In This Life, I'll Assist You - Chapter 21

That evening, the entire knight’s order gathered together in the not-so-cold evening breeze.

Sitting on the long table arranged on the plain and eating together in groups of three and five was an experience I was having for the first time in my life.

I sat in the lowest seat and helped Yora eat. For him, who had difficulty chewing after his tongue was cut, I brought the most tender parts of the meat.

Yora, who had once crossed swords with me. Seeing him eat weakly made my heart ache again. And it made me angry.

‘Medeia. You will never be forgiven.’

Yora must have read my expression, for he said,

“It’th okay, Ethter. (It’s okay, Esther.)”

“Yes. Let’s eat a lot, Yora. You, no, we are eating something this delicious for the first time.”

That’s when it happened.

The sound of horse hooves approaching from afar could be heard.

The knights with keen ears stopped eating all at once.

The Grand Duke, who was sitting at the head of the table, slowly stood up. He looked into the distance and quietly opened his mouth.

“Lucella. The Emperor’s messenger.”

After a while, a golden flag embroidered with gold swords really appeared from beyond the horizon.

‘Grand Duke, your eyesight is truly incredible.’

At that moment.

The morning of the day of the victory ceremony, the tower where jasmine flowers fell.

I remembered the Grand Duke looking at the top of the tower where I stood.

I had thought our eyes had met inadvertently at that time.

Could it be that he had really discovered me then?

I looked at Sion Belfast’s side profile as he gazed into the distance.

Shortly after, the Emperor’s messenger and his assistant arrived in front of the Grand Duke, stepping on the freshly sprouted grass. The messenger bowed his head to pay his respects.

“The Emperor’s messenger greets the shield who must go to the North, Your Highness Grand Duke Belfast.”

‘Who must go to the North.’

The nuance is strange.

It sounds like it means he shouldn’t be here.

However, the Grand Duke spoke as if it was nothing.

“What is the matter?”

“His Majesty the Emperor is waiting for Your Highness to come to the capital quickly and visit the Imperial Palace.”

“Can you tell me the reason?”

The messenger rolled his eyes for a moment and bowed his head as if embarrassed.

“Well… you will have to go and see for yourself. It seems that there may be a matter that requires the approval of Your Highnesses the Grand Dukes…”

The messenger trailed off.

‘Your Highnesses?’

“If you say ‘Highnesses’, does it mean Grand Duke Lahert must also go to the Imperial Palace?”

“Yes. He is already there.”

At the messenger’s answer, Belfast was silent for a moment.

“Anything else to convey?”

“No, Your Highness.”

The Emperor’s will brought by the messenger did not include any content inquiring about the Grand Duke’s well-being or praising the merit of driving back the barbarians.

I found that regrettable and lonely.

I’m sure the other knights felt the same way.

The messenger left immediately.

In the remaining silence, the Grand Duke called Arcadia.

“Prepare the fastest horse and send it to the capital right now. You’ll have to take a different route than the Emperor’s messenger.”

“Yes, you mean to find out what happened at the Imperial Palace, right?”

“That’s right.”

“I will go myself.”

“Thank you. Duke Nugent.”

Arcadia’s white horse set off towards where the sun had set. It was as fast as a bird.

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That night, sleep did not come easily.

The Emperor.

In my previous life, I had seen him briefly from a very far distance. The old man with white, ashen silver hair who looked lonely.

My grandfather, whom I don’t even know what he looks like properly, whom I have never exchanged a single word with.

From here to the North, it takes about a month even if you hurry. I thought he wouldn’t be able to stop by the capital since he couldn’t leave the North unattended for long.

But he’s going to the capital, to the Imperial Palace at that.

‘Why does my heart feel heavy?’

A feeling of my heart being squeezed.

In the center of the capital is the Imperial Palace, and in the center of that Imperial Palace is my only blood relative. The Emperor of the Empire who, manipulated by the ‘Serpent’s Tongue’, drove the Grand Duke to death.

I won’t let that happen again in this life.

But he’s already one step, no, several steps ahead of the Emperor. That Lahert.

‘What could be the reason for summoning the Northern Grand Duke?’

It’s clear it’s not simply to praise his merits. The messenger said it was a matter that required the ‘approval of the Grand Dukes’.

