I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 66

Looking back, I had lived obsessed with war and power.

That was all there was to that time, and it was everything that made up the present Cledius. I ruthlessly struck down those who stood in my way, and conquered neighboring countries one by one by waging war.

A madman obsessed with war. The worst tyrant. And a cold-hearted father who even forgot his child’s death anniversary.

Coming here today was a form of atonement in its own way. I thought that if I offered even a simple prayer, my uneasy heart would be soothed.

But the scene that entered Cledius’ eyes was a completely unexpected sight.

Ilarid, who had always been icy and unwavering, collapsed entrusting her entire body to another person.

Moreover, the other person was the mercenary captain who had only recently entered the imperial palace.

‘Since when with that guy…’

Was there a point of contact? Cledius hurriedly tried to recall the past. But officially, there had never been a clear encounter between the two.

Then it was more likely that Lebel had approached Ilarid first. He must have circled around, drawing closer to her bit by bit, very little by little.

A gaze full of coldness and contempt. Where had that look that used to glare at Cledius gone, now replaced by a figure crying and gasping for breath?

Cledius had never even imagined Ilarid crying in someone else’s arms.

Wasn’t she always the empress of a country who emphasized proper behavior? That Ilarid was in the arms of a strange man.

And with a lowly man whose origins were not even properly known.

The reddened, swollen eyes seemed clearly visible even from where Cledius was standing. That expression she had never shown in front of Cledius.

Precisely after the swordsmanship competition, he had detected that Ilarid’s expressions had become a bit more varied. Had her smile always been so beautiful? Her brief smile continued to dominate his mind even after entering the banquet hall following the swordsmanship competition.

‘…I wonder if she smiled in front of that guy too.’

Cledius turned around and left. He felt something boiling up inside. Jealousy, perhaps? It was the appearance of an unexpected rival in love. He had not imagined that Lebel would be hovering around the empress.

He didn’t know what state of mind he was in when he returned to the place where the military meeting was being held. As Cledius opened the door and entered, everyone sitting rose to look at him.

Cledius carefully examined the men in military uniforms inside the conference room as he entered.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

He plopped down in the chair placed in the center of the table. Anyone could see that the emperor’s mood was quite displeased. All the ministers and officers in the conference room tensed up at once.

Leaning back slightly in his chair, Cledius’ body exuded both composure and dark intentions.

Crossing one leg over the other, he blurted out as if imagining something enjoyable:

“We’ll dispatch the Rikas mercenary corps to Rosen.”

It was fine even if Ilarid didn’t do anything, just being by his side. Resentment and hatred touching him was rather happiness than indifference. It was proof that Ilarid was alive, and there was certainty that she would eventually crumble.

Even if she broke down, she had to shatter in Cledius’ arms.

‘How dare a worm-like guy whose origins are unknown…’

Cledius forcefully swallowed the anger rising inside. With dirty hands, he had embraced the empress, held her in his arms, and wiped away her tears.

‘You dare touch what’s mine?’

Strength entered the hand that was resting on his chin. Those in the conference room looked puzzled and confused by the sudden change in strategy.

“But Your Majesty, it would be difficult to completely suppress the rebels with just the mercenary corps.”

“Call the mercenary captain, Lebel. I’ll give him orders directly.”

Since he was truly someone who carried out missions exactly as given, there was a need to point things out accurately this time as well.

The military meeting ended just like that. After some time had passed, the conference room was empty with only the emperor remaining.

Sitting like a wooden statue in the chair, the image of the two kept flashing through Cledius’ mind. It had been a long time since he’d forgotten the sensation of embracing Ilarid. The unfilled curves and touch of a body clearly different from the empress.

Yet another man, and a lowly one at that, neither royalty nor nobility, had embraced her.

He stood up, striking the table.

The traces of petty jealousy echoed through the conference room as a dull noise.

**

I was told that when tears come, you should let them flow without wiping them away. That way, your eyes won’t swell or sting, I heard.

But having already wiped them away several times, Ilarid’s eyes were clearly reddened. Probably even in the evening, maybe even until tomorrow morning, a stinging sensation would wash over her every time she washed her face.

Lebel was still kneeling on the ground, gently patting Ilarid.

His height and build suddenly felt real. If Lebel set his mind to it, he might be able to devour her whole body.

Ilarid barely managed to compose her tear-stained face in his arms. It was the first time she had cried while being held by a stranger. This wasn’t just borrowing a shoulder; it was like borrowing an entire body for a day.

The area around Lebel’s shoulder was soaked with tears. Ilarid’s cheeks flushed hot as she noticed the stain.

“This, um…”

“Do you feel a little relieved?”

Lebel’s tone suggested he hadn’t even cared about it in the first place. He was just, watching over Ilarid.

A careful touch reached the hair by her ear. The disheveled and fallen strands of hair slowly swam between Lebel’s fingers.

And was it just her imagination? Somehow, even his eyes seemed to have reddened.

“Thanks to you. Thank you…”

The words of gratitude were sincere. A strange person who continued to search for and care for a child forgotten in people’s memories.

And a person who comforted her, saying it wasn’t her fault.

She wanted to feel the warmth of this gentle person, if only a little. But Lebel pulled Ilarid away from his embrace. The momentary gap felt resentful.

