If You Want To Possess Me - Chapter 48

The moment I heard that question, it felt as if time had stopped inside the carriage.

Kisa blurted out an answer as soon as she understood the meaning of the words.

“I don’t believe it.”

However, several questions swirled chaotically in her mind.

Did I pronounce it correctly just now? Did my voice sound normal? Was there an unnatural pause between hearing the question and answering?

‘Did I perhaps lie?’

Did she truly not believe what she had heard about Seiard from Daniel?

That question weighed heavily on her mind, but Kisa soon denied it.

No, it probably wasn’t a lie.

If someone were to ask her which way her heart leaned more, she could confidently answer “I don’t believe it.”

Although it had leaned, Kisa deliberately ignored the fact that she knew better than anyone that it hadn’t completely tipped over.

“I don’t believe it, Seiard.”

Then, as if trying to deny the slightest doubt in her heart, she repeated the same words.

“There’s no way Seiard could be that kind of person. Surely Daniel must have been talking nonsense.”

Her tense gaze turned towards the person sitting opposite her.

As if hoping for those lips to confirm that the answer she had just found was correct.

A moment later, those lips parted.

“Kisa.”

It must have been the dozens of times he had called her name, yet strangely her heart fluttered.

It was as if it were the beginning of a reprimand for her immaturity in not trusting him completely.

Just as Kisa tightly clenched her fist resting on her knee, Seiard suddenly let out a faint sigh.

“I’m relieved. I was worried that Kisa might believe it.”

Fortunately, the emotion reflected on Seiard’s face was relief.

“O-Of course. I don’t believe it.”

Kisa too breathed a sigh of relief. He was the same Seiard as always.

“But truth and lies are so intricately mixed that others might believe it.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, the person Daniel Lowens claims to have met is probably really from Bonzmos. He might have actually seen me a few times.”

Seiard put his hand on the nape of his neck with an embarrassed expression.

“It’s shameful to admit, but the story about frequenting gambling dens in the past is true. The monastery was too boring for me, and Bonzmos wasn’t a very prosperous area, so alcohol and gambling were about the only forms of entertainment or amusement available.”

“I’m sure that was the case.”

“After first going with Kobi, on days when I didn’t feel like drinking or it felt odd to drink during the daytime, I would spend time at the gambling den. Ah, but not to the extent of getting addicted to gambling. While people-watching was interesting, I didn’t develop much interest in gambling itself.”

At least there had been no reports of the Duke of Hillan being spotted in the capital’s gambling dens, so that part seemed true.

“Um, who is Kobi?”

When Kisa asked about the unfamiliar name that had suddenly appeared, he kindly explained.

“He was a young man who frequented the monastery and took care of various odd jobs. Although he had some unreliable aspects, he was impossible to dislike due to his cheerful and optimistic nature.”

Anyway, he continued.

“I admit that my attitude was poor for someone receiving help from the monastery, but being labeled a thug seems unfair. I definitely don’t remember bullying ordinary people, breaking the law, or engaging in any malicious acts.”

Just as Kisa was about to agree, saying she fully understood his feelings, she ended up closing her mouth at his next words.

“Above all, the claim that I had a woman I was involved with is completely unfounded.”

This was the part of Daniel’s words whose truth she was most curious about.

“At that time, I was in no position to…”

Just as Kisa swallowed dryly and focused on his words, the carriage came to a stop.

The mansion of Duke Darion, today’s destination, was now visible through the window.

They had been so engrossed in conversation that they hadn’t even noticed the carriage entering the grounds.

“Your Grace, we have arrived.”

The coachman, who had descended from his seat, opened the door.

“Um, Seiard…”

Kisa looked back and forth between the wide-open door and Seiard with a bewildered expression.

It was vexing that the conversation had to be cut off just when an important topic was about to come up.

However, she hesitated to ask him to continue speaking, fearing it might seem like she was overly concerned with Daniel’s nonsense.

Whether aware of Kisa’s burning curiosity or not, Seiard gave a slight smile.

“Shall we get out?”

“Pardon?”

“There’s still quite some time before the concert begins. Why don’t we take a walk in the garden that the Darion family is so proud of?”

He had already noticed Kisa’s inner thoughts and was saying he would tell her the rest of the truth.

“Is that alright? There are people outside…”

“It’s fine. Surely we can find a private spot to talk in such a vast garden.”

Seiard, who had stepped out of the carriage first, extended his hand towards Kisa.

“Yes, let’s go.”

Kisa gladly took his hand.