What could be the matter that requires approval?

Could it be related to the South’s attempt to assassinate the Northern Grand Duke?

With a bad feeling, I paced around the barracks and eventually ended up going outside.

Unlike the evening, the wind touching my cheeks was cold when night fell.

‘What could the Grand Duke be doing?’

He sent his adjutant Duke Nugent, whom he could consult with, to the capital’s residence first. Who could he be sharing his concerns with now?

My steps unconsciously headed towards the Grand Duke’s barracks.

“Miss Esther, where are you going?”

I lifted my head with a start at Moby’s sudden voice.

Commander Moby was carrying a tray with a pristine white teapot, cups, and herbs for brewing tea.

“Ah, Commander. I was just walking around.”

“Aren’t you tired? After fighting so much today.”

“Yes. No, I’m a little tired but I’m alright.”

“The new mask suits you very well, it makes me proud.”

The commander smiled brightly at me. Then he looked up at the moon in the sky once.

“Thank you. But where are you headed, Commander?”

“To bring it to His Highness the Grand Duke. The light in his barracks is still on.”

It’s a chance to talk to the Grand Duke.

“Could I perhaps bring it to him instead?”

At my words, Commander Moby hesitated for a moment.

“I wanted to express my gratitude to him in many ways, but I haven’t been able to yet. I’m still his attendant too.”

“Hmm.”

“And he said he had something to ask me about Lahert…”

“Ah, then could I ask you a favor?”

The commander handed me the tray with the tea set.

“If you have any good information for our young master, no, His Highness the Grand Duke, make sure to let him know.”

Moby looked towards the Grand Duke’s barracks with a worried face and then returned to the kitchen.

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“Your Highness, are you asleep by any chance?”

After a while, the Grand Duke’s voice came from inside the barracks. A slightly subdued tone.

“No. Not yet. You may come in.”

When I drew back the door and entered, I saw the Grand Duke sitting alone at the table. He seemed to have just woken up from deep thought.

Through the flickering candlelight, I could see his face cast in shadows. His blue eyes, which had eaten the darkness as night fell, showed a bit of surprise as they looked at the tea and me.

“Why you?”

“I came in place of Commander Moby. He said it seemed you hadn’t fallen asleep yet, and prepared a calming tea for you.”

“I thought as of today, you were no longer my attendant.”

“What? Why do you say that?”

“I can’t make someone who is to become a knight serve as an attendant, can I?”

The Grand Duke gazed at me with a crooked smile. It was the gaze of someone observing what reaction I would show.

A knight.

Is that so? Does he think of me to that extent?

I’m grateful.

Without realizing it, I opened my mouth.

“Regardless of whether I’m an attendant or a knight, I don’t mind any position where I can assist Your Highness. I don’t mind being an attendant and a knight at the same time. Because you…”

The Grand Duke waits for me to continue.

“Saved me.”

Without turning away.

“Ah, I see. In the South.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t need to be that grateful to me, for that. Is that really the only reason you came at this hour?”

A blunt but cold question.

I spoke honestly.

“I came because I had something I wanted to ask.”

“What is it?”

“I was curious about what kind of matter would require the approval of Your Highnesses the Grand Dukes.”

A short silence followed. After a while, the Grand Duke spoke.

“Why are you curious about that?”

“…Because it’s Your Highness’ matter.”

The words flowed out without me realizing it.

“Would you like to sit for a bit?”

“Yes.”

I sat next to him. Then he got up from his seat and walked towards the kettle boiling inside the pechka stove.

I quickly got up from my seat, but he stopped me.

“Ah, this is my barracks, so I’ll do it.”

“But…”

“I have something to ask you, so could you allow me to serve the tea?”

“I’m so ashamed. To someone lowly like me…”

“My people are not lowly. I said you were my person when I brought you with me. Did you forget?”

The words ‘my person’ pierced my heart like a needle.

[I came to tell you that you ended up coming to the North with me. From today, you are the ‘only one I wanted’, so you are my subject. That’s why I came in person.]

How could I forget?

You came down to my humble abode and relentlessly drove Medeia away, saying you wanted me.

“I remember. How could I forget that gratitude?”

The Grand Duke silently put hot water and herbs into the cup in front of me. The fragrant scent of lavender spread throughout the barracks.

