If You Want To Possess Me - Chapter 66

Kisa lowered the fork she had raised to pick up the meat and swallowed dryly.

She was anxious that Gabriel might say he was giving up on studying abroad.

In fact, the day after the engagement party, Kisa, worried about his condition, called Gabriel to the banquet hall with Seyerd’s cooperation.

The excuse was to hear his violin performance and get some advice and lessons.

“Oh, this? I fell down a bit yesterday.”

How does one fall to get like that?

Kisa swallowed such a question as she watched him make excuses while covering his swollen red cheek.

After spending time pondering the day before, she had come to the same conclusion as Seyerd.

This was an obstacle Gabriel had to overcome on his own, not something for a third party, let alone Kisa who wasn’t even close to him, to meddle in.

Instead, Kisa called Gabriel out a few more times to check on his condition periodically.

On the day of the engagement, although she didn’t know how the conversation with the princess had ended, he clearly looked more depressed than before.

In contrast to Kisa’s rapidly improving violin skills under the guidance of an excellent performer, his face grew more worried with each passing day.

At this rate, she thought he might really give up on studying abroad and return to the princess, when Gabriel suddenly brought up this meaningful opening.

“Please speak, Gabriel.”

Unlike the tense Kisa, Seyerd replied in his usual tone.

“It’s nothing much, I just wanted to thank you both.”

Gabriel said, scratching his cheek where faint traces of violence still remained.

“I realized I haven’t properly thanked you since the engagement party. Thank you very much. Thanks to the great reception of that day’s performance, more people have been seeking me out.”

What, it was just greetings? Kisa secretly let out a sigh of relief and awkwardly replied.

“Oh, I didn’t do much. It was Seyerd who recruited Gabriel.”

Then Seyerd slowly shook his head.

“The reason I decided to recruit him was because of Kisa, so that’s not true either.”

Gazing at us, Gabriel murmured in a slightly sad tone.

“You two really make a good pair.”

Somehow knowing who he was thinking of right now, both Kisa and Seyerd kept their mouths shut as Gabriel continued.

“I feel a bit awkward saying this when I’m in a position of only receiving help, but I have something urgent to tell you about studying abroad in Octava, Your Grace.”

When Seyerd nodded lightly as if to say go ahead, Gabriel began to speak.

It was quite an unexpected story.

The day before Gabriel was set to leave, Kisa happened to run into him in the garden of the Hillan mansion.

He was looking up at the distant sky, getting soaked in the drizzling rain without an umbrella.

For a moment, Kisa thought about giving him an umbrella but didn’t.

It’s not like the great Hillan family didn’t have an umbrella to give to a guest, and if he asked any passing servant, they would quickly bring one.

Yet the fact that he wasn’t doing so meant he probably wanted to feel the rain today.

After briefly considering leaving him alone to have his private time, Kisa spoke up.

“Gabriel.”

He was scheduled to leave early the next morning.

Although they had already said their goodbyes yesterday, she still wanted to talk to him one more time before he left.

“Ah, Lady Vanspelt.”

As Gabriel looked around after noticing Kisa’s presence, she quickly replied.

“If you’re looking for Seyerd, he’s busy with work so I’m taking a walk alone today.”

Kisa had been visiting the Hillan mansion almost every other day recently, and usually walked in the garden with Seyerd.

However, he was originally a very busy person, and today he seemed especially swamped with estate matters, without even time for a walk.

After responding with “I see,” and looking around the garden once, he spoke again.

“It’s a shame to think I might never see this wonderful garden again.”

“Why can’t you see it? You can come visit again later. It might be quite far in the future, but.”

“…I wonder if that will be possible.”

“Please do come. It doesn’t have to be after you finish studying in Octava. Come back anytime once your health improves.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

The story Gabriel brought up at the dinner table with the three of them was his desire to recuperate rather than study abroad.

“My health hasn’t been very good lately. I think recovering my health in a quiet place should take priority, so I’m afraid I’ll have to decline the study abroad opportunity. Even though you were kind enough to offer help and the departure date is so close… I truly feel ashamed.”

When Kisa first heard those words, she thought the recuperation was just an excuse.

