I Will Live for Your Death - Chapter 114

Lebel noticed something new while caressing Ilarid’s left hand.

Usually, isn’t a wedding ring worn here? But Ilarid’s ring finger was empty. Did the lady often use her left hand originally?

Ilarid noticed the silent question and answered.

“The ring? I sold it.”

It was a voice that sounded cheerful. Lebel’s disbelieving gaze turned toward Ilarid.

“It’s true.”

When was it? Probably after losing the child, when Cledius was obsessed with conquest wars.

Ilarid held a charity event to help wounded soldiers, and offered up the wedding ring that remained on her left ring finger. There was also a fairly good excuse that it was for the Emperor and soldiers suffering on the front lines.

The ring that had been constricting her finger came off more easily than expected. Instead, only a fairly clear straight mark remained, hinting at the length of the marriage period.

The mark where the ring had been worn lasted longer than expected. But now even the traces had faded, allowing one to casually pass over it, wondering if anything had been there.

Afterwards, the whereabouts of the wedding ring were unknown. Even Cledius, who returned from the battlefield, didn’t bother to ask about Ilarid’s empty left ring finger. He probably just passed over it, not caring.

Now Lebel’s finger rested on the empty left ring finger. He pondered what kind of ring would suit this hand.

Silver rather than gold, colored gems rather than colorless ones. Perhaps green, like the color of the necklace being sought.

‘Will I ever be able to completely fill this now empty space?’

Lebel pressed his lips to the finger he had been caressing for a long time. The unspoken wish would remain only in his heart. So that you wouldn’t notice.

So that this unworthy body could wholly become yours.

Just then, there was a knock at the bedroom door. The two people staying near the bed simultaneously looked towards the door.

Judging it wasn’t good to reveal himself to the visitor, Lebel quietly got up and hid himself deeper in the darkness.

“…Come in.”

Those who entered after opening the door were the maids who had been summoned to the Empress’s Palace. In their hands were quite heavy-looking parcels.

“How did it go?”

“It was as the Empress said.”

Ilarid let out a bitter sigh. Though things had gone as expected, she wasn’t exactly pleased.

It was the day Cledius returned the right of final decision to Ilarid. It was also the day the Empress witnessed the two of them together.

After finishing breakfast, the Empress called the head maid and the maids.

‘The Empress may call for you. Especially the young maids who haven’t worked here long.’

The younger and less experienced, the harder it is to refuse orders from above. Selina would know this fact and actively utilize it. Displeasure seeped into Ilarid’s eyes.

‘She will try to dig out secrets of the Empress’s Palace by offering material things. For example, the ‘shadow’ currently coming and going.’

‘Do not worry, Your Majesty. We will strictly keep our mouths shut and never reveal…’

‘No. Tell them. I hope you accept the compensation the Empress gives.’

To openly tell them to reveal? The head maid and the maids’ eyes grew round. Ilarid noticed their puzzled looks and added:

‘If you are called, leak information about the ‘shadow’. It should be sufficient to say you saw the mercenary captain entering the Empress’s Palace.’

And the summoned maids faithfully played their roles. The Empress seemed satisfied with the answer, as she threw an additional gold bar to each.

Soon, gold bars received from the Empress’s Palace were placed before Ilarid. Three per maid. A total of six gold lumps.

“Why this…”

“It’s gold obtained by revealing secrets of the Empress’s Palace. We absolutely cannot use it.”

“You did well following my instructions. I’d like you to consider this as payment for your errand.”

“Your Majesty.”

One maid spoke in a firm voice. Though her head was bowed, there was an unyielding resolve that couldn’t be bent. What would she say? Lebel leaned against the wall, waiting for the words to flow from the maid’s mouth.

“I dare say this. No matter how low our status, and how little we’ve learned, we are not foolish enough to betray our loyalty and be moved by money.”

Money. Something everyone likes. But few can turn away from its temptation without hesitation. There are even people who choose injustice and grasp money in their hands.

But the maids standing before Ilarid willingly rejected the money and chose their convictions.

“Though it was Your Majesty’s order, we cannot take this without any guilt. So please use it, Your Majesty.”

Faced with the maids’ unexpected answer, Ilarid had to search for words for a long time.

“…I’m glad.”

“Pardon?”

“I’m really glad that I have such good people around me.”

There was a time when I thought no one was left. After my nanny died of old age, I lived each day determined to protect Lynette, the only person and friend left by my side.

But when I looked back, one by one, people were walking with Ilarid.

“Your Majesty personally taught us. That there are sometimes things more important than money in our lives.”

“Thanks to you, I’m feeling it again. This gold… I’d like you to think of it as the price of the answer you just gave. So take it with you.”

A small argument ensued. The maids trying to leave all the gold bars behind and the Empress telling them to take it all – it was an unprecedented event in the history of the empire.

In the end, two gold bars were placed in Ilarid’s hand. It was the result of surrendering to the maids who insisted they would feel at ease only if they left something behind, despite her strong refusal.

As the maids’ footsteps faded beyond the corridor, Lebel revealed his body that had been hidden in the darkness. His face bathed in moonlight was full of smiles, as if something was very amusing.

“…Don’t laugh. I’m embarrassed too.”

An empress receiving gold bars from maids. Should I send thanks to Selina?

The weight of gold was soon the weight of the heart. What to do now. She couldn’t blindly include these gold bars in the Empress Palace’s budget.

In fact, if she closed her eyes, she could use them anywhere. While the process of money coming in is difficult, spending it happens in an instant.

Ilarid, who had been lost in thought for a moment, looked at Lebel.