As he sat down, he said,

“In this Empire, there are two Grand Dukes. Matters that require the approval of the Grand Dukes are as follows: When making decisions related to the fate of the Empire, such as war. When determining and approving budgets such as the annual tax. And when giving any ratification related to the well-being of the imperial family.”

“The well-being of the imperial family…”

I unconsciously murmured in a small voice.

“That’s right. Because I’m in the North, I almost never attend the Empire’s annual budget resolution meeting. I would review the budget plan that came in documents and express my approval through a messenger. But at some point, whenever that time of year came around, His Majesty’s orders would come down for me to go to the far borders. Ordering me to go on an expedition or strengthen the guard.”

His Majesty’s orders?

Could it be because of Lahert’s scheming?

“And at some point, I started approving those documents without properly reviewing them. Using the excuse that I was in a place where lives were on the line, I neglected my responsibility, but that’s just an excuse.”

“An excuse, you say?”

“Yes.”

The Grand Duke, who is strict to the point of being harsh on himself.

The Grand Duke’s gaze seemed to be reaching somewhere far away, not this barracks.

You must have had no choice but to run away. Because you thought that was the only way to protect your people.

The Grand Duke opened his mouth.

“It was the wrong judgment. In the end, it ended in failure.”

“?”

What does he mean?

Saying it ended in failure. As if he had already seen that end.

When I looked at him, not understanding the meaning of those words, the Grand Duke met my gaze.

“Spring is coming soon. The time to approve the budget is approaching. But if it was about that matter, there would be no reason for the messenger to be unable to answer properly in front of me.”

“……”

“There is no enemy or reason to start a war right now, so the remaining one that requires approval is some kind of ratification related to the well-being of the imperial family.”

Then…

“Are you thinking, Your Highness, that the messenger came because of some matter related to the imperial family?”

“What do you think?”

The Grand Duke’s eyes, which had grown deeper in the faint light, calmly stared at me.

“If it’s a matter related to taxes, I hope that this time, you will properly stay in the capital to handle it. But if it was only because of that, the Southern Grand Duke wouldn’t have arrived at the capital so urgently already. There must be another reason.”

At my answer, the Grand Duke showed a faint smile.

“I agree.”

I carefully took a sip of the warm tea the Grand Duke gave me.

“Esther.”

“Yes.”

“Why do you help me?”

Again, a similar question.

“I have… already told you before.”

“Is there no other reason besides that? Besides the South being wrong and the North being right.”

“I want to… bring down the South.”

It’s the truth.

In front of the Grand Duke, I must only speak the truths I can tell.

“Bring them down… The reason?”

For a moment, I didn’t know how to answer. He asked again.

“Then let me ask differently. Is there something you want from me, Esther?”

This question was disconcerting.

The Grand Duke stared at me as if to pierce through my eyes.

What is the truth I can answer to this question? Esther.

I found the answer.

“I hope that Your Highness will not be defeated by the South. I hope you will win and set this Empire right.”

“Then what do you gain from that?”

“Perhaps… a sense of purpose in life?”

I gave an absurd answer.

But the Grand Duke let out a small chuckle.

There it is again. That sincere, wind-like laughter.

“Esther, I don’t fully trust you yet.”

‘I know.’

“But I’ve decided. To use you.”

It hurt my heart a little, but on the other hand, it was reassuring. It was also what I wanted to hear.

“Please use me. By all means.”

“I will.”

He looked at me again with deepened eyes. To be exact, at my sky-blue eyes.

“I will use you to the extent that you don’t get hurt.”

‘Please, use me. I have already decided to dedicate this life to you.’

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By riding horses without rest, the knight’s order arrived at the capital in two days.

I also entered the Northern Grand Duke’s capital residence, carried on the horse Commander Moby was riding.

After passing through the main gate and following a path of faint silver stones for a while, a majestic and beautiful gray castle finally revealed itself.

The huge door, which seemed to have been closed for a long time, swung open and countless servants poured out from inside.

Everyone was in tears as they welcomed the Grand Duke.

Amidst them, Arcadia, who had not yet taken off his uniform, approached the Grand Duke.

“Arcadia.”

“Your Highness, it is said that His Majesty the Emperor’s lost granddaughter has appeared.”