I Will Live for Your Death (20 Chapters Left to Complete) - Chapter 1
The Empress’s Palace greeted a tranquil afternoon, enveloped in quiet leisure.
This leisure soaked in sunlight, turned golden, and crept in bit by bit through the gaps in the windows.
Ilyd had temporarily dismissed all her maids, including the head maid Lynette. Thanks to this, the palace maids and servants could enjoy a brief respite.
She closed the door to the now-empty study and sat back down at her desk. Its immaculately arranged surface gleamed faintly.
Worried that her face might reflect in its polished surface, Ilyd began stacking her pending tasks neatly atop it.
Upon the desk lay a sheet of pure white paper, and beside it, a glass inkwell sparkled in the light.
Once again today, without fail, she picked up her pen. Transcribing texts in the afternoon was one of the Empress’s unwavering daily routines.
‘Must you really transcribe it? If you wish to calm your mind, embroidery or reading would surely be far better.’
Once, when she had been clutching her aching wrist, Lynette had rushed over and scolded her at length. Yet doing even this dull, old-fashioned task seemed the only way to soothe her restless heart.
The wooden penholder was fitted with a well-broken-in nib. Every motion—uncapping the inkwell and dipping the nib—flowed as smoothly and gracefully as water.
Indeed, it was a demeanor befitting an Empress.
The text she transcribed never changed. Ilyd unfurled a vertically rolled scroll. The long sheet of paper cascaded down with a heavy rustle, reaching the floor.
At the very top of the aged-looking scroll, the title “The Empress’s Code” stood out boldly. It was a centuries-old guidebook passed down within the Imperial Household for Empresses.
Ilyd’s pale hand and the white paper beneath it shone brilliantly. Over them, the golden nib glided lightly, revealing the neat, elegant handwriting admired by both courtiers and nobles alike.
Dignified and wise Ilyd.
Whenever people spoke of her, these two words always accompanied her name. It was a title no one who had met the Empress even once could deny.
Graceful poise and an aura of unapproachable dignity always lingered around Ilyd.
The nib began gliding quietly across the paper.
A few strands of bright silver hair, caught in its motion, slipped down along her cheek. With deep green eyes blinking calmly, Ilyd meticulously traced every sentence on the scroll.
[“An Empress must always maintain composure of mind. She must transcend every crisis with equanimity and forever stand by the Emperor’s side…”]Suddenly—thud. The wall of the adjacent room trembled.
The abrupt noise, jarring against the silence, sounded like dissonance. The nib in Ilyd’s hand screeched, spattering tiny droplets of ink.
Calmly, she began wiping away the dark splatters with a handkerchief nearby.
The wall shook again. Amidst the vibration, a woman’s cry rang out.
A sharp, shrill scream pierced through the wall and reached Ilyd’s ears. She knew exactly who made that sound.
Celina Le Diobe—the Emperor’s hidden concubine, known as “the Shadow.”
Soon after, the Emperor’s low groan echoed through. The ragged breathing of the two intertwined without pause.
Of all the vast palace, why here—why right beside her in the Empress’s own chambers? It was as if they knew full well the Empress sat just beyond the wall.
Ilyd set down the ink-splotched handkerchief and picked up her pen once more.
Hadn’t she endured this many times before? She’d simply ignore their theatrics in the next room, as usual.
Perhaps it was time for new soundproofing. How much of the Empress’s budget remained unused? Pushing the thought aside, Ilyd straightened her posture and refocused intently on her transcription, pretending not to hear.
By now, the noise had reached its peak. Celina’s voice, crying out “Your Majesty,” rose shrilly. Breathless moans mingled, then abruptly ceased.
‘So it’s finally over.’
Ilyd gave a barely perceptible shake of her head.
The nib screeched again, leaving only an unfinished smear of ink on the page.
The incomplete characters became hollow remnants of the past. Her hand, dipping the pen once more into the inkwell, began trembling faintly.
She had written a few more lines when the door opposite her desk burst open, revealing a man’s figure. A servant, unable to stop him in time, bowed his head low.
Only one person dared such rudeness before Ilyd—the Emperor Claudius himself.
“How elegant indeed.”
His mocking words slithered in like a serpent. Though her hands and feet tensed instinctively, Ilyd calmly regulated her breath and slowly lifted her gaze.
Claudius leaned against the doorway, staring toward where Ilyd sat. His deep crimson eyes—entirely unlike Ilyd’s—bore into her without restraint.
Over the ornate doorframe, his beautiful golden hair rippled. His attire, however, was disheveled in a manner unbefitting an Emperor.
Between the parted layers of fabric, Claudius’s bare skin was brazenly exposed. Ilyd, showing no sign of surprise, lowered her eyes back to the paper she had been transcribing.
Had he truly had no time to tidy himself?
Unlikely. Ilyd ignored the Emperor’s lopsided gaze and focused even more intently on the feel of the pen’s tip.
A soft footstep approached, halting right before her desk.
“What use is it for the Empress to be ever-virtuous…?”
