I Regret The Kindness I Gave You - Chapter 52

“If it has caused enough trouble for the lord to be concerned about, I will go to the Lupinus territory and tell him to return.”

“My, my. What on earth is the reason for that? What did that fellow do to make you so resentful towards him?”

As Merche pressed her lips together and did not answer, Mariette approached and patted her shoulders.

That’s right. At this age, it’s impossible not to have a lovers’ quarrel at least once.

“…Merche. Actually, Karla had a message she wanted me to pass on to you.”

She recalled her granddaughter, who had come to her restlessly like a rat with its tail on fire.

Before, she would only complain, calling him a mad wolf or a damned fellow.

And now, it was ridiculously contradictory how she was at a loss, concerned about that fellow from Lupinus.

“That carriage accident from a year ago, she said it wasn’t his doing. Karla, that child, insisted that you must know about it and left in a hurry.”

“……”

“I don’t know what happened, but let me ask just one thing. Do you utterly despise your fiancé?”

“……No. It’s not like that.”

“You can be honest and let it out. If there’s something bothering you, tell me.”

Even when gently coaxed and questioned, Merche shook her head in the end. Then, Mariette said with a wry smile,

“If you want to break off the engagement, I will help you do so.”

[This is the timeline separator]

Merche had only returned to her mansion, which had finished repairs yesterday.

Seeing her low spirits upon returning from her outing, Mrs. Martin took the initiative to dismiss the servants and quietly left as well.

“…Hah.”

Why couldn’t she deny it? Like a fool, why on earth?

−If you want to break off the engagement, I will help you do so.

She couldn’t respond to those words.

The expression she had maintained without any fluctuation throughout trembled after hearing those words.

−…Merche. It’s not easy to meet someone who would even risk their life for you in life. …That day. When the Basilisk tried to kill you, he jumped in front of that terrifying thing to protect you.

−……

−Consider it as repaying a life debt and listen to his story for once. And it’s not like you completely dislike him, right? …Well, judging by his behavior, he needs some training, but anyway.

Putting everything else aside, if he’s someone who could die for Merche, wouldn’t that alone be enough to pass? Mariette smiled shrewdly.

The memory of her stroking Merche’s hair, saying she understood her heart completely, brought a rush of sorrow.

‘Do you still desire him?’

An unclear voice, not knowing whose it was, echoed in her ears.

Merche did not answer and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her closed eyes on top of them.

It’s different from before.

I’m no longer the me who was merely thirsty for affection, and I know how twisted that person’s feeling of ‘love’ is.

…I won’t be swayed anymore. Never again.

Merche buried her face in the golden sandy strands that brushed her cheeks as she pursed her lips.

[This is the timeline separator]

“Merche! Did you hear about the gathering?”

Thump, thump… Karla rushed in, stomping the floor as if chopping with an ax.

Merche, who had fallen asleep while sitting on the sofa, rubbed her eyes and lifted her head languidly.

“…What are you talking about?”

“On that day, the family heirs will have a small competition just for fun. What should I do? Won’t I come in last place there?”

Karla, whose feet were fidgeting with anxiety, plopped herself onto the sofa as if clinging to it.

The white ribbon decorating her single braid swayed violently, then loosened with a snap and fluttered as it fell.

Merche caught the falling ribbon without any thought.

Perhaps because she had just woken up, her head felt hazy. She needed to respond to Karla’s story, but her heavy body made it difficult.

“Why are these people having a pointless competition? What’s so fun about that?”

Ugh, so annoying!

Karla shook her head vigorously.

It was then. Behind Karla’s fluttering dark green hair, Mrs. Martin quietly walked out, holding something in her hand.

“Young lady. Your younger sister sent a package along with a letter.”

A package?

“What is it, I want to see too…!”

Faster than Merche, whose name was written as the recipient, Karla snatched the small package.

The loosely tied string and a layer of wrapping paper were quickly removed. Karla’s expression soon contorted as if holding back laughter upon seeing what was inside.

“It’s a fairy tale book? …Pfft. Merche. Your sister must see you as really young. Let’s see, 「The King of the Sea」…?”

Currently, she was too tired to have the energy to examine the book, so she just let Karla read it.

After focusing on the contents of the fairy tale book in silence for a while, a voice full of puzzlement saying “Huh?” was heard a few minutes later.

“Merche. There are underlined parts here in the middle…?”

「The King of the Sea drifted ashore with the waves.」

「On the first day he set foot on land, a crisis befell the King of the Sea. His body was burning with fever, making it difficult to breathe.」

「The King of the Sea threw himself into the lake.

