If You Want To Possess Me - Chapter 5

After the somewhat unusual incident at the library that day, Kisa’s life continued surprisingly unchanged.

As expected, she no longer visited the Royal Library, so there were no more encounters with Seyerd.

Every time she passed near the library in a carriage, she felt a slight urge to stop by, but circumstances were not favorable.

Marsha, who had experienced her mistress’s escapades twice already, was always on high alert.

The report must have already reached the ears of Count Vanspelt. Fortunately, the Count had been busy lately; otherwise, she might have been summoned to his office, the mere thought of which made her breath catch.

Kisa thumped her chest, feeling a sudden rush of frustration. Naturally, her most recent vexation came to mind.

Daniel Lowens. That shameless character had been silent since the day he completely trampled on his fiancée’s pride.

He hadn’t specifically visited the Vanspelt mansion or sent any letters. How brazen.

She hadn’t expected him to suddenly have a change of heart and sincerely repent, but she hadn’t anticipated the complete absence of even a formal apology or roundabout persuasion.

Daniel had simply neglected Kisa for nearly a week. Even if his heart was elsewhere, this attitude showed no respect for her at all. Neither as a fiancé nor as a person.

‘But he must have gone to see that woman during this time.’

That woman named Hazel, with her ash-colored hair.

“Kisa?”

Just as her heart was sinking coldly, her name was suddenly called. Kisa quickly snapped out of her reverie and stared at the person sitting in front of her.

“Kisa, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Melissa took Kisa’s hand, which was resting on the table, with a worried expression.

“You’ve seemed oddly distracted for a while now. Do you have something on your mind?”

“It’s nothing.”

Despite Kisa’s denial, Melissa didn’t withdraw her suspicion.

“Nothing, my foot. Do you think I’ve only known you for a day or two?”

Melissa Dos. Kisa’s best friend. Their families were close, so they had naturally grown up together since childhood.

Today, they had planned to have tea in the garden of the Vanspelt mansion for a change.

“You’ve been acting strange lately. You even left my house without saying goodbye the other day when you came to visit.”

The time Melissa was referring to was the day Kisa learned about Daniel’s hidden truth.

That day, Kisa had been invited to Melissa’s tea party as usual, enjoying a peaceful moment. Until she heard those words from an unfamiliar lady.

“I saw your fiancé courting a widow.”

What if she hadn’t paid attention to those words? If she had dismissed them, thinking Daniel would never do such a thing, would she be free from this pain now?

She hated herself for making such pitiful assumptions, but her thoughts kept wandering in that direction.

Then, as she quietly gazed at her old friend’s face, Kisa spoke up.

“Melissa, how did you come to know Mrs. Oshuanna?”

“Mrs. Oshuanna? Ah, the person who came to the tea party you attended before?”

“Yes. Are you close?”

“No, not at all. We happened to exchange words at some ball, and she showed great interest in me. Said she really wanted to attend my tea party?”

Melissa shrugged with a subtle expression.

“But for all that, she was quite reserved at the party I invited her to. I don’t know what to make of it…”

She trailed off, then suddenly clapped her hands together.

“Come to think of it! You were left alone with Mrs. Oshuanna, weren’t you? You know, when I was playing bridge with the others. Right, that’s when you left without saying goodbye.”

An interrogating look was directed at Kisa.

“What on earth happened? Did Mrs. Oshuanna say something inappropriate to you?”

“Not really.”

“Then tell me. I need to know why you’re acting like this.”

“Well…”

“What’s the point of having a friend? Hm?”

Under the persistent questioning, her heavy lips parted. In truth, she had wanted to confide all along. The heavy burden in her heart that was too much to bear alone.

And for Kisa, Melissa was the person she felt most comfortable sharing this kind of worry with.

“The truth is.”

Once she started speaking, the words flowed out smoothly. Kisa poured out everything that had happened in front of the café that evening. Even the emotions that welled up in between couldn’t stop her.

“How could this be.”

After hearing the whole story, Melissa angrily berated Daniel.

“That bastard. How could he say such things to you? What a rotten man. Always acting so smart.”

Then she took Kisa’s hand again.

“It must have been so hard for you. The bad one is Daniel, that scoundrel. You don’t need to suffer in silence.”

“…Yeah.”

It was truly comforting words. That’s right. Kisa needed someone like Melissa. Someone who could listen to her complicated feelings.

