I Suddenly Returned as the Insane Grand Duchess - Chapter 1

A white console decorated with gold trim, a canopy bed with red curtains, antique furniture and Western-style masterpieces painted on the ceiling.

The bedroom, covered in dazzling luxury, was unusually busy, and the maids in black uniforms bustled about, glancing at the bed as if it were a gateway they had to pass through.

On the bed, which was the focus of attention, lay a woman covered with a blanket the same color as the curtains. Her hair, too, was as red as bloodstains, like the crimson blanket covering her.

The appearance of the woman, who seemed to be asleep, was strikingly beautiful. Had she not been the notorious subject of wild rumors, everyone would have been so entranced that they would have reached out to touch her jade-like smooth skin.

However, the woman was a figure of such famous rumors that there was no one in the vast Empire of Roddo who hadn’t heard of her. Moreover, her pallid complexion made her look like a pale corpse, so naturally, no one dared to touch her.

Amidst the atmosphere of bewilderment and concern, there was constant murmuring inside. Some of the whispers would have sounded cruel and inhumane to anyone unaware of the circumstances of the Grand Ducal family.

“…His Grace… the Duke…”

“When will she wake up?”

“I wish she’d stay like this forever.”

In the contradiction of anxiety and relief mixing in one space, the noise that seemed like it would be unsettled forever stopped simultaneously with a stir on the bed.

“Hmm.”

The moment a slight rustling was heard, the bedroom erupted as if a bomb had dropped.

Amidst the increasingly heightened atmosphere, a blue light slowly appeared beneath the dense eyelids. It was an eye color reminiscent of a clear sea.

She’s awake!

In the midst of cheers and regrets chaotically mixed together, some of the maids who were the first to come to their senses rushed out into the corridor to call for the physician, while the rest stood motionless, forgetting even how to breathe, their hands trembling.

While it was very busy outside, the eyes resembling a clear sea blinked as if breathing.

One of the maids who had been exchanging glances approached the bed with her hands clasped tightly, her face a mix of complex emotions. However, Lilith, the maid, suddenly stopped just a few steps short.

The maids watching anxiously from behind looked questioningly at her suddenly halted back. As Lilith slowly turned her head back, her eyes were filled with bewilderment.

‘Why?’

Moistening her parched lips with her tongue, a maid standing behind her moved her lips. Reading her lips, Lilith couldn’t bring herself to answer and turned her head back.

As she faced forward again, she saw blank eyes devoid of killing intent, anger, or hostility. It was a completely different reaction from what they had expected, thinking she would wake up screaming in shock. As she showed a perplexed expression, the rest of the maids who had been watching anxiously also approached hesitantly.

The woman lying on the bed still showed no reaction, as if she were a corpse, even though her eyes were open. It was only when the physician, who had heard the news much later, came rushing in breathlessly that she slightly tilted her head.

* * *

‘…Heaven?’

A movie set, or perhaps a dream?

That was the only way to think about the situation. Because she had certainly died.

‘Ah, then this must be heaven.’

It was then that the eyes that had barely revealed themselves closed again.

Beeeep—

As a strange ringing pierced her ears, puzzle-like scenes unfolded in her dark vision. The separated puzzle pieces began to fit together one by one, forming scenes.

A dazzling woman with red hair and a man as beautiful and robust as the woman.

The two getting married, welcomed by everyone.

The beautiful couple, resembling a bright spring day, smiling happily at each other.

Memories that were familiar yet seemed to belong to someone else flashed through the dark vision.

It was a heartwarming sight that warmed the heart just by looking at it, but the change was as instantaneous as the speed at which it had passed.

Crash!

The harmonious pictures cracked and shattered into pieces.

A woman breaking things and a man dining alone,

The sight of them fighting fiercely while crying,

A couple ignoring each other.

These were scenes in stark contrast to what had been seen just moments ago.

Though she had never seen these things before, the woman couldn’t understand why they didn’t feel unfamiliar, why her heart ached so much.

Before she could gather her senses that were trembling, the scene of a man in a white suit smiling gently at his reflection in the mirror appeared. The man adjusted his tie, and behind him appeared the back of a woman wearing a white veil. Upon discovering the woman, the man smiled even more brightly. Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak—.

“Haa, haa.”

Her eyes opened.

“Your Grace! Are you conscious?”

Only after feeling as if the memories she had stolen a glimpse of from someone else’s mind were flowing into her body and becoming internalized did a belated, thunderous realization strike her.

‘Oh my goodness.’

She had regressed to her previous life.

‘As Selene Adrian, the Grand Duchess who suddenly went mad one day.’

As she flailed her trembling hand aimlessly, she caught hold of someone’s sleeve. It belonged to the doctor who was looking at her with concern. From lips as dry as a parched desert, a cracked voice emerged as if it weren’t her own.

