I Will Live for Your Death (20 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 5
Celina lay languidly on her bed, barely managing to rein in the overwhelming emotions welling up inside her.
With every exhale, laughter escaped her lips. The white lace-trimmed blanket trembled with her slightest movement, keeping perfect rhythm.
It was the second most electrifying moment in her life.
The first had been when Claudius accepted her as his “shadow.” The joy and excitement from that day still lingered in a corner of her heart, tickling Celina even now.
‘Our family was on the brink of ruin back then…’
Her father, Viscount Diobe, had originally been a noble from a foreign land, but after the war, he swiftly surrendered his territory to the Empire and thereby survived.
Though only a palm-sized estate remained, Viscount Diobe refused to abandon his ambitions for advancement. He resolved to mold his two daughters into the darlings of high society, determined to force their way into the inner circles of the capital’s nobility.
Even selling off their lands and relocating to the capital had been done “for his daughters’ sake.”
That decision became their downfall. Her mother’s illness worsened by the day, while her father shamelessly claimed he had no idea how to earn money. Celina, meanwhile, grew ever busier, flitting between salons to impress noble matrons.
With no income coming in but expenses piling up, it was only natural their household finances would collapse.
‘After all that effort to preserve our house! After crawling on the ground if necessary just to protect the family name!’
Celina still remembered clearly the sight of Viscount Diobe clutching his head in despair, muttering about selling or trading away his noble title.
And that wasn’t all. She had learned firsthand just how wretched a person could become when money ran out.
The days of nervously scraping together servants’ wages, the anxious dread of being remembered as the most shabby debutante in high society, the constant worry over monthly expenses as they sold off household belongings one by one….
“…Those days are over now.”
Celina quietly murmured, pressing her hand over her mouth. Repeating this assurance like a mantra, she savored her happiness.
The grubby days of the past would never return. Celina glanced around her room.
Unnamed works of art and fine porcelain, all gifts from Claudius. Even the vase, he had said, bore the touch of a master artisan.
The flowers arranged within were special too—cultivated in the imperial palace’s secret greenhouse. Their pervasive pink hue exuded a fresh, vivid presence.
‘Celina, these flowers resemble you.’
In all her life, no one had ever told her she resembled a flower. She felt she might melt away entirely under Claudius’s sweet words, her heart fluttering uncontrollably.
Now she could gaze upon those pink blooms to her heart’s content. The moment even the slightest sign of wilting appeared, palace maids would rush in to replace the vase themselves.
Celina briefly recalled the sight of the Empress’s quarters. A barren space devoid even of sparkling ornaments, let alone flowers. Her study was so plain it belied her status as Empress.
‘The pitiful Empress, unloved by the Emperor.’
Though she had not yet received official news, someday soon she would bear Claudius’s child. She would produce an heir, drive out Ilyd, and claim the Empress’s throne for herself.
Just as her heart began swelling again with joy, someone knocked at the door outside. Celina frowned, quickly straightening her relaxed posture.
“Miss Celina. Viscount Diobe has come to see you.”
It had barely been a few days since she’d sent the letter, yet her father, Viscount Diobe, must have been truly thrilled.
Since this visitor was unwelcome at such a moment, Celina replied in a curt tone.
“Come in.”
Viscount Diobe stood before the door, his face flushed with excitement. Celina did not rush to greet him but remained seated on the bed to receive her father.
“Your Imperial Majesty, Empress Consort.”
The moment he entered, Viscount Diobe bowed deeply before Celina. She gave a stern look to the maid standing behind her.
“Viscount Diobe. I am not yet officially Empress Consort. Please refrain from such address.”
She had no desire to draw criticism before her appointment was even finalized. Viscount Diobe, realizing his blunder, awkwardly hunched his shoulders and offered an apology.
“My deepest apologies. I was simply too overjoyed and spoke without thinking….”
Celina subtly signaled to the maid behind her.
“I have private matters to discuss with the Viscount. Would you please step out for a moment?”
Only after confirming the maid had hurried out of the room did the two finally relax their stiff postures.
“You’re practically already Empress Consort—surely a bit of eager anticipation won’t wear you down?”
“Father.”
“You must understand—the imperial court’s etiquette is unbearably strict. Isn’t it better than before, when you were merely the Emperor’s hidden consort?”
“How dare you say such a thing….”
“Just a joke, just a joke. Merely the ramblings of an old man—please don’t take it seriously.”
Viscount Diobe gazed at his younger daughter, raised like a precious jewel. Sitting primly on the plush bed, she looked every bit an imperial noblewoman.
Ever since her appointment as Empress Consort, even her demeanor had changed. She didn’t even bother to offer her long-unseen father a seat. With a groan, Viscount Diobe sank into a nearby chair.
A flicker of irritation crossed his mind—but then again, what did it matter? He could easily brush it aside.
After all, as the Emperor’s cherished Empress Consort, her future was all but guaranteed. Celina was finally repaying all the efforts he’d made to raise her.
“Considering how astonished I am… this must surely be thanks to your devoted service to His Majesty. I was so moved I couldn’t sleep all night.”
Viscount Diobe’s voice trembled anew as he even wiped away a tear. Celina let out an exasperated chuckle as she watched him.
Just how long had she lived under her father’s watchful eye before becoming his “shadow”?
