I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 21

Cledius looked at Selina, who had an aggrieved expression, with indifferent eyes.

“I know.”

A plain answer flowed out without a hint of falsehood. At the concise affirmation, Selina stumbled, unable to find words.

“You clearly said you would make it so that the Empress’s faction couldn’t touch me. But why……”

“Empress Consort. In the past, the Empress recommended the head maid, but now she is no one’s person.”

Strictly speaking, the person who raised her to the position of head maid was Cledius, so she was closer to being the Emperor’s person.

Cledius put down the documents and looked at Selina. At the unprecedented resolute gaze, Selina had to look at the pattern of the carpet on the floor, feeling intimidated.

“Though from a fallen noble family, she was brought in because of her outstanding personal abilities. She has long experience in palace life, so the Empress Consort will have much to see and learn from her. Observe and learn well.”

Was it all a lie when he whispered sweet words that I was on his side? Though she had ascended to the position of Empress Consort, there was nothing actually for Selina.

Cledius burst out laughing after confirming Selina’s hardened expression. Unable to grasp the Emperor’s intentions, Selina could only cautiously watch, not daring to approach first.

“Your Majesty?”

“But now that head maid belongs to the Empress Consort’s Palace. That means……”

Cledius wiggled his finger towards Selina. It was quite a rude gesture, but Selina approached the Emperor as if entranced.

“It means the Empress Consort can do as she pleases.”

Selina’s small hand was caught in Cledius’s hand at once. A small power personally placed in her hand by the Emperor.

Though it contained the words that he would watch how she handled it, Selina failed to notice. The little tyrant inside her drew out its sword with shining eyes.

“I understand, Your Majesty.”

**

Ilarid had a habit that emerged whenever she was anxious. Picking at the hangnails on the opposite hand. It often resulted in bleeding and leaving wounds on her hands, so Lynette and the other maids would be horrified and try to stop this habit.

But today, even Lynette couldn’t stop her.

Every time the doctor’s bag opened and closed, her under-eyes trembled. All the muscles in her body entered a stiff state of tension.

It was worrying if her physical condition was bad, but it was also a problem if it was good. The thing Ilarid most terribly hated and wanted to avoid in the palace was waiting. The doctor approaching for the examination felt like the grim reaper.

When the Empress’s examination results reached Cledius’s hands, the head maid of the Emperor’s Palace would soon visit.

As if by predetermined order, bringing the date of consummation.

“Your Majesty’s body has improved since last time. The problem is… your body is still cold for conceiving an imperial heir.”

It was rather fortunate. Ilarid let out a faint sigh as she heard the doctor’s examination results.

For the past few years, the Empress had not been able to conceive a child. In the Empress’s faction and opposing noble factions, there was blatant talk that she must have frigidity or some problem with her body.

The nobles who sided with the Emperor repeatedly expressed opinions to depose the Empress on the pretext of not being able to have an heir, but Cledius repeatedly dismissed them.

‘The blood of heinous traitors flows in her. Your Majesty must depose the Empress and punish her along with them!’

‘Continuing the imperial lineage is one of the basic virtues of an Empress. If there is something wrong with Her Majesty’s body, it is right to bring in an Empress Consort to succeed her.’

But Cledius ignored all those opinions and kept only Ilarid by his side.

Until Selina appeared.

All the pro-Emperor nobles, including Viscount Diobe, were just waiting for news of Selina’s pregnancy. With such favor and keeping her close, wouldn’t news of conceiving an imperial heir come soon?

Someone commented on their behavior. Do they think having a child is so easy?

And that passing remark was right. Strangely, there was no news from Selina. There were no abnormalities or reactions in Selina’s body, and Cledius didn’t seem to be paying much attention.

Ilarid rather hoped Selina would get pregnant first. If attention naturally dispersed from the Empress, it would be much easier to move secretly.

The doctor, noticing the faint relief reflected in the Empress’s complexion, silently waited for her opinion. Ilarid, who lightly moistened her lips dried from tension, slowly opened her mouth.

“This time too… I don’t want to push myself.”

“But Your Majesty, I heard you missed the consummation last time as well.”

“Last month, I kept bleeding……”

“It’s due to accumulated fatigue. You must rest properly at least when you’re resting.”

Worry dripped from the tone of Leticia, the Empress’s Palace’s doctor. Just considering age, the Empress would be about her eldest niece. She was much younger compared to Leticia, who had just reached middle age.

When she closed her mouth after losing all her family in just a few days, Leticia, who entered the palace on Cledius’s orders, was shocked to see the Empress.

A gaunt body from refusing food for a while, and the cloudy light in empty pupils. She was in such a crumbled state that no signs of life could be found.

When her family suffered a tragedy, wasn’t it a miracle to endure with a sound mind? Leticia dared to click her tongue once towards the Emperor’s Palace.

Such a thing should never have been done in the first place. Especially if he loved the Empress.

Compared to when she first met the Empress for counseling, it was miraculous now. The Empress’s eyes had regained vitality, and there were no major problems in daily life.

However, the radiance in that vitality was not that of a person running towards life.

All three women listening to the examination results were stiff with their own tensions. Ilarid about the consummation issue, Lynette about the Empress’s health and future problems. And Leticia about delivering the results to the Emperor.