Lebel immediately realized. His accomplice was now preparing for a gamble. Then he had to bring in the flow of the gambling table and expand the game.

“Lebel. Can you go outside the palace now?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

**

At a time when most guests were asleep, the corridor of Hotel Wenley was quiet.

With the ball just a few weeks away, the hotel would soon be bustling with guests. Marsha personally inspected the hotel while directing the staff.

‘And with the new envoys coming from the Eastern Continent, preparations must be perfect.’

Large and small merchant groups would come together, trying to open trade deals mixed in with the envoy group. It wouldn’t look good if the hotel was too empty either. Marsha started walking down the dim corridor with a bright smile.

“…Oh my.”

Marsha suddenly stopped walking. Feeling uncomfortable, she lifted her shoe to find the lace had come undone and was sprawled unsightly on the floor.

“Why would it come undone here of all places.”

Marsha grumbled softly as she bent down and started retying her shoelace.

And when she stood up again, there was a small gun in her hand. Marsha immediately turned around, her gun barrel pointing into the darkness.

“You there, come out.”

The shadow that one might think was empty writhed and moved.

It was a man all in black, wearing a hood and cloak. The only place that shone was around his eyes. A slow-blinking blue-gray that matched well with the darkness.

Lebel approached in Marsha’s direction, undaunted by the gun. Though he could easily subdue her if he wanted, the woman facing him was surprisingly at ease.

“It’s nice to see a familiar face, but I should warn our hotel security. Letting people in like this.”

“A message from Her Majesty the Empress.”

“Oh my, how lovely.”

As if truly pleased, Marsha didn’t stop smiling. But neither did she lower her gun.

“I won’t put this down. A man following a woman in the middle of the night is quite threatening.”

Hearing Marsha’s words, Lebel stepped back for a moment. Then he spread his hands to show he had no intention of attacking.

“I acknowledge that. I apologize.”

“I like that you understand quickly.”

Other men should learn from this. Pretending not to hear Marsha’s cheerful mutter, Lebel took out a gold bar from his breast.

“You’re making a handshake with gold. How lovely.”

“…Do you like it?”

“Have you ever seen a woman who doesn’t like gold?”

Lebel recalled Ilarid, who had been troubled for a long time holding the gold bars. There is one, actually. A smile seeped out under his lips covered by black cloth.

“Her Majesty the Empress ordered me to recruit a few gossip magazine reporters. The details are enclosed below.”

Under the gold bar Lebel held out was also an envelope. Marsha opened the envelope with an interested look and examined the Empress’s handwriting.

‘…Please arrange for reporters to naturally encounter Count Diobe.’

Ah. Marsha nodded. You’re probably trying to entangle that suspicious foundation.

“We’ll need a bit of a stage. To make it natural for them to exchange business cards and such.”

“Is there anything else I can help with?”

“No.”

It was a sharp refusal. She might have withdrawn it if she knew they were on the same side, but Marsha still held her gun.

“Since it’s Her Majesty’s order, I’ll do this for free. I’ll put this to good use.”

Marsha said, showing the gold bar she had received.

“Could you tell your boss? If it’s okay to sell the name of the ‘Gray Hawk’ this time too.”

“I’ll check and let you know. And… thank you. The place you lent last time was very useful.”

“Good soundproofing, right? Let me know if you need it again. It was good promotion for the hotel too.”

Only then did the gun lower. Marsha, who had turned to walk away, suddenly stopped as if she had something to say.

“Is Her Majesty the Empress well? She said in a previous letter that she couldn’t sleep at all.”

“…She is fine.”

Thanks to that, we were able to cut off the source of nightmares. Marsha noticed Lebel’s hidden words and smiled at her comrade.

**

It was during the time when Ilarid was barely surviving. It was a time when even replying to arriving letters one by one was burdensome.

After barely standing on the podium and speaking about the “Day of May”, the first letter arrived from a person named Marsha Wenley.

‘Dear Empress,’

From the first greeting, Ilarid’s lips curled up slightly at the boldness of suddenly attaching ‘Dear’.

‘It’s a beautiful day in May. The townhouses on the outskirts are busy with those attending hunting parties. But looking at their skills, it seems they might be fooled by the game…’

All the letters Marsha sent were about ordinary daily life and well-wishes. There was no condolence for family members, nor any specific plans to help in the future.

‘There’s a strawberry patch in the yard. When they seem ripe, I just brush off the dirt and sit right there to eat them. Father’s thunderous voice does fall, but they’re sweet and delicious enough to bear the nagging.’

‘Many pansy flowers bloomed on the fence this year. I’ve carefully selected some nicely dried ones and enclosed them. I hope spring from here can reach the palace too.’

‘Finally, my eldest brother is getting married. Grandfather’s will was so strong, you see. No matter how I look at it, the woman he’s marrying is too good for him. What on earth does she like about such a guy to blush?’

Those letters, like a diary, were not just about simple daily life. Nor were they letters expecting a reply.

They were sentences urging the empty Ilarid to live just one more day.

Who knows? The strawberries that ripen next spring might be sweeter than this year’s. The year after that, more flowers might bloom and bear bigger fruit.

That’s how Ilarid was able to pick up her pen again. It was the strength created by a few sentences she thought were really nothing.

Marsha Wenley. Who are you?

And mother, what kind of relationship did you have with her?

There was a mountain of things she wanted to ask, but at the time, Ilarid had to reply first to Marsha’s piled-up letters.

‘Dear Marsha,’

Somehow, it felt like that’s how she should write.