I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 138

Kailem began to open the lock outside the greenhouse. As the door opened, a humid air rushed in. The inside of the greenhouse was dark and empty, and the shapes of drooping branches looked quite eerie.

“We can’t turn on the lights.”

“There’s a lamp over here.”

While he was preparing to light the lamp, Ilarid reached out toward the faintly visible shapes of plants. The surface of the leaves that briefly touched her fingertips felt fresh.

Soon Kailem lit the lamp and held it up. Only then did their view expand widely.

“This is…”

It was truly a magnificent sight. There were countless unfamiliar trees, grasses, and flowers that couldn’t even be found in plant encyclopedias. Although called a greenhouse, it was essentially a garden.

Among them, one flower immediately caught the eye. The vivid pink flower was in full bloom, exuding a lively fragrance.

“I’ve seen this flower before in the Empress’s Palace.”

It was everywhere in the Empress’s Palace – the corridors, bedrooms, and even the guest reception rooms. Who would have thought the source of those flowers was this greenhouse.

A bitter suspicion arose at the same time. What could be the purpose of this flower that it needed to be grown so secretly?

Cledius had a history of even putting medicine in Selina’s tea for contraception. It was questionable whether he was plotting something else using these nameless flowers.

“Do you know what this flower is used for?”

“I only know it’s for ornamental purposes.”

“But there’s no way they would cultivate flowers like this just to look at…”

Suddenly, goosebumps rose and her body involuntarily shrank. Ilarid felt like she was about to suffocate from the Selina flowers filling the surroundings.

While Kailem briefly turned his gaze elsewhere, Ilarid quickly plucked a leaf and hid it in her hand. Taking a flower might be too much, but a leaf should be enough to identify what kind of plant it was.

It was then. The greenhouse door opened somewhat hurriedly, and someone’s presence was felt.

There was woefully insufficient space to hide. With flowers and trees all around, even if they crouched down, there was no space that could adequately conceal two adults.

Could it be Cledius? But the footsteps were too small and light for a man. Ilarid approached Kailem’s side, wary of the door.

The footsteps entering the greenhouse stopped in front of the two.

“No one is allowed to enter here.”

A low, powerful voice. Ilarid immediately recognized the owner of the voice.

“It’s been a while. Has the wound on your hand healed much?”

The head maid whom Selina had chased away from the Empress’s Palace before, Sophia le Derent, revealed herself.

“…I greet Your Majesty the Empress. Have you been well?”

The tone wasn’t very welcoming for asking about her well-being. But then again, it wasn’t a situation to be welcomed. Ilarid clenched the leaf hidden in her hand. She had to protect it properly as much as she wanted to find out about it.

Sophia le Derent. She was a perfect lady with proper demeanor and a loyal mindset toward the imperial family.

She was also a person Ilarid had personally recommended, highly valuing her answer that she would not marry and would only think of the safety of the imperial family.

“Miss Sophia.”

“It is an infinite honor that Your Majesty the Empress remembers my name.”

Even at this moment, she did not forget her duty and bowed again. Perhaps the conversation might go a little better. As Ilarid was filled with a bit of hope…

“However, Your Majesty the Empress, entry to the greenhouse is prohibited for those who have not received permission from His Majesty the Emperor. You must leave here immediately.”

Straight to the point after the thank you. At her stern warning, Ilarid tried to argue, but unexpectedly, Kailem stepped in front of her.

“There is no law saying Her Majesty the Empress cannot enter and leave this place.”

“It is His Majesty the Emperor’s order. I am currently the caretaker of the greenhouse, and entry is prohibited for anyone other than His Majesty and certain personnel.”

“…So.”

Kailem watched the Empress step forward, maintaining tension in his body. She left a short sneer and snapped at the past acquaintance in front of her.

“Do you intend to report to His Majesty the Emperor who extended your lifeline? That the Empress and the Captain of the Imperial Guard entered the greenhouse?”

It was an unempresslike threatening tone. But surprisingly, it didn’t feel awkward. If a stranger had seen it, they might have asked if she had practiced somewhere.

Sophia did not back down even under the Empress’s pressure. She simply bowed, showing as much respect as possible.

“I apologize, Your Majesty the Empress.”

“Think back again. Who was your beginning from?”

It was a biting remark. Sophia closed her eyes tightly and chose an answer to the Empress’s weighty question.

Behind the young lady of the Derent Count family being able to live her life in the palace was Ilarid.

Although they were nobles on the verge of collapse, she was able to stay closest to the imperial family, evaluated solely on her individual abilities. If it hadn’t been for Ilarid, she would probably have had to sell her title and continue a difficult life by now.

“…The grace Your Majesty the Empress bestowed upon me is engraved in my bones. But now I am the greenhouse caretaker carrying out His Majesty the Emperor’s orders.”

“I can leave the greenhouse on my own legs. But I intend to use that one grace you say is engraved in your bones.”

The inside of the greenhouse was warm to the point of being humid, but Ilarid’s single sentence was only chilling. She pointed with a nod to the fully bloomed pink flowers.

“What is the purpose of those flowers? And what is happening in this greenhouse?”

“I do not know how the flowers are used either. I merely obey the order to replace the flowers sent to the Empress’s Palace before they wither.”

So now you’re a caretaker, not a head maid. Sophia recited the set answer with her eyes fixed on the ground. There was even a sense that she would face death in silence even if a gun was pressed to her temple right here.

“And in the greenhouse… plants native to the Eastern Continent are cultivated.”

Plants native to the Eastern Continent. So this was why the pink flower wasn’t in the Western Continent’s plant encyclopedia.

“What is the name of this flower?”

“His Majesty the Emperor did not tell me separately. I only knew it as a nameless flower, but one day His Majesty said this.”

