Indeed, the gods are cruel only to me.

A sense of emptiness filled her heart. The brilliant sun that had illuminated the future suddenly set, extinguishing even the faint glimmer of hope.

All that remained for the woman now were shattered hopes and expectations, leaving only an empty shell.

Long strands hung down over her almond-shaped field of vision. The golden hair obscuring her view faintly concealed Sieghart’s figure.

Though her retina couldn’t possibly be blurry, the visible background appeared hazy and indistinct.

Don’t cry, crying means losing. Just close your eyes. Don’t cry foolishly.

Natasha repeated this to herself as she squeezed her eyes shut.

“So that’s why you treated me like a mere person. I wondered… though you’re not that kind of person at all, why you were acting as if you’d eaten something bad. While Cayena and Kyle Letius behaved exactly the same as in the previous life, I found it strange that only you were different.”

Her voice trembled, postponing even the moment of breathing.

“The very person who tormented me the most in my past life… why was he so different in this life?”

“…”

“You were just acting the opposite. You simply refrained from committing the evil deeds you did to kill me in the previous life. Now…”

Natasha, who had been muttering meaningless words to herself, suddenly fell silent. She had been staring blankly at her feet, but now raised her head. The dim shadows made it difficult to see the other person’s face clearly.

However, having drawn dozens of portraits of the man’s face, Natasha couldn’t possibly forget his features. She glared at where Sieghart’s handsome eyes were located.

“Come to think of it, I never told you this before. Sieghart, I…”

“…”

“Hate you to the core.”

And she confessed.

Unable to bear Natasha’s outburst, Sieghart left the room. After firmly instructing the servants to keep quiet, he staggered as soon as he took a step. He seemed to have been quite shocked.

New bandages were wrapped around her feet. Even though Natasha had struggled and struck the man’s face and shoulders several times, he had silently wrapped the bandages without minding.

Left alone in the room, she was dazed.

The whole situation felt like a lie. It was as if the world was deceiving her. Perhaps the gods were surely testing her.

‘Oh my, what should we do about this?’

A mocking voice snickered and sneered.

It wasn’t the inner voice that Natasha occasionally confused. The voice that hadn’t been heard since that day she spent with Sieghart on her family’s death anniversary had reappeared.

‘What a pathetic bloodline. Didn’t I tell you! You can’t call that man ‘different’ just because he’s being kind to you. How does it feel to be betrayed again? In your past life and in this life, you’re endlessly deceived by that man. You’re unbelievably stupid.’

Natasha covered her ears in horror.

I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it. Even though it’s my own voice, I don’t want to hear it…

I don’t want to hear your voice stabbing me with the truth.

She shook her head as if trying to shake it off. The increasingly sticky voice invaded the buzzing inside her skull.

‘Isn’t it funny? The man who eliminates us was actually the man who created us!’

“Stop it, stop it…”

‘All your pain originated from that man. Ah, poor me, poor Tisha. If only that man hadn’t been kind to you, you wouldn’t have to suffer like this, right?’

The voice knew exactly where Natasha was vulnerable, which parts caused her pain.

‘Making you expect, then disappointing you again. Someone’s well-practiced method.’

It deliberately mentions once more the facts that she herself is aware of, shaking her heart.

Thanks to this, Natasha faced unwanted memories. As the musty smell repeatedly stung her nose, a hazy mist enveloped the room like a fog.

Moments later, the figures of a man and a woman appeared like afterimages.

‘By the way, I heard from the butler, not from your own mouth, that my wife met with the Emperor who invaded while I was away. How do you think that makes me feel?’

It was the day Natasha met Kyle Letius. Sieghart, who had hurriedly gone on an expedition due to the Emperor’s scheme, returned and rushed to confront them after hearing about the two.

What was that? An act of pretending to worry about the woman?

‘You’d want to be happy, right? Your conditions with me would be for future happiness.’

‘…’

‘Then, live. Natasha Asthart.’

