“I’ll let the kitchen know.”

Technically, ordinary maids could handle such tasks. Tula was second only to me in power in this palace.

But Tula insisted on taking care of all my needs unless I asked someone else. It seemed that’s what nannies did.

I let Tula do as she wished, finding it easier to trust her with everything. I needed to cultivate this thoroughbred horse I’d acquired and be cautious around the Empress Dowager for a while. Not having to send Tula out meant more leeway than originally planned.

But this ease was for Tula, not for me.

“Being in a young body is so inconvenient.”

I sighed deeply as Tula left the room. An old body has its discomforts, but after decades, I’d grown accustomed to it. A young body, however, felt awkward and irritating.

Unable to get off a chair alone, needing to eat balanced meals three times a day, and spending half the day asleep.

“When will I grow up?”

If I could close my eyes and open them to find ten years had passed, it would be great. At least then, I wouldn’t have to give up anything due to physical limitations.

I pressed my small, plump hands to my eyes. In my previous life, my friends used to rave about the joy of living life again.

How wonderful and exciting it must be to live a young, fresh life with all the answers to the world’s questions.

But my opinion remains unchanged, both then and now. I see no need to walk the path twice. I miss my old, declining body that obeyed my will immediately.

Others might not understand, but that was my true life.

As I idly toyed with my soup, Tula brought me a letter.

“The Grand Duke has sent a letter.”

Hopefully, he isn’t planning to visit again today. I asked Tula for a paper knife with a hint of anxiety.

“Here it is, Your Highness.”

Tula, handling the task for me as I still struggled with a paper knife, opened the envelope and took out the letter inside.
[Have dinner a bit early tonight and keep the evening free.]

The message was abrupt, but I instinctively knew what it meant. Ah. The Empress Dowager is planning to call me.

Just the other day, at dinner, the Empress mentioned that the Emperor, Empress, and the Grand Duke dine together every evening.

So, it’s unlikely they would call me for something other than dinner during that time. Then the only reason to have dinner early and free up the evening, as the Grand Duke would suggest, must be the Empress Dowager.

“Tula. Tell the kitchen to prepare dinner two hours earlier today.”

“Yes.”

My appetite was still lacking, but to meet the empire’s highest-ranking elder, I needed to be fully prepared. I aggressively soaked bread in my soup and ate it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. The adults will like me.”

I muttered to myself as if brainwashing. Even though it was true, it sounded uncertain because it had been so long since I last heard it.

But it was true. Younger children think I’m strict, my peers see me as a rival and keep their distance, but those older than me have always found me impressive.

The elders I met were all high-ranking officials, so they had no reason to feel threatened by me. By the time I could have been a threat to them, they had either retired or passed away.

Yes. This is a situation I can predict and be confident about.

The affection poured on me by the Empress and the hostages confused me because I had never received such attention from someone in their late teens or early to mid-twenties. But with someone the age of the Empress Dowager, it’s different. I know how to be endearing to them.

“…Just need to reset my mindset.”

All I need is to recall memories from decades ago.

I exercised my facial muscles, organizing my expressions. Unlike the younger children who preferred me speaking in a childish lisp, the Empress Dowager would probably appreciate it more if I behaved in a more mature manner.