What could be more terrible than a forced marital relationship? Leticia also understood the Empress’s feelings. But no one knew what would happen if she kept lying to the Emperor.

He was a man who cruelly killed the people of the Empress’s family. Could he not do worse?

Leticia, who made a decision, approached Ilarid. Then, kneeling on one knee, she whispered in a seemingly affectionate voice.

“Since Your Majesty’s body is not well, we will observe for one more month. I will convey this to His Majesty as well.”

“Thank you……”

“Is that what the Empress said?”

“No, Your Majesty. This is my opinion as the attending physician. You must wait until Her Majesty’s body is more stable.”

Waiting did not suit Cledius. He openly showed his displeasure upon hearing Leticia’s words.

“The Empress’s symptoms?”

“Her body is still cold, and her weight has decreased since last time. And… the mental and physical weakness due to psychological shock cannot be ignored. She seems to be taking painkillers frequently due to neurogenic headaches.”

“Sleeping pills?”

“I prescribed them, but she refuses to take them. She is very anxious about falling asleep.”

Cledius tapped his fingers on the desk.

The long period without an heir had become a good weakness for the nobles. There were more than a few nobles who saw Ilarid as a thorn in their side. Though he was barely blocking their desperate efforts, it couldn’t be postponed forever.

To keep Ilarid by his side, a child born by the Empress was absolutely necessary. A legitimate heir would establish the Empress more firmly in that position.

And it was the only way Cledius could take Ilarid in a broken relationship.

Leticia, who spoke the diagnosis results, did not forget to make a final request.

“Please prioritize Her Majesty’s body over an imperial heir.”

As she said, there would be no problem even if an imperial heir was born to the Empress Consort or a concubine. But there was only one Ilarid in the world. It was unknown if Cledius would understand even if told like this.

As soon as the attending physician withdrew, Cledius called the head maid outside.

“Go to the Empress’s Palace and tell her. Choose a date for consummation and bring it to the Emperor’s Palace.”

It was no different from an order. And at the Emperor’s additional words, the head maid’s whole body broke out in goosebumps.

“Add these words as well. If she disobeys, remind her that she has only one life left.”

That life did not only refer to Ilarid. There was still the head maid, Lynette, by her side.

Ilarid did not fear death. She would face it with eyes wide open, even before Cledius, perhaps even before the grim reaper.

But she reacted sensitively to the deaths of others. She had constantly thought that the Melpiram family was annihilated because she became the Crown Princess. Blaming herself with the thought that it was all because of her, she withered day by day.

The one who changed that thought was Cledius.

Everything was all because of Cledius. It was Cledius who annihilated the Melpiram family.

He wasn’t by her side when the child was born, and when he learned of the child’s death, he stabbed her with harsh words instead of warm ones. He openly brought in a concubine and insulted Ilarid.

It wasn’t vitality but killing intent that flowed from the eyes of a person living on hatred, but that didn’t matter. He hoped that she would live with that strength, that Ilarid would charge at him with all her might.

‘Even so… there’s nothing a wing-clipped Empress can do.’

Even if she charged with all her might, Cledius would not be wounded at all. It was clear that the Empress would be the one to fall exhausted.

And it would be Cledius who embraces the fallen Ilarid.

In the quiet office where everyone had left, a dripping sound echoed. He had a habit of cracking his finger joints whenever something bothered him.

The consummation would probably take place after the expedition, after returning from war. A reason to definitely return victorious was created. A sinister desire began to spread on Cledius’s lips.

**

Selina enjoyed the languid mood while savoring afternoon tea time. The small rest area arranged in the Empress Consort’s Palace was filled with fresh flowers.

The name of the flower with layered pink petals was, coincidentally, ‘Selina’. A secretive flower said to grow only in the imperial secret greenhouse.

‘It’s a flower that resembles you, Selina. Perhaps it’s a flower similar to our relationship.’

Cledius’s voice whispering that day still lingered in Selina’s ears. A beauty holding secrecy like the relationship between the Emperor and his ‘shadow’. Selina was very fond of this pink flower.

From the time spent as a ‘shadow’ until entering the Empress Consort’s Palace now, flowers named ‘Selina’ were always by Selina’s side when she opened her eyes.

The flowers that came in from dawn maintained their bright appearance until the afternoon when the sun was high, pleasing the Empress Consort.

Fragrant tea was poured again into the empty teacup. A sweet scent wafted from the reddish-colored tea. It matched quite well with the Selina flowers surrounding the area.

This tea was very special. It was none other than black tea personally bestowed by Cledius.

‘Tea just for me… He said not to give it to anyone else.’

There was no sweeter language than the words ‘for one person only’.

A pleasant warmth emanated from the teacup. Selina took a sip of tea, feeling the warm energy. A satisfied curve drew on Selina’s lips as she held the fragrant liquid in her mouth.

“I wonder if the Empress is enjoying such luxury.”

At first, it was a light murmur. The maids lowered their heads, pretending not to hear, and stared at the teacups poured in front of them. Though she mentioned the Empress without even using honorifics, they thought she surely wouldn’t cross the line.

But more than that spilled from Selina’s mouth after emptying the rest of the teacup.

“An Empress with the blood of traitors, why would His Majesty give this precious thing? A pitiful person who barely survived… yet she walks around with her head held high before His Majesty.”