During the past few days without Vivian by his side, Ren had been contemplating for a long time.
How he could reconcile with her.
He deeply pondered while suppressing the urge to go find her right away. It was because he didn’t want to ruin things out of impatience.
He had no desire to incur her hatred any further.
As it was the first time he had earned Vivian’s hatred to this extent, Ren endlessly thought about how he should handle it when he faced her again.
So he prepared several scripts together with the Master.
He had prepared answers in advance for all possible scenarios she might act out, and wrote them down as scripts.
Over the past few days, he even memorized over 15 pages of scripts as an extra measure.
Some might describe such actions for reconciliation as pathetic.
However, Ren was willing to be as pathetic as necessary if it meant being with Vivian.
No, even if she told him to crawl on the ground and bow his head, he would gladly follow.
That’s what Vivian meant to him.
The first light he encountered at the end of a rock-bottom life. He wasn’t foolish enough to let go of such an existence.
‘I made a mistake last time, but it won’t happen again.’
This time, he had to somehow obtain forgiveness from her who had been disappointed in him.
He steeled his resolve and visited the Belvedere mansion.
And while waiting for her in the reception room, he endlessly went over the contents of the script.
It had to be perfect. To be forgiven.
Just as he was extremely nervous, someone entered the reception room.
It was Vivian.
Her face, which he hadn’t seen in a while, looked more tired than usual.
He had thought she was doing well at the mansion, but was that not the case?
‘……’
Ren was about to blurt out the lines he had prepared.
But the moment their eyes met, his mind went completely blank.
The script he had memorized for a whole week vanished as if it had never existed, not a single line coming to mind.
His throat choked up. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but no voice came out.
His eyes grew hot.
“……Lady Vivian.”
He managed to call out her name. His voice was completely cracked.
And then soon after…
Plop.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. Tears poured out as if a dam had burst.
At that moment, Ren felt utterly pathetic, like he wanted to die.
The purpose of coming all the way here wasn’t to show such a sight.
He needed to either beg her forgiveness or kneel down, but his body wouldn’t move as he wished.
He couldn’t understand himself. The one who should be crying would be Vivian who had been betrayed. Why was he the one crying?
Meanwhile, Ren wasn’t the only one having such thoughts.
Vivian, who had hurried her steps to the reception room to meet him, was taken aback by the sight of Ren shedding tears the moment their eyes met.
“Ren? What’s wrong, why are you crying?”
She approached him in one swift move. He tried to hide his face by turning his head away, as if he didn’t want to show such an unsightly appearance.
Vivian became confused.
For a moment, she noticed the servants in the reception room lowering their heads, deliberately trying not to look this way.
‘This won’t do. I need to take Ren out of here first.’
She didn’t want to put on a tearful reconciliation show in someone else’s mansion. That would be inconsiderate.
‘Besides, there’s nothing special I can do by staying here any longer.’
Since she had successfully prevented the Belvedere tragedy, there was no need to stay at the mansion any longer.
After organizing her thoughts, she decided to return home first.
“I apologize. I’ll take this friend with me. Please give my regards to Dietrich.”
After informing a nearby maid like that, she supported Ren and left.
They headed straight for the hideout. Throughout their walk together, Ren continued to shed tears like a leaky faucet.
Worried that he might collapse from exhaustion, Vivian handed him water as soon as they arrived at the hideout.
“So, why did you come all the way there?”
Vivian glanced sideways at Ren, who still showed no signs of calming down.
Although his crying appearance was pitiful, she was still annoyed. It was natural, given that he had hidden the fact that he was Callys for such a long time.
At that gaze, Ren hung his head low and mumbled.
“……I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Lady Vivian. Please don’t hate me. I was wrong.”
It was the first time seeing him respond so incoherently. Vivian gently patted his back with her hand.
While doing so, she didn’t forget to say what needed to be said.
“Ren, why are you crying? Honestly, shouldn’t I be the one crying since I was betrayed?”
