If You Wish For My Death (6 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 11
“It just happened somehow… I’m a bit embarrassed.”
In response, Veronica gave a rather obvious excuse to brush off the question.
It was her way of saying she didn’t want to talk anymore, and perceptive Lady Arin, though disappointed, didn’t press further.
Veronica picked up her teacup. The table was filled with desserts Lady Arin had bought.
Every time she visited the Hardness household, she brought these delicious treats especially for Veronica. It felt almost redundant to say it again, but she truly cared with great thoughtfulness.
“Hehe, so Veronica now has a fiancé.”
“Well, it’s a bit late, isn’t it?”
“Late? Not at all! My husband and I also held our engagement ceremony quite late. Have I ever told you how I met him?”
“Yes, you have.”
You’ve certainly told me—so many times my ears nearly bled.
Lady Arin’s husband had been the son of a poor noble family.
In every aspect—wealth or status—his family had been clearly inferior to Lady Arin’s. Frankly, they barely even qualified as nobility.
Yet, somehow, these two people who should never have crossed paths met by chance and fell in love.
It was Lady Arin who fell for him at first sight, and without her actively pursuing him, their relationship would never have come to be.
She’d even had an arranged fiancé at the time, yet she went so far as to break off the engagement.
Indeed, everything she achieved had been the result of her own determined actions alone.
Amazingly, she had succeeded in the rarest of feats: a love marriage.
“Crisis only strengthens love! If you want something, take it! Hope comes to those who strive! Look after your own interests! If you just sit still, you’ll gain nothing!”
Lady Arin slammed her hand on the table, delivering this personal creed with passion. Veronica listened with a gentle smile.
“But it wasn’t an easy choice for you, was it?”
“No, it really wasn’t. Truthfully… my family opposed it fiercely. I already had an arranged fiancé, and breaking that engagement unilaterally caused massive losses to my family’s reputation and interests. It was the first time I’d ever rebelled in my life. My older brother always got everything he wanted, while I’d obediently followed my family’s wishes all my life—except for marriage. For that, I refused to yield. Even if it meant giving up my inheritance.”
Stirring her teaspoon, Lady Arin gave a bitter smile.
Of course, the consequences of defying her family’s wishes regarding marriage were severe.
She had to forfeit an enormous inheritance and was cut off from all familial support. She ended up marrying her husband with only a modest dowry given as a formality.
Because of this, she secretly took on occasional work tutoring noble children behind her husband’s back.
Veronica had met Lady Arin through an introduction from her father’s acquaintance and learned practical noble etiquette from her.
Veronica had always enjoyed spending time with her because she wasn’t stiff or overly formal.
“But I don’t regret it at all. Love is what matters to me!”
“Haha.”
Lady Arin clenched her fist determinedly. Veronica just smiled.
Love… There was a time when she, too, had been swept away by that emotion, believing it to be the very essence of her life.
What had the original 16-year-old Veronica been like?
She would have been a naive young lady of a ducal house, blissfully ignorant of how the world worked, floundering helplessly for a love she believed was fate.
She would think fondly of her beloved, wonder how he was faring, and write letters nonstop simply because she missed him.
She’d write on pristine, pretty paper, sprinkle sweet fragrance, tuck in lovely flowers, and fill the pages with every beautiful phrase she could imagine.
She wanted him to see her as a refined, cultured woman. And for the same reason, she’d diligently attend the bride lessons she’d once found tedious and skipped.
“What a pointless effort.”
Even reflecting on it now felt utterly meaningless.
Lady Arin’s beautiful love wouldn’t last. Three years later, the husband she’d defied her entire family to marry would die in an accident.
Afterward, she returned to her family, and before long, talk of remarriage began.
At first, she refused, but eventually, word spread that she’d accepted another engagement. In the end, she never truly escaped her family’s chains.
Veronica gave a bitter smile and brought her teacup to her lips. A breeze from outside ruffled her hair.
She calmly swept the stray strands behind her ears and took a quiet sip of tea.
Lady Arin, who had been watching her every move intently, spoke.
“Veronica.”
“Yes, Madam?”
“You seem… different since we last met. More mature, somehow.”
She’d been hearing that a lot lately. She hadn’t deliberately tried to hide it, but apparently, the passage of time couldn’t be concealed.
Veronica had returned once again to being 16. That meant she had to live through the life of a 16-year-old all over again.
At 16, as the daughter of a noble house, she should be focusing on cultivating grace, acquiring knowledge, and mastering proper etiquette—the daughter of a duke was no exception.
Veronica’s days were filled with nothing but studying, studying, and more studying.
Noble girls typically began bride lessons from a young age, but she was destined to become the Crown Prince’s consort.
Thus, she had to relearn imperial court etiquette, making her education even more rigorous and her curriculum even heavier.
But then again, who was she? Hadn’t she repeated all of this countless times already?
She executed every task flawlessly.
Whether it was playing an instrument she’d once struggled with to perfection, completing a dance routine without missing a single step, or reciting historical facts effortlessly—it was all because she’d learned it repeatedly.
She’d practiced until it became second nature out of sheer boredom. Yet her teachers, unaware of the truth, heaped endless praise upon her.
Some even called her a prodigy. But that, too, was something she’d heard so often it no longer stirred any emotion in her.
Of course, there were also troublesome incidents. Not only her father Harry, but people around her began to find her behavior strange.
Veronica had no intention of explaining her circumstances in detail, nor did she want to draw attention—but acting like a child was difficult when she was an adult inside.
She certainly didn’t feel like throwing tantrums on the floor, demanding this or that item like she supposedly would have at that age.
She knew this caused unnecessary worry for her father, but after living through countless lifetimes, Veronica simply couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Still, she couldn’t do nothing at all.
