I Regret The Kindness I Gave You - Chapter 21

The servants waiting to attend to her left without a word, even though she did not specifically instruct them to do so.

The stimulating and betraying love affair that occurred in the family was a very curious topic, but there was no brave soul who would dare stay in front of the furious mistress to watch it.

After gasping for breath while clutching her chest for a while, Elizabeth glared at Merche as expected.

“Merche! You tell me! Is what Rude said true?”

Merche, who felt numb as if she had been slapped in the face by Rude’s bombshell-like remark, slowly raised her head.

She was about to say no, that even if it were true, it had nothing to do with her.

However, a firm arm wrapped around her shoulders like a snare and pulled her body into his embrace.

She struggled to break free, but it was just meaningless fidgeting in the face of Rude’s overwhelming strength.

“Don’t push Merche too hard. She is my beloved, Mother.”

Elizabeth, who was not only angry but also pale blue, could not even make a sound now.

She was trembling constantly, barely standing, and finally fainted and collapsed.

The servants, called by the startled maid, moved Elizabeth to the bedroom, and in the midst of their piercing gazes like an awl.

Amid the commotion, Rude still held Merche in his arms and would not let her go.

His hand slowly stroking her back was so creepily affectionate and gentle that Merche couldn’t breathe.

-Whenever you teach Rude etiquette, have my maid accompany you.

After the shocking fact of the love affair between cousins came to light in detail.

Elizabeth attached a strong condition as a countermeasure. It was her own struggle to somehow stop the relationship between Rude and Merche.

The reason the education could not be completely stopped was because of Elizabeth’s husband, Genovefa.

Elizabeth stayed up for days and shuddered at the thought that her cruel husband might kill the son he had found with difficulty.

Because of that, some loyal servants who tried to keep their mouths shut had to die and some had their tongues cut off.

The proud son.

Rude, who should have been her flawless, perfect, and noble pride, should not have resembled his father no matter what.

That’s how it should have been. Everything should have returned to its place.

But a terrible tragedy engulfed her son.

The report of each education session, which she heard through the maid as her eyes and ears, not only dried up Elizabeth’s blood, but also gradually began to make her an extreme anxiety patient.

“Merche. How about becoming my companion?”

The proposal, which drove the maid to the point of fainting every other day, popped out again.

“Young master!” the maid screamed until her throat was hoarse.

Rude ignored her as if she were an insect and only stared intently at Merche sitting across from him.

“…A companion is not something you choose. Also, as your cousin, I can never be your companion, Rude.”

Even to the answer she tried to give calmly, Rude scoffed and uttered sophistry.

Then, with an ominous smile on his lips, he spoke to the maid, who looked like she was about to collapse at any moment.

“Go and tell Mother this. If I imprint on Merche, after that, don’t bullshit like now and just accept it obediently.”

“Oh my god! That will never happen! How could such a dirty…”

“What’s dirty? When did I ever take off my pants? Well, do you want me to take them off now to meet your expectations?”

When he grabbed his pants as if to show her, the maid fainted.

Even as she was carried out with her eyes rolled back, Rude tapped the end of the pen holder as if it was not much of an interest to him.

“Next. Start again from where we left off earlier.”

“…Yes. Then I will start with the etiquette at the ball.”

When the maid disappears, Rude’s antics also end.

Although she already knew this from several days of experience, the insensitive instruction to continue the education as if nothing had happened made her choke.

Everything that happens during the education flows to Elizabeth through the maid.

So today’s event will surely become another reason for condemnation.

She was already used to being summoned in front of Elizabeth every day and receiving criticism filled with disgust and contempt.

Being treated like dirty filth alone, taking on Elizabeth’s neurotic symptoms.

Even the strangely strong heartbeat that shook her whole body had already become just another part of her daily life for a long time.

Maybe it was because she hadn’t slept properly for days.

Every time she blinked, the speed at which the darkness in her vision cleared noticeably slowed down.

There was a mountain of things to do. Before she knew it, the sun had already passed the ridge of the mountain while wasting time on useless things.

Why was he doing this to her? What made him so angry that he went this far?