Without needing to come up to the surface to catch his breath midway, he could breathe while submerged in water just like on land.」

There were a total of three underlined passages.

Merche, who had approached Karla’s side at some point and lowered her head, silently recited the three paragraphs with only her lips, without making a sound.

…It seemed to be content without anything particularly special.

It was difficult to discern Christine’s intention in underlining and sending it.

Around that time, Karla, who had quickly skimmed through to the last page of the book, let out another “Oh?”

Flap.

An old piece of paper tucked into the last page fell out. It was a paper with yellow spots here and there, as if showing the traces of time.

“What is this… It’s blank, there’s nothing on it. Why would she send this?”

Karla flipped the paper with a whoosh.

“…Oh! Merche, could this be your family?”

Then, a portrait of a harmonious family of four, hidden on the other side, was revealed.

At Karla’s noisy fuss, Merche also lifted her head to look at the portrait.

“…My goodness. Isn’t this a complete baby…? This is you, Merche? Almost exactly the same as now!”

…What?

It was a family portrait she was seeing for the first time. Yet, a strange sensation kept poking and prodding her nerves.

What was it? What was the problem that made it…

“Ah! This must be your younger sister? It seems the age difference is quite significant, unexpectedly?”

Age difference. At that word, all thoughts came to a halt for a moment.

Merche froze, holding the portrait.

This doesn’t make sense. How could this be… How does such a picture exist?

Merche and Christine. They were sisters with a two-year age gap.

Rather than having a large age difference, they were sisters who appeared almost the same age, with not much difference in height.

However, the sisters in the picture did not look like they had a two-year age gap at all.

Christine as a newborn in her mother’s arms, and young Merche standing beside them, looking about six or seven years old.

She felt as if she would faint, her mind going numb. The old family portrait slipped from her weakened hand and fell, flying through the air.

[This is the timeline separator]

[Hello, elder sister. I received your last letter well.

As I’ve said many times, I’m doing well ‘without any problems,’ so you don’t need to repeatedly ask about my health.

–
–
–
…By the way, it’s unfortunate that you lost the book I gave you during the carriage accident.

If I could send you the same one, I would, but unfortunately, it was an item that I can’t do that with.

Actually, at that time, I had tucked a page of Mom’s diary inside the fairy tale book.

Trying to recall it now, it may not be accurate, but I’ll write down what I remember.

‘The first time I saw Mel, she was in the form of a bright halo. A bright halo enveloped Christine, whom I almost lost, swept away by the waves, and drifted along with her.’

‘The halo soon transformed into the appearance of a young girl. Considering it a miracle and gift given to me by the sea, I immediately brought her home.

But that night, the halo−now Mel−fell gravely ill. The fever wouldn’t subside and kept rising, and I cried and wailed, thinking the child would die.’

…This content is probably correct.

You’re smart, so I believe you can figure it out without further explanation.

Lastly, I’m sorry for calling you a ‘monster’ before. It was said by an ignorant young child, so don’t take it to heart and just forget about it.

Then, take care of your health, and I hope you remain safe as you are now.]

[This is the timeline separator]

“…Gasp!”

Merche, drenched in cold sweat, inhaled sharply.

…She had a nightmare. A dream where her mother and father pointed at her, calling her a ‘monster.’

Even though she had woken up from the dream, it still felt like being trapped and wandering in the dream.

She wanted to get some fresh air. It seemed like that was the only way to barely shake off this sickening sensation.

She stepped on the ground barefoot, without even putting on slippers.

As if sleepwalking, Merche walked and walked aimlessly.

Then, at one point, her feet, which had been wandering around lost, headed north.

The north of the Venenum territory. Mirror Lake was located there.

There was something she wanted to confirm. Merche proceeded towards the north as if sliding.

Shh, shh.

A small white snake that had followed her all the way to the lake raised its head worriedly and curled up at her feet.

Merche gently stroked the snake’s scales in a neat pattern, then slowly straightened her hunched body.

Splash…

She dipped one foot. The winter lake was so cold that it made her bones ache.

Even with both feet submerged in such cold water, her dazed mind was still murky.

This wasn’t enough.

Slowly but steadily, she entered the lake. She continued walking until the water reached her waist.

−Be careful of the northern lake. It’s like a swamp.

The edges are shallow and have low water levels, suitable for young children to play in, but as you go towards the center, it becomes endlessly deep, and if you’re not careful, you might drown and die. Karla had once warned her…

Those words were true.

When she kept going deeper inside without stopping, the water level rose uncontrollably.