In This Life, I'll Assist You (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 14

“Arcadia, have this young lady serve as my attendant. That is an order.”

“Huh?”

Arcadia stared at the Grand Duke with an expression as if doubting his own ears, his green eyes wide open.

I, too, was startled and looked toward Grand Duke Zion Belfast of the North.

‘You said you didn’t trust me—then why this?’

“Arcadia, I’m scared.”

At the Grand Duke’s playful remark, Arcadia quickly lowered his widened eyes—but soon lifted them again, this time with indignation. Then, he spoke words utterly unfitting his pure and mysterious face.

“Your Grace, don’t you still know little about this woman? Regardless of whether she was mistreated or not, she’s the very attendant Medea refused to part with so vehemently—if she were to poison you, stab you in your sleep, or even break your horse’s legs just to injure you, what would you do then?”

That was brutal.

Unconsciously, I frowned.

Arcadia, you’re not just honest—you’re downright dagger-tongued.

“You’re being too harsh, Arcadia. And by listing aloud all the things this woman might do, even if she could—”

The Grand Duke turned his gaze toward me.

“—she now can’t possibly do any of them. If she were truly a spy from the Grand Duke of the South trying to kill me, thanks to your words, she’d now have to use far crueler, unheard-of methods instead of the ones you just described.”

…This is absurd.

Are all Northern men this bluntly, unbelievably forthright?

Then again, perhaps this very trait serves as a weapon—throwing cryptic enemies into confusion.

“Your Grace!”

At Arcadia’s resentful call, the Grand Duke looked at me.

“If that’s truly her plan, I’d actually be grateful if she just did it quickly. We can’t afford to waste time determining guilt or innocence.”

His eyes had already grown cold—like the surface of a winter lake.

The Grand Duke grinned at Arcadia.

“Don’t worry. My body is accustomed to poison, and I don’t sleep deeply—so the things you fear won’t come easily.”

“Your Grace! Please stop gambling with your own life!”

Arcadia’s eyes reddened.

Ah.

So Arcadia knows. He knows exactly whom the Grand Duke once saved—even at the cost of poisoning himself.

Belfast suddenly turned solemn.

“To change a situation, you must risk something great.”

“But isn’t this woman far from being ‘something great’?”

Arcadia retorted. The Grand Duke said nothing—only glanced at me once more, specifically at my sky-blue eyes.

At that gaze, I involuntarily held my breath.

What is it?

Seeing my tension, the Grand Duke shifted his eyes away.

Arcadia, too, looked at me in confusion at the Grand Duke’s silence.

“This young lady wanted to run away, yet Medea refused to let her go—even offered a gold mine for her. If it’s to uncover the reason behind that, could it not be considered somewhat worthwhile, Arcadia?”

“Shall we torture her?”

“We’re not the South, Lord Nugent.”

The aura surrounding the Grand Duke chilled.

“My apologies.”

Arcadia bowed his head.

“That was shameful of me.”

“It’s not as if she’ll be constantly at my side just because she’s an attendant. If she handles meals and lodging, she’ll report to Mobi. If it’s combat-related, she’ll go under Ergo in the armory. If tending to the wounded, she’ll join the infirmary under the head medic. After being placed in one of those three and proving herself reliable, then she may serve me directly. With so many eyes watching, that might actually be safer.”

I wasn’t sure if that “safety” referred to mine—or his.

Thankfully, Arcadia seemed satisfied and bowed his head. Then the Grand Duke looked at me—asking for my consent.

I bowed deeply.

“Your Grace, I shall follow your wishes.”

There was no reason not to. Before me now stood Sir Arcadia, alive and well, and Grand Duke Zion Belfast of the North.

Just that fact alone filled my chest with overwhelming emotion.

[This is the timeline separator]

That swelling emotion cooled into unfamiliar detachment just hours later.

At the head of a large white table sat Grand Duke Belfast, flanked on either side by Arcadia and three men.

I stood opposite the Grand Duke.

The matter had been settled swiftly—the Grand Duke summoned the heads of the three departments—catering, armory, and medical—from their field posts to Deputy Commander Arcadia’s tent.

Mobi, who oversaw meals and lodging for knights and soldiers on campaign—his official title was Field Head Cook—Ergo, chief of the blacksmith division responsible for crafting and maintaining the knights’ weapons—and the physician I’d briefly glimpsed when requesting the Yellow Caterpillar, head of the infirmary.

“One of you three must take responsibility for this young lady.”

No sooner had Arcadia spoken than the man named Ergo opened his mouth.

“I regret to say, Your Grace, but I refuse.”

Tall and broad-shouldered, Ergo had the sharp gaze fitting a man who worked with steel. Without even glancing at me in the corner, he rose and bowed deeply to the Grand Duke.

“I cannot allow someone of uncertain origin into the Northern Knights’ armory. Weapons are a knight’s life.”

Stubborn—but correct.

“I feel the same… I’d hesitate to place her beside our wounded soldiers for the same reason…”

The thin, upright physician adjusted his round glasses and bowed. The Grand Duke turned to the last man—the Field Head Cook, Mobi.

“What about you?”

“I…”

He carefully scanned me.

“I know nothing about her, but if Your Grace brought her here, there must be good reason. I, Mobi, will take her in. Until we reach the North—that’s about a month, yes?”

“Yes. And if any incident occurs involving the soldiers’ food, I’ll take full responsibility.”

“Why should Your Grace bear the blame! Naturally, she should be held accountable then!”

Arcadia raised his voice at Belfast’s words.

“Lord Nugent is right.”

Ergo seconded him.

The Grand Duke spoke.

“If she causes trouble, she won’t survive long enough to take responsibility.”

He looked at me with cold eyes.

