I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 140

A strange rumor began to circulate in the imperial palace.

A ghost has appeared.

It was quite a provocative and intriguing rumor. Those who considered themselves brave formed groups to investigate the truth of the incident, but they were often caught and scolded by the guards.

The head maid and head servants personally stepped in to silence the talk. But mouths tended to open, and the rumor quickly found cracks to burrow into people’s minds.

Vivid eyewitness accounts of actually seeing the ghost gradually increased. It didn’t take long for the rumor to grow and swell as more and more details were added.

“A ghost, you say?”

It was just as preparations for the charity event were reaching their final stages. Hearing this interesting story in a moment of boredom, Ilarid lifted her head and looked ahead. The maid who had relayed the story bowed her head deeply, not knowing where to put herself.

“At first, I too thought the children must have seen things due to fatigue. But last night, even the guards claimed to have witnessed the ghost.”

Lynette replied with half-belief. She had already been nagging the maids more frequently lately.

‘Words spread in all directions without feet in the imperial palace. To speak of baseless rumors like ghosts.’

‘But Head Maid, I saw it with my own eyes…’

Judging by how she continued speaking while on the verge of tears, it seemed to be true. Was it because the weather was getting hotter? Who would have thought an untimely ghost commotion would reach even the Empress’s Palace.

Alice’s eyes lit up when she heard the maid mention a ghost.

“Head Maid, do you believe in ghosts?”

“I don’t believe in them since I’ve never seen one. What about you, Miss Alice?”

“I believe. I’ve seen one myself.”

At Alice’s cheerful reply, even Ilarid put down her pen and began to focus. Incidents that seemed unlikely to actually occur tended to pique people’s interest. Alice cleared her throat and continued speaking as everyone’s gaze fell on her.

“Just once. I saw what I presumed to be my grandmother’s ghost in the mansion where I lived as a child.”

It wasn’t a terrifying form, nor did it cause any harm. It simply flickered near the window, looking at Alice.

Was there anything else to say? But how could a human standing on the ground understand the language of a ghost not touching the ground? Alice regretted that moment again and again.

“That’s all.”

The story that came out was trivial compared to the immense expectation. Alice blushed, averting her gaze in embarrassment.

Ilarid recalled one by one those who had left her side.

It was a great tragedy of life that the number of dead people outnumbered the living ones she had met throughout her life. No one appeared in Ilarid’s dreams or reality. This too was a sad thing.

“Perhaps ghosts… are illusions born from the desire to see someone,” Cecilia, who had been quietly observing them, added.

“Even living people are missed when they become distant. How much more so for those who have passed away…”

“To miss someone means you’ve built up many memories together.”

Ilarid watched the roots of ink spreading beneath the paper. But why don’t those with whom she shared countless memories appear in her dreams or reality? A faint ache settled in her chest from the regret.

The maid seemed to have more to say, fidgeting and wringing her hands. Ilarid nodded, indicating she could continue speaking.

“Do you have something else to add?”

“Well, that is… since only a few people have seen it, it might really just be a baseless rumor. So please don’t worry too much about it.”

“Then all the more reason to know. What rumor?”

“The ghost… is said to resemble Limless Rowen Melpiram.”

Of all the many people, why did it have to resemble her brother?

Ilarid spent the whole day unable to concentrate, chewing on her lips. She seriously considered whether she should start over the useless transcription she had been doing.

Though she had thought ghosts didn’t exist, the maids’ testimony of witnessing Limless’s form drove a wedge into her doubt.

‘It had long silver hair tied loosely in one, resembling Your Majesty the Empress.’

And Limless had always been at the center of events, hadn’t he? A notorious righteous rogue in the capital, a person of interest who appeared in newspaper articles several times a week, big or small.

Even the maids clearly remembered Limless Rowen Melpiram’s living form.

Now she felt she needed to witness the ghost’s true form with her own eyes to be satisfied. If it really was Limless, she wanted to run and grab him to ask.

Why he appeared in the imperial palace of all places. And why only now.

Lebel, lying in bed with her, quickly noticed Ilarid’s agitation. Anxiety and anticipation spread profusely between the wrinkles on the blanket. She hadn’t been anxious lately, so was it expectation then?

He didn’t ask anything. He just gently brushed aside the silver hair scattered across her face.

A bright strand of light caught on the tip of his finger in the darkness. As he pressed down slightly, a dry rustling sound was heard in the silence. Ilarid didn’t reproach Lebel’s action and left it be.

“…You’re holding back.”

“Yes.”

The meaning held in the question and answer diverged. One person’s unasked question, the other’s answer about desire. No matter how perceptive the two were, they couldn’t notice this fact.

“Lebel, do you believe in ghosts?”

“I do.”

Ilarid’s eyes widened at the unexpected answer. He didn’t seem like someone who would believe in such strange phenomena at all.

“They say a ghost has appeared in the palace. One that resembles my brother.”

Ghosts couldn’t shake him, but Limless was different. The fingers gently combing through Ilarid’s hair stopped in midair.

A ghost resembling the young master at this point. Lebel’s eyes slowly sank.

“Isn’t it strange? Of all places, the imperial palace. I could understand if it was near the Melpiram mansion…”

“Souls originally appear in places with many grudges, so it’s not strange.”