So, this was undoubtedly.

“W-what is this…?”

“Ah! She collapsed! Your Grace, please come to your senses!”

It was a reality that was utterly unbelievable.

* * *

The last memory before death was relatively clear compared to the memories of her previous life. And that fairly clear memory was reminding her of an obvious fact.

‘I definitely died.’

And for an embarrassing reason at that – throwing herself in front of a car to save her ex-boyfriend who was leaving after saying goodbye.

According to the doctor, a week ago, the Grand Duchess had nearly drowned in the lake within the castle grounds at dawn. He added the plausible speculation that since no one was around at the time of the accident, it appeared to have been a voluntary incident.

If the memories of her past life hadn’t returned immediately after the regression, this moment would have been thought of as merely a dream or hallucination.

Now, let’s see.

She got up and walked gracefully to the full-length mirror.

Soft, reddish hair that flowed smoothly, eyes that held a clear sea, smooth skin.

It was a face familiar yet strange. It felt like borrowing someone else’s face, even though it was her own.

‘Long time no see, Selene Adrian.’

You’ve returned to being the one who lived such a pitiful life.

The hand unconsciously tracing her face paused near her forehead. She felt a slight ache from somewhere around the boundary between her white skin and red hair.

Was it a wound from scraping against a rock when she fell into the lake?

As she slightly lifted the gauze, a crescent-shaped scar with dense stitches appeared clearly.

Her gaze, which had been scanning her condition up and down, naturally turned towards the white wall.

‘…That’s.’

Her eyes, which had been wandering listlessly, trembled somewhat unnaturally as they landed there. While an unrest that the person herself was unaware of arose, the gentle morning light fell on a frame placed on the side table. Inside the frame was a picture of a man and woman sitting side by side, smiling.

The look in their eyes as they gazed at each other was as warm and gentle as the sunlight slanting down. Enough to make the heart of the viewer ache.

‘Ache, you say.’

This sensation must be due to the overwhelming memories flooding back all at once.

Selene slowly opened her eyes, which she had momentarily closed, and looked at her past self in the picture and the beautiful man next to her.

Although it’s now a faded past, thinking back, that time was a period when love was everything to her, and he was her first love.

It was a story that seemed to belong in a fairy tale, especially considering the prevalence of political marriages at the time – they met at the Imperial Academy, had a long romance, and eventually married.

It was a passionate and ardent love.

They lived happily even after marriage. But that was only until the honeymoon period.

The position of ‘Grand Duchess’ came with many enemies, was burdensome, and difficult. There were many threats and heavy responsibilities. But she endured and persevered. Believing that love alone could conquer everything, she endured like that. The heart that seemed eternally solid crumbled after losing a child.

She cried every day. Though he must have been equally sad, because he was the Grand Duke, because he was in a position of responsibility, he couldn’t freely express his sorrow. Even so, he always came to comfort her, who was lost in the sense of loss. Let’s overcome this together, the man said.

However, from some unspecifiable moment, her mind began to go strange.

As if possessed by something, her consciousness became hazy, and she started to suffer from all sorts of delusions.

Unable to think rationally, quarrels naturally increased.

She engaged in malicious acts, wielded violence under the pretext of unfulfilled emptiness, and hurled harsh words and inflicted wounds on him when he came to stop her.

Affection leaked out like a bottomless jar, and the relationship became irreparably skewed.

Living days as if drunk, when she suddenly came to her senses, Selene Adrian was being called the ‘Mad Grand Duchess’.

Eventually, after an intense legal battle, they divorced, and afterwards, she ended her life by suicide.

‘Since this is after falling into the lake…’

Strangely, while almost all other memories had returned, the memory just before falling into the lake hadn’t. So she didn’t know how she ended up in the lake. But since she roughly remembered everything else, judging from the circumstances, at this point her relationship with him was completely ruined, and she wasn’t in her right mind. So, as the doctor said, it was likely a suicide attempt.

There was something she had realized through two lifetimes. That once a relationship is broken, it’s difficult to recover. Therefore, what she needed to do was clear.

To divorce peacefully. After divorcing him, to go down to a quiet countryside and live alone, spending the rest of her life that way.

She believed that was the path to finding some happiness from this point on.

* * *

“If Your Grace goes first and shows your recovered state, His Grace the Duke will surely be relieved.”

After roughly gathering her thoughts, a week later in the morning, she heard a small voice mumbling. It was a signal that she could no longer postpone meeting with him.

Selene, who had been sitting on the sofa lost in thought for a while, slowly got up and approached the mirror.

A brooch decorated with sun-dried pansies was pinned crookedly near her chest. The woman’s eyebrows twitched subtly as she adjusted her attire through the mirror.

