When I close my eyes.

Sidney, holding the original novel of the opera performed at the Grand Opera House, was momentarily at a loss for words.

How could she not know? Even if it wasn’t exactly the same, it was clearly the story of Anthony and herself as seen through Emilia’s eyes.

Sidney traced the gold-embossed title with her fingertips and said,

“An author named Lady Burgundy must have written my younger sister Emilia’s story.”

“It could have been written by Emilia herself.”

The thought had briefly crossed her mind while watching the opera. But that was realistically impossible.

“When this book was published three years ago, Emilia was only 15 years old.”

“There are cases of prodigious talent at a young age…”

Maybe so. She was a child who loved books and had exceptional eloquence. Sidney shook her head as she recalled Emilia making up fun stories in her childhood.

“Lord Holden, at that time, Emilia was in a state where she could barely get out of bed. Even now, she can only manage to attend reading groups due to her chronic illness.”

Perhaps realizing his rudeness belatedly, Ernest Holden gave an awkward smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve made you uncomfortable in many ways today, so please accept this book as a gift. It’s a first edition that can’t be bought even with money.”

To refuse after all this… Sidney smiled brightly and took the precious first edition.

Click, the sound of the door opening startled her awake. Whoosh, the faint sound of wind rattling the window, snowflakes fluttering here and there in the cold moonlight illuminating the darkness.

And reflected in the window was Logan Redford, their eyes met as he walked towards the bed in a white gown.

“Are you awake?”

“…What time is it?”

“1:07 AM.”

That’s not what I meant… Still groggy from sleep, Sidney frowned at the window and grumbled.

“That’s not it. Why is the Director in my bedroom at this hour…”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

What? What’s obvious? Sidney stared blankly as Logan climbed onto the bed. He lay down beside her as if nothing was amiss and asked a question.

“I heard you went to the Siesta Salon with Lady Owello?”

“Did you have someone follow me?”

“Yes.”

Why is he so brazen? As she glared at Logan, who was closing his eyes,

“There was an attack last time… I had someone inconspicuously escort you for a while.”

“You’re not monitoring me?”

“I just received reports of your whereabouts, that’s all.”

Logan Redford answered nonchalantly, as if it were nothing.

If he says it like that, one would just think “I see” and accept it without any discomfort, as if it were water added to water. Is being in the same bed like this also nothing special?

Well, we’re just sleeping… Sidney closed her eyes with a shallow breath. In the silence, the sound of wind faded and his breathing grew louder.

The thick chest rising and falling with his breath, a body temperature slightly higher than her own, and an intense yet sweet scent heightening her senses and causing an inexplicable thirst.

As she unconsciously moistened her dry lips with her tongue, Logan’s deep voice was heard.

“So what did you talk about with Lady Owello?”

“First, tell me what happened with Walter this morning.”

“Are you trying to make a deal?”

His sarcasm made her turn her head involuntarily. The moonlight filtering through the window faintly revealed Logan’s face.

His blue eyes looking at her must be full of dissatisfaction, and his brow furrowed. Imagining his expression in her mind, she spoke in a whisper.

“What happened this morning comes first… I’m asking as a favor.”

“If it’s a favor, I suppose I can refuse.”

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Logan’s expression gradually became clearer. As expected, he was frowning, which made her smile slightly.

“That’s right. But I want to hear it from Logan, not Walter.”

“This is blackmail.”

“It’s a wish.”

His hand slowly reached out and gently stroked the red hair scattered on the pillow. Looking at his large, long fingers, Logan began to unfold the story one by one.

Unlike him, or perhaps exactly like him.

Anyway, he detailed the events chronologically, from witnessing Dean Hamilton’s ordeal in the underground prison where Walter had inexplicably taken him, to moving to the interrogation room.

Sidney, who had been listening silently, smiled bitterly and murmured.

“…He showed me.”

That her fate, and the fate of those who had hidden her, would be no different from Dean Hamilton’s for deceiving the Arsnal Empire’s law and the Emperor. Perhaps they would suffer even greater hardships.

“He was trying to see if I knew your secret, or warning me to pretend not to know even if I did. Daring to do so, when he couldn’t do anything himself.”

“Walter, that guy… didn’t do it, not couldn’t. Because at that time, I had no preparation, no will to do anything…”

With a mindset of letting things be.