Knowing Kisa and Daniel’s situation, Melissa provided comfort in a different way than Seyerd.

“I’m so confused. I never thought Daniel would do such a thing.”

“I know. Woman troubles even before getting married.”

“Is that woman so great? To the point of scolding me, whom he’s known for over ten years?”

“He’s just forgotten your preciousness because he’s gotten used to you. Don’t worry too much. What could that woman have that you don’t?”

“You think so?”

“Of course. She’s just a widow running a small café.”

“But that person is intelligent. Daniel seems to…”

Kisa’s words broke off unnaturally. Something was bothering her. She felt an uneasiness like opening and closing a door with rusty hinges.

“Kisa?”

Pondering what it could be, Kisa looked straight into Melissa’s eyes.

“Did I mention that she was a widow?”

“What?”

“I didn’t say that the woman was a widow.”

No matter how many times she recalled, it was so. Kisa had only said that Mrs. Oshuanna had revealed Daniel’s secret, but she hadn’t relayed the woman’s exact words.

And then she was too busy explaining her encounter with Daniel in front of the café to have mentioned the widow information.

“Melissa, did you already know who that woman was?”

“Oh, um. Well, yes. I heard it in passing.”

“From whom?”

“Well? Anyway, that woman seems to be quite famous in her own right. That’s how I knew.”

Melissa gave an awkward smile. Having been friends for so long, Kisa noticed that she was hiding something. How exactly did Melissa come to know about Hazel?

“…Come to think of it, didn’t you say your younger brother had been attending some strange meetings for the past few months?”

“Huh?”

“You said your father was displeased about it. That he was distracted by unnecessary things. Could those meetings be held at the Willow café?”

“No, that’s−”

“Melissa, please be honest with me.”

This time, it was Kisa who grabbed Melissa’s hand as she tried to retreat. Unlike before, there was no warm feeling of comfort in this touch.

“Did you know? About Daniel and that woman’s relationship.”

“…”

There was no need to hear the answer. Melissa’s nervously trembling eyes said it all.

“You knew and didn’t tell me.”

Feeling dejected, Kisa let go of Melissa’s hand.

“You knew everything.”

“No! Just listen to me!”

“Go ahead. Are you saying you never heard through your brother that Daniel seemed particularly close to the café owner?”

Given the close ties between the three families, Melissa’s brother also knew Kisa and Daniel. If he saw Daniel at the same gathering, it would be natural for him to mention it to his sister at least once.

“I just…”

Pausing for a moment as if organizing her thoughts, Melissa then looked aggrieved.

“I only heard that Daniel seemed quite friendly with the café owner.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was afraid you’d be hurt like this.”

“What?”

“See? You’re suffering now. That’s why I hoped you wouldn’t know.”

“I’m more hurt because of you. You hid this from me?”

Kisa never imagined Melissa would do this. Not even in her dreams.

“What were you planning to do if I never found out? Would you have congratulated me as I married Daniel, knowing nothing?”

“…Then what should I have done?”

“You should have told me! We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Nothing would have changed even if I told you.”

“Why not? If I knew, I could have at least prepared−”

“Prepared what? To break off the engagement?”

Breaking off the engagement, words that stopped Kisa in her tracks. That phrase carried no small weight.

Despite having uttered it herself, Melissa sighed deeply as if it were utterly absurd.

“What can be done about a marriage arranged between families? You and Daniel will get married. If you’re going to get married anyway, what good would it do to know early?”

She pulled her chair back and stood up. It seemed she wanted to leave quickly while Kisa’s intensity had subsided.

“Kisa, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. But I did it thinking of you. Whatever Daniel does outside, you just focus on your own affairs. Isn’t that easier on your mind? Many people live like that.”

Having gathered her handbag, she was about to turn away when she suddenly remembered something and spoke hastily.

“Oh, don’t forget our appointment next week to visit the princess together. Even if you’re upset with me, this is a promise with the princess. We should console her, as she’s grieving over losing her fiancé.”

With those final words, Kisa’s best friend left. As if Kisa was no longer someone to be comforted.

Left alone in the garden, she pressed her hand to her throbbing forehead. The word ‘breaking off the engagement’ lingered in her mind, tormenting Kisa for a long time.

“What should I do now?”

Her murmur escaped like a sigh.

When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem

This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Synopsis:

“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”

Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.

Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.

While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the  Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…

Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.

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