If You Want To Possess Me - Chapter 100

However, the moment she saw him again, he was undoubtedly the person Kisa was familiar with.

Seyerd. Her ever-gentle lover.

Kisa shook her head weakly and opened her mouth.

“I was just a bit startled because I didn’t know Seyerd was there. When did you come?”

“Just now. I was about to go outside for a stroll in the garden when I noticed the door here slightly ajar. I had a feeling.”

Seyerd, who had approached right next to Kisa, crossed his arms.

“I never imagined you would actually be here.”

Feeling somewhat embarrassed, Kisa scratched her cheek.

“I’m sorry for entering without permission.”

“Sorry for what? I was the one who told you that you could enter anywhere in this mansion.”

Indeed, on the day he had shown Kisa around this place, he had said those words.

‘Except for one room.’

Immediately correcting her thoughts that were about to stray in a strange direction, she revealed the reason for coming here as if making an excuse.

“Actually, it’s similar for me too. I was on my way to take a walk when this room suddenly caught my eye.”

“…Hmm, because of this painting?”

Seyerd turned to look at the portrait of his brother that Kisa had been appreciating until a moment ago, making a slightly subtle expression.

Kisa hurriedly waved her hand.

“No, not at all. Originally, I came in wondering if there would be a portrait of Seyerd’s childhood, but seeing this painting suddenly reminded me of a memory. I was just reminiscing about old times for a moment.”

“What old times?”

“Ah, it’s something that happened two or three years ago.”

Since it wasn’t particularly something to hide, Kisa told Seyerd about the time she encountered Viscerk Hillan at Princess Arta’s banquet.

Of course, in front of his family member, she didn’t mention the fact that she had disliked Viscerk from the beginning or her speculation that he must have deliberately spilled the wine on her dress.

Kisa tried her best to list only objective facts until the very end as she finished her story.

“I see.”

After hearing Kisa’s words, Seyerd lowered his eyebrows as if embarrassed.

“I apologize. I had no idea Viscerk had been so rude to you.”

“Oh, rude? Not at all.”

“But Kisa’s cherished dress was-”

“I felt that way at the time, but thinking about it now, I feel it was rather fortunate. That dress was a gift from Daniel, that jerk, anyway.”

Looking back, it was truly the case.

If Viscerk hadn’t ruined the dress that day, Kisa would have most likely worn it to various important events here and there.

‘Just imagining it makes me dizzy.’

Ruminating that it was a great fortune to have worn it once and then being unable to wear it again, she continued.

“And also, thanks to returning home early that day, I was able to take medicine and rest well.”

In a sense, Kisa’s wish to return home even before the banquet began had been fulfilled.

“In the end, the duke’s mistake turned out to be helpful to me in many ways.”

Originally, it was something she had brought up so that Seyerd wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but Kisa felt herself gradually being convinced by the words she had uttered herself.

‘Oh, come to think of it, that’s true.’

How should she express it? At the time, it was such a humiliating and unfair incident that it could have even appeared in nightmares, so she had sealed it deep in her heart, but when she actually brought it out, it wasn’t as big of a deal as she thought.

Viscerk Hillan. Kisa looked at the man in the portrait once again.

Even facing that person who had been fearsome and repulsive, now she didn’t feel much negative emotion.

No, rather, since he looked exactly like Seyerd, she even felt a favorable impression.

Back then, she hadn’t recognized it well, but looking again, Viscerk was also quite handsome.

‘How fickle the human heart is.’

When she first heard the news of his death, she could only feel a faint sympathy along with discomfort, but now she sincerely felt sorry for him.

Despite having everything and being in a position that others looked up to, he had passed away due to an unfortunate fire accident in an instant.

At the same time, thinking that if Viscerk hadn’t died, Seyerd would have been in the monastery for life and wouldn’t have met Kisa, she felt a strange emotion.

Feeling an inexplicable sense of guilt, Kisa wanted to know more about the person named Viscerk Hillan.

So, for starters, she decided to ask about the most noticeable point first.

“Did your brother have quite poor eyesight?”

“What? Why do you ask…”

“Just curious. Seyerd has good eyesight, so I wondered if it’s different even for twin brothers.”

Meeting Kisa’s gaze, Seyerd remained silent for a moment as if recalling his memory.

“I’m not sure. The last time I saw him, he was reading books well without glasses.”

“Oh, then why did he bother wearing glasses?”

“Perhaps he wanted to look older. Since he became the family head at a relatively young age, he probably didn’t want to be looked down upon by others.”