Her father and brother who had died so meaninglessly, the responsibilities they had passed on, Emilia, and the sin of unknowingly deceiving the world.

It was a time when all of that was just overwhelming.

“I just didn’t reveal it. Back then, I was more twisted and broken than Walter. So, we just agreed to pretend not to know, to pretend everything was fine.”

“You always avoid things.”

Avoidance? She had just covered it up, not knowing what to do, because there was no proper solution. What could she and Walter Asner, mere military academy cadets, have done?

Perhaps reading Sidney’s silent protest, Logan’s criticism continued.

“This morning too, you left me and Walter Asner behind. How long are you going to ignore and avoid things?”

“…!”

It felt like being doused with cold water while walking down the street.

It was true that she had fled from difficult situations twice today alone, just as he said.

But.

“What if I don’t? What happens if I don’t run away?”

Maintaining an appropriate distance from her loved ones… On the day she pays for her sins, they should know nothing.

Logan slowly reached out his hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. Her lips moved involuntarily at his gentle touch.

“If they become criminals because of me, because of…”

“Sidney Warden, if you want to protect them that much, you should fight instead of running away.”

Logan Redford propped his arm on the pillow and touched his temple. With an utterly serious expression and arrogant eyes, he said provocatively,

“Why, not confident? Even though I and the Redford Marquis family would gladly become your sword?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Let’s change it. To a world where your original sin is no longer a sin.”

She had lived as a man since birth. Because of the damned Warden family and her father, and then because she had to enter the imperial army to earn money.

In that process, far from harming her country, she had risked her life on the battlefield and achieved merits.

Nevertheless, because of the ‘Arsnal Empire Law’ established by that damned ‘Great Emperor Cloud’, she had committed high treason just for being a woman.

So there was no need to change the world. Just that damn…

Although there was no one around, Sidney instinctively rolled her eyes to look around.

“…Are you suggesting we change the Empire’s law?”

His hand traced her facial features, flowing down her neckline. Logan’s face slowly approached, his hot breath spreading over her lips.

“Tell me when you’ve made up your mind.”

The deep voice, blue eyes glinting in the darkness, and one corner of his mouth twisted upwards were certain. That she couldn’t possibly refuse his offer.

That confidence and arrogance were terribly like him. Out of a pointless defiance, Sidney grabbed his hand as it tried to slip between her shirt.

“What if I say no?”

“Exhaling such sweet breaths… You’re cruel.”

No, this man is really. Why is he going in that direction?

Sidney scrunched up her reddened face and snapped.

“That’s not it, we were talking about changing the world… Ah!”

As Logan rose, he pinned Sidney’s hands to the bed.

In an instant, she found herself beneath him, looking up. He whispered as he slowly overlapped their lips.

“Then kiss me.”

She tried to turn her head to the side, but he gently bit her lower lip and murmured languidly.

“Punishment… for saying no.”

No, that was about the Empire’s law. Just as Sidney was about to retort, his heat crossed her parted lips.

A passionate kiss stirring her mouth.

It seemed to try to devour her breath and soul completely. Following the instinct to escape, she twisted her hands and body caught by him, but this seemed to stimulate him more as the kiss became even more persistent.

Urgent as if chasing and being chased, yet the pressure was subtle enough not to cause much resistance.

Rather, the suppressed excitement and pleasure from the pressure and restraint he gave were even thrilling, craving for more.

Have I finally gone mad? A question arose in her mind that had stopped thinking. As if reading this, Logan exhaled roughly and muttered.

“I’m going crazy.”

Beyond her blurred vision, his face contorted as if in pain was visible.

The desire flickering beyond his smoldering eyes made her lower abdomen tingle in response. Twisting her right hand, she called out to him.

“Logan…”

With her freed hand, she slowly caressed his cheek. Her eyelids fluttered and closed at the sensation of his rough beard scratching her skin.

In that moment, Logan uttered a vulgar curse and lightly bit her neck. She tilted her head back, making an ambiguous sound that could have been a scream or a moan.

Logan licked the bitten spot as if a beast soothing its cub’s wound, and growled.

“Sidney, I want you, now.”

With that declaration, both his and her reason snapped. And his gown fell silently to the floor beside the bed.