I focused all my attention on the conversation in the room.

I didn’t know how long this dream I entered after death would last, but it was related to the Grand Duke of the North.

The Grand Duke of the North, Sion Belfast.
His final appearance flickered before my eyes.
Medeia responded in a dignified yet confident tone.

“I was truly impressed by how you used the northern knights to eradicate the barbarians in the southern empire without shedding a single drop of blood. Ah, so this is politics. Father, you protected your people with strategy alone.”

“Politics requires foresight to see ahead and patience to wait for the right moment. Belfast had no choice but to comply with my demands, even knowing he would lose his soldiers, because he was inferior to Lahert in every way.”

“I’m so glad His Majesty the Emperor is on our side.”
Medeia said in an excited voice.

It is said that after losing his son, the Emperor, shocked and suffering from a mental illness, began to find comfort in Lahert’s silver tongue.

Around the time the Northern Grand Duke Sion Belfast was sentenced for treason, the Emperor would listen to no noble’s words except those of Grand Duke Lahert.

As an assassin, I heard rumors that the Northern Grand Duke’s journey to the south was not solely due to Lahert’s schemes. Perhaps it was because the Emperor had lent his support to those schemes.

The order to suppress the barbarians in the southern empire fell to Lahert, but the Duke persuaded the Emperor to request reinforcements from the north. Of course, the north refused.

It would have been better for the central army to aid the south than to travel for a month non-stop from the northern end of the empire to the south.

So Lahert stood by as countless southern citizens were killed by barbarians. And he blamed the Northern Grand Duke for it.

Sion Belfast, the Northern Grand Duke, must have marched all the way to this distant south solely for the sake of the people. Probably, given his nature.

But Lahert made Belfast the perpetrator. The arrogant and evil northern brat who wouldn’t help the poor southern Grand Duke, himself.

Lahert always portrayed the militarily powerful north as the strong, and himself, without any proper private army, as the weak. Though only the Emperor believed those words.

The Emperor seemed to think of Sion Belfast as the perpetrator and Cramnel Lahert as the victim.

[Is it pity?] [It’s interest.]

The Grand Duke’s answer to my question as he died in chains.

Interest.
That single word was piercingly warm. And achingly sad.

He didn’t say he hated the dog of his sworn enemy with the contorted face, the white butterfly that drove his retainers to their deaths… Until the very end.

He pitied me. I don’t know why, but I could feel it when I looked into his eyes.

It started to rain.

“This time, we must cut off all of Belfast’s limbs.”

Medeia agreed with the Duke’s words. Then she added:

“Father, His Majesty the Emperor sent a letter inviting me to the next tea party.”

“Oh ho! Medeia. It seems he’s taking more and more of a liking to you.”

“Yes, it seems so. I intend to play the role of granddaughter wholeheartedly, so that His Majesty’s heart is filled with me, Medeia Lahert.”

“But it won’t be easy. He still can’t let go of his lingering attachment to his missing granddaughter.”

Granddaughter.
A corner of my heart ached.

At that moment, a cold and dignified voice filled the room.

“His Majesty is a fool who doesn’t know that his own flesh and blood has become my servant.”

It was Medeia. She called the Emperor a fool.

“I feel thrilled every time that girl looks at me with affectionate eyes, Father.”

“Be prepared to kill her at any time.”

“No, it’s fun. I’m a noble of a different class who commands the only blood relative of the imperial family. I’m learning through that child that being of imperial blood doesn’t make one smart. Those fools need to be suppressed with ability. I’ll prove that it’s ability, not bloodline, that qualifies one to rule.”

“Haha, Medeia. How I wish you were my son and Cahen my daughter.”

The Duke left with a hearty laugh.

After her father left, Medeia pulled a bell rope to summon a maid.

“The guest?”

“Waiting as you ordered, My Lady.”

As I heard Medeia leave her room, I let out a long sigh. I lifted my head to look at the night sky where a thunderstorm was beginning. Cold raindrops tapped on my half-mask and contorted cheek.

If only I had known these things before I died.

Bitter regret tore my heart to shreds.

Oh God.
I clearly died, so why am I wandering in a dream?
Is this your final consideration, to let me know the truth I didn’t know?

After shaking off the rainwater, I went back into Medeia’s room. Then I took out the jewel box containing my mother’s dagger.

Even if it was a dream, I didn’t want to leave my mother’s possession near Medeia any longer.

With trembling hands, I grasped the blue handle of the dagger. My mother’s keepsake that I couldn’t reach out to grasp even in my dying moment.

But.

As I grabbed the handle, inexplicable scenes appeared before my eyes. It felt as if I was being sucked into some real event that had happened.