Selina, he said.

Ilarid doubted her ears for a moment. A flower with the same name as the Empress. A terrible coincidence or Cledius’s intention? There was no way for wind to blow inside the greenhouse, but a chill crept up her legs.

Selina’s voice seemed to be heard from somewhere. Your Majesty the Empress. Was it an auditory hallucination? Ilarid examined the flower blooming next to her.

The flower petals spread in the darkness opened their lips and giggled. You must not know anything. She had to barely hold back the urge to retch.

Something seemed strange about cultivating so many flowers simply to gain the favor of the ‘Shadow’. Was the bloated feeling coming over her an instinct to reject this flower? Sophia quickly spoke, noticing the Empress’s abnormality.

“The air inside the greenhouse seems stuffy. Would you please leave now?”

As soon as she came out, she had to run to a tree trunk. Who knew the outside air could be so refreshing? The fragrant and humid air inside was making it harder and harder to breathe.

Ilarid had to grab onto a tree trunk to soothe her uncomfortable stomach. She thought about forcibly putting her fingers in to induce vomiting to feel better, but she couldn’t with Kailem watching nearby.

“In the end, there wasn’t much achievement.”

“No, there was.”

In her hand was a leaf from the flower called ‘Selina’. The green leaf drooped lifelessly due to the heat rising from her palm.

“If it’s native to the Eastern Continent, the Pegeian envoys currently in the Imperial Palace would know the name of the flower.”

To find out the name of a plant, you should focus on the leaves rather than the flowers. Flowers wither and die in a season, but leaves maintain their form for longer. Not to mention the roots, which are the source.

“It’s late tonight, so I’ll escort you to the Empress’s Palace.”

It seemed less suspicious to go with the Captain of the Imperial Guard than to return alone. The churning in her stomach began to subside little by little.

There wasn’t much to talk about with Kailem Western. He tended not to speak more than necessary, and so did Ilarid.

But one question remained troubling her mind.

“Kailem Western. May I ask my last question for today?”

“Please ask.”

“Are you… perhaps, His Majesty the Emperor’s…”

Ilarid couldn’t bring herself to utter the rest of the words. Kailem noticed the question hidden in Ilarid’s ellipsis. However, he opened his mouth calmly without much surprise.

“I don’t know.”

It was true.

Was it a few days before the Empress Dowager passed away? When she barely opened her eyes after losing consciousness, Kailem Western appeared before her.

In the bedroom where they were left alone, where all the words of love had poured out. Kailem grasped the Empress Dowager’s hand. It was a hand with all the traces of time engraved on it. Yet it was small enough to fit in one hand, just like when she was Empress.

‘Kailem.’

‘Yes, Your Majesty.’

‘Cledius… please. Please protect that child.’

It was her last request. The Empress Dowager’s consciousness was fading away. Kailem hurriedly drew closer to her side. And he brought out the question he had long held back, that he hadn’t dared to ask.

‘Is he my son?’

The Empress Dowager only smiled faintly for the last time.

The only person who knew the answer had already returned to the earth. What were the words she wanted to say with those lips? Was there even a set answer to begin with? It probably meant there was no need to know.

“His Majesty the Emperor…”

“Probably doesn’t know.”

It had to be that way. One wrong move and the nobles might doubt Cledius’s legitimacy and immediately pull him down from the emperor’s seat.

Kailem quietly stopped walking. And he knelt before Ilarid. Ilarid hurriedly tried to stop him, but it was useless.

“I earnestly implore Your Majesty the Empress. Please, keep this fact confidential.”

It was like a desperate plea from a man who was neither the Captain of the Imperial Guard nor the Empress Dowager’s ‘Shadow’.

A human who threw his whole body for Cledius, who might or might not be his own child. A pitiful fellow who might have been deceived and used by the Empress Dowager. Should this be called devotion? Ilarid couldn’t say anything.

**

Since she had given word to Lynette, Lebel probably wouldn’t come to the Empress’s Palace today.

Perhaps because she was so tense, her whole body ached. Would she be able to fall asleep easily? Ilarid leaned against the closed bedroom door and slowly sat down.

It was a truth too burdensome to bear alone. It was also a headache because from the moment she started consulting with someone, it would be considered disclosing the secret.

‘Those who checked the pendant then might have guessed.’

Lynette, Luth, and Lebel. Ilarid acknowledged that Lynette was tight-lipped. Luth also wouldn’t easily gossip as he was trusted by Lebel to handle requests.

The person she could most easily confide in was none other than the ‘Shadow’. Was this how the Empress Dowager felt? She was a strict and authoritative mother-in-law. While constantly conflicting with Keira, she also showed signs of subtly acknowledging her.

And it was too risky to recklessly shout that Cledius was not the late emperor’s child.

Should it be called unfortunate timing? Cledius resembled the Empress Dowager. From his ominously shining red eyes to his beautifully fluttering golden hair, everything.

If there was even a slight resemblance to Kailem, there might have been room for doubt, but there wasn’t even that.

Cledius was so perfectly her son that one might suspect the Empress Dowager had given birth to him alone.

Although she had caught his weakness, she didn’t feel elated at all. Rather, she trembled. Maybe it was excitement? The perfect opportunity to bring him down had fallen into her hands. Ilarid buried her head in her knees.

She gripped her arms with all her might, but it was hard to suppress the chills. An unbearable drowsiness came over her aching body.

How much time had passed? Her body slowly tilted and then collapsed to the side.

“Your Majesty the Empress!”

Just as her eyelids were about to close drowsily, the balcony came into Ilarid’s narrow field of vision. It was the moment Lebel had just landed, with white curtains fluttering.