I Killed My Husband - Chapter 40

No desire could be seen in her expressionless face. She almost seemed to be giving up.

It was a sight that, up until just a month ago in Sheim, had been seen to the point of being sick of it.

Anger welled up.

Does this woman not realize why she said those things just now?

He had devoted three months. And still?

Carlos thought he was just frustrated and angry that the time and effort he had put in had not gotten through to her.

The strange feeling hanging at the end of it was too small to be seen.

“…Your Majesty.”

Carlos’s voice reached her, unable to contain her confusion. He seemed angry.

It was strange.

It must be clear that he came to say that he needs to bring in an empress, so he has no choice but to either take her as his concubine or cast her aside separately.

But why?

Her emerald eyes met his black ones.

The moment she saw her own figure reflected in those eyes, Mercedes realized.

She didn’t want to give up this life, this person, this purpose. She couldn’t help it even if she was criticized for being too greedy.

She didn’t want to go back to the past where giving up was a habit.

“Isn’t that right? Your Majesty should marry a noblewoman.”

She exhaled deeply and calmly replied.

Regardless of what she didn’t want to give up, she was curious about Carlos’s thoughts.

“Ha! So you want to throw away the heart that I have been begging for three months into a ditch.”

He was really angry, like a man who had fallen for her.

He was always a person who would collide with her so honestly like this. Seeing Carlos like that, Mercedes made up her mind.

“No. Your Majesty.”

It was a neat voice, but it was shaking a little.

“I don’t want to do that.”

“…What?”

“I needed time to sort things out. I’ll probably need more. And I might regret what I’m asking for later. Because it’s too impulsive. But I’ll say it. I think, for the first time in my life, I’ve properly recognized what state my heart is in right now.”

She took another deep breath.

“I know it’s outrageous and selfish. But. Your Majesty. Please don’t get married.”

Carlos’s eyes widened.

Only then did it enter his sight that Mercedes’s body, which had seemed endlessly calm and indifferent, was trembling finely.

Her voice made a suppressed sound as she spat out her hope, her desire.

“Please place me by Your Majesty’s side. Keep the promise you made over and over again for the past three months. That you would help my revenge and help my life. You said no price was necessary.”

Mercedes took a step closer to Carlos.

Carlos felt an intense pleasure at her taking the initiative to approach, when she had always only stepped back.

“Don’t get married. Your Majesty.”

Both Mercedes and Carlos.

They thought their breath stopped for a moment.

The tension between the two was tight. Carlos stared at the emerald eyes that shone with a very clear light while trembling with tension, then approached her.

“…I accept your request very gladly.”

Then he slowly cupped her cheek… and kissed her forehead as if it meant a promise.

Hot and soft flesh touched cold and hard forehead.

Mercedes felt a shudder from head to toe. It could have been just an insignificant kiss. It was just a touch on the forehead.

But for her, who had always drawn a line, it was like a huge wall crumbling down and the world turning upside down.

Carlos’s lips stayed on her forehead for a long time before pulling away.

Mercedes’s ears and cheeks flushed red.

“If you ask, I will always accept it. Remember that.”

“…Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Carlos carefully hugged her. It was a touch as if he was at a loss, afraid that something very precious would break.

Her body contentedly accepted Carlos’s warmth. It was an embrace of a chest-bursting heat that Mercedes learned for the first time in her life.

And slowly… Mercedes hesitantly hugged Carlos’s waist back. It was a very awkward hand movement. Carlos’s body was so huge that her slender arms couldn’t fully wrap around it.

“…!”

Carlos was quite surprised by her actions. And the stiff hand movements seemed a little cute, making him almost want to laugh.

And it was very satisfying.

Beyond not rejecting the kiss on the forehead, she hugged him back.

Doesn’t it seem like she has accepted him and come to love him a little?

He hugged her tighter.

So that Mercedes would feel more secure. So that she could feel more from this embrace.

Mercedes thought she was suffocating from the strong hug, but she relaxed her body and entrusted herself to him.

Mercedes’s feelings were still not sorted out.

She had only spat out the clear desire that came to her mind. Don’t get married, she had thrown an absurd tantrum.

‘I clearly can’t trust you, no, I clearly shouldn’t trust you…’

Thinking that he would listen to her if she threw a tantrum was the same as thinking he was her ally.