A few minutes later, the two were walking through a garden bursting with magnificent spring flowers.

The Duke and Duchess of Darion, who loved the arts enough to hold regular concerts at their mansion, must also have had a keen interest in landscaping, for the scenery was truly beautiful.

Seiard, who had been quietly taking in the surroundings, suddenly spoke.

“With gambling, you just lose your stake, but once a relationship is formed, it’s not so simple.”

The conversation that had been cut off earlier resumed.

“It would be a lie to say I had absolutely no interest in romance or relationships, but at that time, I was in no position to have a lover. If I were to love a woman, I would naturally want to spend my life with her, which would increase the possibility of having children. That was a luxury I couldn’t afford.”

Kisa listened silently to his words.

“My family didn’t expect me to become a devout monk at the monastery, but the reason they sent me there, of all places, was because they hoped I wouldn’t start a family like a monk would. One seed of misfortune was enough.”

The Hillan family didn’t want to risk complicating the succession even slightly due to Seiard’s children.

“It’s true that I went through an embarrassing period of wandering due to resentment towards my family and rebellion against the monastery’s old-fashioned ways. However, I swear I never formed any relationships that I couldn’t take responsibility for.”

He stopped walking and met Kisa’s gaze.

“I want you to believe this one thing.”

His eyes were so sincere that it seemed impossible to think he was lying.

“If I really had a lover, my family would have noticed first and sent me to another region. Or they might have even confined me.”

But thinking Kisa might not believe him easily, he added a few more words with a sheepish expression.

“Above all, if you were to ask that person from Bonzmos whom Daniel Lowens met who the woman I was involved with was, they wouldn’t be able to answer. Because there was no such person.”

It felt strangely flustered, unlike the usually composed Seiard.

“People are too much. Just because I got tired of gambling and secluded myself in the mountains for a while, they spread such rumors. Well, I might bear some responsibility too. I knew there were rumors about me having a woman, but I was too lazy to actively explain. At the time, I didn’t want to mingle with others much due to my rebellious spirit-”

“Seiard.”

Kisa gently tugged on his sleeve, bringing his reddish-brown eyes, which had been directed at the ground, back to her.

“You don’t need to say any more.”

Unlike before, she could now say confidently.

“No matter what others say, I believe in you.”

After a moment of silence, he smiled somewhat weakly and said thank you.

“I hope you will continue to believe in me in the future.”

As the man spoke, late spring flower petals fell on his head.

Afterwards, Kisa and Seiard briefly discussed how to respond to Daniel’s machinations before the concert was due to start.

“I’ll make my own preparations in case of any contingencies, so don’t worry, Kisa.”

“Alright. I won’t respond even if Daniel tries to arrange a meeting.”

“It would probably be best not to get involved from the start. However, if you ever want to talk to that person, I won’t stop you.”

“What? I don’t want to at all. I believe in you, Seiard.”

“…Thank you for saying that.”

When Kisa declared this, Seiard seemed secretly pleased, though he didn’t show it.

Soon, Kisa could understand why he had spoken that way.

From his position, it would probably be difficult to strongly demand that Kisa not meet the witness Daniel was supposedly bringing.

It might seem like he was preemptively trying to cut off the possibility because he had something to hide.

While she understood such feelings, Kisa wished Seiard would just honestly tell her not to meet them.

‘Sometimes it’s like this.’

He would go out of his way to help with Kisa’s affairs, but when it came to his own matters, he tended to be defensive.

How should she put it? It seemed he didn’t have much faith in the goodwill directed towards him.

Come to think of it, he had the experience of being abandoned by his family early on, so it made sense.

If Kisa had gone through the same childhood as him, she would have become an even darker person than him.

Suddenly feeling a lump in her throat, she found Seiard admirable for growing up so well despite his unfortunate circumstances. It was at that moment.

“Well, if it isn’t the Duke of Hillan!”

A man appeared in front of the two as they were about to enter the townhouse.

“It’s been a while.”

As Seiard greeted him with recognition, the man showed great interest in Kisa as well.

“This must be the rumored fiancée. She’s as beautiful as they say.”

“The engagement ceremony hasn’t taken place yet. Kisa, you can go in ahead if you’d like.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later then.”

Sensing that she might be subjected to various annoying questions if she stayed, Kisa accepted Seiard’s consideration and made her way towards the mansion.

But it wasn’t long before she had to wonder if that had been the wrong choice.

“Oh my, Lady Banspelt.”

She encountered two women who pursed their lips meaningfully upon seeing Kisa.

They were attendees of the princess’s tea party.