Looking back, there was nothing that could be fathomed. What was the cause and what triggered this result?

She always did her best.

Especially in Rude’s education, she was always tense and attentive. As such, she had never been so rude as to make him this angry.

“Merche. Why aren’t you saying anything? Hurry up and teach me.”

Rude smiled at her.

These days, whenever Merche showed signs of being in trouble or struggling, he would watch her reaction and squint his eyes happily like that.

And then, when she was tired and sick of it and deliberately turned her eyes away from him, he would call out to her with a gloomy face as if he couldn’t stand it.

“Merche.”

“Yes, Rude.”

“Look at me. Don’t rest and teach me. That’s your job that allows a useless substitute like you to stick around here.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Merche meekly bowed her head.

It should have been what he wanted. For some reason, seeing that, Rude only twisted his lips irritably.

Anyway, it was when she was about to continue the lesson again.

A sharp pain that rushed in without warning pierced her head.

Merche stopped breathing for a moment at the throbbing headache.

First, the corners of her eyes stung, and then her nose tingled. A damp heat seemed to rise from her throat and pierce her nose.

When she closed her eyes as her vision spun dizzily, she felt something hot flowing down her philtrum and over her lips.

When she wiped under her nose with her hand, dark red blood was moistly smeared.

“…You! Why are you bleeding… Merche!”

She saw Rude running towards her with a terrifyingly stiff face.

But before he could reach her, a distant pain engulfed her body first.

The ground is tilting. Ah, no, my body is tilting.

The sensation was faint. The sound of someone calling her loud enough to pierce her ears, the fatigue pressing down on her whole body. Everything blurred and faded away.

After that, it was pitch-black darkness.

[This is the timeline separator]

Merche collapsed while vomiting blood. It was the first time since she came to the castle.

Rude, who was in the middle of the lesson, picked her up and ran to where the family doctor was.

His appearance, ranting and raving for them to wake Merche up and save her immediately, was closer to that of an evil spirit.

The desperate madness emanating from him even made the onlookers scared and frozen in place.

By the time the rumors of the incident spread like a fog throughout the castle, the family head summoned Rude.

“I thought it would be just a fleeting emotion.”

Genovefa clicked his tongue and laughed in the pitch-dark room.

When he was in a bad mood like now, his quick-witted attendant would close all the windows and draw thick curtains to block out all the light.

“But it seems that’s not the case… Rude, my son. Do you want to play love games with that child?”

“……”

“Or do you perhaps want to take her as your companion? What on earth do you want to do with Merche? Tell me, son.”

Rude did not answer.

It was not because he didn’t know the answer, but because other thoughts were dominating his entire mind.

What do I want to do with Merche? That’s obvious without asking.

Tie her by my side so she can’t dare leave me.

In the end, even if the emotion flying towards me is hatred, I will have that woman.

The clumsy proposal he made while weaving a laurel wreath was closer to a sticky obsession rather than a romantic love.

He just wanted to hold onto Merche somehow because he didn’t want her to leave him. And it was so pathetic to be thrown away like a worn-out shoe that it made him sick to his stomach.

But why are you vomiting blood? Why are you lying like that and can’t get up? Why?

Even if she died and became a corpse, he thought it would be fine as long as he could keep her by his side.

However, today, he realized that it was his own stupid delusion.

Merche, dead and turned into a corpse. Just imagining it felt as creepy as if all the blood in his body was drying up.

The sight of Merche collapsing in front of him, turning red, was already enough to shatter his mind into a mess.

What is the problem?

Where did things go wrong from the beginning?

He couldn’t understand. Shouldn’t it be no different? Like the desire to live that he had been burning in the arena all along.

The desire to kill others and survive. That primal desire to survive even if it means eating the guts of a beast.

What is different from that? He just wanted to have that woman as much as he wanted to live.

Then it should be enough to just have her, whether she dies or not.

“Rude. Look at your father.”

Genovefa, with a benevolent face, stepped forward in front of Rude.

Rude’s empty gaze did not follow him.

“What should I do for you? Shall I kill Merche for you now?”