Ilarid repeated to herself several times. This is a dream, so she doesn’t have to maintain an expressionless face.

Who would find fault with what happened in a dream? She placed her hand on Lebel’s arm that had come up above her waist.

Was it just her imagination? Even though it was a dream, she somehow felt a warm sensation. Lebel, behind Ilarid, matched her every movement. His breath, circling her earlobe, sounded like a whisper.

‘Your Majesty the Empress.’

How can such an ordinary title sound so sweet? Ilarid squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart was pounding fiercely, but she couldn’t even breathe properly.

If she called his name even once more, she felt she would reveal her quickened breathing. Lebel’s hands, which seemed like they would be firm, gently enveloped Ilarid’s body and flowed down repeatedly.

It was the moment when his languid gesture traced her jawline and moved towards her nape.

“…Your Majesty.”

This time, it was someone else’s voice. There was only Lebel in this space, so who could it be…

“Your Majesty the Empress!”

Ilarid jolted up, startled. As a result, lukewarm water spilled over the bathtub. It felt like her blocked airways were finally clearing.

“I apologize. Were you very startled? The bathwater had cooled considerably, so I woke you up fearing you might catch a cold.”

Looking around, it was reality again. The bathroom of the Empress’s palace and Lynette and the maids surrounding her came into view.

Ilarid placed her hand on her forehead. Unless one was insane, who would have such an explicit dream? If anyone heard about it, they would click their tongues, saying she must be quite longing for a man’s touch.

“Did I perhaps say anything strange?”

“No. Rather, we were worried because you were sleeping so quietly.”

The maids looked at Ilarid’s complexion with puzzled expressions. Was it because of bathing in warm water? The Empress’s face was more flushed than usual.

Soon, a soft towel was draped over Ilarid’s body. She buried her face deep into the towel, hiding her unsightly reddened cheeks.

‘What do you mean, use…’

If she wasn’t careful, Ilarid might be the first to give her heart to that mercenary. No, perhaps she had already fallen.

It was a thousand blessings that it was just a dream. Ilarid firmly resolved to keep this fact a secret until her dying day.

**

When evening came, Selina entered the Emperor’s palace as if it were her own home. It was the natural privilege of an Empress favored by the Emperor.

The Emperor was always swamped with work. Today too, she thought he might be with Cledius in the office, but soon changed her mind. Selina ordered the palace maids beside her.

“Today, I will wait for His Majesty in the bedroom.”

A clean and tidy bedroom unfolded before Selina’s eyes. A world only for Cledius and Selina, where they endlessly made love and whispered to each other.

Selina sat on the bed, not hiding the rising smile.

Today too, she had sprayed the perfume that Cledius liked. As soon as he enters the bedroom, he will see Selina and unfailingly kiss her nape. And then he will bury his nose and lips, inhaling the fragrance.

Selina’s face flushed slightly as she imagined. She lay down on Cledius’s bed without hesitation. After all, she would be lying here in a few hours anyway, so it wouldn’t make any difference if she lay down a few minutes earlier.

She hugged the pillow at the head of the bed. The neatly arranged pillowcase wrinkled under Selina’s gesture.

“Huh?”

When Selina put her hand under the pillow, she felt something. A long, soft cloth. It certainly wasn’t bedding. Silk? Selina pulled her hand out completely.

“What is this?”

A long, thin scarf was caught in her hand. The vivid green rippled in Selina’s light green eyes.

“The Empress… Did the Empress come here?”

Selina murmured lowly. As if trying to ignore an unbelievable fact, she shook her head vigorously and clutched the scarf tightly.

She wanted to deny it, but it was definitely Ilarid’s scarf. The one she always wore around her neck. The thin green scarf she always wore even under the hot sun.

What reason would there be to take off something always neatly tied around her neck in the Emperor’s bedroom? The worst scenario played out in Selina’s mind.

Come to think of it, there had been talk about unification. The last time Selina subtly probed, Cledius had only answered indifferently, showing no great agitation or interest.

She had quickly run to Ilarid and exaggerated, saying His Majesty the Emperor was feeling hurt, but it was futile.

The expressionless faces of the two merged into one. Another side of the Emperor and Empress, invisible to Selina, approached ominously.

‘Could there be… something between them that I don’t know about?’

Sometimes Cledius would make a strangely different expression when looking at Ilarid. A face different from when he looked at Selina.

She had tried to ignore the creeping anxiety, but could it be that the fleeting expression that had passed by was still a part of his heart?

Selina crumpled the scarf with all her might. She gripped it so hard that her hands soon lost their blood and turned pale white. If anyone had seen, they would have trembled in fear, saying they felt killing intent.

‘How could you do this to me?’

While she was shaking with a sense of betrayal, the bedroom door opened.

“You were already here.”

That nonchalant voice, as if he knew nothing. Selina turned her head sharply towards the door with tears in her eyes.

Soon, the green scarf was thrown at Cledius’s chest. The thin scarf fell right in front of his feet, all crumpled up.

“You promised not to let Her Majesty the Empress in.”

There was a sob mixed in at the end of her words. A faint sigh escaped Cledius’s lips. He bent down to pick up Ilarid’s scarf. Now, no scent remained on the scarf.

“You said you would only let me into the bedroom. How, how could you break a promise made to someone you love? Why is this scarf in Your Majesty’s bedroom…”

Selina, sitting on the bed, soon buried her face in her hands and began to sob. Over her shaking shoulders, the sound of Cledius walking closer could be heard. The area near Selina collapsed as he sat down beside her.