A woman with long green hair and sky-blue eyes was running away, holding a child who looked about three or four years old. A group of armed men was chasing after her.

Deep in a coniferous forest.

The fleeing woman finally stumbled and fell. The child, awakened, began to cry. The woman took out a blue-handled dagger from her bosom.

Then she grasped the blade of the dagger. Blood flowing from the woman’s palm began to stain the dagger.

The woman closed her eyes and muttered something under her breath. It was a sacred sight, as if she were praying.

A moment later, a transparently shining aurora enveloped the dagger and the woman’s child. As if connecting the dagger and the child.

“Sacred light, merciful mother. Please, I offer my life, so watch over this child. If this child should face death, then look upon my life and allow ‘one more’ return to life. Grant a second life, Hela.”

Then the transparent light spread widely, enveloping the dagger and the child.

“Is that the woman?!”

“Yes, the saint of the fallen country.”

A soldier who had caught up stomped on the saint’s back. Shortly after, a young Cramnel Lahert stepped forward. His sword pierced the body of the saint, my mother.

Mother quietly reached out to caress my cheek. Two snow-white cheeks, sky-blue eyes. My face was completely unmarred.

“My baby, Esther. Mama will always be with…”

My mother’s hand that was touching my cheek fell limply. The memory shown by the dagger ended.

I quietly removed the mask covering half of my face. The unmarred half of my face that I had to cover since I was five years old. This was my real face.

Tears flowed endlessly.

Ah, this was not a dream. Nor was it in the resentment of the dead.

I have returned to the time right after Sion Belfast, the Northern Grand Duke, defeated the southern barbarians. I have regressed to the winter of my 19th year.

“It was reality. Real reality.”

This is reality.

The second life my mother gave by sacrificing her own.

I collapsed on the spot.

***

It didn’t take long to accept the truth.

Numbly chewing and swallowing my breaths, I carefully retraced everything that had happened from the day I died until now.

Then suddenly a thought flashed through my mind.

Why now?

Why did the god my mother called regress me to this moment?

What is your will?

I put my mother’s dagger back in the jewel box where it originally was. I judged there was no need to deliberately create something different from my previous life until I realized the reason for coming back to this time.

I left Medeia’s bedroom and walked and walked through the empty Lahel Forest.

What can I do in this life?

Revenge against Medeia and the Southern Grand Duke’s family. Revealing my identity as the Emperor’s true granddaughter, and thus returning to my real status as an imperial princess.

Separating Lahert, who will drive the empire to ruin, from the Emperor?

Thoughts continued to link one after another.

But those thoughts were fragmented by constantly arising reflections about someone.

What I can do in this life, saving the Northern Grand Duke Sion Belfast.

My steps that had been striding forward stopped.

Why? Why should I save Sion Belfast?

There was only one answer.

He was right.

Even when the Southern Grand Duke committed evil acts, even when the Emperor made wrong judgments, he did what he believed was right, not what would benefit himself.

And his judgment was correct.

Compared to the Northern Grand Duke, Sion Belfast, I…

As an assassin, I killed innocent lives just because they were my master’s sworn enemies.

A nineteen-year-old aspiring assassin of the Grand Duke’s family, a monster with half a distorted face.

Could someone like me reach the Emperor? Who would listen to my words? No, could I even escape Medeia’s eyes in the first place?

It won’t be easy. Maybe it’s even impossible.

But if I could save Grand Duke Sion Belfast. If only our first encounter could start as a true connection rather than an ill-fated one.

Couldn’t the future be different?

Why did I return to ‘now’?

The day after tomorrow, the Northern Grand Duke will come here to the Southern Grand Duke’s residence.

I finally realized why I came back to this time.

To prevent the death of Arcadia Nugent, the right-hand man of the Northern Grand Duke. And thus, to stop all the tragedies of my previous life from the very beginning.

That was it.

Perhaps it wasn’t a realization, but my choice.

‘I will set that as the first destiny of my life this time.’

Looking up at the sky, I spoke to the god who resurrected me, to my mother.

I want to live a different life from my previous one.

I want to live as my true self before meeting Lahert, not as the dirty assassin, the white butterfly.

‘But what is my true self…?’

***

The next day, I went to the training ground. There, two assassin trainees were fighting.

One was the freckled boy with straw-colored hair who had come to the underground of the main castle to fetch me yesterday. The other was the boy who had been the eternal second place, the red worm who had lost to me until the very end in my previous life.

Those two wouldn’t know. That among the dozen or so of us, only I would survive.

Even the second-place boy died at the hands of the black bug at the end, just for being second.