And Carlos, as if it were natural, said he would listen to Mercedes’s absurd tantrum.

Then is this man truly an ally who loves her?

‘Then, what about me?’

Does she love him? Or is she just being greedy?

She couldn’t be sure of anything, but she could say just one thing. She liked his praise. His large hand that sometimes messed up her hair would come to mind every night.

And now, being in his arms felt so good.

Mercedes desperately swallowed the words that welled up in her throat.

She was someone who had to use Carlos.

Of course, Carlos was someone who could read her mind like a ghost, so he probably already knew everything.

Still, she tried hard to swallow them down.

Because she couldn’t spit out the confused emotions that even she herself didn’t know what they were.

“I will… place you by my side. You said it was selfish and outrageous? The heart is originally like that. Just as I forcibly saved you and forcibly gave you this peace. So, you can behave more like that as much as you want.”

Carl whispered sweetly like the devil’s temptation. Mercedes just buried her face in his arms and gave a small nod.

Both of them could feel that they were filled to the brim with their own different satisfactions.

“I… intend to give you the position of royal concubine.”

“What?”

That wasn’t what she had wished for. Mercedes looked up at him in surprise. It was hard to move because she was held tightly with a strong force, but Carlos didn’t let her go, holding a bitter smile.

“If I immediately raise you to the position of empress, the repercussions seem like they will be big. So for now, I’m thinking of giving you the status of royal concubine so that I can protect you, and to shut the mouths of those pressuring me for an heir.”

“Empress…! That’s unthinkable.”

It was a position she had never even thought of. And this man was talking about it very seriously.

“Why is it unthinkable? You are the one I love. Of course, even after you become the royal concubine, you will be free from obligations such as producing an heir. If you don’t want to, I don’t like it either. This is a temporary measure.”

“…Your Majesty.”

“I just hope that someday, when your heart opens wide to me. Think about it just once. Because I am ready to do anything to accept you.”

It was really, really too much.

Mercedes buried her face in his chest, thinking that his heartbeat was a little fast.

“…Thank you. Your Majesty.”

Mercedes replied in a slightly less formal tone.

* * *

‘Mercedes wavered.’

On the way back to the office after his time with her ended. Carlos was convinced.

His heart soared. There was a rough, strange feeling nestled in it, but he skillfully ignored the feeling and focused only on her reaction.

Mercedes revealed her emotions to him properly for the first time. It was a very important event.

Returning to the office, Carlos clenched his fists in front of the candlestick he had lit in the dark room and recalled the beginning of all this.

His curse was inherited from his mother.

When Carlos was about twenty years old, his mother died. It was a time when he was wandering the battlefield with the full support of the previous emperor.

Carlos had many memories with his mother.

Unlike Mercedes, who lost her mother before she could properly hear about her constitution, he had a lot of time and his mother told him the story of his ancestors in great detail, as he grew up with her in a small palace before becoming the crown prince.

You could say it was lucky.

Carlos’s mother was a descendant of the Karkan tribe, which existed long ago, even before the Loom Empire was born.

* * *

The Karkan tribe was strong.

They always offered devotion to God in order to borrow the power of the earth. The Karkan god they worshipped gave them mysterious powers in response, as if responding to them.

They were able to absorb and use the rampant life forces of the earth. They became able to go hunting, wage wars, and accumulate various deaths within their bodies, and that power manifested in an unbelievable way.

A man wielding a sword as huge as if three people were combined, a woman moving so fast that she was invisible to the eye, a boy whose high jumps seemed almost like flying.

This mysterious power was a gift from God, and the Karkans were called the ‘tribe of life’. Whenever they stored up power within their bodies by taking lives, they would hold a ceremony to thank God and console the dead.

It was natural for the Karkans to win in all sorts of tribal wars. Before long, they occupied the most fertile land, formed a tribal alliance, and even took the throne.

The mysterious power could only be used by descendants who inherited Karkan blood.

Therefore, the Karkans married and had children within the tribe as much as possible, nurturing them and enjoying the gratitude given by the land.

There were always many who coveted the fertile land, so war was an inevitable and unavoidable event.

Still, the Karkans were strong, so they won every time.

Then they encountered the Ellawe tribe, which could be called Mercedes’s ancestral tribe.