“The Empress is not my only possession. The Empress is also a being in my hands. I merely played along with a childish provocation.”

He placed his hand on Selina’s shoulder. At his calm but warm touch, Selina’s sobbing subsided a little.

“Your Majesty… do you still love Her Majesty the Empress?”

At the end of her whimper, Selina brought out one curiosity she had been trying to hold back. Cledius simply held Selina silently, without saying anything. An eerie silence flowed between them.

“Didn’t you promise to love only me?”

“Yes…”

Even after hearing Cledius’s answer, she was scared. The fear buried deep in her heart crept up Selina’s legs.

He acted as if he had no lingering feelings for the Empress, but a person’s heart is like a wave that recedes in an instant and then crashes back. No one knows if a fingernail-sized emotion will suddenly grow.

Selina pressed her body closer to Cledius.

She didn’t want to lose him at all. The person who gave her peace and stability. He was the mastermind behind all the privileges Selina currently enjoyed and the first man to whisper words of love to her.

Her fingertips traced the Emperor’s neckline and dug inside. Even though the tear stains had not yet dried, she immediately showed a bold attitude. Cledius, who had been watching her actions, burst into a short laugh.

She was a suitable figure to be a substitute for Ilarid, and to provoke when appropriate. And Selina was an essential existence for hiding funds through the Empress’s palace.

“I heard you had tea with the noble ladies today.”

“Yes…”

“It would be good to heed their advice well. Especially Viscountess Geminia, who has a very deep knowledge of the arts.”

“I will keep that in mind. I’ll try hard.”

Selina nodded vigorously in Cledius’s arms. She was confident she could do anything for the person she loved.

“Indeed, the Empress is different from the Empress Consort.”

He murmured, burying his face in Selina’s neck. Following Cledius’s breath, her body began to heat up.

“How is it different?”

“I have to show you directly. That’s the Empress Consort’s job.”

Cledius whispered softly as he wrapped Selina’s waist and laid her down on the bed. Her clear, sparkling light green eyes smiled like a crescent moon beneath him.

The green eyes he truly desired were not present. Only remaining as a crumpled scarf, never to approach Cledius’s side.

Cledius raised his hand and covered Selina’s eyes. Just for today, her innocent gaze was irritating.

**

The small doll she had been making in her spare time was completed in time for the child’s birthday.

A doll slightly larger than Ilarid’s palm. Perhaps it would have been just the right size for the child. When she applied a little pressure, the soft doll immediately caved in.

She wasn’t particularly good at sewing. At first, she thought about selecting those among the maids who were said to be good with their hands and having them make it separately. But if she made it herself, perhaps the child might appear in her dreams, even just once.

It weighed on her that she hadn’t been able to properly give warm words even after the child was born. If it had been a normal situation, would she have held the child in her arms and wished for happiness?

Ilarid squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears that suddenly welled up. She had deliberately left out the afternoon schedule. If she moved now, she could reach the cemetery.

“Lynette. You don’t need to come with me. I can move alone just fine.”

Lynette, who had handed over the basket containing the toy, nodded silently.

Although she had tried to dissuade her, saying it didn’t look good for the Empress to move alone, Ilarid wanted to go alone at least when visiting the child’s grave.

Even though it was light outdoor clothing, it was black, and black. People who encountered the Empress felt stifled even as they paid their respects. Mourning attire with buttons fastened up to the neck. Those who knew what day it was didn’t dare to complain even in their hearts.

The tomb where the royal family was laid to rest was located in the north of the imperial palace. As mostly young royals were buried here, the graves and tombstones were relatively small.

Ilarid’s child was there too. As it was nominally the royal family’s burial ground, it was being managed neatly. But there was no helping the weeds that grew incessantly and the clinging dirt.

“It’s been a while, baby.”

She couldn’t even give a name. The name of a royal descendant should rightfully be discussed and decided by the Emperor and Empress together. But the child left before a proper name could be given.

She wondered if they could have spent time discussing names if Cledius hadn’t gone to war, but it was unimaginable. After Melpiram was shattered like that, even skin contact made her shudder and recoil.

There were faint sand marks on top of the tombstone. Ilarid reached out towards the tombstone and brushed off the dirt clinging to its surface.

On the small altar, the doll Ilarid had made herself was gently placed.

“I’m sorry my skills are clumsy. I wonder if you’re still too young to play with it.”

There was nothing harder than trying to smile in front of a grave. Especially if the owner of that grave was one’s child.

Could it be that the tears that didn’t come even at the moment of burial were now divided into pieces? The tears that didn’t come then were now flowing out little by little.

With the same hand that had wiped the tombstone, Ilarid wiped away the tears falling below her cheeks. And then she whispered quietly but firmly.

“Wait just a little longer, baby.”

Behind Ilarid, who was sitting endlessly, there was a presence. The presence that was hidden and suddenly revealed could only be one person.

When she turned around, someone’s shadow was visible near a tree.

In the broken shadow stood Rail.

Worried that tear stains might be visible, Ilarid quickly wiped around her eyes with her hand.

“Did you follow me?”

“I was worried as you were going alone towards the forest…”

“I know the geography of this place better than you do.”

Rail, whether he had noticed that Ilarid had been crying or was pretending not to know, remained silent. He just fixed his gaze on the doll behind Ilarid. His face, which had been examining Ilarid’s expression, gradually hardened.

“Is it… a child?”

Ilarid turned her back on Rail. And she quietly looked down at the small grave. Soon, a low and calm voice was heard.

“Yes, it’s my child.”