‘I gave up everything for your future and moved to the capital—and yet you can’t even land a decent man?’
Meeting the broker who scouted candidates for “shadow” consorts had been pure luck. Claudius, upon meeting Celina, accepted her without hesitation.
“…All thanks to your support, Viscount.”
‘My fussy daughter…’
Viscount Diobe looked at his daughter, who blinked her jade-green eyes with feigned indifference. Could she really have forgotten all the kindness he’d shown raising her? She had always been his obedient younger daughter, compliant to his every word.
“How is the mansion these days? And your sister?”
“Ugh, don’t even ask. I have no idea where she wanders off to—lately she’s been sneaking out every night. If I catch her in the act, I swear I’ll break her legs.”
Viscount Diobe huffed angrily. The old saying “no finger hurts more than another when you bite all ten” was a lie—some fingers hurt less. Celina, the less painful one, had succeeded so brilliantly, yet what exactly was wrong with his elder daughter?
Now he truly had only his second daughter to rely on. Viscount Diobe surveyed the room and clicked his tongue appreciatively. Clearly valuable antiques and artworks filled the space. Perhaps Claudius had even gifted her jewels on the side.
Yet Celina showed no sign of offering her father even a single piece of jewelry. He couldn’t hide his disappointed gaze as he turned to leave.
‘No matter. Greater things will surely come soon—such trinkets mean nothing.’
Even now, crowds thronged his mansion, all vying for a chance to meet Viscount Diobe—and none arrived empty-handed. His steps quickened as he left the palace.
**
The festival was approaching.
One of Astrid Empire’s major celebrations, the Founding Day festival, was originally a grand five-day event. This year, however, due to the war, it had been shortened to three days with a reduced scale.
This year’s Founding Day festival was essentially a morale-boosting event for the soldiers soon to depart for the front. Officers in uniform appeared throughout the capital, and a cheerful atmosphere began to ripple through the streets.
Though rumors of war blanketed the Empire, a festival was still a festival—joyful, no matter the circumstances.
Laughter and chatter from the square carried all the way into the palace. Some servants even took their saved-up days off to go out.
Lynette deliberately threw open the windows of her office, hoping to let some of that bright festivity into the room.
“It’s been so long since I last attended a festival….”
Leaning against the windowsill, Lynette watched young servants gathering in cheerful groups outside. Her wistful gaze toward the outdoors seemed oddly melancholic.
“I could enjoy myself well too….”
“Lynette. Did I just hear you muttering to yourself out loud?”
“Ventriloquism. Please pretend you didn’t hear anything.”
“What a remarkable talent! You deserve a reward, then.”
Ilyd finished signing the last document and set her pen down with an audible click. She had already finalized and signed plans regarding the Empress Consort’s formal investiture ceremony and subsequent matters after the festival.
A reward, suddenly? Unlike the suddenly tense Lynette, Ilyd spoke with cheerful lightness.
“Let’s go.”
“Pardon?”
“To the festival.”
Lynette doubted her own ears. Had the workaholic Empress herself just suggested going to the festival?
“Your Imperial Majesty… you must be truly exhausted… I never expected you to suggest it first.”
This was the same woman who considered a brief nap or stroll sufficient rest—what had come over her? Lynette covered her mouth with both hands, swallowing back a surge of emotion.
“I just wanted to try being like we used to. Remember? When we snuck out of the mansion to watch the fireworks.”
“Oh, please don’t even bring that up. Just thinking about it still gives me chills.”
This was from the days before she became Crown Princess, when House Melphiram still stood strong. The two drifted into shared nostalgia, immersed in memories of the past.
“Let’s sneak out and back in again—just like then. Only this time, we’ll return before it gets too late.”
Was it her imagination? Ilyd’s expression even carried a hint of solemn resolve, as if undertaking a mission that absolutely could not fail.
**
The sky above the square overflowed with vibrantly colored banners and paper fireworks. Crowds surged like waves, scattering and regrouping in every direction.
Someone began an impromptu melody, and festival-goers danced and sang along to the rhythm of applause.
As if this joy might never return, everyone reveled together in the festive excitement.
Merchants waved balloons and fireworks to attract passersby. Whistle-straws already dangled from the lips of roaming children.
One child, clutching a freshly received balloon, dashed toward the center of the bustling square, following the direction someone had just shouted—about a mysterious magic trick learned from the Eastern Continent.
Afraid of missing a good spot, the child squeezed desperately through the forest of towering adults.
“Ah!”
Suddenly, the child’s grip loosened. The red balloon slipped away, rising swiftly into the sky before anyone could catch it. Just as the child’s face began crumpling into tears—
A man’s hand reached up and pulled the balloon back down. Though his expression was indifferent, his fingertips were gentle as he placed the string into the child’s hands.
“Thank you!”
His face hidden beneath a hood, the man stood notably tall. The child looked up at him with admiration.
“Be careful.”
Adults around here show no consideration at all. The man quietly muttered as he tied the string securely around the child’s wrist.
Beaming, the child gave a quick bow and vanished into the crowd. The red balloon bobbing above the sea of people signaled the child’s safe passage.
“Captain Rivel.”
The man turned around. More people filled the capital than during his last visit. Among them, a slightly older man approached Rivel.
“The mission is ready, sir.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
_____
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