His sarcastic tone, though slow, was sharp enough to scrape at her insides. Claudius’s fingers abruptly intruded into Ilyd’s line of sight.
Smirking faintly, he scattered the pages Ilyd had transcribed one by one.
Ilyd laid her pen down and pressed it firmly against Claudius’s hand. Without looking at him, she spoke calmly.
“It is one of my daily duties.”
“Do you dream of being the perfect, virtuous Empress? I came here expressly for that, yet not even your expression changes…”
“Go wash and return.”
“Why? Does the scent of another woman on me disgust you?”
He asked as though it were perfectly natural, placing his hand against Ilyd’s cheek. An unpleasant heat crept down her face.
When Ilyd frowned and raised her head, Claudius’s intense red eyes curved into a smirk.
It was clearly mockery, yet oddly gleeful. Did he find this amusing? Ilyd felt her breath catch.
For a man who had just openly bedded his concubine right beside his wife—his audacity knew no bounds.
Strictly speaking, Celina wasn’t formally part of the Imperial Household. In Astrid’s palace, such individuals were called “Shadows.”
Though barred from official appearances, they lived under the affection of the Imperial Family. Sheltered by Imperial protection, they resided secretly within the palace.
The very regulations Ilyd was transcribing had long since turned to scraps of paper. Once seated as Emperor or Empress, keeping one or two concubines became as natural as breathing. Keeping as many “Shadows” as one pleased was simply the privilege of the powerful.
Yet all affections were meant to be fair, and relationships conducted discreetly.
No matter how absolute the Emperor’s authority, there were lines he must not cross. At the very least, he owed the Empress the outward shell of affection.
But Claudius had long overstepped those bounds, openly favoring only his “Shadow.”
He showed no hesitation in displaying affection even within earshot of the Empress—be it in the Imperial Palace gardens or even formal events teeming with nobles.
To Claudius, unspoken rules were mere dust—easily blown away.
As a result, the Empress’s authority and honor within the palace were slowly crumbling.
Ilyd quietly exhaled the breath caught beneath her sternum. Then, lifting her pen, she gently moved Claudius’s hand still resting on her cheek. At this moment, she wanted no part of her husband to touch her.
“If you remain disheveled, it will tarnish the dignity of the Emperor.”
“Is that truly the only reason?”
“Yes. What other reason could there possibly be?”
Ilyd’s green eyes remained unwavering—clear and steady, capable of enduring any storm with serene detachment.
Claudius frowned, gazing into his wife’s unflinching eyes. He knew well that further words would be useless.
Without a word, he turned his back on Ilyd and walked away.
If humiliation had a scent, this would be it—a sharp, nauseating odor seeping slowly toward Ilyd.
She shook her head a few times and fixed her gaze on the scattered pages. Yet she couldn’t completely suppress the sigh escaping her lips.
The moment Claudius opened the door, a clear, fresh voice rang out eagerly.
“Your Majesty!”
Bright pink hair brushed against Claudius’s bare chest, carrying the fragrance of newly bloomed blossoms.
Two innocent jade-green eyes boldly looked up at him.
Celina, having swiftly composed herself, embraced the Emperor’s waist like a blooming flower in full bloom.
It was impossible to believe this refined figure had been crying out in heated passion just moments before.
“To leave after only a single embrace… it’s disappointing.”
“How delightfully jealous you are.”
“But you said just now that I’m the only one for you…”
“Yes. In this entire nation, you alone—Celina—are the one who holds the Emperor’s love.”
Claudius ran his fingers through Celina’s hair, gently threading between each strand.
Celina, accepting his touch, trembled lightly and nestled deeper into his arms.
This was power.
Those who received the Emperor’s love inevitably gained influence within the Imperial Household—and she knew this better than anyone.
Her maids’ obsequious attitudes and the luxurious treasures filling her chambers were proof enough.
It felt like only yesterday her family had fallen into ruin and hardship; now, she seemed to hold absolute power in her hands.
Celina stood boldly on her tiptoes and kissed Claudius. Only a “Shadow” in the palace dared kiss the Emperor first—and he chuckled softly, gladly accepting her impudence without refusal.
Their entwined fingers tightened. Breaths grew thick, filling the corridor and slipping through the open doorway.
While sharing lips with his concubine, Claudius glanced briefly at Ilyd. His upturned crimson eyes swept over her in the room.
‘Look at this.’
Of course she cared. She was just pretending not to see, wasn’t she? Biting her lip, telling herself she must uphold her dignity as Empress.
He hoped so, at least.
But his assumption proved utterly mistaken. Inside the room, Ilyd continued moving her pen diligently, showing not a flicker of interest in the pair outside.
Ilyd wasn’t unaware of their antics. Even with her eyes closed and hands busy, her ears remained open.
In the stillness, their intimate whispers reached her clearly, unburied by other sounds.
A lesson Ilyd had learned from her long stay in the palace:
If you cannot filter it out, ignore it utterly.
If someone is impossible to remove from your life, simply live as though they never existed.
How much time had passed? The two before the doorway had vanished somewhere.
