you have with Mr. Evan Knox?”

Instead of answering, Jacqueline slowly stopped walking. Then she turned around.

Once again, her eyes met Windsor’s. Her gaze standing a few steps above and his a few steps below were in a straight line.

At the same time, she unconsciously tensed her shoulders. The gaze fixed on her was piercingly cold.

She couldn’t understand why. Only that Windsor’s attitude towards her had changed over the past few days. And each time, Jacqueline felt like she was sinking into mud.

Suddenly, a hot lump rose up in her stomach. Intense emotions swirled in her chest.

Her mother had urged her to betray Windsor, and Jacqueline had turned away from her desperate plea. Even knowing her mother would be hurt because of it.

Yet in the meantime, Windsor had treated her coldly. He looked at her with cold eyes and sneered with a chilling voice.

Without knowing anything!

Recalling Evan’s polite attitude towards her just now, she became even angrier at Windsor’s indifference. So Jacqueline glared at him fiercely.

“It was a personal conversation.”

Her voice sharpened as well. Even knowing her actions were just venting her anger, she simply couldn’t stop.

For a moment, Windsor’s eyebrow twitched. He pulled up one corner of his mouth.

“A personal conversation, is it? Did you agree to get engaged to him again?”

“!”

As if hearing something completely unexpected, Jacqueline’s eyes widened. Her round eyes soon changed to a sharp gaze.

She snapped at him fiercely, as if unable to hold back the words rising up.

“Whether I get engaged to Mr. Knox again or not, that’s my private life and it’s not something for you to be concerned about, Lord Preston! Even if you are my employer!”

“If Miss Somerset’s private life affects Benjamin’s education, I think it would be my concern.”

That damned education! Education! Education!

Jacqueline’s mind boiled hot. She was engulfed in anger, not even knowing why she was getting so upset.

Her vision turned bright red. Jacqueline could no longer hold back and burst out.

“For someone so precise, why did you get the time wrong? Benjamin’s afternoon lesson starts an hour from now, not now!”

After firing off those words, she turned around roughly enough to make a whooshing sound. Then she stomped up the stairs.

“……”

Suddenly, she stopped. She whirled her head around and stomped back down the stairs. Then she thrust the glasses she was holding against Windsor’s chest.

Windsor furrowed his brow slightly and slowly lowered his gaze. Jacqueline’s voice was still sharp, and her hand was hot.

“Since you’re so precise about everything, why don’t you take care of your own glasses from now on?”

“It’s fine if Miss Somerset doesn’t take care of them. A servant will put them on my desk.”

“Ah? Then I’ve shown unnecessary concern. I’m sorry, Lord Preston! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to prepare for the lesson!”

She turned around again with an angry expression. This time, she went straight up the stairs without stopping.

Windsor watched her back with furrowed brows, then clenched his fist around the glasses. He too turned around and went down the stairs.

The two walked in opposite directions. They stubbornly didn’t look back, but that was also proof that they were conscious of each other.

Windsor only stopped walking when he reached the living room. He frowned at the bridge of his nose and looked down at the glasses in his hand.

He was in the midst of facing a storm that had blown in without warning. The fierce wind shook his body. The downpour drenched him thoroughly.

The result would probably be one of two things. Either the ship would sink as a result of reckless resistance, or it would barely survive to gaze at the glittering sunlight on the water.

The storm that had blown into the Preston mansion showed no signs of abating anytime soon. Windsor looked up at the bright blue sky outside the window and let out a quiet sigh.

He reflexively reached for his necktie.

***

Jacqueline sometimes couldn’t understand herself. She had always been an emotional person, but recently that range had grown even wider.

Just a moment ago, for example. There was no need to get so angry at Windsor. He had always been interested in Benjamin’s education, so there was nothing wrong with what he said.

Moreover, he doesn’t know what happened in Southfield. He didn’t know what Jacqueline was conflicted about.

So this wasn’t something to get angry at him about. She understood that perfectly well in her head. The problem was…

“It’s strangely cold.”

“Pardon?”

