I didn’t know what to say to Floyd, who was muttering that he didn’t feel like himself. Feeling his hair tickle her ear and nape, Roxiana silently looked down at his head.

“So, Princess, just leave me alone for now.”

He finally said, raising his head. The forced smile on his face so close to her was heartbreaking.

“I’ll feel better after a drink and some sleep.”

This time, I couldn’t stop him as he turned away. He walked away briskly without looking back once. It was the same pace and the same back view as always, but for some reason he looked smaller. Like that boy I saw in the garden of Ider Palace when we were young.

“Aren’t you going to stop him?”

Robert, who had been quietly standing behind all this time, asked.

“How can I stop him?”

“He seemed to be easily caught by you, Princess. If you tell him you love him, the Grand Duke’s heart would be much more at ease.”

“How did you…!”

Roxiana turned to Robert in surprise.

“How… did you know?”

“How many years have I been watching you, Princess? Since you were this small.”

Robert pointed to the height of his knee.

“I’ve been watching, haven’t I?”

“…”

“I had my suspicions from the first time I saw you…”

Robert said, looking at Floyd’s retreating back.

“It’s so obvious that it’s painful to watch. If he only knew your feelings, he might be less anxious.”

“Would that really be the case?”

Once I became aware of my love, that love grew even larger. The vague emotion that used to just make my heart flutter occasionally, swelled up enormously as soon as I named it love.

This enormous love made Floyd exist in every moment. It made me hesitate even in making decisions about the High Temple’s proposal, made me make reckless choices instead of better paths, to the point of being swayed by love.

Even though I knew what the top priority was, I kept getting pulled in different directions. The path I should walk was right in front of me, but I kept turning my eyes elsewhere.

Just becoming aware of it has brought me to this state, but what if I let these feelings out? If I convey them to him?

Would I still be myself then? Would I be able to maintain my desire to bring down the blood mace on Lucas and Elise?

Then it would be the same for Floyd too.

Far from easing his anxiety, he might become even more restless than now. Then I too would be swayed by those feelings and my steps would slow down.

“Since I’m not the Grand Duke, I don’t know how his heart would change upon hearing your confession… But I can understand the feeling of being afraid of losing the person you love.”

Knowing Robert’s past, Roxiana kept her mouth shut.

After his fiancée died from an epidemic, Robert never looked at another woman. In his eyes, people who love each other but can’t express their feelings might seem luxurious.

“Robert. The Grand Duke dislikes women.”

“Yes, I know. But you, Princess…”

“Robert, the reason the Grand Duke dislikes women is because of what happened with the Queen of Gania in the past. It’s because Christine Pelur was terrible that he finds women like her terrible.”

“…”

“The Grand Duke might love me now. But what if he occasionally discovers something in me that reminds him of Christine Pelur? Would he still be able to love me then? Would that love continue even if he saw me smiling while pushing Lucas and Elise into despair?”

As I spoke, there were too many reasons why we shouldn’t love each other.

“And me? How long could I endure the Grand Duke who tries to stop my revenge and what I’m trying to do? How long would this patience, born from the debt of gratitude for saving my life, last? How long could I tolerate him constantly stopping me and getting angry when I want to use my life as I see fit?”

Tears briefly welled up in Roxiana’s eyes before disappearing.

“My heart aches, I feel sorry, I want to hold him, I feel like crying, but there’s a part of me that thinks I shouldn’t cry over something like this. As long as I think of love as merely ‘something like this’, I think this love can’t work.”

Her tear-stained voice gradually became calm.

“At least, that’s what I think love should be.”

+++

Floyd, who had been walking briskly, stopped when he saw the ash-gray wolf standing in front of him. On top of the huge wolf’s head sat a white otter about the size of two palms.

Floyd crouched down with a smirk.

“You’ve brought a cute friend, haven’t you?”

Lion tilted his head slightly, almost causing the otter to roll off. Floyd stared blankly as the otter scrambled to climb back onto the wolf’s head.

His eyes were on the wolf, but his mind was full of Roxiana.

‘Roxiana. What should I do with you?’