Now, perhaps, she could finally breathe. Upon reaching the final sentence of the scroll, Ilyd set down her pen and let out a deep sigh. The pressure under her sternum eased slightly.
She began gathering the papers spread across her desk. The period at the end of the last sentence bled faintly along the paper’s grain.
Though she had tried to ignore them, her concentration had clearly scattered without her noticing. A bitter smile formed unconsciously at the corner of Ilyd’s lips.
It couldn’t be helped. She was already weary of letting go. She gathered every desire and thought onto paper and neatly folded them into the bottom drawer of her desk.
As she closed the drawer, a few sheets inside fluttered softly. Some bore the crests of noble houses; others bore none at all.
At first glance, the letters seemed ordinary greetings. But reading carefully revealed promises of support for the Empress.
‘I have not forgotten Countess Melphiram’s past kindness.’
‘Remembering the beautiful day of May.’
Melphiram—the name had now become dangerous. It was Ilyd’s birth family, now erased entirely as traitors.
Ilyd carefully tucked the letters deep between the pages of her “Empress’s Code” transcription.
‘Mother. Father. And my elder brother.’
In her dreams, her family appeared in their pitiful final moments—executed as traitors, haunting her endlessly.
The man who had exterminated them was none other than her husband, Claudius.
‘I’ll end it myself. I surely will.’
Ilyd gripped the drawer handle tightly. Compared to the seething rage in her heart, the drawer closed with surprising quietness.
She returned once more to the composed bearing of the Empress. It was time to begin her next duty.
When male lead is the homewrecker
“I know she doesn’t love him.”
I’ve read the novel below twice already. Girls, I’m highly recommending it to you!
The female lead? Not a good person.
The second male lead? Not a good person.
The male lead? Willingly plays the third party, breaking up the female and second male lead’s relationship despite all the warnings from his friends—so yeah, he’s definitely not a good person either.
Basically, nobody in this novel is simple-minded or without scheming.
The female lead starts off as the male lead’s secretary, but don’t worry—later on, she takes over the company while the male lead steps back to support her. He won’t steal her spotlight, overshadow her, or dull her shine.
I love novels where men are out here snatching wigs, tearing each other down, and going to war just to win the female lead’s affection. And this is exactly that kind of novel. Most of Hai Dai Ran’s works have this dynamic. You’ll see the male characters’ emotions being pushed to the absolute extreme.
There’s even a scene where the second male lead exposes the male lead online for being a homewrecker. The brotherhood immediately gangs up on him, dragging him through the mud. I find it compelling —it completely flips reality on its head, where usually, women are the ones fighting over a man and getting torn apart by the sisterhood.
For me, female leads in the novels I read should only struggle in their careers, not in love. But if the brainless romantics in the story are all men? I have zero complaints.
I’ve pretty much read all of Hai Dai Ran’s novels and even translated all of them—her works are just my thing. I’ll slowly upload everything here. One day, when my website is official, I hope I can invite her to join as one of the star authors.
Here’s the story synopsis:
One-line summary: She is his lifelong obsession, to the point where he was willing to be a third wheel, scorned by society, just to wedge his way into her relationship with her fiancé.
Cold-hearted and indifferent female lead + Scheming and subservient CEO male lead
Intro 1:
“I know she doesn’t love him.”
With blood trickling from his clenched fist, Rong Xiu gazed at the woman before him, his eyes clouded with anguish. Hidden in the wardrobe, he had witnessed Fan Xia – the woman he desperately loved – in an intimate embrace with her fiancé. Yet his heart still yearned for her, defying all reason.
Fan Xia, the elegant and composed assistant, carried something mysterious in her eyes whenever she looked at her fiancé, Wen Lan Sheng. Strange occurrences began to surface – secret meetings with the young Gu Jin Yi, an unexplained withdrawal of 5,000 yuan… Then suddenly, her fiancé’s sister, Wen Jing, violently attacked her.
In this matriarchal society, Rong Xiu had risen to become the chairman of a powerful healthcare conglomerate, breaking through gender prejudices. But for the first time, he willingly stepped into the shadows as the other man, disregarding his friends’ warnings to become her secret lover.
Because he had discovered the truth – Fan Xia wasn’t the pure angel everyone believed her to be. And perhaps, he was the only one capable of helping her execute her mysterious plan…
Intro 2:
Rong Xiu’s biggest regret in life was missing out on Fan Xia.
He secretly loved Fan Xia for 7 years.
Watched her go public with her boyfriend.
Watched her kiss her boyfriend at their wedding.
Until that man blissfully nestled in Fan Xia’s arms, obtaining everything he could only dream of.
The crazy jealousy stripped away his hidden secret love, layer by layer, burning like wildfire.
Fan Xia, how can I have you!
【Reading and Trigger Warning Guide】
1. Female dominant, male submissive, male pregnancy
2. Male lead schemes his way to the top, male competition
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Please help me, I want to bring you the best possible things.
If you find any chapter or novel with poor translation and editing quality, let me know by commenting directly under that novel or chapter. I will retranslate it as soon as possible.
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VKotaku28
Cut it off