There was a response to her muttering. Only then did Jacqueline snap back to her senses and blink her eyes wide open. Then her eyes met Benjamin’s, who was looking at her.

“It’s nothing.”

“Yes.”

Benjamin nodded and turned his attention back to the book. The child read the ancient text with a deeply thoughtful look.

That too was one of the skills of nobility. The first Bible was written in ancient text, and to understand religion, one needed to be able to read ancient text.

The pen in the child’s hand moved forward little by little, with many hesitations and short scribbles. As Jacqueline watched this impressive sight, she furrowed her brow once again.

Yes, the problem was that Windsor had become strangely cold. It probably wasn’t just her imagination.

The look in his eyes when he saw her, the indifferent tone of his words, the casual way he passed by – she felt an unfamiliar chill in all of these that was different from usual.

It seemed like he was drawing a line between them, or perhaps he was angry with her.

Who’s the one who’s actually angry…

Jacqueline’s eyes drooped dejectedly as she thought that far. No, she wasn’t angry. She just felt hurt.

By Windsor, whose attitude had suddenly changed.

He was still polite to Jacqueline, and maintained proper etiquette. But he no longer had tea time with her, no longer dined with her.

Their secret lessons that no one else knew about had also come to an end.

Why?

She couldn’t understand the reason.

Maybe it’s for the best.

Jacqueline whispered quietly to herself.

Perhaps she would never be able to take anyone’s side in the end. If she took Windsor’s hand, her mother would despair, and if she took her mother’s hand, Windsor would be disappointed.

She would waste time making excuses about finding the best solution, waiting for the situation to pass.

You’re so weak.

Jacqueline let out a bitter self-deprecation at her cowardly self.

“Are you alright, Miss Somerset?”

Benjamin looked at her with a worried expression once again. The light freckles on the bridge of his nose wrinkled slightly.

“Hm? Ah, I’m fine, Benjamin.”

“Should we take a short break and start again?”

Jacqueline gently pulled up the corners of her mouth as she looked at the child’s eyes, which were as shiny as Colin’s. Benjamin let out a faint sigh of relief at her smile.

“I wish Lord Preston was half as kind as you.”

“Um… Uncle?”

The child rolled his eyes with an expression that couldn’t adapt to the two words that suddenly came out. As if there were no words less fitting than ‘Windsor’ and ‘kindness’.

But Jacqueline knew of his kindness hidden beneath his brusqueness.

Whenever she discovered it, she felt very pleased. Like biting into a cranberry hidden inside a piece of bread.

In the end, Jacqueline let out a light sigh and added one more comment as if complaining.

“Actually, I know. That Lord Preston is quite a kind person.”

“…Yes.”

The child averted his gaze slightly with an expression as perplexed as when he was asked about Jacqueline’s drawings.

And he picked up the pen he had put down. His eyes interpreting the ancient text instantly took on a serious light. As if completely blocking off her question.

“The problem isn’t Lord Preston, but me.”

A small voice scattered between her teeth, soft enough not to reach Benjamin. Yes, the problem wasn’t him, but Jacqueline.

She who couldn’t make any decision, and was only carrying a huge sense of guilt.

She who was only dragging out foolish emotions, not wanting to hurt either her mother or Windsor.

Jacqueline’s eyes sank darkly. The problem was her, but the answer was still not in sight. The lead weight attached to her heart only grew heavier day by day.

***

Night is a time when thoughts multiply. When silent stillness covers everything, the thoughts that had been holding their breath during the day finally begin to stretch out slowly.

Not that these thoughts were anything grand. Usually, they were embarrassing mistakes from long ago, or impossible futures.

For example, memories of ripping her dress while climbing over the boarding school fence, or an absurd fantasy of her father, whom she thought was dead, returning alive as the captain of a treasure ship.

But tonight was different.

Jacqueline shook her head lightly and looked down at the blank paper on her desk. She had tried to write, but her mind was filled only with her mother’s face.

Her mother’s voice pursued her more persistently the more she tried to push it away, like a tenacious mosquito.