Indeed, Gabriel’s face had been pale and haggard these past few days, looking at first glance like that of a sick person.

But Kisa knew well that the cause was in his heart, not his body.

So she thought the recuperation was just a pretext to refuse Seyerd’s support and that he had changed his mind to return to the princess.

But Gabriel’s story didn’t end there.

“I know it’s extremely shameless, but… may I make one request? You’re the only one I can ask for this, Duke Hillan.”

When Seyerd said it was fine and to go ahead, he explained the content of his request with a desperate look.

“Would it be possible for you to arrange a secret ship passage to my recuperation destination? I’m afraid if I use regular transportation, I’ll catch people’s attention. Not to brag, but lately many people have come to know my face…”

Gabriel’s reason was that he wanted to go to a far-off place where no one knew him to recuperate quietly, but it seemed impossible on his own.

Kisa could intuitively understand. Ah, he’s trying to run away from Princess Arta.

This was impossible in Octava, his intended study abroad destination.

Octava was a country bordering the Kingdom of Sorbi, and if the princess set her mind to it, she could go there in one step anytime.

But if he went to a place so far that it would take several days just to travel by ship, it would be difficult for the princess to chase after him, putting everything else aside.

Moreover, if Seyerd provided transportation under the influence of the Hillan family to Gabriel, it would be hard for the princess to even track her departed lover’s whereabouts.

In other words, Gabriel was trying to completely cut off the possibility of the princess’s reach extending to him.

It was truly contradictory.

His decision showed both a desperate will to get away from the princess, even putting off his studies, and a foolish love he still couldn’t let go of.

“…”

Kisa took in the lonely side profile of Gabriel as he silently stared at the ground.

In fact, if he just made up his mind firmly, he could have lived without any trouble in Octava as well.

No matter how much of a princess she was, it wasn’t easy to forcibly drag someone away in Octava, which was clearly another country.

Moreover, if an influential person from Octava sponsored Gabriel on Seyerd’s introduction and looked after his overall life, it would be even harder for the princess to take forceful action.

Due to the poor relations between the two countries, it could potentially escalate into a diplomatic issue if she wasn’t careful.

Then why did Gabriel choose to go to a far-off place citing his not-so-bad health as a reason, instead of going to Octava as he had so desperately wanted?

The answer was obvious if one thought about it a little.

He lacked confidence. Confidence to reject the princess if she came all the way to a foreign country and appealed to their love.

And so the conclusion he came to was to flee to a place where she couldn’t come at all.

Someone might criticize his decision as stupid for choosing neither his dream nor love, but Kisa couldn’t do so.

In her eyes, Gabriel was struggling in his own way to not succumb to oppression and bondage.

‘Just how deep is his love?’

For Kisa, who had erased Daniel from her heart relatively quickly considering it was over a decade of unrequited love, it was beyond her ability to fathom.

Moreover, the tyranny Daniel had inflicted on Kisa was like child’s play compared to what the princess had done to him.

“My lady.”

At that moment, the man who would be fleeing from love tomorrow addressed Kisa.

“You asked me before what kind of person Duke Hillan is. You said you were worried about various things ahead of your engagement.”

“Ah, yes. I did.”

“I think I spoke without much deep thought at the time, so I’ve been thinking about it more since then.”

“I, I see.”

That was just a question Kisa had thrown to understand his true feelings, misunderstanding that Gabriel liked Seyerd.

But he seemed to have taken it seriously, making her feel guilty.

“Indeed, Duke Hillan is a good person. Not only did he graciously accept my unreasonable request, but he even said I could go study abroad after recuperating and didn’t withdraw his offer of support. It’s far too generous.”

But, he said, his tone changing slightly.

“Even if someone is the best person, there’s a high chance that differences in opinion or discord will arise after spending many years together. If such a situation comes, the best way is to resolve conflicts through conversation. But there’s one thing I’d like you to keep in mind.”

Gabriel smiled faintly and met Kisa’s gaze.

“The most important thing is yourself.”

It was sincere advice.

“Never give up on yourself because of love.”

Unlike me.

Kisa felt as if she had heard the hidden words at the end.