To revive her as she was dying from poison at the Knight of Honor coronation ceremony, Sieghart even used up a precious opportunity.

What was that?

Why did he have to save the woman to such an extent?

If he had been worried about his own safety, shouldn’t he have done the same in the previous life?

A person who didn’t bat an eye when she was threatened by Kyle Letius or ostracized by the ducal household’s servants, why now…

‘Please believe. My past, my sins. Your hatred, our misunderstandings, let go of all that and please just believe my current plea and apology…’

‘…’

‘Just believe that, you.’

You told me to believe.

You said I just needed to believe in you.

You admitted that I should put aside your past and sins, my hatred for you, and just believe in your pure plea and apology.

How could you betray me after that? This shouldn’t be the result of believing in you, should it?

‘Are you really hiding the truth for my sake, Sieghart?’

‘…’

‘Is it really for me, not for you? Because that truth would hurt me? Then… are you confident that ugly truth will never be discovered?’

It shouldn’t be discovered.

If you deceived me as you pleased, made me move as you pleased, threw me into a pit as you pleased…

You should have made me believe until the end that where I stood was paradise, not a pit, why.

In fact, the man had many opportunities to confess. Natasha, who lacked trust, tested him countless times.

However, each time, Sieghart slipped away from the situation like a sly snake, pretending not to know.

Even today, the man did not answer. He just stared blankly at Natasha’s fall, and left after fulfilling only his duty as a husband.

‘How does it feel to have deluded yourself into thinking a person with the same appearance would be a different person? Can you tell me how miserable it feels to kneel before the pungent truth?’

“…”

‘The man from your past life is someone you can’t forgive even for the misunderstanding you realized, right? Did he pretend to love you and marry you, only to cast you out as soon as the ceremony was over? Ah, he even refused your desperate plea for help from Kyle Letius. He called your bloodline lowly, and didn’t even worry about you kneeling before the Emperor!’

“I know! I remember! So please, please!”

Natasha cried out towards the empty air. The voice didn’t disappear but became clearer. The devil-like, eerie and cold laughter of the young Natasha Asthart seemed to mock the struggling woman.

She repeated over and over for it to disappear. In reality, the voice had stopped coming at some point, but Natasha still heard its echoes.

“Please be quiet, Natasha Asthart…”

And then, suddenly, she realized that she could no longer send the voice away from her side.

The pier that had protected her from the crashing waves was gone. The fortress that had shielded her from flying spears and swords had crumbled.

Because the man who would cover her ears from the sounds of misfortune, kiss her mouth that exhaled anxious breaths like vomiting, embrace her trembling body like an aspen tree, no longer existed.

Sieghart Asthart.

That man no longer…

It was known that the Duchess had fallen ill with a fever due to the sudden cold weather. The servants were frightened in advance by being told that it was a contagious disease and therefore access to the bedroom was restricted.

That day, only Meliana, who had overheard the conversation in front of the room, and the doctor who needed to check Natasha’s condition knew the truth.

But even they didn’t know the exact details. They could only vaguely guess that mental issues had arisen due to past trauma.

Meliana instructed two mute maids to assist in caring for Natasha. They changed her clothes and washed her dirty body.

Meliana’s main job was to chat beside Natasha. The Duchess seemed to have trouble focusing, but she would respond a little if an interesting story was told.

She barely ate. Even when forced to eat for the sake of her health, it was useless as Natasha would vomit it out a few minutes later.

At some point, she even refused food. She didn’t even drink water properly. She gradually began to resemble Cayena Ten. The image of a failure who had lost her will and purpose and rejected life was evident.

Then one day.

As usual, she went to Natasha’s room with a mute maid. She knocked repeatedly, but there was no answer. Even after standing in silence for several minutes, it was the same.

Anxious, Meliana hurriedly kicked open the door, and was greeted by the Duchess lying limp like a corpse.

Startled, she caressed the woman’s cheeks, begging her to open her eyes. But despite Meliana’s desperate voice, there was no sign of the closed eyelids opening.