I Decided to Let You Go - Chapter 41

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I’m sorry, Natasha.”

The body visible in the red abyss was trembling repeatedly, curled up. The irregular vibrations caused confusion in identifying the culprit, making it impossible to hastily determine who among them was the source of the trembling.

What was it?

For annihilating Natasha’s homeland?

For supporting the killing of Natasha’s parents?

For suggesting to proudly hang their heads in front of the imperial palace walls?

Or for the ten regressions she might not even know about?

Natasha truly couldn’t ask. Because it wasn’t even worth hearing the answer. It didn’t matter what he felt guilty about.

No matter how much the man apologized for a lifetime, what was lost would never return.

“I’ll ask just one thing.”

“…”

“Why did you marry me, Sieghart?”

Instead, she asked something else. Why he married her, whether in the past life or now.

At those words, the man hesitated rather than answering immediately. After agonizing with a lonely expression, he opened his mouth when the silence had settled coldly.

“At first, it was by imperial order.”

Imperial order…

Finally, Natasha discovered why the man had suddenly changed in her past life.

A marriage to obey the imperial command… It perfectly fit the confusing situation.

He pretended to love her to entice her when she was pushing Sieghart away, and after achieving the mission of marriage, he simply discarded the useless card.

“I see, so you married as His Excellency wished, isn’t that the end of it? There seems no reason to maintain the relationship, and I’m even more confused as to why you’re being kind to me. Do you have some twisted hobby of wanting me to love my enemy?”

“…Maintaining the marriage isn’t because of the imperial order. Neither was the reason for choosing to marry.”

“Are you telling me to believe that now?”

Natasha let out a scornful laugh as if dumbfounded.

To say that neither the marriage nor maintaining it was for that reason. It must surely be a ridiculous statement.

“Believe me.”

“…”

“Please, believe me.”

Between the firmly set voice trying to gain trust, desperation seeped through.

“My past, my sins. Your hatred, our misalignment… please discard all of that and just believe my current plea and apology…”

“…”

“Just believe that, you.”

It was an utterly unacceptable statement.

The man’s past and sins, her hatred and desire for revenge. How could the conclusion drawn from combining these be trust rather than distrust?

Natasha was truly amazed at the selfishness of the man pleading for her to believe him. However, she couldn’t openly mock the other’s abasement. Whether restraining the woman’s anger or not, her pressed lips showed no sign of parting.

The hand gripping the dress hem grew colder. As if God’s blessing and Sieghart’s wish were wrapped around her hand, a plea close to melancholy.

House Asthart was experiencing a boom.

While people had been concerned when House Asthart, maintaining an upward trend, took in the princess of a fallen country as its mistress, recently, as Duke Asthart was selected as an honorary knight, even the negative public opinion seemed to fade entirely.

Moreover, the Duchess of Asthart had already firmly established her position within the ducal house. With a successful marriage and selection as an honorary knight happening in succession, it was like celebrating a double blessing.

To commemorate this prosperous period, House Asthart hosted a banquet for the first time since the family’s founding.

The news of a banquet from House Asthart, which only attended imperial banquets and didn’t step into social circles, became the biggest issue in high society.

The first banquet of the most noteworthy family in the empire currently!

While the nobles gossiped that all sorts of things were happening, inwardly they eagerly awaited an invitation for themselves. Some quick-witted ones had already sent grand gifts to the ducal house.

Other northern families were dedicated to building friendships by inviting the ducal couple to simple dining parties.

Due to the poor health of the Duke and Duchess of Asthart, they couldn’t attend parties hosted by other families. Instead, they often sent the Duchess’s close handmaidens as substitutes.

Though it was beyond unusual and even rude for uninvited guests to attend in their place, families wanting to build connections readily accepted the duke’s proposal.

Today was the day three of them were to attend a countryside party hosted by Count Potter. Dressed prettily, they visited the office with the head maid to greet before departing.

“Thanks to the Duchess’s consideration, we get to enjoy such luxury.”

At Cayena’s words of gratitude, Meliana and Vanessa behind her chimed in agreement.

“We’ll thoroughly judge whether Count and Countess Potter are people who might harm the Duchess.”

“And if the young count is exceptionally handsome, I’ll come back specially to let you know.”

“Oh my, Lady Lean? That’s quite a self-interested resolution, isn’t it?”

“Lady Wilts! This is for the upcoming banquet, you know. During the banquet, women’s eyes need to be pleased for House Asthart’s event to be rumored as spectacular, right?”

Seeing them casually exchanging jokes, it seemed the handmaidens had grown quite close. Natasha, who had been writing documents, inwardly smiled contentedly.

