I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 86

Selina’s morning routine was always the same. She would get up, groom herself, go to the Imperial Palace, and give her morning greetings.

The greeting was just an excuse in reality. Selina always had everyone around the Emperor sent out after the morning greeting. What happened afterwards was always a secret known only to Selina and Cledius.

Cledius also did not push away or refuse the Empress who burrowed into his arms. Thanks to this, Selina could be embraced by the Emperor in the morning without anyone’s interference.

But this morning was somehow strange.

Until she gave her morning greeting, she thought it was the same as usual.

Cledius usually had a slightly frowning face in the morning. But soon, when Selina sat on his lap and whispered sweet words, the wrinkles between his brows would quickly smooth out.

So this time too, she thought it would be the same, and sat on Cledius’s lap. Then she put her arms around his neck and pressed her body close.

‘Empress, we are in the midst of morning work.’

His firm voice was heard, but Selina did not stop.

She knew how to make Cledius look at her at times like this. She calls him “Your Majesty” in an excited voice. Then slowly tracing his jawline and neck with her hand, into his shirt…

‘Stop.’

Cledius grabbed Selina’s hand and stopped it. Selina looked alternately at her stopped hand and Cledius with surprised eyes. But he didn’t even give a glance to the Empress.

His red eyes that Selina loved so much. Those red eyes that she thought were only hers were just fixed on documents.

It wasn’t simply because he was busy. It was closer to an invisible, wide distance. Not taking one step back due to busy work, but turning his back after moving far away.

She couldn’t remember how she returned to the Empress’s Palace. Since the morning, Selina had been holed up in her room with a deadpan expression.

No matter how busy Cledius was, he had never pushed Selina away. So she naturally believed he liked her, loved her. She thought if his feelings had cooled, he wouldn’t push aside busy work to meet her eyes and lips.

Come to think of it, he hasn’t been visiting the Empress’s Palace as often as before lately. Rather, there were more days when Selina went to the Emperor’s Palace. Although he said he had many things to worry about recently, her intuition pointed elsewhere.

The series of recent events began to trouble Selina one by one, tinged with anxiety.

The problem was the Empress at the end of Cledius’s gaze. The look in his eyes when he looked at Ilarid was different from when he looked at Selina.

It was closer to an incomplete heart with unfathomable inner thoughts, not simple desire. When Selina tried to dig into Cledius to figure out that heart, his sharp reply was immediately heard. Saying, stop.

Selina’s lime-green eyes began to waver again as she recalled the morning’s events.

“It seems… His Majesty the Emperor has grown cold. Now I’m really just a bother to him…”

“Ho ho, Your Highness the Empress. First, stop your tears.”

Tears that she thought had dried up burst out again. Selina practically rubbed her face with her handkerchief. Count Diobe clicked his tongue briefly and began to soothe his youngest daughter.

“It must be because work is too hard for him. How can state affairs be easy? Starting with the endless incoming documents, even those Rosen fellows have been causing trouble recently. Soon there will be the Imperial ball, and new envoys are coming from Pegeia as well.”

Selina’s shaking shoulders gradually subsided. The Count didn’t miss this opportunity and eagerly added words, moistening his lips.

“In the midst of all this chaos, if Your Highness gets in the way unnecessarily… Isn’t it the Empress’s duty to understand His Majesty’s mood and make him comfortable?”

Count Diobe looked around the room and plucked a pink flower from the vase. Then he held out the ‘Selina’ to Selina, who was finishing wiping her tears.

“Look at this fresh flower. He gives these specially cultivated greenhouse flowers only to Your Highness the Empress. Moreover, he manages them daily so they don’t wither, which is proof that his affection hasn’t cooled yet.”

Selina received the flower with trembling hands. Yes, that’s right. I’ve heard that love doesn’t change easily. He said he’s been busy with various things including foreign rebellions these past few days.

She repeated it over and over in her mind, as if brainwashing herself.

To Selina, love was eternal and an immutable law. The world surrounding her was always solid and would never crumble.

Count Diobe let out a sigh of relief and continued to pat his now calm daughter. Originally, he didn’t come to the palace to say such things, but somehow it turned into a time of consolation.

“Well, the reason I came today is… about that painting Your Highness bought from the Marchioness of Geminia last time.”

“Ah, I did as the Madam instructed. Don’t worry.”

Selina answered quite firmly. It was a painting bought from an artist who supposedly had long-standing connections with the Marchioness. When she did as the Madam said, quite a large sum of money came into her hands.

‘My husband will inform His Majesty the Emperor. If he knows about this, he would be very pleased…’

Cledius being pleased. That sentence was like magic. Selina decided to take more interest in paintings. If she just does as the Marchioness instructs, his trust will become even more solid.

“Now, if you just accomplish one more thing, it will be perfect.”

Her father grasped Selina’s hand tightly. Selina could guess what it was.

Conceiving an imperial heir. The most important thing, and what the Empress has not yet accomplished.

If only the good news of the Empress being with child is heard, all the nobles who take Count Diobe’s side and support the Emperor will rise up. Saying let’s quickly drive out the useless ornament of an Empress.

The issue of succession directly linked to the next imperial throne must be ahead of the Empress. Only then can they find fault and depose her.

But Selina said in a deflated voice that was barely audible:

“But… there’s still no news.”