He knew that even if he did nothing, she could now manage well on her own. Yet there was an obsession that refused to acknowledge this, even while knowing it.

A petty and stubborn obsession thinking that she might still want to die, that she might die without him, that she needed his protection and attention.

It was frustrating and pathetic to be in a situation where he couldn’t do this or that, full of obsession yet unable to convey his overflowing feelings.

If I tell you I love you, what expression would you make?

I’m curious and afraid.

If I tell you that my consideration for you is not due to my generosity, but because of this petty love, how would you react?

You’d probably smile. Would you say you’d accept even this love since I said I’d do anything? But your eyes would only be focused on Lucas and Elise. My clumsy love would only be a shackle hindering your steps.

And I.

−”If you don’t want to see your mother die, you’d better treat Lucas more respectfully. Do you understand, Floyd?”

Convulsively, that woman would overlap with you, and there would come days when I’d suffer from the visions of a child unable to forget the past. Unable to hide such a self, you too would eventually notice the disgust within me.

You shine brilliantly unlike that woman, but would the pathetic child inside me think the same? Would you still be dazzling in the eyes of that foolish child who could do nothing while watching his mother die?

So it can’t be. If I conveyed these premature feelings, I might end up hurting you instead. It might become a rope strangling your neck.

“Haa.”

The stuffiness filling his chest escaped as a sigh. The otter, who had been staring at Floyd with purple eyes, jumped from the wolf’s head and landed on his arm. It scurried up his arm and sat on Floyd’s shoulder, lightly licking his cheek.

Floyd, lost in thought and unaware of what the otter was doing, turned his head at the feeling of something licking his cheek. Seeing the small creature staring at him intently, Floyd chuckled.

“You’re fearless. What if you get caught by humans and have your fur skinned off?”

The otter tilted its head. Floyd gently tickled the otter’s head with his index finger before standing up.

“Seems you’re used to human touch. Let’s go together. The Princess will find you cute.”

+++

The first time is difficult, but the second time is easy.

Elise had Ranian kill Edic Mihor in the meantime. Edic Mihor, who was the first to come and pressure her to repay the debt as soon as her situation became difficult.

It wasn’t a crime punishable by death, and his death wouldn’t make the debt disappear, but someone who acted so rudely towards her had to pay the price.

“Shall I bring the head this time too?”

At the order to kill Edic, Ranian asked submissively.

“No, it’s troublesome to dispose of. Just cut off a finger and bring it.”

“Yes, my lady.”

On the day rumors spread that bank president Edic Mihor had disappeared, Elise finally entered the Robba Palace of Gania as the ‘prospective Crown Princess’.

Only Lucas and his people welcomed Elise, but it didn’t matter. She never thought she would be loved by everyone from the start. She didn’t even intend to be loved in the first place.

‘The one who reigns doesn’t need to be loved, right? The one who reigns only needs authority. And authority comes from fear.’

Ranian, the gift from Retrochika, was the perfect being to instill the fear Elise had in mind. At some point, people would realize that those who confronted or defied Elise disappeared.

‘But they won’t be able to find evidence linking it to me.’

There might be suspicions, but with no physical evidence, no witnesses, and no bodies, no one would be able to point fingers at Elise. If they pointed fingers without countermeasures, those fingers might end up getting cut off.

‘It would be nice if I could kill the King and Queen while I’m at it.’

Originally, the plan was to deal with the King and Queen right after marrying Lucas, but as if reading Elise’s mind, Retrochika sternly advised:

−”You mustn’t rashly touch the King and Queen. The monarchs of each country receive blessings from the High Priest every year, making them resistant to black magic. Even if you succeed by chance, it leaves traces. So when dealing with them, you must not use bugs.”

It turned out to be such a pity. It was an opportunity to comfort Lucas as he mourned the loss of his parents, and to gain more of his heart. An opportunity to become the only person he could rely on.

‘There’s no need to be impatient. Becoming the Crown Princess is the top priority. Once I become the Crown Princess, I can make them like me. If that doesn’t work, I can look for other opportunities.’

The problem was whether she could really become that Crown Princess.