The head maid, who had been shaking her head as if they were incorrigible, carefully asked the Duchess.

“By the way, will you really be alright? You were quite ill just a few days ago…”

“The illness has passed, and the cold I caught then seems to be almost gone too. Except for occasional coughing, I’m fine.”

“It’s the best news that your health has improved, but I’m still worried. I wonder if you might be overexerting yourself, madam.”

“Overexertion? I’ve rested for a long time using illness as an excuse. Moreover, I don’t want to hear that we postponed the banquet because of that festival.”

Since the veiled Duchess of Asthart appeared at the coronation, much attention had been focused on her. There was no benefit in creating issues to be criticized for while everyone was watching.

“Besides, we should hold the banquet when we’re shining most beautifully for the best effect, right?”

“Yes, madam. We’ll make you shine as the best in the empire.”

Realizing it was futile to try to dissuade her stubborn mind, the head maid gave up but firmly promised. The three waiting behind also bowed respectfully in succession.

The strange scene made her heart flutter.

Even if it was a relationship initially created by Sieghart’s favor, now it was a precious bond built on trust towards Natasha. Absolute support and love, at least things that the Natasha of her past life couldn’t expect here.

“We should prepare invitations early for the precious guests coming all the way to the far north. Let’s start preparations from next week. Ah, Cayena, could you keep some time free? I’d like to go to the salon together next week.”

“Of course! Just let me know anytime!”

After finishing the conversation with formal wishes for an enjoyable day, she sent everyone away.

A meeting with the butler was scheduled in an hour.

After briefly organizing the documents, Natasha heard footsteps as she was about to go out.

“Um, madam.”

It was Vanessa, who should have gone to Count Potter’s by carriage.

“Vanessa? Did you decide not to go to Count Potter’s?”

“No, I bought some time saying I forgot something. There’s something I really wanted to tell you, madam…”

Vanessa looked around slightly, her head bowed. She seemed to be checking if there was anyone else in the corridor.

It looks like she wants to say something secret. Natasha soon bent her waist slightly in response. It meant to whisper if it was difficult to speak loudly.

“Ma-madam. Please stand up!”

“You said you had something important to say. There’s nothing wrong with friends taking this posture. Don’t worry and speak calmly.”

Whether her consideration unintentionally gave confidence, the hesitant other party started to string words together one by one.

“So, um, about Lady Ten…”

“Cayena?”

As if reluctant to mention the name again, Vanessa just nodded quietly.

“Ah, if you want to go to the salon together, next time-”

“Ah, no! That’s not it. There’s something else I wanted to tell you privately.”

Vanessa, who hurriedly denied that wasn’t her intention, searched her surroundings once more. It seemed to be quite a secretive story.

“The other day when Lady Ten and I went to the tea party hosted by Baroness Schneider… I had to step away for a moment, and when I came back, the two of them were having an interesting conversation about the festival. I didn’t hear everything, but it seemed they were also talking about you, madam.”

Suddenly, Meliana’s tip came to mind.

‘It seems strange rumors are circulating in high society these days. I should go and correct them, saying it’s not true.’

Wasn’t there talk of bad rumors about the Duchess of Asthart? Meliana grumbled that the source of the rumors was suspicious. It was an absurd story that the two were actually a show window couple, but the evidence supporting it seemed too plausible to be just gossip.

From the appearance of their bedroom to their schedules, and even the menus they ate that day. Since these were things that only someone from the ducal house would know, Meliana asserted that the person spreading false rumors must be a servant of the ducal house.

“You should be careful just in case…”

“It’s a misunderstanding, Vanessa.”

Natasha cut in firmly to the other who added worriedly.

“Bu-but madam…”

Vanessa made a tearful face, as if she had become someone trying to drive a wedge between the two. A coy voice followed, claiming innocence.

“I hope you get along well with Cayena. There’s nothing good about having unpleasant feelings between colleagues. I’ll look into the matter well. Thank you for telling me.”

Natasha said as she grasped the other’s hand, as if that wasn’t her intention. As she slowly soothed her, Vanessa seemed to regain her spirits. Cheerfully greeting that she should be going now, Vanessa strode quickly down the corridor.

‘Who should I believe?’

She approached the window and looked outside. Watching Vanessa board the carriage, she pondered alone.

Cayena Ten, a long-time friend and savior of her life.

Vanessa Wilts, a handmaiden she had interacted with for a short time but who was more devoted than anyone.

One of them must be wearing a mask of lies to her.

She had to root out who was on her side and who was her opponent.