“I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t intend to deceive or betray you… I just, I just wanted to keep being with you, Lady Vivian. If you found out that I was Callys…”
“If I found out?”
“I felt like we couldn’t be together anymore. I really, really hated that thought…”
Although his answers were interrupted by sobs, it wasn’t difficult to understand.
Vivian moved her hand from patting his back to stroking his head.
“Alright, I forgive you.”
In truth, Vivian had intended to accept his apology from the start.
She had merely postponed it because there were many preparations to make in order to prevent the Belvedere tragedy.
She did feel greatly betrayed. It was true that he had deceived her.
But still. Even if Ren had deceived her, Vivian believed it wasn’t for the purpose of truly deceiving her.
At least the look in his eyes when following her had always been sincere, so she decided to trust him once more.
“So stop crying now. When you cry, it makes me sad too, okay?”
Ren eventually buried his face in Vivian’s shoulder.
Her shoulder began to feel damp. Vivian wrapped her arms around his waist and continued to pat him.
‘It seems he suffered a lot emotionally while I was away. Well, it’s the first time we’ve fought this badly.’
No, to be precise, Vivian and Ren had never quarreled even once.
While Vivian’s personality of disliking fights played a part, the decisive reason was that Ren had always accommodated her.
That’s how the two of them had lived for over a year.
With such a relationship suddenly on the verge of collapse, it was understandable that Ren would break down in tears.
As she continued to stroke his broad back, Ren’s breathing gradually calmed down. Vivian found this situation somehow enjoyable.
“It was always my role to cry like this, but today it’s the opposite, huh?”
Intentionally teasing him a bit, he whispered in her ear with a slightly hoarse voice.
“I always held you much tighter than this, you know.”
Look at this guy? Seeing him make such jokes, it seemed his mood had improved a little as well.
Although it would have been fine to separate now, Vivian hugged him a bit tighter as he wanted.
She had learned well from experience how comforting a person’s embrace can be when feeling upset.
Ren also hugged her back more tightly.
“……I never want to grow distant from you again over something like this, Lady Vivian.”
“Me neither. So let me ask you this, Ren. You’re not hiding anything else from me, right?”
At her sudden question, Ren hesitated for a moment.
Whether he was hiding anything else?
On the contrary, he had concealed so many things from her that he was at a loss for where to begin.
From taking control of the Gerald Information Guild to avoid being discovered as Callys, to the fact that he was the culprit behind the murder case that occurred after the Crown Princess’s birthday banquet.
He had thoroughly concealed stories that would shock Vivian if she heard them.
Ren pondered in his mind for a moment. Whether it would be better to reveal this now.
But soon he concluded to bury it all.
Even when she learned he was Callys, Vivian had felt greatly betrayed.
Although the atmosphere now seemed forgiving of any statement, revealing everything might disappoint her in him again.
‘She might truly not forgive me then.’
Ren inwardly resolved once more that he must never let her find out about the things he had done.
He evasively dodged Vivian’s question.
“Of course not. But I have something I want to ask you too.”
“Okay, what is it?”
Vivian released her arms from the embrace and pushed him away. Their eyes met.
Ren slightly averted his gaze, embarrassed to fully show his face which must have been a mess from crying.
“……Do you remember saying that Callys had his own destiny?”
“Huh? Did I say something like that?”
Ren nodded.
“Then, do I have to follow that destiny?”
“Ah……”
Vivian fell silent. Only then could she understand why Ren had been deceiving her.
‘Was he afraid I would tell him to live like the original Callys?’
She felt sorry for Ren. She had only resented him for betrayal, not knowing he harbored such concerns.
“No. Ren, you can live your life as you want. There’s no such thing as destiny in this world.”
“Then is it alright if I don’t separate from you, Lady Vivian?”
Vivian was once again at a loss for words at the question that immediately followed. His voice was too desperate.
“Yes, if that’s what Ren wants. But while this isn’t your destiny, there is a place that needs your power.”
Vivian decided to reveal everything to Ren.
__________
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me (Female-dominant)
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.