“Well, that’s a bit…”

Count Diobe trailed off, seeming troubled. Is a child really heaven’s will? Despite spending countless days and nights with Cledius, there were still no signs in Selina’s body.

Should we call a famous fortune teller from the Eastern Continent to write some kind of talisman? Count Diobe’s mind raced busily.

“What if there’s something wrong with my body? No matter how much His Majesty loves me, if I can’t conceive an imperial heir, I’m as good as disqualified as Empress.”

The Count patted his daughter as he read the sudden worry that flashed across her face.

“Everything will be fine. His Majesty’s affection hasn’t cooled yet, and the procession of nobles heading to the Empress’s Palace is endless. What are you afraid of? Everyone is on Your Highness’s side.”

Even today, the line of nobles coming to meet the Empress stretched on and on. How about the Empress’s Palace? That place always desolate and quiet. At most, just greeting letters flying in from afar, such a shabby place.

Yes, there’s nothing to be afraid of. The only thing Selina feared was Cledius’s heart. She didn’t care what happened to anything else.

**

“Y-Your Radiant Moon of the Empire. It is the greatest honor to meet you, Your Majesty the Empress.”

Alice barely managed to finish her awkward greeting. Is this right, no, it seems wrong. I really messed up. This is terrible! She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, shout that she was withdrawing, and run away down the corridor.

But she was an adult. If the greeting was wrong, she should accept either ridicule or teaching. When Alice slowly raised her body, the Empress sitting in front of her welcomed her with a soft smile.

“Welcome, Miss Alice. I can’t tell you how glad I am to meet you.”

Someone like me? Alice almost blurted out her thoughts.

Sitting in front of Alice was the Empress who received the love of the people. It was a different feeling from when seen from afar. She had vaguely thought of a splendid and cold image, but underneath was warmth.

But there was something familiar. Even though she knew it was impolite, Ilarid and Alice looked at each other with somewhat reckless gazes. If she forcibly created shadows by covering the forehead area, it seemed like a face she had encountered somewhere before would appear.

Just like the appearance she saw at the Clover Tavern…

‘No way.’

Alice ignored the suspicion rising in her mind.

Fortunately, or should it be said fortunately? Those who met in disguise did not recognize each other and tried to erase the sudden suspicion that had arisen.

“Come, sit here and let’s talk comfortably.”

Ilarid came forward and personally led Alice to the side. Alice almost grabbed that hand. The Empress’s hand was unexpectedly small and cold.

“While sorting through young ladies who haven’t yet entered high society, I suddenly thought I wanted to see you, Miss Alice. Being in the Imperial Palace, I lack both time and people to have such light conversations with.”

Every movement of Ilarid pouring tea was full of grace. Alice barely held back the smile that was about to burst out. She was itching to grab every passerby and boast, “I drank tea poured directly by Her Majesty the Empress!”

“Usually there are no cases of debuts in high society being this late, so I wondered if there might be another reason.”

“It’s… due to personal circumstances.”

There were past family circumstances, but currently it was Alice’s own will. She had never been very interested to begin with, and if forced to do it, how would she spend the rest of her life?

“That can happen. I hope marriage can also be a personal freedom.”

Such words were still premature in the Empire. There were no favorable views towards women who had long passed marriageable age.

But Ilarid quietly expressed agreement while holding her teacup. It contained the advice and wish of someone who had already experienced tragedy arising from marriage once.

Noticing the Empress’s expression becoming too dark, Alice deliberately brought up a light topic in a bright voice.

“What do you usually do in your free time, Your Majesty?”

Lynette’s eyes, who was by Ilarid’s side, widened. She was a bolder young lady than expected. No matter how much the Empress said to speak comfortably, this was the first time a noble young lady promptly asked what she was curious about. And on their first meeting, no less.

Alice seemed to realize her mistake as she clamped her mouth shut and bowed deeply. Her face quickly turned bright red.

“I-I made a mistake… I’m sorry. I was so excited coming here that I blurted out whatever came to mind…”

“It’s better to converse comfortably. We need times like this occasionally. Since I spend most of my time in the Empress’s Palace, I usually do copying or read books.”

“I like that too!”

Alice’s eyes sparkled. The joy of finding someone with something in common shone endlessly.

Although she seemed about the same age as Ilarid, she had quite a cute side. It would be nice to have one more friend like this. Ilarid, whose curiosity was also piqued, asked in a kind tone.

“Do you have any books you particularly like?”

“The novel ‘To the Dying Hours’ by Aluest. I heard the third volume came out recently… Oh, perhaps you don’t like novels much?”

“Nothing is as precious as stories. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard of Aluest’s novels. I haven’t read past the first volume, so it’s quite regrettable.”

“You must read it! You definitely won’t regret it. Especially the protagonist’s descriptions when reminiscing about the past are excellent. I also read an interesting account of experiencing a labor site. Apparently some reporter wrote it after working in a factory for a few months. They say conditions have improved a lot thanks to Your Majesty the Empress, but there’s still a long way to go.”

“Thanks to me…?”

Alice’s chattering words trailed off with regret. Ilarid tilted her head with a puzzled expression. She didn’t seem to have been heavily involved in labor issues.

Rather, it was Alice who was taken aback. She asked as if inquiring about an obvious fact:

“I mean ‘that incident’ at the factory.”