It was the first time she had heard this. Ghosts appearing in places with grudges, not where they died or near people who miss them.

“Where did you hear that?”

“Working as a mercenary, I met various people. An old woman I met near the northern border said so. Souls that perished resenting someone just before death remain in the present, neither in hell nor heaven.”

And they forever hover around those who killed them, she said. Goosebumps rose on Ilarid’s arms at the words that sounded like a curse.

Lebel smiled faintly and pulled Ilarid close. Was it oil today? The warm, heated scent sweetly stimulated her nose.

“They say wandering souls exist in the northern wilderness. And they beckon from beyond the horizon, asking you to come with them. The moment you’re entranced by them, you’re as good as dead.”

Ilarid swallowed the silence that lingered at the corners of her mouth. Did her brother really come to the imperial palace where Cledius, who killed him, stays?

Her body, which had suddenly grown cold, instinctively burrowed in search of warmth. Soon Lebel could fully embrace Ilarid, who fit perfectly into his arms.

“…It’s scary.”

“Is it?”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“I think souls will always wander around me.”

There was a hint of playfulness in his tone, but he was sincere.

Where is there a death without resentment? In the moment just before dying, one would want to blame someone.

Moreover, there were countless enemies he had cut down with his own sword. They must be clinging to him since the moment he stood atop the grave of corpses, cramming curses into Lebel’s ears.

“Would you like to go check?”

“In the middle of the night?”

“Ghosts usually come out at night.”

Ah, that’s right. Ilarid couldn’t hold back her laughter and giggled. There had been too many heavy and troublesome things lately, so an outing like this should be fine as a break. Of course, it’s not really an outing within the imperial palace.

Ilarid made her decision and got up. The light summer blanket covering her waist fell gently.

“Let’s go.”

“I’ll help you prepare.”

There wasn’t much to prepare. Ilarid got out of bed and picked up the thin outer robe draped over the sofa.

Just as she was about to slip her arm into the sleeve, someone’s urgent footsteps were heard. Lebel took a defensive posture and hid in the shadows.

“Your Majesty the Empress, His Majesty the Emperor is at the Empress’s Palace…”

Beyond the door, Lynette’s voice trembled like never before. The Emperor barging into the Empress’s Palace in the middle of the night. It was an unusual entrance.

Strictly speaking, there is no place in the world where the Emperor’s entry can be blocked. Moreover, as the Empress’s quarters, he could freely come and go under the pretext of affection. The only nights Cledius visited were for consummation.

Lebel approached the door. He was prepared to grab Ilarid’s hand and jump off the balcony if necessary.

“Lebel, go back for now.”

“But Your Majesty.”

“It’s alright. Nothing will happen.”

Ilarid forced a smile to reassure him. Lebel hesitated for a moment, then lightly kissed her cheek before running towards the balcony.

Unwavering footsteps continued through the maids’ confusion. And soon, he arrived in front of the bedroom.

Ilarid quickly glanced towards the balcony. Before she could check on Lebel, Cledius’s voice rang out coldly.

“Everyone withdraw outside the Empress’s Palace. I will speak with the Empress alone.”

The Emperor’s orders supersede the Empress. That much was clear, even for members of the Empress’s Palace. In the end, Ilarid opened the door first to greet Cledius.

“…I understand it’s quite late.”

Ilarid nodded to the maids visible beyond Cledius, signaling that everything was fine.

Lynette and Alice couldn’t hide their unease and just bit their lips.

They were well aware of Cledius’s temperament, but today he seemed even more precarious. It was frustrating that they couldn’t bring Cecilia inside for the Empress’s protection or call the ‘shadow’.

Cledius entered the bedroom and locked the door. Ilarid’s eyes narrowed as she watched.

“What are you…”

Her words were cut short.

Ilarid’s breath caught at Cledius’s next action. The traces of strong alcohol felt on her lips were just nauseating. She tried to reach out and push him away, but it was futile.

Soon, when a low moan escaped his mouth, Ilarid was finally able to break free from Cledius. In her wavering vision, she saw Cledius’s mouth. Drops of blood pooled on his lips, creating a red stain.

It was a wound created by none other than Ilarid. With those sharp teeth inside that small mouth. Something that only I knew about, something that was only mine. Cledius urgently asked without even wiping away the blood.

“How far… have you gone with that bastard?”

Ilarid stepped back a few steps and barely managed to catch her breath that she had been holding. She wiped her lips with her outer robe sleeve, showing her displeasure.

“…You’re very drunk.”

“Ah, since you say you’ve spent passionate nights together, you must have done more than this.”

There’s a limit even to insults. However, responding to each one would get her caught up in Cledius’s flow. It seemed he had instinctively come to the Empress’s Palace in his drunken state.

As such, she needed to deal with him rationally. Ilarid calmly approached the door and said,

“I will call the Imperial Guard. It’s very late, so please return to the Emperor’s Palace…”

Her wrist was grabbed again, and again she was placed in front of Cledius. Ilarid found it difficult to meet his gleaming eyes. The desperate desire to confirm his possession was weighing down on Cledius.

Cledius muttered while grasping both her wrists.

“Do I need permission even to embrace my wife?”