“Indeed, that makes sense too.”

As expected. Unbeknownst to Kisa, Viscerk Hillan was also an ordinary person with human concerns.

“Ah, but when was that? The last time Seyerd saw his brother.”

It sounded like it happened more recently than she thought, so she asked out of curiosity, and Kisa’s guess was correct.

“Calculating it, it was about half a year before Viscerk died. While organizing the warehouse, several items that I had used in my childhood were discovered, and he called me to a villa located near Bonsmos, saying he would share them with me.”

It was the first time she had heard this story.

“Well, that was the nominal reason, but it was probably to personally check on how I was doing. Viscerk had a thorough temperament. To the extent that he wouldn’t be satisfied with just reports from his subordinates.”

“…I see. So that happened.”

Perhaps Kisa’s expression darkened, as Seyerd spoke jokingly as if to comfort her.

“It’s alright. It wasn’t all bad things. When we met, I asked him to increase the monthly living expenses he was sending me, and he agreed without a word. Thanks to that, I lived abundantly for a while.”

“Really?”

He gently wrapped his arms around Kisa’s waist as she smiled softly.

“More importantly, Kisa. Why are you suddenly curious about Viscerk? No matter how much he is my brother, showing interest in another man in front of your lover is really too much. I’m jealous.”

Although he said that, in Kisa’s eyes, it seemed like Seyerd was inwardly pleased.

Perhaps he was happy that Kisa’s interest extended even to his family.

She could understand because she had felt a similar emotion when he had asked about memories with Countess Vanspelt in passing before.

“Oh, Seyerd.”

Kisa pretended to be defeated and buried herself in his arms.

The two stayed like that for a while and then went around the room to view other paintings as well.

Incidentally, Kisa was able to successfully achieve her original purpose.

As she had hoped, there existed a painting of Seyerd’s childhood in that place.

Unfortunately, there was only one, and even that depicted Seyerd small in a family portrait.

‘This is too much. Just because he was born as the younger of twins, he receives this kind of treatment.’

While clicking her tongue like that, Kisa eagerly appreciated even that painting.

Seyerd in his four or five years old was several times cuter than Kisa had imagined.

However, there was one small problem…

“Um, which one is Seyerd?”

Because the brothers looked too similar even when young, Kisa had to ask him herself which of the two children was her lover’s childhood self.

But even Seyerd, the person in question, shook his head with an embarrassed face.

“I’m not sure either. I have almost no memories of that time, and I also saw this painting for the first time while looking around the mansion recently after returning to the capital.”

“I… I see.”

It was a laughable situation that she finally had her lover’s childhood in front of her eyes, but she couldn’t tell which of the two was him.

Having no choice, Kisa stared at both children as if engraving them in her mind and then left the portrait room.

Who could be the real Seyerd?

The truth remained buried in darkness.

Coming out to the hallway and looking out the window, the dawn light was still dyeing the world.

Judging by how early the two of them had woken up, it seemed there were a couple of hours left until Hillan Mansion would wake up from sleep and begin its full-fledged activities.

Suddenly, Kisa became curious about the reason he had gotten up so early.

For her, it was because of a hangover, but what about Seyerd?

However, when he heard her question, he gave a somewhat meaningful smile.

“Do you really not know why, Kisa?”

“Why? Is it something I should know?”

When Kisa asked cautiously, he tickled his lover’s cheek with his right hand.

“Actually, I didn’t wake up early, I couldn’t sleep at all.”

“What?”

Suddenly, Seyerd’s voice became much lower.

“I dare to assert. There is no man in the world who can calmly fall asleep after hearing a request from the woman he loves to spend the night together.”

For a moment, Kisa was at a loss for words.

“Ah… that’s…”

Right, that happened.

The memory of last night, which she had momentarily forgotten due to Viscerk’s portrait, came back to life.

Kisa, feeling shy, lowered her head deeply, not knowing where to rest her gaze.

“But Seyerd, you seemed fine at that time…”

To her protest, tender like a newly sprouted bud, Seyerd mischievously replied.

“I was desperately pretending to be fine. You probably can’t even imagine how much I was holding back then.”

The man who said that abruptly intertwined his hand with Kisa’s.

Kisa had no choice but to raise her head and meet his eyes as something unfamiliar crept between her fingers.

In the early morning, silence descended upon the deserted hallway.

The person who first broke that silence, which was subtly squeezing her heart, was Kisa.

“You… don’t have to hold back.”

In a clear voice, she conveyed her intention.

“No, don’t hold back.”