His gaze, shifting between icy and warm, left my heart unsettled.

So—he meant he wouldn’t let me live if anything went wrong.

His eyes were sincere. And so, I steeled my own resolve.

I must prove myself—by myself. Even if it’s the Grand Duke, I refuse to cling helplessly to someone else’s protection.

“If any trouble arises because of me, I’ll accept whatever punishment comes. But I swear I’ll never do anything to harm the North.”

I bowed before them.

In my past life, I was the one who destroyed the North. Compared to that sin, this cold treatment is something I’d endure ten thousand times over.

Just then, the Grand Duke asked,

“Do you know how to handle a sword?”

What?

I clearly told him I’d received assassin training when I came to warn him about poison.

Yet now he asks as if I know nothing.

Why?

[Ha, quite provocative. Well, the most useful trait is obvious—one thing matters most: fighting well. That’s the pinnacle.] [Then… yes. I can fight well. That’s what I do best.]

Had he overheard my earlier conversation with Arcadia?

From where had he been listening?

“Did you handle swords in the South?”

Arcadia asked me. Unsure how to answer, I hesitated.

It was the Grand Duke who broke the brief silence.

“Is the South determined to turn every hireling into a soldier? Did they even teach you swordsmanship?”

His tone was calm—familiarly calm—and my tension eased slightly.

I answered steadily, though it wasn’t true.

“I picked up a little by watching over shoulders.”

At that, the man named Ergo snapped.

“How dare you treat the sword so lightly! Swordsmanship isn’t something you learn just by watching!”

“Ergo, where do you think you are, losing your temper like that?”

Chided by Mobi, Ergo pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his sweat.

“My apologies, Your Grace. I lost control without realizing.”

Yet the Grand Duke remained completely unperturbed.

I replied,

“I don’t mean to belittle it.”

“Then what did you do besides ‘watching over shoulders’ to learn the sword?”

Arcadia’s question was sharp.

Of course—the puppy-like demeanor only appears before the Grand Duke. This man is the cold, calculating right hand of the Duke.

Confessing here that I’d trained as an assassin would be near suicide—especially when so many already suspect me of being a Southern spy.

I had to lie—even if I disliked deceiving the Grand Duke.

“I cleaned.”

“What kind of cleaning?”

“I lived in the underground chambers of the main castle and cleaned the maids’ quarters…”

I’d only done it a few times as a child, enduring their abuse.

“You cleaned the maids’ quarters?”

Arcadia looked surprised.

“Yes. My status in the main castle was beneath even the maids.”

“But weren’t you the confidante of the Grand Duke’s daughter?”

“A confidante, yes—even if a lowly one. Because of my appearance, the young lady occasionally entrusted me with secret errands others weren’t allowed to handle.”

“What sort of errands?”

The Grand Duke asked.

“She maintained her own poison garden. Whenever the gardener visited the castle in secret, ominous events followed.”

At that, all eyes in the room fixed on me. Everyone except Arcadia and the Grand Duke even changed color.

The Grand Duke asked,

“So your duty was to bring that person to me?”

“No. The one who made direct contact was Lady Berk, Medea’s confidante. My role was only to discreetly guide the gardener to wherever the young lady was waiting.”

Of course, that was a lie.

In my past life, Medea hid the gardener’s existence from me. I only learned of him a few years ago.

“Only I know that person’s true face and identity. Not even Lady Berk has seen it.”

That much was true. Lady Berk’s task ended at delivering the message. The gardener always changed names and identities when revealing himself.

Thus, only I—the white butterfly—knew his face as the poison garden’s keeper.

The Grand Duke said,

“So that’s why you warned me to beware of poison.”

“…Yes.”

He’s helping me.

Something warm rose in my heart.

“And I heard from Lord Nugent that I’d be more useful if I could wield a sword. I can handle one—I’d like to help with it someday.”

Having spoken, I finally lifted my head, which I’d kept bowed for so long.

“You want to help… with a sword?”

The Grand Duke’s voice grew low.

“Yes. Not just by watching—I want to properly learn more.”

Then Ergo quietly laughed.

“You truly do look down on the sword. If you’re so skilled, why not prove it?”

The Grand Duke spoke.

“In the North, words carry weight. That means you must be prepared to stand by yours.”

“Your Grace, she’s from the South.”

Arcadia interjected the moment the Grand Duke finished speaking.

He truly despises the South—but so do I.

“The place I was born wasn’t the South.”

It was the truth.

In the memory shown by Mother’s dagger, pine forests stretched in every direction—trees that grow in the North, not the South.

“I simply… wish to become a loyal subject of the Delphast Empire and serve the North.”

The Grand Duke fell silent. Arcadia spoke.

“Do you dream of being thrashed by a sword? This is the Northern Knights’ corps—the Empire’s finest.”

I waited for the Grand Duke’s reply. After a long pause, his tightly closed lips finally parted.

“So be it.”

Our gazes met in the air.

“Your Grace.”

“Opportunity must be fair.”

The Grand Duke cut off Ergo.

“Lord Nugent will decide the method, time, and place for her to prove her skill with the sword.”

“Understood.”

Arcadia glanced at me.

I avoided his gaze and gathered my courage to speak.

“Thank you. And Your Grace—if I do prove myself and take responsibility for my words, may I ask one favor?”

“What is it?”

I took a deep breath and spoke quietly.

“Could you have a new half-mask made for me? I wish to live showing the side of my face that isn’t disfigured.”

I cautiously looked up at the Grand Duke.

The left corner of his mouth softened into a gentle curve. Warmth flickered in his once-cold eyes.

“You want to reverse the mask’s orientation?”

“Yes… I know it’s shameless, but I beg you.”