It was such a slight tilt that it would be unnoticeable unless looked at carefully, but the woman seemed to be bothered even by that, repeatedly unpinning and repinning it. It was a persistence that might even seem stubborn at a glance. After indulging in this stubbornness a few times, the accessory attached to her collar was finally pinned straight. Selene lightly dusted off the hem of her deep teal dress to smooth out the wrinkles, only then feeling satisfied with her appearance.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

It wasn’t far to his office.

‘He’s there, just beyond that threshold.’

As soon as she realized this obvious fact, Selene suddenly felt as if she was being devoured by something, and closed her eyes, then opened them again. She felt as if she had been pulled out of water, her mind suddenly clear.

At last, the sense of reality that had been empty began to fill up. Trying hard to suppress the surging emotions, she placed her hand on her chest. Her heart was thumping, tiptoeing.

It wasn’t a particularly good sign.

Hoo. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door twice.

Knock knock—

“Come in.”

A low, dignified voice flowed through the crack of the door. It was a sweet tone that could melt one’s ears.

She turned the doorknob without hesitation. The first thing that caught her eye through the open gap was jet-black hair. Below that, dark eyebrows, faintly shining gray eyes, and a high bridge of the nose appeared in order. His impression, reminiscent of the harsh winter of the north, remained the same.

Boreas Adrian.

The one and only Grand Duke of the Empire of Roddo, the master of the vast northern territory, one of the few Sword Masters in the country. He was a husband who shone even in appearance, holding various titles.

‘Husband.’

It was a newfound word. She whispered that word, which felt so unfamiliar, only rolling it on her tongue inside her mouth. A bitter taste lingered on the tip of her tongue. It was a taste she had experienced before… What was this again?

While she was having such somewhat absurd thoughts, a stiff and cold tone pierced her ears.

“Speak.”

He, who hadn’t thought to raise his head even though someone had entered, belatedly lifted his gaze only after receiving a quiet response.

Two gazes became intricately entangled in the air. At that moment, his face contorted as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. It seemed he had thought someone else had come to visit.

“……”

“……”

An unfamiliar visit and an unfamiliar reunion. For their own surreal reasons, the two remained silent. A moment of silence fell, except for the ticking of the second hand on the clock on the desk.

“…What brings you here?”

“I have something to say for a moment, is now a good time?”

Selene briefly debated whether to use formal or informal speech. However, her worry that using informal speech might feel awkward proved unfounded as the words flowed out smoothly. As if she had perfectly returned to her previous life.

“Just state your business and leave.”

He, who had seemed surprised, soon lost interest and turned his eyes back to his documents. There were no further words after that.

The series of actions of taking out the pen tip, writing letters, and inserting documents into the file continued without any sense of discomfort. As if her existence had been meaningless from the beginning.

However, Selene, who found this situation quite familiar despite it being a reunion across lifetimes, remained undisturbed and stood still, choosing her words. What topic should she start the conversation with? The deliberation wasn’t long.

“You heard, didn’t you? About me falling into the lake.”

At that moment, the hand scribbling with the pen on the paper paused. This man, graceful in everything, was so smooth even in the moment of stopping his movement that it gave the illusion that only time had stopped there.

Selene looked at the ambiguous area between the bridge of his nose and his eyes, reciting her thoughts.

“As my body was sinking deeper, I really thought I was going to die. They say people change when they come back from the brink of death, I guess I’m that type. I’ve been thinking a lot since overcoming that near-death experience.”

“……”

Ha.

The response after a long silence was a wry laugh. Letting out a hollow laugh, he put down his pen with a thud and roughly ran his hand through his bangs. Then, unconsciously looking at the desk, he suddenly flipped face down a frame that had been standing in the corner.

As that was the first stiff action that stood out from his consistently smooth movements, Selene lowered her gaze, which had been fixed on his face, following his hand gesture. However, before she could do so, a harsh voice immediately fell.

“You make it sound as if it was an unfortunate accident. Don’t you think it sounds like nonsense even to yourself?”

Evidence that seemed to justify such a definitive conclusion was scattered on the desk. The title of the report was ‘Investigation Results on the Grand Duchess Adrian’s Suicide Attempt’. It was natural for Boreas to feel no credibility in her words.

Meeting his eyes again, Selene straightened her back.

“It’s not nonsense.”

“……”

“I realized how painful dying is and I’ve reflected a lot.”

“If you’re really in pain, go to sleep. Don’t do this here.”

“I know you won’t believe me. But my thoughts have really changed.”

Her heart beats violently. Why is it like this? Unable to find the reason, Selene paused for a moment to catch her breath.

However, perhaps that unintended silence had its own effect, as Boreas slowly rose from his seat. Then he stared intently at Selene.

Is he gauging what kind of whim this is?

Although his gaze was impossible to read, the fact that he had taken an attitude of listening was a good opportunity for her. In the cold silence, Selene whispered.