“Did I… make a mistake? Did I frighten you? Did I hurt you?”

He asked plaintively.

‘It’s not that.’

“Show me your face, Esdel.”

“…It’s not that.”

“Esdel.”

He approached me.

I opened the shed door. Outside was still a dark world drenched in rain.

“Esdel!”

He stood behind me.

I’m afraid, Your Highness.

“Stop calling my name.”

“!”

He stopped at my sharp words.

I turned my back to him and spoke again.

“I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I did something I shouldn’t have done to Your Highness.”

“!”

“It was impulsive.”

“What do you mean?”

His voice sank deeply.

In the midst of this intense rain, why does only your voice, Your Highness, reach me so clearly?

“I asked what you meant.”

“It was a mistake. To kiss Your Highness.”

“!”

My heart ached as if it would tear apart.

The white butterfly, who fell into the abyss at the happiest moment… Ah… I, the sinful white butterfly, dared to misunderstand you.

Your Highness, I dared to mistake your intentions.

‘There is no such thing as a past life. You deceived yourself, Esdel.’

It’s the same life. One life, returning briefly to continue. I am the white butterfly.

What I believed to be a past life was just my desire.

I, who took everything from you and left you hanging in a dry gallows, dared to desire you.

I harbored a foolish affection.

“I’m insane.”

I muttered to myself.

Simultaneously with those words, the Grand Duke’s tremor reached me through the cold air.

How much time passed?

Breaking the long silence, the Grand Duke spoke.

“Esdel, since I was burdened with the role of the Grand Duke, I have never laid down with anyone to sleep.”

“!”

“To feel murderous intent for someone, to teach someone to dance, to say inappropriate things just to see someone smile, to want to live as a man, not as a Grand Duke for someone…”

“!”

“All of these were firsts for me. To want to touch and hold someone. To follow my heart without thinking about the future… all these feelings were firsts with you.”
‘Ah…’

Are these tears or raindrops rolling down from my eyes?

“Don’t say anything more… please.”

“But wasn’t it you?”

“…”

“Wasn’t it?”

“I am…”

“Weren’t you indifferent to me?”

Your Highness, don’t forgive me.

“That’s right.”

“!”

“I told you it was a mistake. It was just an impulsive act in the depths of the night. I am nothing more than Your Highness’ knight and aide.”

“Is that truly how you feel?”

“It’s true.”

Tears suddenly poured out.

“I’ll go to the stable. Please, rest here.”

I stepped into the rain.

I couldn’t look back until the end.

I hoped the rain would hide my tears.

I never got to ask.

Why he mentioned the white butterfly, why he called me the white butterfly.

If he just said I reminded him of a butterfly, I would be overjoyed. I could bury my past again.

But I couldn’t ask. Whatever his answer, the conclusion is the same.

I am the white butterfly who led him to his death.

‘He must be very tired.’

Seeing the darkened complexion of Esdel before departure, Sion thought.

But the innkeeper, who said she would return once the room was vacated, showed no sign of coming back.

Sion Belfast stepped into the rain without hesitation. This rain was nothing compared to the hardships on the battlefield.

But then…

He returned to find a man harassing her. That man dared to curse at Esdel and tried to touch her.

For the first time, he felt a murderous intent to kill someone for another, without a sword in hand.

“When the innkeeper said there was an empty, cleaned shed available, my heart unwittingly raced. The thought of being alone with Esdel stirred my heart uncontrollably.

‘Have I always been this person?’

“I have no choice. Esdel, will you be okay? I’ll rest outside.”

“What? Your Highness, I can’t rest comfortably alone. I’ll go outside.”

“No. You’re still a patient.”

“So are you, Your Highness.”

After some back and forth, we decided to rest in the shed, thinking of it as a makeshift infirmary.

Standing in front of the shed with her, my heart raced madly.

I was even grateful to my knights, Mobie, Ergo, and Yora, for sleeping well in that cramped room.

‘Embarrassingly, I feel happy in this situation.’

Left alone with her in the shed, my heart pounded as if to break free.

The relentless rain on the roof was a relief.

I intentionally turned my back to her and pretended to sleep, for her.

If I were awake, she wouldn’t be able to rest comfortably.

And it was for myself as well.

It was hard to suppress the rising desires of a man, especially for her. The longing surged, but…

I tried to sleep, even though sleep didn’t come.

I could feel every movement of hers, even without seeing.

‘She’s quietly listening to the rain. She likes the rain.’

Rustle

‘Ah, Esdel has lain down.’

I felt her lying at the far end of the blanket, away from me.

The rain grew stronger.

After a while, she seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep, motionless.

I turned my body and quietly watched her. Esdel was lying facing me, asleep.

Then, the rain intensified.

The beating rain brought a cold chill as the night deepened.

Feeling the cold, she shifted slightly and crawled into the blanket, then wrapped herself in it.

Her action was endearing and pitiable.

I wanted to go near her and cover her entirely with the blanket so she wouldn’t be cold, but…
And then, I wanted to look at Esdel’s sleeping face all night.

But I didn’t dare to approach. If I got too close, I might not be able to suppress my desire to touch her.

My desire was that strong.

But then, she curled up and rolled towards me.

Her soft, delicate breath touched my face. Now my heart was beating so hard it hurt.

I listened to her breathing.

Her small, frail breaths told me she was alive.

Some time passed.

Esdel seemed to stir slightly, as if she might open her eyes.

I closed my eyes.

Pretending to be deeply asleep, I calmed my breathing.

But then!

She pressed her lips against mine.

‘Is this a dream?’

I opened my eyes.

No.

She was there, looking ashamed and sad, bowing her head.

‘No, Sion.’

She is a princess, or perhaps, someone who might have been a princess.

My butterfly, whom I had temporarily caged, whom I might have to send away someday.

‘No, Esdel. Don’t look at me.’

But she slowly raised her head.

She looked at me. As our eyes met, her small body trembled slightly. Her eyes sought mine.

Esdel.

“It was you who started it.”

Making a cowardly excuse, I pressed my lips to hers.

Lightning seemed to course through my body.

I couldn’t stop.

Ah… Esdel.

I realized.

It doesn’t matter to me anymore.

Whether you are a princess or an assassin, or anything else.

The soft, warm sensation cuts through my whole body.

Your lips keep pulling mine. Your breath on my ear.

I want to know you more. To feel you deeper.

In a past life, the cold water you soaked in cotton wool that you gave to me on the scaffold. The sip of life you gave to a dying man.

Your lips now are sweeter than that water then… and that’s why I can’t stop.