“Your Majesty the Empress.”

But the voice that approached was deep and affectionate. Eyes as blue-gray as a winter night once again bored into Ilarid.

“I want to be a strength for Your Majesty the Empress.”

Lebel’s clear eyes were burning. He began to step into the flames one step at a time, looking straight at Ilarid.

“Until the moment I wear away to nothing, I will live for Your Majesty the Empress.”

Live for me. Ilarid let out a breath she had been holding. Her arms fell down naturally as the tension that had been released suddenly loosened.

She didn’t want to openly doubt that devoted appearance. But since meeting Ilarid, Lebel seemed to have thrown everything at her in particular.

She asked back in a trembling voice.

“…What’s the reason?”

Lebel just blinked quietly, as if hesitating about something. Was he choosing words he wanted to say? The blue light between his long eyelashes fragmented and disappeared repeatedly.

After some time had passed, he opened his lips with difficulty.

“I have fallen for Your Majesty the Empress.”

There were no words that followed. After a heavy and deep silence, the corners of Lebel’s mouth turned up slightly.

“Was that an answer?”

He confessed in a soft voice that he had fallen in love at first sight. The face that had seemed only fierce and strong began to curve little by little.

Is this how everyone who falls in love at first sight looks at the other person? Ilarid lowered her gaze upon seeing that smooth and beautiful curve.

What should I do with this person?

“So whenever you need me, please call for me.”

He quietly smiled as he removed his hand that had been gripping Ilarid’s shoulder.

“My dirty hands have unavoidably touched Your Majesty the Empress. Please consider it with a broad mind.”

It was like a rope that appeared in a moment of being swept up in sadness.

A salvation that caught Ilarid as she was shaking and crumbling. Moreover, it was what she had been hoping and wishing for. How could she push it away?

She didn’t want to let go of the lifeline that had come into her hands. If possible, she wanted to stay in Lebel’s warmth for a long time.

**

Cledius said nothing after placing Lebel in front of him.

As soon as Lebel returned to the garrison, Cledius’ order came crashing down. It was an august command to come to the imperial palace immediately. As a mercenary, he had no right to refuse. He obediently complied with Cledius’ order.

But Cledius himself just sat at his desk reviewing and signing documents after calling the person in. In fact, even those movements were incredibly boring. It would be more accurate to say he was killing time rather than working.

Accordingly, Lebel’s patience was quite tenacious. He didn’t move a muscle until darkness filled the office and servants began lighting candles and lamps one by one.

Finally, he threw the documents he was holding onto the desk and stood up. Lebel bowed his head, silently indicating that he was ready to hear the order.

“A rebellion has broken out in Rosen. The Rikas mercenary corps is to go to Rosen and suppress the rebels.”

It was something he had expected to some extent. Lebel’s hand twitched slightly. The more forcefully they went and the more they oppressed them, the greater the will for independence would grow.

Cledius slowly walked towards Lebel. He didn’t seem anxious even after uttering the tremendous word ‘rebellion’. He stood in front of Lebel with his hands clasped behind his back, at ease.

“Since our captain carries out my words accurately, I’ll tell you one by one.”

Cledius’ hand came up and landed on Lebel’s shoulder. He began to give orders to Lebel in a dry voice.

“The leader of the rebellion is to be beheaded immediately in Rosen. Hang the severed head in a visible place.”

“…”

“And after raiding the armory, there is said to be a merchant guild in Rosen that funded the rebels. Transport the owner of that guild and all the employees below to the capital.”

“…Understood.”

“Right now.”

Cledius immediately gave the order, as if he had been waiting for Lebel to finish speaking. It should have been perplexing, but Lebel opened his mouth without wavering.

“I need time to prepare. To get to Rosen, it will take at least…”

“It’s an order. Can’t you hear?”

A faint shadow fell between Cledius’ neat brows.

“Surely you’re not going to do something stupid like defy me. What I said at the last banquet about bestowing land and a title if you achieve merit wasn’t an empty promise. I intend to judge based on your achievements and grant them… Do your best with each given task.”

Lebel quietly looked down at the soft carpet spread on the floor with his head bowed. His head, which had been stopped below, slowly rose.

Blue eyes flashed between the bangs falling in front. Cledius smiled coldly at the mercenary who dared to look at the emperor without knowing his place.

“Prove your skills. If you want to stay in this imperial palace for a long time… Leave right away today and suppress Rosen.”

No sooner had he finished speaking than he deliberately pushed Lebel’s shoulder and left the office. It was a childish provocation and venting of anger for anyone to see.

The poison injected during the swordsmanship competition would be faithfully flowing through Lebel’s body.

Cledius calmed his boiling heart. It was too boring to cut off the enemy’s breath in one go. If anything, it was better to see them writhing in agony and dying before his eyes slowly.

And in terms of ability alone, Lebel was a person with sufficient value to use.

‘Since it’s a terminal life that will die anyway, I should use him as much as I can while I can.’

To Cledius, mercenaries were like parts that could be replaced when worn out. Wasn’t it their fate to be cast aside when they became sick and useless?

He smiled as he imagined the death that would befall the mercenary who had become a love rival. A death met while suffering from dizziness and high fever, vomiting blood. It was a punishment given to one who dared to covet what belonged to him.