“The Northern Grand Duke is really shameless. After all the damage the south suffered, he asks for a victory celebration? It’s like saying the blood shed by the people means nothing.”

The eternal second ranted. The freckled boy retorted angrily.

“Keep quiet if you don’t know! You don’t even know how far it is from the north to the southern border!”

That freckled boy, wasn’t his hometown in the north?

The two clashed fiercely even in the real sword duel. I, excluded from the duel due to disciplinary action from yesterday’s incident, watched the two fight.

But surprisingly, the freckled boy, showing unexpected spirit, defeated the second place. A child who had always remained in third place behind us two…

When the match was decided, the black bug took the freckled boy, no, the yellow worm as he used to be called, somewhere.

I sensed it. The reason why the black bug took him away.

The yellow worm will receive orders to assassinate Arcadia. In my previous life, I was the winner of today’s duel, so the black bug gave me that order.

***

I waited for the yellow worm who would have received the mission. He flinched when he saw me standing at a deserted forest path.

“Why are you so surprised?”

“Su-surprised? I just didn’t expect anyone to be here and heard a sound.”

“Huh, because I moved.”

The boy’s face was a little flushed. Perhaps because he had been told to keep the order secret.

Anyway, the Northern Grand Duke, who had won a great victory in the southern border region, will visit this place tomorrow.

He will stay here for three days before leaving. During that time, I must protect Arcadia and form a new relationship with Sion Belfast.

Slowly, I removed the half-mask covering my face. And I stared at the yellow worm. He seemed shocked and couldn’t take his eyes off me.

No, to be precise, he couldn’t take his eyes off the unmarred half of my face.

“Yellow worm, I don’t know what order you received, but it would be better to think carefully. If you don’t want to end up like me.”

He was flustered. The face I revealed to stimulate fear and threaten him seemed to have an effect.

“Wh-what order?”

“Whatever it is.”

I turned away from him. Then, he called out to me.

“Are you going to the Northern Grand Duke’s victory celebration tomorrow too?”

“We’re not allowed to go outside the castle. Don’t you know?”

“I know. But…”

He trailed off. Then, as if gathering courage, he opened his mouth.

“I heard it’s going to be the most miserable victory celebration ever seen anywhere in the world. I overheard the maid who serves food talking about it. I don’t like that.”

The yellow worm left before I could answer.

Don’t like a miserable victory celebration?

Come to think of it, that kid also took the side of the north when fighting with the eternal second earlier.

I already know what will happen during tomorrow’s victory procession.

In my previous life, Lahert planned a ‘silent victory celebration’ and carried it out as planned. He had intimidated the domain people who came to see the Northern Grand Duke, forbidding them from uttering any words of welcome or cheers. And then…

Lahert attached huge lily of the valley pouches to the welcome fireworks and burst them in mid-air.

The lily of the valley, symbolizing the north, fell to the ground as powder, and the northern knights had to trample on the flowers symbolizing themselves as they passed.

The so-called ‘Humiliating Return’ incident that long remained on the lips of gossips.

I didn’t want to greet the Northern Grand Duke, whom I met again in this new life, like that.

Where did they get so many lilies of the valley?

I remember hearing it was somewhere in the Lahel Forest.

I’m not sure, but I heard there was a hidden lily of the valley colony in this forest.

I wandered aimlessly through the forest.

What do I want to confirm?

Then I went to the farthest place I had never been before, and finally discovered a vast field of lilies of the valley in front of some enormous wall. However, the flowers in the colony had almost disappeared.

‘So it’s the same this time too?’

That night.

I climbed to the highest tower of the main castle where the fireworks would be prepared. Following the long ignition cord up, there were enormous amounts of gunpowder and lily of the valley pouches connected to the gunpowder.

I thought it couldn’t be, but indeed.

I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at Lahert’s pettiness. Unlike my previous life, this was a victory celebration formally requested by the Northern Grand Duke.

This was not right, even for the most powerful person backed by the Emperor. In reality, the Northern Grand Duke’s family had incomparable lineage and history compared to the Southern Grand Duke’s family.

[Bella. May your soul emerge from the darkness.]

I closed my eyes at your words echoing in my heart.

Your Grace, Grand Duke Belfast, what did my soul look like in your eyes?

Can you find my true self?

I climbed up and down the tower several times, removing all the lily of the valley pouches. Then I connected pouches of jasmine I had been picking all day to the gunpowder.

Red jasmine, Medeia’s favorite.

The flower symbolizing Lahert, blooming everywhere in the Lahel Forest. There was enough to create a flower path for several renas in front of the main castle, with plenty to spare.

Sion Belfast, this is my first gift of atonement to you.

I hope that in this life, I can reach you as my true, sincere self.