I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 64

Cledius put down his pen with a loud noise. Ink droplets splattered on the document that he hadn’t wiped off, but he didn’t care. He stood up with a furrowed expression.

“What’s the situation?”

“Currently, all major port strongholds have been occupied. The weapons depots we were monitoring in Rosen were all attacked last night. Some of the stationed troops have urgently retreated to the rear of Rosen.”

“We should have disarmed them all, did the Duke have any soldiers left?”

“Well… it’s a rebellion started by the commoners of Rosen. Most of them are merchants, fishermen, and ordinary civilians. Although they’re untrained, their momentum was so fierce that we had to retreat…”

“Now the imperial army is being defeated even by commoners.”

“…My apologies, Your Imperial Majesty.”

The Minister of Defense quickly apologized and then shut his mouth. An excessive apology could only further provoke Cledius’s anger.

‘Duke of Rosen. So you intend to drive the people of Rosen to their deaths.’

It was no lie when he said that if they tried any foolish acts, he would ensure there would be no living being left in Rosen next time. Cledius was prepared to mobilize the entire imperial army if necessary to suppress their rebellion.

“Convene a military council immediately.”

There was a need to thoroughly demonstrate how those who climb up against the empire end up ruined. Tamil will be busy soon. A curve formed on Cledius’s lips as he thought about the events to come.

**

The Ikastel mansion focused more on efficiency than aesthetics. Feeling more like a fortress than a home, people entering the mansion would inexplicably feel intimidated and look around cautiously.

At first glance, it might seem luxurious, but the mansion was entirely made of stone decorations. It was a sturdy and meticulous house that excluded all excessive ornamentation.

When Cecilia first set foot in this bleak mansion, she felt suffocated by the oppressive atmosphere.

Why were there so many things to protect and so many things not to do? She felt bored to the point of restlessness just sitting still and being waited on by the employees.

At such times, Cecilia would think of her hometown. If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the sound of waves and smell the salty, fishy scent. The hometown friends she used to play with. The rough yet soft sand of the beach she felt on her palms.

Whenever times were tough, she would recall the childhood memories she left behind in Rosen. At least, remembering those times would give her a little strength to go on.

And Jin.

‘Cissy.’

This is what he called her. It was the first nickname Cecilia had in her life and a new name for her. She much preferred Jin’s gentle way of calling her over the adults’ stiff “Cecilia.”

Within the always strict Ikastel mansion, Jin was on the softer and more delicate side. She had once said that he seemed closer to a kind teacher than a soldier. When Jin heard Cecilia’s words, he smiled bitterly and said:

‘Well. If it weren’t for the family’s wishes, I would have liked to teach children in a country school.’

‘What would you have wanted to teach?’

‘Poetry, or novels.’

‘That really doesn’t suit you.’

‘That’s harsh. By the way, Cissy.’

‘Yes.’

‘You don’t have to answer like that at home. This isn’t the military, it’s your home to return to.’

But Cecilia denied Jin’s last sentence. There was only one place for her to return to. Rosen. Near the seaside port town.

That small house her father had built with his own hands. She was determined to return there someday. Even if it meant giving up all her current peace and comfort, that’s what she wanted to do.

As Jin had said, it might be nice to build a small school and live teaching the children of the port town. She had been thinking of subtly suggesting this to her eldest brother when that time came.

But when she learned that Jin had invaded Rosen and received a medal in recognition of his achievements, a corner of Cecilia’s heart crumbled.

Because her eldest brother was a soldier. Because he was a person who had to follow orders. Jin Katia Gwen Ikastel.

She kept telling herself that he had no choice, being someone who bore the honorific title of ‘Katia’, given only to sons in the Ikastel ducal family.

However, after hearing that news, Cecilia could no longer look Jin straight in the eye. The tangled knot grew bigger and bigger, now too tightly entangled to be easily undone.

“Cecilia.”

She stopped her steps towards her room. Turning around, she first saw the elegant dress hem of her mother, Liwena.

“Where have you been out to only come back now?”

Her mother was always graceful. Was it something forcibly put on, or an innate elegance flowing through her body? Was it because she was so refined that she left behind her three-year-old Cecilia and married into the Ikastel family?

Cecilia kept her mouth shut for a moment. She couldn’t say, I went to the newspaper office to hand over evidence of corruption and grade manipulation at the military academy.

Liwena was also an accomplice in this incident. Cecilia averted her gaze and spoke in her usual stiff voice.

“…I just went out for some fresh air.”

“Then you should have dressed properly before going out. Dress elegantly yet modestly like other young ladies.”

“Can elegance and modesty coexist as words?”

“Hey, what kind of way is that to talk to your mother!”

One of the irritating voices came from the far end of the corridor. Cecilia squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them. The only person in this mansion who would shriek in such a high-pitched voice was her half-brother, Paul.

She had thought he would be napping in the academy dormitory or hanging out with women in a bar, but he was already here in the mansion. Cecilia let out a faint sigh and deliberately ignored him.

Paul, on the other hand, was excited to have found something to pick on.

“This country bumpkin is getting bolder and bolder… You, if mother hadn’t pleaded with father, you would have been stuck in Rosen and died in the last war. How dare you be so ungrateful.”