Recently, Veronica had dismissed several servants whose faces she remembered. Excuses weren’t hard to find.
All she had to do was throw a childish tantrum, claiming she didn’t like them.
At times like this, being a spoiled child came in handy. She knew her father would eventually give in to her whims anyway.
She watched from the window as servants filed out one by one.
Among them was the maid she’d argued with. Veronica remembered clearly the moment that maid had smiled at her with condescension.
“…What could possibly be going on?”
Her father would never know. He’d never learn that these very people would one day betray the Hardness family with false testimony linking them to rebels.
Veronica still vividly recalled their greedy faces, brazenly presenting fabricated evidence right before her eyes, eager to claim their share.
Banishing them wouldn’t change their fate, but it might at least delay it a little.
“Hehe. Girls grow up so quickly, don’t they?”
Lady Arin chuckled, resting her chin in both hands.
Fortunately, Lady Arin seemed inclined to lightly dismiss Veronica’s changed demeanor. Her teasing expression glowed with warmth.
Veronica stared at her intently. To Veronica, Lady Arin had been more than just a teacher of noble manners—she’d been a mother figure.
Lady Arin, too, had always doted on Veronica.
Even during the times when Veronica had been arrogant and willful, Lady Arin had been one of the few adults who got along well with her.
Perhaps out of pity for a girl who’d grown up motherless, Lady Arin had visited Veronica consistently, whether she was joyful or downcast.
Just seeing her always lifted Veronica’s spirits.
Veronica recalled Lady Arin’s worried face even in the final moments when the Hardness family had been falsely accused.
“I’m sorry, Veronica.”
“Is it delicious, Veronica?”
Her hands clasped together, Lady Arin’s face—once stained with anguish and despair—was now filled with delight. She had wanted to help, yet in the end, she’d been powerless to do anything.
The outcome had been as hollow as her love.
Then again, with His Imperial Majesty the Emperor as their enemy, who could have possibly helped them? Thinking this made Veronica feel as though layers upon layers of emotion had faded into nothingness.
“Yes, it’s delicious.”
Veronica gave a faint smile and took one of the cookies Lady Arin had brought. The sweet taste spread across her tongue, yet inside, she felt only emptiness.
After all, she already knew their future wouldn’t be as sweet as this pastry.
Veronica sent a letter to Cassian every single day without fail.
At first, she poured her heart into the contents, used the latest popular perfume, and carefully decorated the envelopes—but eventually, she just scribbled whatever came to mind.
She no longer expected him to be moved by her sincerity, and honestly, she even doubted whether he read the letters at all.
Given how completely he ignored her, it was highly likely the letters were burned unread. And honestly, that wasn’t an unreasonable assumption.
Yet Veronica persisted in sending them. She sent them regardless of whether he replied or not.
Part of her wanted to see just how long he’d keep ignoring her.
Her relentless dedication to writing and sending letters impressed even Harry, who secretly marveled at her perseverance.
Meanwhile, she diligently attended her bride lessons in between.
Her tutors praised her changed attitude and lavished her with admiration. Veronica, however, remained indifferent to it all.
After all, to her, it was merely repeating what she’d already learned countless times.
There had been a time when, as Asar’s fiancée, she’d earnestly strived to become perfectly refined.
She used to feel genuine joy at receiving praise. Now, those memories hardly even registered.
No matter how much acclaim she received or how exaggerated their reactions were, she no longer felt any sense of achievement or happiness. To her, it was all just another tedious routine.
Yet even in this monotony, something had clearly changed.
Veronica smiled shyly.
“I’ve been working hard so I won’t be an inadequate wife to His Highness Prince Cassian.”
“Oh my!”
Her words drew envious sighs from her teachers, and Veronica adopted a bashful expression as if thinking fondly of her fiancé.
Inside, however, she imagined this tale spreading like wildfire—eventually reaching Cassian and making him absolutely furious—and found the thought rather satisfying.
Thus, time passed, and His Imperial Majesty the Emperor’s birthday arrived.
Male lead first thought she played hard to get, only to realize she
really disliked him
Short intro:
What she can’t stand the most is the streets full of effeminate men, especially that so-called top beauty whom she avoids at all costs.
Shen Yaoxing looks at Jiang Mingyue, who keeps approaching her with coy shyness.
Shen Yaoxing: Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up!
She fears nothing in heaven or earth, except for him getting close to her.
*
At first he thought she was just using the trick of feigning indifference to attract his attention. Later, he learned that she truly despised him.
This dealt a heavy blow to Jiang Mingyue, and he vowed to make her, like everyone else, fall at his feet in worship!
***
Synopsis:
Before transmigrating, Shen Yaoxing only wanted to find a reliable man to spend her life with. Who knew that after transmigrating, she would become a reliable woman herself…
A forced misandrist, highly skilled, and reliable female lead
vs.
An initially aloof and arrogant, later morbid, obsessed male lead
_____
Please help me, I want to bring you the best possible things.
If you find any chapter or novel with poor translation and editing quality, let me know by commenting directly under that novel or chapter. I will retranslate it as soon as possible.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
this chapter was extremely sad. I like the fact that the author keep emphasizing on her past life, like not to let go her trauma. I i have read many fast pace regression novels when as soon as fmc finds love everything else just goes really fast and nothing else matters almost as if forgetting the revenge which was suppose to be the priority, so far loving this novel i hope they don’t ruin it.
I can totally understand the fmc she don’t want fake friends cause she already has a experience where she thought someone was her friend but they where only using her for her status. I mean its always hard to trust people when u been betrayed badly. I can totally understand her having trust issues.
she must be thinking something really romantic is going on between them. If only she knew what her favorite is scheming in that head of hers.