“Paul. What kind of language is that to use with your sister?”

“What sister do I have? A non-imperial native entering the Ikastel family and enjoying all kinds of benefits… Ack!”

Before he could finish speaking, Paul’s scream echoed loudly through the mansion. Paul, who had been kicked squarely on the bottom, fell face-first onto the corridor floor.

Next to Liwena, who wore a troubled expression, stood Jin in his military uniform.

“Brother! Isn’t that too much?”

“I told you not to forget you’re a soldier even outside the academy.”

“You kicked me out of nowhere! And that girl was rude first!”

“Using such a vulgar term as ‘that girl’ for your sister, where did you learn such manners? It’s absolutely unacceptable in the Ikastel family.”

Sister? They didn’t even have the same father. Moreover, Jin and Cecilia were complete strangers without a drop of shared blood. Yet Jin always wrapped Cecilia up as his little sister.

‘Does he go easy on her because she’s a girl? How unfair.’

Paul barely managed to swallow the dissatisfaction rising to the tip of his throat. As much as he wanted to get angry, his eldest brother Jin had always been a frightening presence to him.

After just watching for a while, Paul made a run for it to the end of the corridor. The mother glanced at Cecilia, then rushed to her youngest son.

The siblings who shared not a drop of blood stood awkwardly in the wide corridor. The shadows that had grown long by now drew a long parallel line between Cecilia and Jin that would never overlap.

Breaking a long silence doesn’t necessarily have to be done through conversation. Cecilia simply passed by Jin and headed in the opposite direction.

“Cecilia.”

“……”

“Cissy.”

It was a longed-for nickname. That name that only felt reassuring when heard in Jin’s voice. Cecilia finally stopped moving. Her face was stiff as she turned towards Jin.

“Do you have something to say?”

Cecilia blurted out insensitively. She felt it wasn’t right, but she couldn’t take back the words she had already spit out.

“…It’s been a while.”

Jin managed to utter a word with difficulty. Although she knew his voice was trembling, Cecilia deliberately ignored it.

“Are we on such good terms that we need to exchange pleasantries?”

“Because we’re family…”

The veins in Cecilia’s neck bulged but quickly subsided. Family. Could there be such a strange family in the world? The commonly mocked ‘dog’s family tree’ would be much cleaner.

Jin, the son of the late stepfather and his first wife, Paul, the son born to the second wife Liwena.

And Cecilia, the daughter Liwena had before entering the Ikastel ducal family.

On the surface, there was no problem since they had adopted Cecilia. To others, it would look no different from any other noble family.

But even among family members, do you take the lead in trampling on each other’s hometowns? At the celebration party held at the mansion, the family elders were busy praising Jin.

Jin did nothing. Without saying a word, he just smiled calmly and nodded his head as he listened to the elders’ words.

Silence was tantamount to agreement. She had tried countless times to understand Jin inwardly, thinking it over and over, but in the end, she concluded that she couldn’t fully embrace it.

“What a nice word, family… But what can I do? My family is in Rosen.”

In that Rosen that you took the lead in trampling. Cecilia’s words carried weight. The faint sound of teeth grinding could be heard.

She left the corridor with her fists clenched. Jin reached out to his little sister, stumbling over her old nickname, but it scattered uselessly.

Only Jin remained alone in the wide and quiet corridor. Jin slowly lowered the arm he had extended, tracing Cecilia’s retreating figure.

Should I have gotten angry, saying I had no choice but to follow orders? Or should I have raised my voice to say it wasn’t actually what I did? Would shouting like that have cleared my stuffy chest?

But Jin knew that would be his excuse. Shouting would only make the pit of his stomach feel more bloated.

At the very least, he should have offered even a fabricated apology. But why was it so difficult to spit out that one apology?

His throat felt scratchy as if tiny apple seeds were stuck in it. Jin loosened the collar of his uniform that was choking his throat. A big sigh escaped, but it was just a breath stained with regret.

A useless breath that solved nothing. Jin barely left the shadowy corridor.

**

A rebellion in Rosen.

He had guessed there would be a lot of discontent, but he didn’t know it would burst out this quickly.

Given that it was a place that originally had autonomy, he had expected that a force with grievances would rise up due to their strong desire for freedom.

In fact, suppressing the forces wasn’t difficult. There was nothing simpler and easier than deploying troops to subdue those who resisted with weapons.

The problem was the participation of the common people. Perhaps there was a separate force that had instigated them.

‘I should nip this in the bud.’

The operation was set for dawn the day after tomorrow. All those resisting with weapons would be summarily executed on the spot, and the ringleaders would be identified and transported to the capital.

“The day after tomorrow…”

Cledius’s face stiffened slightly as he checked the small calendar handed to him by his attendant. As he examined the dates, he realized that a very important date had passed.

The anniversary of the child’s death.

The date he always kept in his heart stabbed at his chest. He briefly suspended the meeting and quickly left the conference room.

If he focused on suppressing the rebellion in Rosen and interrogating to find the ringleaders, he would let it slip by again.

Even though the date had passed, wouldn’t it be better to at least stop by and pay his respects than not going at all? Cledius’s steps grew faster and faster.